Disclaimer: No own InuYasha.

His Past, Her Present, Their Future

Chapter 42 - Eternity

Tea was served to the trio, and Kagome smiled into her cup. It felt so… strange to be sitting in a modern restaurant, listening to strains of music over the hidden speakers, while having a conversation with a grown Shippou and Kagura. Two phases of her life had collided violently, but Kagome was far from complaining over it. She simply smiled as she listened to the banter between her friends, obvious the two had been through a lot in the years between then and now.

"Oh, shut up kid, you don't know anything. I had nothing whatsoever to do with that!"

Shippou snorted, "Sure you didn't. It had your name written all over it! I mean, do you expect me to believe it was just coincidence?"

Kagura scowled at the fox and turned up her nose. "Can't you just forget about it? It was two centuries ago, stupid."

"I'll forget it when you admit it."

Kagome giggled, breaking the playful argument. Kagura cocked an eyebrow at the younger woman. "And what, pray tell, is so funny?"

"You guys. This all feels surreal to me."

"I suppose it would," Kagura drawled, lifting her tea to her lips.

"Alright, well, to get business out of the way, Kagura, when was the last time you heard from Sesshoumaru?" Shippou asked.

Kagura raised an eyebrow. "Before he left. I doubt anyone has heard from him since. He doesn't want to be found. For a six foot man with silver hair, he has surprising blending abilities."

"Shit," Shippou grumbled. "Well, you were his adviser, didn't you advise him not to leave?"

"I couldn't talk that stubborn ass out of something if I tried, kiddo. You know that. Besides… he needed the break. From everything."

Kagome had stayed silent, her eyes closed sadly, but she finally spoke up. "Why did he leave?"

Kagura leaned back in her seat, eyeing her friend. "He needed to get away. Things in the last hundred or two years have changed how we live even more than the gradual changes had. It's like evolution sped up. He wasn't dealing very well with having to hide himself, or no longer being the unquestionable ruler of the lands. People believed us legends and he was no longer feared. He adjusted, like we all did… but it took its toll on him."

"When do you think he'll be back?" Kagome kept her eyes trained on her tea.

"Honestly?" Kagura said softly, cutting her eyes away from the other woman. "In forty-some years. He didn't want to be around with you growing up, your problems with InuYasha… he didn't want to risk losing control and not being able to leave you alone. "

Kagome's chin quivered. "Why can't he be found?"

"Because he doesn't want to be," Shippou cut in. "He left us all with no way to contact him because he didn't want to be bothered. You know him as well as any of us, Kagome. He values his privacy. But hey, like I said, I am sure he keeps in touch with Kouga, who runs Iwaku for him. So, when we go out there, we'll leave a message for him."

Kagome balled her fists. "But when if he doesn't? What if he doesn't come back for fifty years? I'll be an old hag by then! And, what if something's happened to him? Powerful as Sesshoumaru is, a gun can kill anyone. It only takes a lucky shot. What in the hell do you want me to do?"

Kagura shushed her. "Calm down. As his mate, you would know without a doubt if he was not alive, don't worry. As for time..." She sent a glare at Shippou. "You haven't told her yet?"

Shippou looked sheepish and fiddled with his fingers. "I was waiting for a good time. It's not exactly everyday conversation."

Kagome straightened and wiped away tears that hadn't fallen. A curious eye went to her son. "What?"

"Y'see," he said, smiling genuinely over the table at her. "I told you I did a lot of work in science, right? It's been… my specialty I guess."

"I think its funny that a 'mythological creature' enjoys something that has 'proven' his lack of existence."

"Heh, I know. But science has its strengths. Anyway, you know the herb Rin used? I have been working for a couple centuries on improving it. It's died out by now, but I had gotten a few extra in the first place. I've made a tonic that will extend a humans life a hundred fold… and I think I have perfected it so that what happened to my Rin won't happen again," he added softly, staring at his hands.

"Shippou…" Kagome said, reaching over to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his deceivingly rounded ear. "I appreciate the thought, but I can't."

Kagura's eyebrows shot up. "Why not?"

"Because. For one thing, I am not willing to spend an eternity without him. If he's okay now… who's to say he still will be by the time he decides to come back? What if something happened to him before he knew I was alive here and now?"

"You're being silly, Kagome," Kagura groused.

"That isn't all, Kagura. Can you tell me with certainty that he hasn't found someone else?"

The wind witch opened her mouth to retort, but closed it again, her eyes darting to the tablecloth.

"See? You can't. No one can, because no one has seen him in years, and anything could or can happen."

Shippou shook his head hard. "No, mom, you're being paranoid. I know Sesshoumaru better than most people, and he has been doing nothing but waiting for you in these centuries. He wouldn't just give up when time was almost over."

"Whatever the case, Shippou, I cannot and will not do anything like extend my life until he is back. I would rather die never seeing him than live forever knowing I made a mistake."

Kagura nodded slightly in understanding, and Shippou looked to be biting his tongue in frustration. Kagome shook her head at him and sighed, fishing for a new topic of conversation. "Hey, Shippou, how many people know about youkai?"

"Very few," Kagura answered, earning her a glare from the fox. "A select group of government officials along with a couple of the mates of youkai. Not even all of them know. It's rare for a human to know of our existence."

"Why did you tell Professor Kouro then, Shippou?" Kagome asked, brow furrowed.

After a few moments of blinking, Shippou laughed heartily. "Oh, Shin? I've known him since he was a teenager."

"But why chose to reveal yourself to him?'

Shippou smirked. "Well, for one thing, he was already sure of our existence anyway. I guess, though, that could come from another life…"

A quirked eyebrow from Kagome made him grin, but Kagura broke to the punch line instead of letting him drag it out. "He's the reincarnation of the monk. He doesn't know that, of course, but we can tell. When he was younger he was the spitting image of him, and just as much of a perv."

Kagome blinked rapidly before a slow smile dawned over her face. "I knew there was a reason I liked him so much."

Shippou, still pouting from having his fun taken away, nodded. "Yeah, even better is that he and Sango's reincarnation found each other again. It's rather sweet. They have their differences, of course, since their lives were nothing like their last ones, but the core of their personalities is the same. I still miss Miroku and Sango though."

"I do too," Kagome whispered, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. "I wish more than anything that the well would let me back through… just one more time. I want to live my life out there, in the freedom and wilds. I used to think I couldn't live without a bathtub and all my little 'conveniences'… but I know better now. I wish so badly to go back and be in that world again."

"Bah," Kagura huffed. "I rather like this era. So many things a woman can do! Now, let me tell you, a few centuries ago I pitied human women. Even just a few decades ago it was bad. This? This is nice."

Shippou rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up, as if it ever effected you. You've been playing a black widow for ages now."

"But it is so much fun to play with the innocent little human men…"

Kagome smiled wryly. "Consorting with us lowly humans now, Kagura?"

"Not like the pickings are any good with fine youkai men nowadays. They're either hardly out of adolescence or already mated." She sighed longingly, her eyes glassy. "To find a good man…"

Shippou took the other woman's distraction with a grin, leaning over the table to cup Kagome's ear. "She's been pining after Kouga for a hundred years now, but he is still being a stubborn jackass over everything from back then. Not to mention that the minute they get in the same room with each other they start screaming…"

"Fox, what are you telling her?" Kagura screeched, yanking the younger man by the back of his hair. "You better not have told her any of your fairy tales…"

"Oh, please! As if anyone in all of Japan doesn't know about your unrequited love for the annoying wolf!"

"Why, you little!"

"Uhh, guys?" Kagome interjected, waving her hands back and forth complacently. "You're gathering a bit of attention…"

Both youkai stopped and glanced around the room, patrons all around frozen in mid-meal to watch the scuffle between the restaurant's owner and the young man she sat with. Kagura stood tall and smoothed her hair, glaring in a very Sesshoumaru-like manner over her customers. "Yes?"

They all turned back to their own food and conversation, leaving a moping Shippou and annoyed Kagura with Kagome, who was very unsuccessfully smothering her giggles.

"What's so funny?" sulked Shippou, lower lips quivering in an all too adorable way.

"Nothing," Kagome said softly as she came into control, tipping her head with a soft smile. "I just missed this. I forgot what it was like to just talk with people, and not have to think about that I was going to say, make sure I wasn't going to mention and event or person they shouldn't know about… with you guys, I'm free. It feels good."

Kagura sighed and pulled out of her annoyed brooding. "We're glad to have you back too, miko. You touched a lot of lives in a short time."

Kagome blushed, but didn't say anything, thankful for the timely arrival of their food. As they ate, Kagome couldn't help but let her mind wander to how much better it could have been with an addition to the table… but that was for another time entirely.

"Kagome?" Shippou called softly as he pulled her through her door that night, exhausted but glowing happily.

"Yes?" she replied, trying to banish the encasing fog from her brain.

The fox lead her to the couch and sat down beside her, stroking the fingers of one of her hands, worrying his lip. "I want you to think about that tonic. I know you have your reasons… but please, just consider it? I couldn't bear to lose you again. I just can't." Kagome was shocked to see tears gathering in his eyes, his gaze never torn from the fingers he was toying with. "I've lost a lot in my life. I mean, I know others have too, but I got something I lost back. I waited nearly five hundred years to see you, and I don't want to lose you again just because Sesshoumaru-papa has terrible timing and a stick up his rear," he joked halfheartedly, finally raising his gaze.

"Shippou…" she trailed off, breaking the eye contact and looking out the window at Tokyo's skyline. "I can't promise you anything. I won't. But I will think about it. Will that be alright?"

"It's all I ask for," he said quietly, biting his lip. He rose to leave, but paused halfway to the door. "I love you, Kagome. I'll be here no matter what, okay? Mind coming to dinner this weekend at my place? The kids are anxious to meet their grandmother."

Kagome grinned at him and nodded. "Sounds great. Call me?"

"You bet."

With that, Shippou left her in the darkened room, gazing over the twinkling city lights. Could she take the potion that nearly guaranteed her a full chance at life with her love? It wasn't all insecurity about whether Sesshoumaru would still want her… there was so much more there. After all, she was no wimp, she could live on her own. Higurashi Kagome did not need a man to live. Sure, she would be terribly unhappy to lose the one thing that had given her life meaning for the last few years- she halted the painful train of thought before she could damage herself further.

She also wondered about extended life. Could she do it? Could she sit back and watch the world change, her friends and family die of old age while she remained young? It seemed so steep a price. At the same time, Sesshoumaru would likely be by her side if she decided on it. Not only him, but Kagura, Shippou, Kouga… and who knew how many other old friends had survived the years? Could she?

She shook her head and pulled herself to her feet, dragging herself to her room. Eyes heavy, she didn't bother changing as she fell into bed, eyes closing as soon as the pillow was beneath her head. So much was planned in the near future, and she couldn't bear to think what would happen if they were unsuccessful in relocating Sesshoumaru. She knew as well as the rest of them that if he did not want to be found, he surely would not be… but it didn't stop her from hoping. And dreaming.

Kagome ran her fingers gently across the heart pendant around her neck, tracing its lines with a consuming sadness in her heart. The jewel felt cold against her skin, even though it remained against her all the time. But she remembered how it would feel when it heated to alert her to Sesshoumaru's proximity, and clenched her eyes in wish.

The last thoughts on her mind as she drifted off to sleep were ones of love and hope, but laced through those thoughts was a quiet beseeching call. Now, it was only a question of whether or not her call was heard.