I know that I updated yesterday but I'm upset with myself because of my university results and the only thing that seems to cheer me up these days is reviews. Especially from Karen who somehow always manages to make me smile. So to try and cheer myself up I'm posting again today.

Twelve

Harry shook his head and looked back into the living room. Ginny sighed and got up to follow him. As he sat in the armchair she took in his appearance. He looked almost unrecognisable. His hair was filthy, the stubble on his chin indicated that it had been about a week since he last shaved. His clothes held a shabby look that Remus had once worn.

Slowly she lowered herself onto the sofa. As Harry looked at her she noticed that he had a black eye forming.

"What happened to your eye?"

"Ron found me last night."

Ginny just nodded. Well Ron had been ranting about wanting to hurt Harry for leaving. Under any other circumstance Ginny would have laughed. But that was the last thing that she wanted to do now. A still silence fell over them. She was use to sitting in silence with Harry at times but there had never been a tense atmosphere about it before.

Minutes passed and they refused to look at each other. Ginny was getting bored of this and needed to speak.

"You're alright then?"

"Yeah. You?"

"As well as I can be."

She could see Harry nod even though he was still refusing to look at her.

"Where've you been?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does."

"No."

Silence fell over them again. Ginny folded her hands over her chest as she stared ahead into the fire. It felt like a life time before Harry spoke again.

"Why'd you do it?"

"I already told you once."

"Tell me again."

"Why? You're just going to get annoyed and storm out."

"I won't."

Silence again. Ginny moved her neck and looked up at the ceiling. Harry sniffed loudly but still she didn't take her eyes off the ceiling. Slowly she spoke.

"I needed to try."

"I don't understand why though. Weren't we happy?"

"It had nothing to do with happiness. I wanted to feel like a woman."

"What?"

"It's the most unnatural thing in the world Harry not to be able to have children. Everyone craves to be a parent, even those that claim otherwise."

"But we are parents."

"But I needed to know that I could have my own baby Harry. You have no idea what it feels like to know that you can't have children, because you could. I felt like I was a freak, that I was being punished for something I'd done."

"So you went ahead and took the potion."

"I needed to Harry. It would never have mattered if it hadn't worked because at least I would have known that I had done everything that I possibly could to have a baby."

Silence fell once more over them. Ginny closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto the cushion. She felt so comfortable sitting there even if the atmosphere felt like it could erupt. It was another moment before Harry spoke again.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Slowly Ginny opened her eyes and looked at Harry. His eyes were on her taking her in.

"I was scared."

"Of me?"

"Of your reaction. I thought that you would try to stop me."

"Damn right I would. It could have been dangerous Gin."

"I don't care. I had to try."

"You should have told me though."

"What would you have done Harry? Huh come on."

He raked his fingers through his hair as he looked at her carefully. His eyes were filled with emotion that sent shivers down Ginny's back.

"I would have discussed it with you. I would have told you what I thought and listened to you. I would have made us go and speak to Neville. I would have made him check his results again to ensure that nothing could go wrong. Then I would have sat down with you and we could have talked it over and come to a decision."

"And what if we disagreed? What if you came to the conclusion that it was wrong? What if you decided it was too much of a risk? What would you have done? Would you have stopped me from taking it?"

"I would have tried to talk sense into you. But I would know that you were doing what you had to and I would support you. But it doesn't matter what I would have done Gin because you refused to tell me."

Tears came to her eyes as she watched him.

"Harry I was so scared that you would think it was too dangerous and stop me. I needed to do this so that I could feel like a woman again. So that I could look in the mirror and think that yes I am more than just a shell. If I could do it differently I would. I'd go back and tell you but please Harry don't hate me. I can't cope not now."

To her relief he moved from the chair and sat next to her. His arms wrapped around her as he held her closely. She let the tears that had been threatening fall from her eyes. She could hear his gentle reassurances that she was alright.

"Harry I'm scared."

"Shh… I know."

"You won't leave me again will you?"

"Of course not."

"We're having a baby Harry."

He kissed the top of her head and she sighed. He held her gently for a moment.

"Have you told the children?"

"Not yet."

"We better get them in then."

He smiled kissing her forehead again. As he walked out to the kitchen something lifted from her chest. She felt able to breath again. Suddenly nothing seemed bad; everything was going to be easy. She had Harry and that was all she needed to face everything.