Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please review- I love it when people do. Um...sadly enough, I don't have Nimoy's phone number, and I didn't want to make a fake one. Anyways, I really like this chappie, and I hope you do to...

Chappie Two: Freak outs and Insanity

"I find this incredibly hard to believe that we were on a television show." Kirk said. "You played me and this Nimoy person played Spock...it's impossible!" He laughed. "This must be some joke."

"The chances of us having a television show performed about us is-" Spock began.

"I don't want to hear calculations, Spock, I want to hear answers!" Kirk snapped.

"This man is insane." Spock replied. "There could be no show about us. He merely believes that we are people that he knows."

"No, no!" Shatner said. "Chekov was Walter Koenig...or Walter Koenig was Chekov, I guess. I was Captain Kirk, Leonard Nimoy was Spock..."

"Who played me?" McCoy asked.

"DeForest Kelley." William replied. "But he passed away."

"According to this guy, I'm dead, Jim!" McCoy said.

"Yes! You always say that whenever a redshirt dies!" Bill said. "And you always say, 'I'm a doctor, not a moon shuttle conductor' or 'I'm a doctor not an engineer' and stuff like that."

"For being insane, he certainly knows a lot about us." McCoy said.

"I'll prove it to you that I'm not insane!" Shatner said. "Let me call Leonard." McCoy raised an eyebrow. "Nimoy. Leonard Nimoy- Spock!"

"It's worth a try." Kirk said. He handed Bill his communicator.

"How do I work it?" he asked.

"I thought you were me." Kirk said.

"Our communicators were a prop," Bill said, "a piece of plastic. And besides, there's no numbers on here!"

"Why would you need numbers to call someone?" Uhura asked.

"Look, his number is..." Shatner said it. "Can you call him?" Uhura grabbed the communicator and dialed the number. She handed it back to him.

"Leonard? Leonard Nimoy?" Shatner asked. "You there?"

"Hey, Bill." a drowsy voice answered. "You do know it's only five in the morning out here..."

"I have something to tell you." Shatner said.

"Shoot."

"I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise."

"I thought they tore that set down years ago." Nimoy said.

"It's not a set. It's the real thing. Everything is here. The captain's chair, Uhura's station, Spock's weird box thing...Chekov's and Sulu's station...everything is here. It's the real thing."

"Bill," Nimoy said, "When you have too much to drink just take some aspirin and-"

"No!" William snapped. "I'm not drunk; all of this is actually here!"

"Uh-huh. Good night."

"NO!" Shatner said. "Please, listen. You know Spock, right?"

"I should know Spock." Nimoy said. He cleared his throat. "You are being illogical, William Shatner." he said in his Spock voice.

"That Nimoy does sound like you." McCoy said to Spock.

"Okay," Shatner said, "Now, you, Mr. Spock. Say something."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Don't raise your eyebrow, say something!"

"I am Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise."

"SEE?" Shatner yelled into his communicator. "It really is Spock!"

"Very funny, Bill. You put some episode on TV and pretend it's actually Spock." Nimoy said. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"You know Dr. McCoy, right?"

"Old Bones? Of course."

"He's standing right next to me." Shatner said, grabbing McCoy's arm.

"Bill, Kelley passed away a few years ago." Nimoy replied. "Please, just go to sleep!"

"No! I'm not talking about Kelley, I'm talking about McCoy!" Shatner replied.

"There's a difference?"

"One's the character and is alive, and the other's an actor who isn't." Shatner said. "The actual Dr. McCoy, the sarcastic and Vulcan-hating Chief Medical Officer-"

"That's me all right." McCoy said, laughing.

"He's right here next to me." Shatner said.

"Bill. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. Look, I'll call some folks. Just tell me where you are and we'll get you home safe and you can sleep this alcohol off."

"I'm on the bridge of the Enterprise!" Shatner said. "Lt. Uhura?" he asked.

"Yes, Mr. Shatner?" she replied.

"Beam him up here." Shatner ordered.

"Is that alright, Captain?" she asked Kirk.

"Yes. We should beam up the Spock actor if we've beamed up me, I guess." Kirk said.

"Pity we can't beam my actor up." McCoy said, a little sad he couldn't talk to his counterpart.

"One Dr. McCoy is enough." Spock said.

"Having two Vulcans isn't my kettle of fish either, Spock!" McCoy snapped just as the beaming began.

"Kettle of fish?" Spock repeated as Nimoy arrived. "That is an illogical comment."

"This is impossible." whispered Nimoy. "No. That's...me! But not me...I just...oh my...Bill, what is this?" Shatner only shrugged. He wasn't even sure.

"Leonard Nimoy," Kirk said, "this is the Enterprise."

Nimoy went up and poked Spock. He then poked him again. "This cannot be real. This can't be real. This is...real!"

"Are you sure you aren't drunk?" Shatner joked.

"How is this possible? I..." Nimoy shook his head. "There's McCoy. The actual good doctor. And...Kirk! Is everyone here? Chekov...Sulu...Uhura...Scotty?"

"He's in the Rec Room." Kirk said. "Gave him some time away from the engines."

"His bairns." Shatner added.

"Yeah! I...wow." Kirk said, staring at his counterpart. "These people are us."

"We have to get the other actors here!"

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Walter Koenig and George Takei were the next to beam up to the real Enterprise. Shatner had tried to tell them, but the two had, like Nimoy, thought he was going crazy. "What is going on?" Takei asked. "What the...what is going on?"

"There's...us." Koenig said. "Whoa. Us. But younger."

"That's the older us?" Sulu asked.

"Ugh. I'd rather remain young." Chekov said. "And vhere is my accent?"

"I don't know." Sulu said. "This is...crazy."

"No way." Takei replied. "That's seriously us!"

"No, it's not." Shatner said. "It's Ensign Pavel Chekov and Lt. Hikaru Sulu."

"Go ahead, chat with each other!" Kirk said. "Find out how the hell this is happening!"

"Um...you played me?" Sulu asked. The two actors tentatively went to their counterparts and began to speak.

"Next- Lt. Uhura." Kirk said.

"Her name is Nichelle Nichols." Nimoy said. "I'll call her." He grabbed the communicator and moved the dials around.

"How do you know how to use it?" Shatner asked.

Nimoy shrugged. "Well, I had a talk with Gene Roddenberry when I played Spock about how these communicators worked. I figured the real things worked the same way."

"Logical." Spock replied.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock." Nimoy said. "Ms. Nichols?"

"Oh, hey Leonard." Nichols replied.

"That is so weird." McCoy muttered.

"I'm on the Enterprise." Nimoy continued.

"Ha ha ha!" Nichols said. "Are you on the set for that new movie? I didn't think the original cast was going to be in Star Trek XI. Of course, a young Spock is going to be there, but I'm not sure about the older one. Is all the original cast going to be there?"

"Um, Nichelle-"

"Well, obviously not James or De." Nichols sighed. "You know, I'm getting sick of 'hailing frequencies open, Captain', you know? Honestly, I would hate to be the real Uhura." The real Uhura looked up. "I mean, even after playing her, if I hear the word 'frequency' one more time, I'm gonna cry."

"Exactly!" Uhura said. "Oh, please beam her aboard! Someone who understands me."

There was a beaming light. Nichols looked around. Uhura smiled at her. "Hi, I'm Nyota Uhura!"

"Wow." Nichols whispered. "I'm Nichelle Nichols and...I played you." She looked around. "Bill? George? Walter? Leonard?"

"Yes?"

"This is real?"

"Most definitely." Spock said.

"I...uh...wow." Nichols whispered. She looked around. "AHHHH!" Nichols screamed, jumping back. "De Kelley!? This is impossible!"

"What are you calling me? That actor?" McCoy asked. "I'm a doctor not an actor!"

"But you passed away."

"I'm not dead." McCoy growled. "Dammit, Uhura- I mean, Nichols."

"Uh...um." she glanced again at McCoy. "Is Scotty here?"

"He's in the Rec Room." Kirk said. "Why is everyone asking that?"

"Well, uh..." Nichols looked at the happy Uhura. She went over to the communication station and grabbed an earpiece. "All hailing frequencies open, Captain." she joked. "Oh, that gets old after you say it every episode..."

"I know what you mean!" Uhura said. "Well, in a manner of speaking. It's always Klingons calling or Romulans or something. The unexpected becomes so...expected."

"Yeah." Nichols said. The two began to talk.

"Vomen. They're insane." Chekov said.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Koenig said.

"They are crazy. And..." Takei muttered, trying to think of a good word.

"...they behave illogically." Sulu finished.

"How did you think of that?" Takei asked.

"After you spend a few months with Spock you begin to think like him." Sulu answered.

"Just one thing." McCoy said. "I thought that this 'Leonard' Nimoy was supposed to be a Vulcan."

"Yes..."

"So why aren't you a green-blooded, pointy-eared hobgoblin?" McCoy demanded.

"Vulcans don't exist." Nimoy said.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "But I exist. So if I exist, Vulcans exist."

"Well, I mean," Nimoy said hurriedly, "we aren't capable of space travel yet so..."

"...if there are Vulcans we haven't seen them yet." Shatner finished.

"Hm." Spock said. "But you, Leonard Nimoy-"

"Dammit, just call him Nimoy!" McCoy snapped.

"You played me, so you must have acted the part of a Vulcan." Spock said.

"I did."

"I find it hard to believe that you accurately portrayed a Vulcan." Spock replied.

"We should show them the episodes." Takei suggested.

"Later." Kirk said. "First we need to get you in clothes."

"We are wearing clothing." Shatner said, gesturing to his suit.

"Well, not proper Starfleet attire." Kirk replied.

"Ve're not in Starfleet." Koenig said.

"But we do need some proper clothing." Nimoy cut in, pointing to his and Nichols' pajamas.

"We're casual too." Takei added.

"Yeah, it isn't every day ve get a blast from our past." Koenig said.

"Wouldn't it be a blast from the future?" Nichols joked.

"Shut up." joked Takei.

"That's my line." McCoy snapped.

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"It's been a long time." Shatner whispered, pulling on his gold shirt.

"I hate being a redshirt." Nichols complained, emerging from the dressing room. "And this short skirt! Jeez, I liked it when Starfleet switched to woman wearing pants."

"Ve didn't." Koenig joked.

"Starfleet switches to girls wearing pants?" Kirk asked. "Darn it."

Uhura frowned at him.

"Should we tour the Enterprise?" Nimoy asked.

"We already know it though, Leonard." Nichols objected.

"Stop calling him Leonard! I'm Leonard!" McCoy snapped.

"We've been to the sets," Nimoy continued, as though McCoy had not spoken, "but we've never been on the real Enterprise."

"You know, this Nimoy really is like Spock." McCoy said.

"How is that, Doctor?" Spock asked.

"You both ignore me."

"We can tour the Enterprise," Kirk said, "then I want physicals of all of these actors."

"Not the infamous McCoy physical!" Koenig groaned.

"Oh, they're infamous?" McCoy said. "Great!"

"Quick physicals, Bones." Kirk warned. "Not the torture I had to endure last week."

They walked into the Rec Room. Scotty was playing the bagpipes, with many ensigns watching appreciatively. Chekov, Uhura, and Sulu had been waiting for them, and for Scotty's reaction. The Chief Engineer was so engrossed with playing the bagpipes he hardly looked up. When he saw the captain, he went to full attention. "Aye...bloody hell!" Scotty cried. "No! This canna be happenin! Not again!"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's da radiation from the Gamma Hydra IV comet!" Scotty cried. "Dammit, I canna believe it's affecting ya again!"

"No!" Nimoy argued. "I'm not Spock."

"I suppose you're right." Scotty said. "Spock would show less emotion. Are ya a cousin or somethin of Spock's?"

"No." Shatner said. "We're actors."

"...what?"

"It's true." Uhura said, stepping from the shadows. "You see, that's not us."

"But it looks like ya...but older. Much older."

"Well, it's been 40 years since we've portrayed you all." Takei said indigently.

"I'm not blaming ya, Sulu...I mean...who are ya?" Scotty asked.

"This is William Shatner aka me," Kirk said, "Leonard-"

"Just call him Nimoy!" McCoy growled.

"Nimoy aka Spock, George Takei aka Sulu, Walter Koenig aka Chekov, and Nichelle Nichols aka Uhura." Kirk finished.

"Where's Dr. McCoy and me?" Scotty asked.

"DeForest Kelley and James Doohan passed away." Nichols said.

"I'm dead?" Scotty said.

"Happens to the best of us." McCoy replied.

All of them walked to the Engineering Room, with Scotty eagerly conducting the way. "And this is where the impulse power is generated." Scotty said. "Boys, turn off da matter-antimatter chamber. Ya will be able to go inside it in a few moments." He opened the door. "Ya see, it's generated by-"

"Mr. Scott," Spock said, "Perhaps it would be best if you did not tell people of the past about mechanisms of the future."

"Well, I thought they already knew and I was just showing em." Scotty replied.

"It's alright." Koenig said. "Can we go inside now?" Scotty nodded.

"It's the exact same as the chamber in Star Trek II." Takei wondered. Spock raised an eyebrow. All of them went inside except Shatner. He glanced at the console. The truth hit him faster than he could imagine.

"All of this really is real. All this technology..." He glanced at the matter-antimatter chamber. Nimoy was leaning against the glass, soaking it all in. He glanced at Shatner.

"Jim." he whispered. Kirk turned around, but Nimoy was looking at William. "Ship...out of danger?"

Shatner laughed. "Yes."

"Don't grieve, Admiral." Nimoy said.

"I become an Admiral?" Kirk asked.

"It is logical." Nimoy continued. "The needs of the many..."

"Outweigh the needs of the few..."

"Or the one." Nimoy replied. "Let's just skip to the good part."

"Let's."

"I have been and always shall be your friend." Nimoy whispered. He put his hand in the Vulcan salute and placed it against the glass. "Live long and prosper."

Shatner tried to do the same. "Dammit, I still can't do that Vulcan salute!"

"Onto sickbay." McCoy said. "I wonder if that DeForest Kelley did as infamous a physical as I do."

What will be the results of McCoy's infamous physical? Why is the Enterprise in the past, anyway? And will the trip to the past be as easy as planned? Find out...in the next chappie!