Chappie Three: It's always their fault!
The cast of Star Trek went to sickbay. McCoy pulled each of the actors one by one into his office. Shatner was first. "So, I'll finally get a real physical from you." William said. "Just great."
"It is." McCoy replied. "Anyway, this is a-"
"Scanner." Shatner finished. "De made one of those out of a salt shaker."
"He must have been a damn good inventor then." McCoy replied. "Hold still." He scanned Shatner. "Hm...interesting."
"What?"
"You're in fine health."
"That's interesting?"
"I thought medieval humans were either starving themselves or engorging themselves." McCoy answered. "But aside from a few minor problems, you are fine. Bring in Sulu...or Takei or whatever his name is."
"That's it?"
"Jim ordered for it to be quick. Maybe if we get the chance I'll give you a full physical."
"No thanks." Shatner quickly left.
"Well? How was it?" Takei asked.
William thought back to his Star Trek days. "'Gonna crack my knuckles and jump for joy, I got a clean bill of health from Dr. McCoy!'" They laughed. McCoy poked his head out.
"Stop quoting that Adam kid and get in here!" he snapped.
The laughter died down instantly. "That vas a real trip you made?" Koenig asked.
"Yes." McCoy answered. "Why are you getting your accent back?"
"Spending time vith my younger self...or a copy of my younger self has brought it back." Koenig replied.
"Great. Another Russian accent to give me a migraine." McCoy muttered. "Takei, get in here!" He tentatively walked in.
"We really portrayed real Enterprise adventures?" Nichols asked.
"I guess so." Nimoy replied. Silence. Takei walked out.
"Everything is normal." he said.
"Dr. McCoy?" Koenig asked. "Have you ever encountered a creature that needs salt to surwive?"
"The salt vampire." Takei added.
"And it was disguised as your former girlfriend, Nancy Crater?" Nichols said.
"The M-113 creature. Yeah, I've seen it." McCoy replied.
"And has Spock ever lost his brain?" Nimoy asked.
"Yeah, and I got to put it back in. After a few arguments with Spock, I sorta regretted it." McCoy joked.
"All of our episodes were real." Nimoy whispered. "How? Did Gene...this is impossible!"
"But it's happening." Takei said.
"Nichols, you're next." McCoy snapped. She walked in.
"How is everyone?" Uhura asked, walking into sickbay, carrying a tray of food. "Want something to eat?"
"Future food!" Takei said happily.
"Any colored cubes?" Nimoy asked.
"I tried to keep the food in your era." Uhura said, pulling out some sandwiches. "But I brought some tranya."
"That was grapefruit juice." Shatner said, taking a glass. "Hm. Tastes like grapefruit."
"What is grapefruit?" Uhura asked.
"Never mind."
"Nimoy, come in here!" McCoy growled. The actor obeyed as Nichols walked out.
"Thank you, Uhura." Nichols said, grinning at her counterpart.
"My pleasure, and please, call me Nyota." Uhura replied.
Shatner stared at her. "So that's your first name? I never knew that!"
Kirk and Spock walked in. "Hello everyone." Kirk said, frowning slightly. "The doctor done?"
"He's still got Walter to examine." Shatner replied.
"Hope he hasn't been torturing you." Kirk said.
"Actually, it vas better than expected." Koenig said.
"Hm. Wish I could get that treatment." Kirk muttered. "Anyway, who created this show...Star Trek?"
"Gene Roddenberry." Nimoy answered, walking out of the office.
"Alright, Koenig, come in here." McCoy snapped.
"I've never heard of this 'Gene Roddenberry'." Kirk said.
"You haven't? He's famous!" Nichols replied.
"Fame, Ms. Nichols, is very fleeting to most." Spock replied. "A stone lasts 300 years. Popularity lasts 30 minutes."
"15 minutes of fame." Takei added.
"How did Roddenberry learn all about us?" Kirk asked.
"I don't know." Shatner replied. "I never knew any of this was real- I never thought to ask."
"Is he still alive?" Spock asked.
Takei shook his head.
"Pity." Kirk muttered.
"I have a question." Nimoy said.
"Yes, Leonard?" Kirk asked.
"Dammit, I'm Leonard!" McCoy snapped, walking out of the office with Koenig behind him. "He's Nimoy!"
"I was wondering," Nimoy began, ignoring McCoy, "how you got into the past anyway."
"Good question." Kirk said. "We were travelling around Earth to beam down to San Francisco for some shore leave. Then...well...something began to pull us."
"A tractor beam?" Koenig asked.
"Affirmative." Spock replied.
"We kept getting pulled toward the sun by some unseen vessel." Kirk continued. "We were worried that it was going to pull into the sun, but instead we were forced into the slingshot effect. We travelled to Earth, hoping it hadn't launched us back too far..."
"Wait. How did a tractor beam get enough energy to pull you back in time?" Shatner asked.
"It would take an estimate of 200.234 gigawatts to pull the Enterprise to 2007." Spock said.
"But that's an estimate." McCoy growled.
"Yes, Doctor."
McCoy sighed. "We can argue about your warped sense of mathematics later, let Jim continue." he said.
"The Enterprise travelled to Earth," Kirk continued, "we listened to some radio frequencies. My name showed up. It was you, Will, saying that I was the next contestant. We didn't exactly know what you meant, but I decided that it must have been you or some other being on this primitive Earth that pulled us back in time. So we beamed down."
"But no one could have pulled you back here." Nichols said. "It's impossible! At least for the time being."
"That's the problem." Kirk replied. "Who did this?"
"We've got another situation too, Jim." McCoy said. "I sort of lied to you all about your physicals."
"What?" the cast members exclaimed. "Why?"
"Well, I didn't know how to tell you." McCoy said. "You're in fine health, which was surprising. I once read a survey that all of the past humans of Earth in this era were overweight because they ate at this restaurant...McDouglas."
"McDonalds." Takei corrected.
"Whatever." McCoy growled. "Anyway, the point is that you are in fine health. That's not the situation. The situation is that...all of you have the same DNA."
"Do we look like twins?" Takei joked, pointing to himself and Koenig.
"Not you two. Between yourselves and the people you portrayed." McCoy said. "William Shatner registered as Captain Kirk on my scanner. Older, of course, a bit more overweight...but still James Kirk. Koenig showed up as Chekov, Nichols was Uhura, and Takei should be Sulu! The only difference was Nimoy and Spock. Obviously, Nimoy's no Vulcan. But you two are so close in DNA you could have had the same mothers. It's damn perplexing!"
"It's perplexing," Kirk admitted. "But it's not a problem. The problem is: who pulled us back to Earth?"
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Chekov and Sulu were at their stations. "Is that really what we're going to look like when we're older?" Sulu asked Chekov about their counterparts.
"Maybe if ve diet or something ve vill look different." Chekov said.
"I wonder if we're famous. Really famous." Sulu said.
"Let's find out." Chekov put the news channel on the screen.
"Hey, that's us!" Sulu said.
"That's all of the actors." Chekov corrected. "Vhat's going on?"
"Star Trekked out of this World." the announcer said. "I'm Carlotta Richards and I'm reporting on the top story.
"It began when William Shatner, who played Captain Kirk on the TV series Star Trek and current host of Show me the Money mysteriously disappeared. He was hosting his new show when a 'beaming' occurred. The exact replicas of William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley when they were younger beamed down." Footage played of the incident. "William Shatner spoke with these people, who believed they really were Captain Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy. The 'Kirk' whispered something, there was a 'beaming' and William Shatner disappeared.
"A few minutes later, a paparazzi tape shows Leonard Nimoy talking on his phone on his porch." Footage showed an exasperated and tired Nimoy speaking. "There was another 'beaming' and Nimoy disappeared.
"Walter Koenig, George Takei, and Nichelle Nichols all were reported missing by their close friends and spouses. One gardener reports seeing Mr. Takei 'beaming up'. Everyone missing shares one common factor: each of them played an important role in the TV series Star Trek." Footage showed the young actors portraying the bridge members.
"They really look like us!" Sulu exclaimed.
"Ve could have been clones of each other." Chekov agreed.
"If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of any of these people, please call 1-800-STAR-TREK."
"We should call." Sulu joked.
"Yeah." Chekov agreed. "Tell them they're on the Enterprise. That vould be a shocker."
"No kidding." Sulu laughed.
"This just in." Carlotta exclaimed. "Photos of an UFO taken by NASA."
Sulu gasped. "It can't be us. We're too far up...aren't we?"
"In the exosphere." Chekov said. "Avay from any satellites."
"Then what are they getting a picture of?" Sulu wondered.
The photo appeared. "Oh shit." Chekov muttered.
"Bridge to Captain Kirk. Come in, this is urgent!" Sulu exclaimed.
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"What is it, Mr. Sulu?" Kirk asked in sickbay.
"Pictures." Sulu whispered. "Sharp, clear pictures."
"Of vhat?" Koenig asked.
"Klingon bird-of-prey." Sulu answered. He put it on the screen.
"Dammit." McCoy muttered. "Look at the size of that. It's enormous!"
"Scotty?" Kirk asked, punching a button. "I'm showing you a Klingon ship in space. Right now. Would it be powerful enough to pull us into the past?"
"Aye, Cap'n." Scotty replied. "I've never seen a Klingon ship that big. Must have ten engines to operate it."
"Well of course." McCoy snapped. "You can't estimate how many people it's got, or how much even the size of it. But when it comes to how many engines, you know it off the top of your head!"
"The Klingon ship would be 6.34 times the size of the Enterprise." Spock added.
"Another estimate, Spock?"
"Indeed, Doctor."
"So it's been the Klingons doing this." Kirk muttered.
"I'm not really surprised." Nichols said.
"Yeah." Uhura answered. "It's always the Klingons or the Romulans...it's always their fault!"
"Why would they do this?" Shatner asked. "Why waste time and power building a ship large enough to pull the Enterprise into the past? What's their motive?"
"Something sinister, no doubt." Nimoy added. "It's a wonder the Klingons joined the Federation..."
"The Klingons join the Federation!" Kirk yelled. "It's an outrage! As long as I've got a say in Starfleet that won't be happening!"
"Vell, the whole 'stealing the Enterprise' damaged your reputation a bit, Keptain." Koenig said.
"What?"
"Never mind." Takei intervened. "Just...what are we going to do?"
What are they going to do? What is the Klingon's plot? And is their significance in the fact that the actors and the bridge member's DNA is the same? Find out...in the next chappie!