self escapism

Lord Vader rose early the next morning, though the windows in his quarters failed to admit the dusky morning light he was used to on Coruscant. As much as he loved piloting any ship or speeder of any size, he despised living on one. He would much rather suffer through the scorching days on arid Tatooine with its twin suns than live in the deep cold quiet of space.

He dressed quickly in a simple dark blue tunic and brown leggings. Thoughtlessly he eased a pair of soft brown leather boots on & then ran his fingers through his shoulder length curls as he left his bedroom. Early mornings were the only time he could leave his quarters without being completely covered in his suffocating black guise. Most of the crew would still be asleep, and those who were awake would be busy working far away from his destination. The chance he would encounter someone in the halls was slim due to his ability to extend the force around as a warning device should anyone come along. On the chance that he ran into someone, he could always use a simple suggestion-a mind trick, to manipulate his or her mind to not remember or recognize his face.

Leaving his rooms, he quietly padded down the hallway towards the lift that would take him to the library and observatory on the top floor of the star ship. The empty lift sped him to the top, and signaling the end of the short trip with a tiny beep, the doors slid open. While keeping his continuing search with the force for anyone's approach, he thought over his plans for the day. He stepped through the doors of the library and was relieved to not sense anyone in the room. Aimlessly he wandered around the vast stacks of data pads and even a few real books, no real direction in mind. He would need to meet with his master this morning. Luckily, Palpatine would be joining him in his chambers, so he wouldn't need to wear the dreaded mask. As for the rest of the day, it would be taken at his leisure.

Rounding a corner, he left the stacks and drifted into the dark observatory. He strolled to the center of the room and looked up through the reinforced glass ceiling at the stars surrounding him. The observatory was located in the forward-most part of the ship, all the way at the top, and was constructed of a revolutionary type of glass that was stronger than dura-steel. The whole room was nothing but windows, & it was here that Vader would come when he was off world and needed to contemplate something. It gave him a sense of peace to see the never-ending expanse of black space, glowing from the lights of an infinite number of stars. Looking off into the darkness he was reminded of the power of the force, and the great gift he had in his ability to use and manipulate it.

As Lord Vader stood taking in the darkness, he felt something move behind him. He had not been warned by the force of another presence, and he turned quickly- his hand instinctively going to the handle of his lightsaber, ready to confront anything.

Or at least he thought anything.

Standing still in the doorway to the conservatory was a slight figure that was hard to make out in the dark. A solemn, feminine voice came from the figure as it backed out of the room. "I'm sorry sir, I didn't expect anyone else to be here, I'll be on my way."

It only took a second for Vader to realize that this voice belonged to the young woman who had caused him much distraction the previous day. He wondered why the force had not warned her of her presence. As she informed him that she would leave, he once again probed her with the force, and was once more taken aback by what he found.

He sensed at once her disappointment that someone else was in the observatory, and then sensed deeper. He felt her utter indifference to everything, but not outs of spite, out of some sort of necessity. He could feel the loneliness that she had tucked back into the deepest recesses of her spirit. He realized that her complete emptiness the day before was not due to the fact that she had no feelings, but rather that she refused to use them. She was not devoid of a soul, she was just genuinely empty. In better words, she was not one to give any of herself- or any part of herself- away. He felt tinge of sadness for her, but only for a moment.

Lord Vader watched her turn and walk away when suddenly unbidden words left his mouth, "No, please, do not mind me, stay."

The girl stopped and looked back at him over her shoulder. With the only light being that which came from the stars outside, the man in front of her seemed to eerily glow, framed by the massive windows. Cautiously, she turned and edged closer. As he came more into focus the closer she got, she was taken aback by the young man before her.

Tall… well-built… beautiful shoulder length golden hair that seemed to be barely tamed due to its curl. It was the flash of blue from his eyes that eventually stopped her. Aurren Farr was a young woman who prided herself on her great ability to appreciate beauty. The man that stood before her was most certainly a work of art.

Without her saying a single word, the young lord felt her uneasiness spreading out in waves. She had gotten a good look at him and not seemed shocked or as if she had seen a ghost. She did not recognize the face of Anakin Skywalker, and he was pleased. This meant that he could spend a few moments possibly trying to figure out the girl without her being aware that she was in the same room as Darth Vader.

Aurren walked past him cautiously and stopped a few feet from the windows, looking silently out.

He followed the girl, stopping just behind her, his eyes wandering down her body in the dim light. He noticed that she was not in the boring gray crew uniform, but wore something he decided suited her much better as it failed to hide any of her curves.

As he stood there silently, he was shocked to realize that she was so… small. She had a thin, trim but curvy figure. Her hair hung loosely to the middle of her back over the thin white tunic she wore. Her legs were clad in tight, dark blue leggings met by very warm brown boots that rose to her knees. Slung about her hips was a black belt that held a small military issue blaster and 2 communication devices. He followed the line the belt made across her backside, and took a moment to appreciate the view with a smile.

A wave of apprehension washed over Vader. Was he nervous about being around this girl? What!. This was just another of those unnecessary emotions. As if day turned into night, his mood drastically changed as an unknown frustration began to boil his blood.

Reaching out in front of him, he roughly grabbed the girls shoulder and turned her around. He was met by those large black eyes, and he felt the fear that washed over her from his sudden attack. He looked directly into those deep black eyes and said "you did not encounter anyone this morning in the observatory. You never saw me."

As if in a daze, she slowly repeated after him, "I did not encounter anyone this morning in the observatory."

It took a great deal of concentration to get his mental suggestion across to her, she was a particularly strong willed girl. He almost felt sorry for his manipulation, but then decided it was for the best.

"You will return to your quarters now," he said, and she repeated, "I will return to my quarters now."

Slowly, as confusion spread across her face, Aurren left the room.

Upon returning to her quarters, Aurren snapped out of the daze she was in. She looked behind her as she got the strange feeling someone was watching. She was well aware that she had just gone to the observatory as she always did when she woke early in the morning and could not sleep. What she didn't know was why she had returned to her rooms. It was as if it had completely slipped her mind.

'I must be loosing it,' she thought, flopping limply into an armchair. In her mind, she retraced her steps. There seemed to be a blank spot spanning from the moment she entered the observatory to when she finally reached her quarters. A voice in the back of her head whispered that she had gone to the observatory, and not seen anyone, then returned to her quarters. It didn't seem right. Closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the side of the chair, she tried to shake it off. Sure, she might have forgotten what she was doing, but it wasn't as if it were important. Behind her lids, Aurren pictured the dramatic view of space the observatory gave. She focused on 2 distant stars that seemed to be glowing blue. Without a warning, the stars were replaced with a pair of chilling, ice blue eyes.

Snapping her eyes open, Aurren sat still for a moment then broke out in a fit of laughter. 'I have got to get more sleep!' she thought then rose and made her way to the fresher to prepare herself for the day.

In the observatory, Darth Vader stood staring blindly at the floor. In the dark swirling mess that was his mind, he tried to convince himself that the only reason he had acted the way he had was because of his not so recent lack of interest in not just physical pursuits with women, but women in general. He had grown to hate the gender, no matter what species they were. The ones he was constantly surrounded with were either all looks and no brains, or dowdy, boring servants and crewmembers. It had been a long, long time since he had met a woman who possessed a kind of fire inside, or a woman who's intellect matched her beauty, or even one he could simply hold a decent conversation with. Women were inferior.

Women infuriated him.

No, Aurren Farr infuriated him.

He had been way too content during his long dry stretch in which he had sworn off all women. He had been good at it. This woman had somehow slipped through the cracks. So it only made sense to him that his reaction to her was simply his body reminding him that he was a man, and not because there was any part of her that actually deserved his attention.

'Yes, that's it' he thought. 'As if I am going to let my body dictate my actions…'

He withdrew from the observatory and glanced at the large chrono on the library wall. He had spent more time here than he intended to. He could feel the ship beginning to stir.

Making his way quickly back to his quarters, Vader's thoughts lingered once more on what had happened in the observatory. With a snort, he thought, 'I would rather loose my other arm before I touched another stupid woman.'

ive got a few more chapters ready to go... i mostly just write for myself & decided to post this on here for fun since i read everyones elses fics so often- figured i'd contribute. it's not done yet, & at the moment im contemplating making it into a Vader redemtion story, even though that wasnt my initial intent. id appreciate any thoughts anyone might have about where you think the story seems to be going.

the rating of this fic will increase to M in future chapters. & again, some concrit would be cool.