Disclaimer: All characters and things from ANGEL and BUFFY belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. If they aren't on the show they belong to me.
Summary: Angel and Spike get a chance to get back the people that meant the most to them after the battle against Wolfram and Hart. But can they keep the real past a secret from the only people they want to share it with? A/C S/B
CHAPTER 5
Angel pulled up to Cordelia's house and took a deep breath before getting out of his car. He was nervous, and he found that awkward. He had known Cordelia over eight years, and yet he still felt like a teenager on a first date. His palms were even a bit sweaty. He attributed his nerves to the fact that Cordelia did not remember knowing Angel for eight years. She did not remember anything about L.A. or life in Sunnydale the first time around. And most of all, Cordelia had no idea that Angel was completely in love with her.
Angel got out of his car after a minute and approached Cordelia's front door, knocking twice. After a moment, Cordelia answered the door, with the baby doll in her arms.
"Hey." Cordelia gave Angel her 100-watt smile. "Come on in." She moved aside and allowed Angel to enter her house.
"Thanks." Angel said, digging his hands deep into his pockets, and looking around Cordelia's house. It was gorgeous. Everything was in its place, and looked so expensive. It was like a house right out of a magazine.
"Alright. So let's get started. We can go into the kitchen. The maid cooked us up some dinner before she left for the night." Cordelia said as she led Angel deeper into her house.
"Sounds great." Angel couldn't help but smile as he followed Cordelia. He loved everything about her and he loved that he would get to spend the majority of his night with her.
Spike shuffled into the library behind Buffy, who was swinging the baby doll around by its arm. They hadn't said anything to one another the entire walk to the library but Spike was okay with that. He just missed being in her company, even if they said nothing.
When they entered the library, Giles popped his head up from behind the counter. "Buffy, good to see you…and Spike?"
Buffy looked at Spike, and then back at Giles. "He had to come. School project." She held up the doll, which started crying. "Oh shut up." She told the doll.
"What is that exactly?" Giles looked at the doll.
"I told you. School project." Buffy said, as she swung the doll at Spike. "Me and Spike have to pretend to be a family."
Spike nodded, not sure what to do with the doll either, so he patted it on the back a few times before placing it on the table and allowing it to continue to cry.
"Does it have a button to shut it off?" Giles asked, covering his ears as the doll continued to scream.
"Not sure!" Spike yelled over the screaming doll.
Suddenly, the doll stopped screaming.
"Finally!" Buffy said, pushing the hair out of her face. She then turned to Spike; still unaware of the fact that he knew she was the Slayer. "Spike, why don't you go grab dinner while I…study with Giles?"
"By studying, do you mean train?" Spike said, a small grin dancing on his lips.
Buffy stared at him, blankly. "How did you know?"
"You told him." Giles told her.
Buffy turned to her watcher. "No I did not. I told Angel…" She looked back at Spike. "Angel told you?"
Spike just smiled at her, knowing that if she thought Angel had told him, then she would be mad at Angel, and that might give him a chance to win her heart. All Spike wanted was that chance.
Cordelia placed the pasta her maid had cooked for her and Angel on the table, while their baby doll sat in a baby seat on the counter. Angel quickly moved to help her gather the rest of the things, but Cordelia just shook her head at him.
"Sit." Cordelia pointed to the chair at one end of the table. "I'll get everything."
Angel shook his head. "No, I can help." He didn't mind, in fact he had always enjoyed helping Cordelia do anything, usually because it was a rare occasion when she would ask for help.
"You're the guest, I got it." Cordelia said, placing a soda can down in front of Angel, before taking a seat across from him.
Angel took a bite of his pasta, his taste buds lighting up. He hadn't had pasta he could taste in over 200 years, and this pasta was good. "This is great, Cordy."
"Thanks. I'll tell the maid." Cordelia joked, forking at her own dish.
There was a moment of awkward silence, and then the baby doll started screaming its lungs out. The cries startled Angel who practically threw his fork up in the air.
Cordelia giggled slightly at Angel, blaring her infamous smile before moving to the doll, and picking it up, rocking it gently like she had with Connor in her past that she could not remember.
"So it really does cry." Angel said, pointing to the baby doll that was slowly growing silent.
Cordelia nodded. "It did this twice at my cheerleading practice."
"That sucks." Angel made a face. "If you want me to take it with me tomorrow…"
"Yeah right!" Cordelia laughed as she set the now quiet doll down. "Your coach would love that."
"Well, it's a project for school." Angel told her. "And Xander brought his doll to practice."
"And threw it in a locker, I am sure." Cordelia said.
Angel nodded, Cordelia was right. She was always right. She seemed to know people so well. "Still…"
"Don't worry about it." Cordelia assured him, motioning to the doll. "Charlie is pretty good most of the time."
Angel just smiled when Cordelia said the dolls name. "So we should get this project going before Charlie wakes up again."
Cordelia nodded, picking up the plates and moving them to the sink before Angel could help her. "Yeah, all the stuff we got in class is up in my room." She turned to pick up the doll, and then moved to the door, looking back when Angel hadn't followed her. "Are you coming?"
Angel's eyes grew wide, and he swallowed hard. "Up…up to your room?" It wasn't like he hadn't ever been in Cordelia's bedroom in L.A., but that was different. That was when they were best friends and had a history together. Things were different now. She didn't remember him, or L.A. or the friendship they had or the fact that they had loved each other; he was sure of that much, they had definitely loved one another.
"Yeah." Cordelia seemed to laugh slightly at the expression of shock and confusion that was flying across Angel's face. "Don't look so scared. I promise I won't tell Buffy if that's what you're worried about." She laughed again. "It's not like you're going to try anything with me anyway. Like Xander said, you have Buffy." Cordelia then made her way out of the kitchen forcing Angel to follow her.
As Angel made his way up the stairs behind Cordelia, she had no idea how much he wanted to try something, anything with her. He just wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much he had missed her. Buffy was the last thing on his mind.
Buffy stood across from Spike, her arms folded across her chest as she waited for the blonde ex-vampire to explain how he knew she trained in the library. She was unsure if Spike knew she was the actual Slayer, she didn't think Angel would be stupid enough to tell Spike that much, but then again she couldn't be sure.
"So Angel told you I train in here?" Buffy egged Spike on.
Spike nodded, technically Angel hadn't told Spike anything, he had just known from his past, but that wasn't really important. "Yeah, he did. It makes sense though, you being the Slayer and all."
Buffy's eyes grew wide. "You know I am the Slayer?" She was stunned Angel had told Spike that.
Spike nodded again. "Yeah. Not that it's a big deal, since vampires don't exist anymore anyway, right Giles?"
Giles nodded. "That's correct."
"And none of this information bothers you?" Buffy looked at Spike curiously.
Spike shook his head. It probably would have bothered him if he had been a normal human in the normal world that now existed, but he wasn't. He remembered his past as a vampire, and he remembered a world filled with demons and evil. "Not at all."
Buffy stood, looking at Spike in a new light. She could not believe how calm he was with all that had been thrown at him. "Really?"
"Should it bother me?" Spike asked.
Buffy shrugged. "It usually takes people some getting used to. I mean, I remember when I told Angel. He freaked."
"That's why no one but you and I are supposed to know." Giles butted in, raising an eyebrow at Buffy.
"Angel freaked out?" Spike was suddenly interested. He couldn't imagine Angel freaking out, but then he remembered that Buffy had told the Angel that had no recollection of his past, now that he did, Spike was sure Angel would have not lost his cool.
"He totally freaked." Buffy told Spike, sitting on the counter next to the baby doll. She suddenly found a new respect for Spike and had the urge to talk to him. "I had to show him books and everything. He couldn't grasp the concept of vampires having been real at one point."
"Well, that's understandable." Spike said. For some unknown reason he felt the need to defend Angel's reaction, even if Angel wasn't even the real one to express those reactions. "But Angel has changed quite a lot in the past few days." If anyone knew that much it was Spike. Both he and Angel had been thrown in this familiar and yet foreign reality less then 72 hours prior.
"You seem comfortable with it all." Buffy told Spike, smiling slightly at him.
Spike nodded, smiling, feeling that he was finally making a connection with Buffy. "Well not much seems to bloody scare me anymore." And then Spike found himself jumping ten feet in the air as the doll began crying again. The cries had scared the crap out of him.
Angel followed Cordelia into her bedroom, and quickly looked around. It was very different from her bedroom back in L.A. That bedroom was one of a woman in her twenties who had seen more horror in the world then most people had ever seen in a lifetime. This bedroom was one of a high school girl whose head was still full of dreams and hope.
Cordelia's bed sat in the middle of the room, with a pink and white comforter on it, and a stuffed teddy bear sitting in the middle of it. Her walls were decorated with cheerleading trophies and medals. Pictures were everywhere, mostly of her and Xander, although there were a few of her, Buffy, and Willow, on her dresser, nightstand, and a few hanging on the walls as well.
Angel dug his hands deep in his pockets, as he looked at all the pictures Cordelia had. He found that he was not in one of them and could not help the feeling of hurt that pounded in his heart. "Nice pictures." He concluded.
"Thanks." Cordelia smiled at him before placing the baby doll on the bed, and moving to her desk in the corner were she picked up the stack of papers she and Angel had been given in class. She laid the papers down next to the doll and sat down on the bed. "Ready to get this project started?"
Angel nodded, looking around for somewhere to sit. He spotted the chair at Cordelia's desk and pulled it up next to the bed. "Ready."
Cordelia just smiled at Angel's actions. "You know, either you are head over heels in love with Buffy or just a complete gentleman."
Angel smiled back at Cordelia. "Why would you say that?"
"Not too many guys wouldn't jump at any chance to get on a bed with any girl who invited them into her room. Even if it was for a school project." Cordelia said as she sorted out the papers in her hand. "So either you're really in love or you are really just a nice guy." She looked back up at him.
"I'm just a nice guy. Trust me." Angel caught her eyes, and felt a connection with Cordelia.
Cordelia seemed to feel it to, because Angel saw her shiver slightly before shaking her head and smiling softly at him. "We should really get to work." She handed him half the pile of papers. "You sort out how much money we have, and I will figure out what our monthly expenses are."
Angel nodded, as he watched Cordelia quickly look down at the papers in her hand, grabbing a highlighter from her nightstand she feverishly ran it across the paper, as if she was afraid to stop, afraid to look up and see Angel, like she knew he held some part of her past that she could not quite remember.
Spike sat at the main table in the library, going over the paperwork from health class while the baby doll sat silently on the desk. He was trying to concentrate on the project, but he was finding it difficult. His eyes kept drifting up to watch Buffy boxing it out with a punching bag. He liked watching her because he could feel like, for just one moment, he was with the Buffy who remembered him, the Buffy who had said she loved him. He smiled to himself as he watched her move the punching bag with her fists. She was a little slower then he remembered, but her fighting style had not changed. He assumed her lack of speed was because she had never actually fought a vampire, and more then likely never would.
Giles came out of his office, and watched Spike for a moment before taking a seat next to the ex-vampire.
"Taking a break?" Giles asked.
Spike was startled for a moment by the librarian, and turned quickly to see Giles. "I…sorry, what did you say?"
"You don't seem to be studying very much." Giles pointed to the papers in front of Spike.
"Right. That. I can't bloody concentrate anymore." Spike spoke the truth. He couldn't concentrate; the only thing on his mind was Buffy. "I'll just wait until Buffy is finished and we can work on it together."
"I see…" Giles nodded his head, but seemed to be hiding what he really wanted to say. Spike could tell.
"What?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
Giles looked over at Spike, surprised that the young Englishman could see he was keeping something from him. "Just a word of advice, young man." Giles leaned over toward Spike so Buffy could not hear him. "It's a dangerous game to play when you go after your best friends girl."
Spike pulled away from Giles, studying the librarians face. "What the hell do you mean?"
Giles motioned over to Buffy, but kept his voice low. "I've been watching you with her for over three hours now. Its evident you have feelings for her. But remember, she is your best friends girlfriend. I wouldn't think you'd want to make a mess of that."
Spike seemed to think for a moment. "You mean because she is with Angel."
Giles nodded. "That's precisely what I mean. Liam seems fond of her, and she seems to care for him. Is that something you would really want to take a chance with?"
Spike gave Giles a sly grin. "Trust me. I'm more then willing to take that chance."
Just then Buffy turned to Spike and Giles. "What chance?" She asked, out of breath.
"Nothing." Spike said quickly. "We should really start this project. Are you done training?"
Buffy nodded. "Yeah, but forget the project. We can just start it tomorrow. I'm to tired to do it now anyway."
Spike gave a small smile. Buffy always had a way of pushing things to the last minute. "Sure." He stood, grabbing the baby doll by the foot and tossing it to Buffy who caught it in one hand. "Do you want me to walk you home?"
"Do you mind? Seeing how Angel is busy working on his project with Cordelia." Buffy rolled her eyes. "I doubt he is going to come and get me."
"Alright then. Let's go." Spike said as he shook Giles hand and then lead Buffy out of the library and towards the street that he knew led to her house. He didn't want to have to say goodnight to her so soon, but he was confident he would get another chance to be with her tomorrow.
Angel jumped up from his chair as the baby doll's screams filled the room. He focused his eyes and realized he was still in Cordelia's room. He looked over to the bed to see that she was holding the baby doll. He shook his head, realizing he must have fallen asleep.
The doll continued to cry and Cordelia looked up at Angel. "What should I do?"
"Maybe it's hungry. It's got a fake bottle, right?" Angel suggested.
Cordelia nodded, quickly climbing off of her bed and making her way over to her book bag, where she pulled out a fake baby bottle and stuck it in the dolls mouth. The doll immediately went silent.
Cordelia looked up at Angel, a tired smile on her lips. "Charlie has some set of lungs."
Angel nodded in agreement. "That he does." He stretched out in his chair. "What time is it?"
Cordelia looked over at the clock on her nightstand. "2:30 AM."
"Damn." Angel stood. "I must have fallen asleep."
"I think we both did." Cordelia yawned.
Angel nodded. "I should head home."
"Don't." Cordelia said. "You're too tired to drive, and you live all the way across town."
Angel smiled at Cordelia's concern. "I'll be fine."
"I'll worry all night." Cordelia told him. "Just stay here. You spent half the night here as it is."
Angel thought for a moment. He loved the idea of spending the night at Cordelia's, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable. "Are you sure?"
Cordelia nodded. "Sure am." She patted the bed next to her. "Come over here."
Angel reluctantly sat down on the bed next to Cordelia.
Cordelia could tell he was unsure of what he was doing. "Relax. You're a gentleman, remember?" She lay down. "So we are just going to sleep."
Angel nodded and lay down next to her, and time seemed to stop. Everything was perfect. This was where he belonged, next to Cordelia.
Cordelia moved the baby doll between them, still feeding the doll its bottle. After a moment of silence, Cordelia spoke up. "This is weird."
Angel's eyes immediately flew open. "Do you want me to leave?"
Cordelia giggled at him, picking her head up. "No. Not that."
"Then what?"
"I don't know. You'll think I am crazy if I tell you."
Angel sat up. "No, I won't. Trust me."
"It's just…I don't know." Cordelia shrugged. "I feel like I've done this before with you."
"What? Lay in bed?" Angel asked.
"Well, yeah…and with a baby between us." Cordelia laughed at her own words. "I told you it sounded crazy." She put her head back down. "Goodnight, Angel."
But Angel said nothing as he also lay back down. What Cordelia had said did not sound crazy. It sounded like her past. It sounded like the many times he crawled up next to her in bed while Connor lay between them, either drinking his bottle or sleeping. Angel could tell; somewhere in Cordelia's sub-consciousness she had memories of her real past, memories of a past with him in it.