She had just enough time to duck behind the corner before Gai came out the door she had just been in front of. Waiting until he was gone she came out from her hiding spot and wiped her face clean of emotion. Then marched up to the door, opening it in what she hoped was a casual manner. Ignoring what she'd just heard completely. It was probably nothing. Maybe she'd heard wrong, or it was her imagination. Whatever it was, it wasn't her business. Not anymore. She entered the room and saw Kakashi laying silently in his bed. She walked over and bent over him, trying to determine if he was faking or not. She was good at guessing by now. He'd faked sleep a thousand times when he didn't want to have sex, which now that she thought about it was more often then it should have been. The there was a flurry of movement behind her and Kakashi puffed into nothing. "That wasn't meant for you to hear, Kurenai."
"I don't know what-"
"I know you heard it. That's why I need you to promise me that you won't say a word. It never happened. Do you understand? I need you to promise me."
"How long?"
Kakashi sighed and walked around her to sit on the bed, "How long was what?"
"How long did you know you were..." Kurenai couldn't finish the sentence. So she took a breath and started again. "When did you realize you had no feelings for me?" She stood very straight and very still, not looking the Copy Ninja in the eyes. He combed a hand through his hair. This was obviously not very easy to talk about for him.
"I realized both the night I left." She flinched, there was a silence then she turned on her heels and walked swiftly to the door, "Kurenai!" She stopped but didn't turn to face him. "You didn't promise me."
"Whatever it is it is of no interest to me. I have no intention of telling anyone. But it does make a lot of things make sense. Everything except your taste in literature. Yeah. I promise not to say anything."
Kakashi let out a sigh of relief, "I never meant to hurt you, Kurenai. Never. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do. You're a comrade and a friend and I'm sorry I ever got you into this mess. Oh, and don't think I haven't seen the way you look at Asuma..." He grinned under his mask when she didn't reply. Instead she opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.
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Kakashi stood in the rain, staring up at the apartment he shared with Kurenai as the light began to dim from the approaching night. He sighed, they'd had another fight. This time it was about the brand of peanut butter, of all things! He'd bought Jiff and she wanted Skippy. Go figure. He stood there a minute longer and shrugged, Oh well, he thought bitterly, turning and walking off down the street, Fuck her then. I have better places I could be. He walked down through the streets of the Hidden Leaf Village. Cursing the world. Damn Kurenai, damn the apartment, damn this village, damn the cold, damn the night. He walked on even when he could no longer see where he was going in the mixture of darkness and rain. Before long he was soaked to the bone and unable to recognize his surroundings through the downpour. He fell to his knees exhausted and col, refusing to go any further until he figured out what had become of his life. His normal eye going in and out of focus, he became a little dizzy. Then suddenly he wasn't being pounded by the rain, some one stood next to him, they grabbed him, cradled him in their arms and walked on down the street an umbrella between their shoulder and Kakashi. He only heard a deep chuckle before passing out.
He woke up on a sleeping bag in front of a fireplace in a strange house, vaguely remembering how he got there. Or where his shirt and pants went. He remembered someone telling him to take them off and to crawl under the green comforter that covered him now as they left the room to give the exhausted ninja some privacy. Then he fell asleep under the warm blanket. He sat up, the comforter sliding off him and onto his lap, and looked around for a clock. He found one above the fireplace's mantle. And in the glow of the fire he saw it was past one in the morning. He sighed, wondering if Kurenai was worried. It didn't seem all that important at the moment but he had spent three years of his life with the woman after all. Then he heard footsteps from a hallway and in walked a tall muscular man with a bowl cut that was usually stuck to his head with way to much gel and two rather bushy eyebrows. Tonight however his hair seem damp from a recent shower or being out in the rain, and it was slicked back into a very small ponytail. He wore flannel pajama pants and carried two mugs of steaming coffee, "Well, Kakashi looks like I get that point back for being a bigger person. I could have left you passed out in the rain but I brought you in and showed you some hospitality." He handed him the mug and sat on the couch that was about five feet away. Gai had an odd look on his face and Kakashi was suddenly very aware that they were both shirtless and the only thing on under this comforter was a pair of embarrassingly short black boxers. "Now tell your old pal Gai how you managed to be out and about this gruesome night?"
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, still slightly damp from the rain, "Kurenai and I had a fight. Each one is stupider then the last. But this one." He then described the fight, the 'Nothing Fight' if you would, in detail including him stomping out of the apartment with Ramen broth and noodles in his hair. "I honestly don't know why I stay."
Gai shook his he, smiling knowingly, "That's obvious you've been with her so long it's easier to just stay and pretend everything's fine."
"But it isn't." Kakashi sighed again, "It hasn't been for a long time and I don't know why. I wish I did though. Then I could fix it. If I could change the one thing that's wrong with us everything would be fine. But I don't know what it is. Maybe it's not us, maybe there's something wrong with me..."
"You're just fine, Kakashi. If anyone's got something wrong with them it's Kurenai." Kakashi looked up and really LOOKED at Gai. What he'd said was so heartfelt, so tender, so genuine... It made his stomach flop inside him like a fish out of water. He internally begged Gai to shut his trap. Gai, please. Don't say that. I don't need this. Not tonight. But Gai went on. "I mean there are plenty of men in this world but there aren't anymore Kakashi running around, are there? Anyone who let's you go is blind or stupid or just plain lazy. And Kurenai can see just fine."
Kakashi looked at the window, "Still I should call her-"
"Did that." Gai grinned, "Asked me if you'd been hit by a bus. When I told her you were just a little wet and very exhausted she offered to pay me to run you over myself, which I politely declined." He did his signature 'good guy pose' and the silver haired man chuckled. Funny how Gai always knew how to do that. Make him laugh, that is. "You were never good at goodbyes." Neither were you, Kakashi thought sadly. It seemed like forever ago that he became a Shinobi. The day he and Gai were ripped apart. While Gai continued in the academy he went on dangerous missions. He was a prodigy, Gai was your average student. Gai had to work hard while he eased through everything. In the short time he and Gai had been at the academy, they'd become extremely close. Like brothers. Then to be torn apart so early, so early in their friendship. That rift between them had never fully healed. No matter how much they talked or hung out it was still there growing deeper everyday. Something between them was not the same as it had been at five and eight. Somewhere in between something else had happened. It pushed them farther apart and it left him hollow inside. Gai stretched and stood, "Well, your free to sleep here if you want. The couch is your's. But if you decide to go back to the ball and chain, the door's down the hall on the left. Your clothes are here on the table. But now I'm going to bed." And with that Kakashi watched him go, his heart sinking into his stomach at the sudden weight.
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Kakashi lay looking at the roof, unable to stop smiling. Gai was on his mind of course. Their talk of old times bring back the best and worst of memories. Course if they had Gai they weren't as bad as worst could be. He made everything easy, lighter. What could he say, he was head of heels for the man and it was their little secret. Four people in the wide world knew, and countless others must have guessed. Four being him, Gai, Kurenai and Rock. The last one found out in the most inconvenient time. He was about to climax damn it. Looking back now it was pretty damn funny. He took it pretty well. Gai was his mentor, any one who'd dress like that! Would follow them to the death. It use to be five. The Third knew. He'd known without being told, because he knew them. He knew them better than anyone because, well that was the man's job and he took it to the grave. But everyone else didn't know, they either rationalized it or chose to turn a blind eye. It wasn't exactly an expectable lifestyle. But he didn't care. He'd have stood on the tallest mountain and screamed it to the world… If it hadn't been for Kurenai. He couldn't tell her. And yelling from the mountain tops is a sure fire way for her to hear. Gai hadn't wanted his old students to know and they didn't but of course he got new ones. He sighed, sleep about to take hold, he let his thoughts of Gai wrap around him. They could lull him to sleep better than any lullaby.