Disclaimer: All characters and things from ANGEL and BUFFY belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. If they aren't on the show they belong to me.
Summary: Angel and Spike get a chance to get back the people that meant the most to them after the battle against Wolfram and Hart. But can they keep the real past a secret from the only people they want to share it with? A/C S/B
CHAPTER 21
Angel, Cordelia, and Lorne all looked at each other and then at Fred and Wesley who were still sitting at the counter, oblivious to the fact that they were being watched, and oblivious to the fact that the other three in the room were about to rock their foundations and everything they thought to be true. Angel, Cordelia, and Lorne were going to get back Fred and Wesley's memory.
"So, Wesley." Angel started. "Why don't you come help me and Lorne in the office with a few things?"
Lorne nodded, standing, realizing that Angel and himself were going to work on Wesley's memory while Cordelia worked on Fred's. "Yeah, we could use the help."
"Do you need help with something in particular?" Wesley asked.
"Just some translations and books." Angel said, knowing that no matter what Wesley remembered or didn't, the Englishman would always love a good translation.
"Sure." Wesley stood, smiling awkwardly at Fred and then Cordelia as he followed Angel and Lorne into Angel's old office.
Once Wesley was in the office, Angel stuck his head out, winking at Cordelia and then shutting the door behind him.
Cordelia took her cue from the closing of the door and casually made her way over to Fred. "So, Fred…"
Fred seemed to jump at Cordelia's voice and then smiled awkwardly. "Sorry, you scared me. I was reading." She motioned to the newspaper.
Cordelia smiled back, trying to hold back her own laugh. Fred had always been, and would always be a little offbeat, but that was what Cordelia thought was Fred's best quality. "Right. Reading…" Cordelia took a seat next to Fred. "Is that all you do?"
"What do you mean?" Fred asked.
"Well, Angel said you worked in a library…" Cordelia started. She figured the best way to crack Fred's memory was to get to know this new Fred a little better, although the new Fred seemed a lot like the Fred that Cordelia had called part of her family.
"Well, I enjoy books." Fred smiled.
Cordelia nodded. Yep, this Fred was a lot like the Fred Cordelia remembered. "Well, that's good."
"Do you…" Fred started.
"What, read?" Cordelia smiled.
"Yeah?" Fred seemed a little shy.
Cordelia's smile faded as she thought of the answer to Fred's question. The last time she had sat down and read anything was when Connor had been taken by Holtz and she had gone to keep Angel company in his room. Now, thinking back on it, she wasn't so sure she had gone to keep Angel company as much as she had gone to make sure he wasn't about to end his own life. That was when she had first begun to realize she could not fathom a life without him in it. Slowly, Angel and Connor had become her world, and she remembered that, as she read the book, she realized that she was as lost as Angel was over the kidnapping of his son. To be honest, she couldn't even remember what book she had read as she spent all those silent hours along side Angel.
"No." Cordelia answered Fred's question with a sad smile, as she looked down at her hands. "Not much."
Fred shrugged. "That's okay."
Awkward silence filled the lobby after that. Cordelia was too lost in her thoughts about Connor and Angel to remember what she was supposed to be doing. She was in no spirit to try and reawake Fred's memory at the current moment. In fact, thinking about baby Connor and Angel made Cordelia want to crawl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep. Those were the best days of her life and she hadn't even realized it when she was living them. She had been too worried about her visions and Groo. Now, all she wanted to do was go back, and live each moment to the fullest, and love Angel, and save Connor. All wishes Cordelia knew would never be granted for her.
Spike and Buffy swiftly made their way back into Angel's mansion. Once they were inside, Spike closed and locked the door behind them, motioning Buffy over to the couch. Buffy nodded, taking a seat while Spike stood, arms crossed in front of the couch.
"Alright, so spill. What the hell is going on?" Buffy asked. The fire was back in her eyes, Spike could see it.
"Hold you're bloody horses." Spike told her. He was trying to sort everything out and figure out the best way to explain things to the Slayer.
"For what?" Buffy asked. "I need answers, and you have them."
"Alright, alright." Spike said. "I was just trying to sort out my thoughts."
"Well, are you sorted?"
"Yeah."
"So start talking."
"Well…" Spike took a deep breath, squatting down in front of Buffy. "For starters, the world ended."
"What?" Buffy said, clearly unable to believe Spike.
"Well, our reality. The one that I burned up in and you moved to Italy in?" Spike reminded her.
"Yeah, I remember it." Buffy nodded. "What do you mean, it ended?"
"Well, you know Angel took over Wolfram and Hart right?" Spike asked.
"Yeah." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Can't say I agreed with that decision."
"Well, regardless of that." Spike sighed. "There are other things you need to know. Things Angel kept from you back then."
"Like what?"
"Like me."
"You?" Buffy raised an eyebrow.
Spike nodded. "Buffy I came back."
Buffy was silent for a moment, letting Spike's words settle in. "What?"
"I came back. That amulet that Angel gave you; it was connected to Wolfram and Hart. It brought me back." Spike said. "A ghost at first, then a vampire."
"You…you came back?" Buffy was still shocked.
"Yeah. I helped Angel when I could. Became part of his team, I guess." Spike sighed, shaking his head. "I thought it was a fight worth sticking around for." Spike looked up, catching Buffy's eye. "But I was wrong."
"I don't understand." Buffy shook her head. "You came back and no one told me?"
"I meant to. I did." Spike said honestly. "Just, things got crazy. I thought about going to you but then you were with the immortal…"
"Oh." Buffy looked down at her hands. "Yeah."
"Yeah." Spike nodded, sadly. "Anyway. Things got crazy around Wolfram and Hart once Cordelia died. Angel lost a part of himself that day, we could all tell."
Buffy looked up at the mention of Cordelia and Angel, and Spike looked away from the Slayer, chocking on his words. He knew a part of her heart still belonged to Angel.
"But…uh…Cordelia was brave. She didn't go out silently." Spike looked back at Buffy. "She left Angel with a gift, one final vision. She let him see the real evil in this world, and Angel wanted to fight it. We all did. So we went up against the Senior Partners and the Circle of the Black Throne."
"The Circle of what?" Buffy asked.
"A group of powerful demons." Spike told her. "We fought them and their army. We didn't stand a chance. We all died within minutes of the battle. From what I understand, after hell released its army no one could stop it. Not even you."
Buffy nodded her head slowly, she remembered. "I died. I remember."
Spike nodded.
"What happened after that?" Buffy asked. "How did we get here?"
"After we died, Angel and I, we met Darla…" Spike started.
"Darla? As in the vampire?" Buffy asked.
"She isn't a vampire anymore. She died, but anyway, she told us we got a second chance." Spike said.
"And you believed her?" Buffy asked. "She was evil."
"No. Not anymore." Spike said, unsure if Buffy knew of the existence of Connor.
"Why? Because she killed herself to safe her and Angel's love child?" Buffy snorted.
Spike nodded slowly, Buffy remembered Connor after all. "That's not bloody important. She told us this was our second chance, a new reality, a different path our reality could have taken if different choices had been made. A reality with no vampires, no demons, one where Angel and I were human; one where no one would remember their past, no one except Angel and I. That was our punishment. We had to live amongst you, caring about you, and knowing no one could remember the good bloody fights we had, the damn cause we stood for."
"So what happened?" Buffy asked. "I mean, I remember now, and vampires do exist."
Spike nodded. "I don't know. Some kind of balance shift is responsible for the vampires being back, I guess it's responsible for Angel and I gaining some of our vampire powers back too. Cordelia remembers everything too. Angel has a theory that if we can awake something everyone care about, something that matters the world, then we can restore everyone's memories. It seems to work. Angel awoke Cordelia's memory with the chance of her never seeing him again. I guess that meant so much to her because they had lost each other a few times before her death."
Buffy nodded, slightly understanding the relationship Angel and Cordelia had, and somewhat not wanting to know about it.
"And the mention of Angel in danger awoke yours." Spike looked away as he said this.
Buffy saw the pain in Spike's eyes as he spoke, and moved her head so he had to look at her. "Spike, Angel does not mean the world to me. I care about him, but knowing he was in danger probably awoke my memory because it was familiar. Angel is always in danger and I always worry about him. It doesn't mean he is all I care about."
"Buffy…" Spike seemed to whisper.
"I meant what I said to you that day that you died to save the world." Buffy told him. "I don't care if you believe me or not, but I do love you, Spike."
Spike smiled at Buffy's words, pulling her in for a long kiss. A kiss he had waited for since he had first been brought back to Wolfram and Hart. A kiss he had longed for since his second chance had begun. A kiss that he knew would change his life.
Angel sat down at his desk, leaning back in his chair as Lorne and Wesley sat across from him. Sitting in that position stirred up a memory in Angel that he had tried to block out many times. The last time he had sat like that, quietly, with people he cared about across from him, he was about to fire Cordelia, Gunn, and Wesley. He frowned at the memory and looked up at Wesley, almost ready to apologize for that day when he suddenly remembered that Wesley had no recollection of it. He couldn't remember it anyway. Angel sighed.
"Angel?" Wesley's voice broke the ex-vampire's train of thought.
"Yeah?" Angel shook his head, clearing his thoughts. "Sorry. What is it?"
"You tell me." Wesley said, and looked to Lorne and then back at Angel. "You two were the ones who said you needed help in here."
"Right. We do." Lorne gave Angel a look to start talking before Wesley grew suspicious.
"Right." Angel looked at Wesley, smiling awkwardly.
"Alright…" Wesley raised an eyebrow. "So, what did you need translated?"
"Translations! Right!" Angel stood quickly, almost tripping over his chair. He then quickly turned to the shelves behind him, stacked with books and scrolls that seemed to have been once used by Wesley. Angel studied them hard, trying to remember. He was certain that when he had first arrived to the new reality their had been no traces of Angel Investigations anywhere in the hotel, but the scrolls in front of him seemed to prove differently. He picked one off the shelf and opened it, to see Wesley's notes on it fall out. Angel stared at the notes in disbelief; they had not existed in this reality before. Clearly something big was happening, remnants of Angel Investigation and the old reality were showing up more and more frequently. Angel had a feeling that was due to the shift in balance. He knew now, more then ever, they needed to get their friends memories back.
"Did you find what you need, Angel?" Wesley asked, curious.
"Yeah." Angel picked up Wesley's notes and placed them back in the scroll before putting the scroll back and thumbing through the stack of them for a different scroll. When he found what he was looking for, he pulled it out, placing it in front of Wesley. "This is it."
Wesley opened the scroll, studying it, and then looking back up at Angel. "Some one else already translated this."
"I know." Angel nodded, waiting to see if the words on the scroll had the desired effect on Wesley. "I was wondering if you could double check them. Make sure they are right."
"Ah, sure." Wesley nodded. "Does it have to do with anything?"
"The scroll?" Angel asked.
Wesley nodded.
"You could say it does." Angel told him.
"What does it say?" Lorne asked, curious what scroll Angel had given to Wesley.
Wesley handed it over to Lorne, who read it over, out loud. "The father…will kill…the son…" Lorne looked up at Angel as if finished reading what the scroll said, shocked at the scroll Angel had given Wesley.
Angel nodded. "Right, so, Lorne, let's leave Wesley to do some work." He took the scroll from Lorne and handed it back to Wesley. He then led Angel out of the office, shutting the door behind him to leave Wesley alone.
"Angelcakes…" Lorne grabbed Angel by the shoulder before the vampire could make his way into the lobby.
"What?" Angel asked.
"Are you sure that was the best way to wake Wesley's memory up?" Lorne asked. "I mean, that scroll…it caused a rough patch in his life, I mean it hurt us all, but it hit Wesley's hard."
"I know." Angel nodded. "That's why it will work. There are some dark parts of a person's past that leave permanent scars, no matter what. Believe me, I know."
Lorne nodded, understanding. If anyone knew about remembering a horrible deed done in the past it was Angel. He had lived with that burden everyday since he had gotten his soul back, and Lorne was sure Angel would continue to live with it, no matter what reality he existed in.
Angel gave Lorne a half smile, and then turned and made his way into the lobby with Lorne trailing behind. He found Fred at the counter, reading the paper, and Cordelia curled up on the couch. Angel watched Fred for a minute, wondering if Cordelia had broken the physicist memory spell already.
"Cordy?" Angel asked.
Cordelia looked up from the couch, a sad smile on her lips. "What?"
Angel studied Cordelia. Something wasn't right with her, he could tell. "Are you okay?"
Cordelia shook her head.
"Do you want to talk?" Angel asked.
Cordelia nodded, standing with a sigh.
"Come on. We can go outside." Angel motioned to the garden that he and Cordelia had spent many nights having conversations in. The last one he recalled was the one that had to do with bringing Angelus back to stop the Beast. Angel sighed at the memory, technically that hadn't even been Cordelia. She had already been taken over by that sick, twisted higher being at that point.
"Okay." Cordelia nodded, taking Angel's hand. She then looked by at Lorne. "Lorne, why don't you keep Fred company?"
Lorne nodded, understanding that Cordelia had not gotten through to Fred yet. He then watched Cordelia and Angel make their way out to the garden and then turned back to Fred, wondering if he could think of a way to help get her memory back. He thought about it and decided that maybe he better leave that up to Cordelia. He didn't want to step on the seers toes, because he knew how much Cordelia hated people meddling with her work, and he was hoping she had a plan of her own to help Fred.
Connor entered the police station like he had a million times before, only now it was different. Now, Connor knew vampires lurked in the streets, and demons were not only found in movies. For some reason, none of this seemed to bother Connor, which actually bothered him even more so. He felt it when he and Gunn had gone out and killed the vampires. Staking them, it felt right to Connor, it felt natural. He was still shaken by the fact that he had known the vampires were in there and that he had smelled the blood from the street. His senses had never been like that before.
Connor moved toward the front desk where he saw the young receptionist, Rob.
"Hey Rob." Connor greeted the officer.
"Connor." Rob nodded at him. "What's up?"
"Not much." Connor made his way round to Rob's side of the desk. "How have things been in here?"
Rob shrugged. "Slow."
"Well, why don't you take a break?" Connor asked. "I could fill in for you for a little. I doubt Chief would mind."
"Really?" Rob smiled, standing. "That would be great."
"Sure." Connor said, and then noticed that Rob had dropped some cash out of his pocket. "Wait, Rob. You're money." Connor pointed to the money on the ground.
Rob smiled, picking the fifty-dollar bill up. "Wouldn't want to lose that. Maybe you'll make some too."
"Make some? What? Money?" Connor asked.
Rob nodded. "Yeah. Some dude came in here looking for some information. He gave me fifty bucks to tell him where some guy lives."
"That's bribery." Connor was not impressed with the officer.
"Whatever." Rob shrugged.
"Who was the guy looking for anyway?" Connor was more curious then anything.
"Some Liam guy." Rob said. "He had the same last name as you, now that I think about it. Liam Angel."
Connor's face went stone cold. Who was looking for Angel? "Who was the guy who came in?"
Ron shrugged again. "I don't know. Why?"
Connor shrugged. "Just wondering."
"Well, I don't know his name but he was like your height. Dark hair, real hyped up." Rob described the man who had been looking for Angel. "Talked like he was mad at the world."
"Xander Harris?" Connor said immediately, remembering what Xander had looked like, and knowing that if anyone was after Angel it was probably Xander.
"Maybe?" Rob said. "I think his first name was Alex."
"Alexander?" Connor was getting impatient.
"I don't know." Rob was getting sick of Connor's questions. "Can I go on break or what?"
"No." Connor stood from the seat he had taken. "I gotta go."
"What?" Rob was annoyed. "But you said you'd give me a break!"
"So? I lied. This is your damn job anyway." Connor said, and then hustled out of the police station. He had a feeling Xander was the one who had come in, bribing Rob and looking for Angel. He was sure Xander held a grudge because Cordelia had gotten Angel out of jail and then come back to L.A. with him. Connor knew Xander definitely had a temper problem, and he also knew that meant he had to get back to the Hyperion Hotel and warn Angel about Xander. He didn't know why, but Angel and Cordelia's safety was a great concern to Connor, even if he had only known them a few weeks.
Gunn made his way back into the Hyperion Hotel to find Fred at the counter, still looking at the newspaper she had been reading when he left and Lorne sitting on the couch, sea breeze in hand. He had been at the crime scenes they had read about all day and was tired from his work.
"Hey." Gunn grumbled, flopping himself down on the couch across from Lorne.
"Hey, sugar pie." Lorne tipped his glass at Gunn. "How'd your work go today?"
"Well, we were right." Gunn announced. "Definitely vampire attacks."
"Really?" Fred seemed intrigued.
Gunn nodded. "Where is everybody else?"
"Connor is still out and Cordelia and Angel are outside talking." Fred told him, and then looked over at the office to see Wesley hunched over some papers, looking more and more distressed by the minute. "And Wesley is doing something in the office."
"Going over some scrolls for Angel." Lorne quickly added. "I'm sure he will be out when he is done."
"Well, whatever." Gunn sighed, closing his eyes. "I hope everyone gets back soon because I am tired and my ass might be passed out by the time they all get back in here."
"Good to know." Lorne said as he watched Gunn make himself comfortable on the couch. He then looked over at the office, wondering if things had clicked for Wesley yet. He hoped they had, he missed Wesley and was looking forward to getting another member of their team back.
Buffy and Spike sat next to each other in the mansion, contemplating their next moves. Neither was sure where to go after the conversation and kiss they had just had. Buffy had stretched herself out across Spike, making it impossible for the ex-vampire to move, not that he was complaining. A comfortable silence hung in the room, then it was shattered.
"Angel!" Buffy sprung up from Spike's lap.
Spike rolled his eyes at the name. "What bloody about him?"
"We need to call him." Buffy said.
"What the hell for?"
"To tell him I'm back!"
"Right…" Spike sighed, not really sure if he wanted to share that information with Angel at the moment.
"And to tell him Faith and Xander are after him!" Buffy added.
Spike perked up at this. "Right! He and Cordelia are in danger."
"Bingo." Buffy rolled her eyes. "Come on, we've got to call that hotel."
Spike nodded, allowing Buffy to lead him into the kitchen where the phone was. He picked the phone up and went to dial and then suddenly stopped.
"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.
"I…uh…" Spike was unsure how to get out what he had to say. "I don't remember the number."
"What?" Buffy was shocked. "But you called it a few times already!"
"I know…I know…" Spike sighed. "But my memory is not what it used to be. I'm not a vampire anymore."
"Great…" Buffy rolled her eyes. "I guess this means we are road tripping to L.A."
"Yeah, great…" Spike said sarcastically with a sigh. He was concerned for Angel and Cordelia, but he was not at all in the mood to travel to L.A., not when Buffy was finally back. He just wanted to spend time with his Slayer now, not worry about saving the world. He realized, however, that was a job he would clearly never be released from.
Angel led Cordelia out in the garden where they took a set on the bench they had sat in so many times before. The last time, Angel recalled, was when he had decided to unleash Angelus to stop the beast. He wasn't sure if that counted though, considering at that point Cordelia had already been taken over by the higher being known as Jasmine.
They sat in silence for a while, as Angel felt Cordelia's hand grasp onto his tighter and tighter as each second passed. Finally, he spoke.
"Cordy? What's wrong?" Angel asked.
Cordelia shook her head. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you."
"What?" Angel was confused. "What are you talking about?"
"When Connor was taken." Cordelia fought back the tears that seemed to be rushing forth as she thought about how Connor had been stolen away from Angel. "I wasn't here for you. I should have been."
"Cordelia, you were here for me. The minute you and Groo got back from you're trip…" Angel started.
"I shouldn't have been on a trip!" Cordelia snapped, and then took a deep breath, trying to relax and explain herself better. "I should have never left. I should have stayed here with you and Connor."
"Cordelia, we've had this conversation before." Angel recalled the morning of the day Connor had returned. He and Cordelia had talked about her being on vacation and why he hadn't called her. He didn't understand why they were repeated the conversation now. "Why are you bringing this up?"
"Fred got me thinking…" Cordelia sighed, looking down at her and Angel's hands entwined.
"About what?"
"You and Connor. When Connor was a baby."
"What about us?"
Cordelia turned to Angel, taking his one hand in both of hers. "Angel, when Connor was a baby you and I grew so much closer then we ever had been before. I was so happy then, probably the happiest I've ever been, and do you want to know why?"
Angel nodded. He wanted to know.
"Because of you and your son." Cordelia told him. "I loved you and Connor so much, I didn't even realize it at the time. I was in love with you, Angel, completely, and I was so scared to admit it that I ran away with Groo instead. I shouldn't have…" Cordelia shook her head, no longer able to fight back her tears. "I shouldn't have left…"
"Cordy, it's okay." Angel pulled her close to him, resting his chin on her head. "It's okay. Everything is okay. It worked out…"
"No it didn't." Cordelia pulled herself off of Angel's shoulder and looked up at him. "The world had to end and we had to go to a new reality to get our second chance at this, Angel."
"So?" Angel asked her. "Everyone is entitled to a second chance, Cordelia. Even us. You know that, right?"
After a moment, Cordelia nodded and wiped up her tears. "Yeah."
"Good." Angel gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Now, I don't want you to think about this anymore." He stood, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. "Come on. Let's go back inside and get to work on Wesley and Fred's memories."
Cordelia nodded. "Did you talk to Wesley?"
"I gave him some scrolls that might stir his memory." Angel told her. "We'll have to wait and find out."
Cordelia nodded, accepting this answer from Angel before allowing him to take her by the hand and lead her into the hotel. She felt better after talking to Angel and hoped that he was right, and everything would work itself out.
Xander pulled his car up to a red light. He looked over at Faith, and then at the street sign outside his car and smiled. They were close to the Hyperion Hotel now, and that meant they were close to Angel and Cordelia. He couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces when he got there. He couldn't wait to see the look on Cordelia's face when he was through with Angel. Angel would pay all right for taking Cordelia from him, Xander was sure of that.
"Xander, are you sure you want to do this?" Faith asked.
"Yeah. I'm sure." Xander told her.
"I don't think it's a good idea." Faith continued.
"I don't care what you think."
"Things could go bad really fast, Xander…"
"So what?" Xander was getting annoyed.
"So are you prepared to deal with that?" Faith went on.
"Damn it, Anya! Shut up for five seconds and let me think!" Xander snapped finally.
"What did you call me?" Faith asked.
"Anya." Xander calmed down, blinking a few times and trying to figure out why the name Anya held such meaning deep down inside of him.
"Why?" Faith asked. The name seemed familiar to her.
After a moment, Xander looked over at her. "I don't know."
Then the light changed and Xander sped off toward the Hyperion Hotel.