'Sin'
Love...
Gaara
Chapter: 2
A/N: This doesn't contain many spoilers, but it does have a lot of me filling in the blanks. Hope you enjoy. Read and Review.
Summary: A child without a choice is hated and neglected. He is a failed experiment and now has no purpose other then to die. How was his fate chosen?
Dictionary:
Shukaku - the one tailed Beast that was sealed inside of Gaara.
Jounin - one of the strongest level ninja.
Kazekage - The leader of the sand village.
Karura - Gaara's mother
Asura - a demon, an enemy of the gods in Hindu mythology
--
Chapter one:
Sin.
A sin lasts forever.
A sin is unforgivable.
A sin is engulfed in darkness.
A sin is despair.
A sin is hatred.
A sin is death.
A sin kills many and leaves millions of bodies in it's path of destruction and death.
No one can escape it an anyone who falls in it's path are forever punished by the darkness.
A person who lives in the realization that sin's dictate more than they punish are wise. But what of the others?
There are many different sins, the sins of religion, the sin of the arrow, the sins of people, and the sins of the people long since passed.
From the five sins of the Pancasila, to the seventy sins of Islam, they are lengthy, and numerous in counting.
However all sins include; adultery; murder; incorrect speech; theft; and disloyalty.
Adultery: The consensuses of sex outside a marriage.
Murder: The taking of life.
Incorrect speech: Cursing and swearing.
Theft: Taking that of which is not yours.
Disloyalty: The breaking of a bond, binding a person to an idea or belief.
So if all of these items are wrong for all, when do they become right?
Never?
It depends?
Maybe?
Perhaps?
Always?
What of this:
A woman being murdered for the sake of saving hundreds of people, this may seem wise to some, and unacceptable to those who heard her screams and the pleas she made for those around her to spare her life so she could care for her unborn child.
Perhaps she deserved death?
The sin of wanting to live when the irony of life is; no on ever gets out alive.
So should no one get out alive, what is the fear surrounding death?
If everyone is going to die there are three questions for each.
One, when?
Two, how?
And three, will it hurt?
-End Chapter One-
—
.:: A man trying to save his people by the damnation of an unborn child ::.
What of a man trying to save millions?
Is it really his mean to save others?
Or could it be his want to kill or mane others?
Perhaps he be a fool, and be tricked into suck a thing? Saving others by killing his wife?
It this madness? Hatred? Foolishness? Stupidity?
No one gets out of life alive, no one at all. So what is the big difference with the survival of this woman?
She is dead. Nothing will revive her.
Yet, for a man to tell a small child his mother hated him when she died for him? Surely this is cruelty? And yet... cruelty is not in the sins
Yet he repeats to this child he loves him, and then tells him, no one loves you. Everyone hates you. Your mother wanted you dead. Your mother wants you to live to suffer. To exist only to kill others and be pained by the fact you love only yourself and fight only for yourself?
This man kills himself in essence of trying to kill this other child. This mere six year old child. Should he be excepted into heaven with open arms?
Banished to hell?
What of this...
The man whom killed to make this damned child, orders others to clean up his mess by having them try to kill the child that can never get hurt. Never bleed, never be harmed.
All of them, they follow orders as they try to kill off the child that was deemed a "failed experiment."
What does this child do? How does he live? And more importantly how deoes he love?
He was born a monster! Let him die then!
Nothing si worse than this child.
But let this unfold as the long traffic before you unfolds. Carefully scan th story of the child's life.
Did he deserve this?
Does he deserve to live?
To die?
To fight?
To be honored?
To surpass his father?
—
A man came from a council meeting and walked down a long hallway, a light flickering at the end of the hall, showing his dark and impure intentions.
He walked into a room and touched the cheek of a beautiful sandy haired woman.
She smiled at him and bowed her head to him. "What is it?" She asked seeing the look on his face.
He was smiling darkly. "I have to tell you what I just agreed to. It's genius!"
"What could be so genius it made you get up in the middle of the night?" Karura asked with a yawn, remembering when he left a few hours before. The sun had already rose and the meeting had lasted over six hours.
"It was of Konoha's business of sealing their own Jinchuuiriki inside of a small child." He answered, trusting his wife with matters that he was not allowed to repeat outside the meeting hall.
"Yes and I think that's a horrible fate for such a person!" She said objectively. "NO one deserves to have something sealed within them without their own permission, none the less a helpless child."
Karura believed firmly in this matter. She had two small children of her own, her oldest child, a three year old girl named Temari, and her two year old son, Kankurou.
The Kazekage seemed a bit annoyed by her words and then placed his hands on her shoulders and made her look up at him. He bent his head slightly to be level with her face and then kissed her cheek.
"Karura, I need you to listen to me above a highly sensitive and private matter." He said, in a voice that demanded her to pay attention.
"I'm listening." She said with a nod as she smiled at him.
He smiled back and wrapped his arm around her as he walked away with her, holding her stomach; where his third child was growing stronger by the day.
"We're planning to do the same as Konoha with the Jinchuuiriki we possess." He said with a dark smirk, showing the corruption in the himself that scared his wife and children.
He watched in disgust as his beautiful wife pulled away form him in disgust. "Why are you telling me this, surely you don't have to tell me such a distasteful act so I can tell our children as they awake."
"No my dear, I'm telling you because you are the key..." he said, pointing at her hand which was covering her stomach.
Karura's thin purple eyes widened suddenly as she realized what was meant by her husband's declaration.
"No!" She said objectively, with a dark glare to match her tone. "You are not dooming my child."
"You have no choice!" He snapped grabbing her wrist and pushing her into the wall, displaying actions he would have never thought he would have ever displayed towards his lover.
Karura cried out as he slammed her int to the wall, hurting both her back and her head. She then tried to pull away. Punching him in the side as he tried to hold her still. She was jounin level nin. She may not have been as strong as he, but she thought he'd never hurt her while she carried a child. He smacked her face and pinned her against the wall once more as she struggled.
"You have no choice and you WILL do this!" He ordered as she continue to struggle in her attempts to get away from him.
The once beautiful pregnant sand kunoichi was now in pain and struggling for what she considered to be her life and the life of her child.
She cried out and held her stomach as the sudden stress she was put under caused her water to break.
The Kazekage didn't mean to put wife under that amount of stress, but she had been due any this put his plans into a rolling type motion.
He picked her up bridal style and took off with her, bringing her to the hospital. He placed her down on a bed in the delivery room and then left, summoning all the proper shinobi and then went back into the room they now had his wife with Chiyo.
Chiyo had a tea kettle in her hands and as all the other jounin watched, the powerful old woman, Chiyo started the process to seal Shukaku within the small child.
Out of the seven Shinobi present, five of them held her down as the Kazekage and one other watched. The one watching looked at the horrid look on the Kazekage's face. He seemed to be enjoying this... As if his wife screaming and being held down by others pleased him.
"The less you struggle the less it will hurt!" He yelled to her, not wanting to slap her around in front of so many witnesses.
Karura had only told one other about her abuses, and that was to her brother, Yashamaru, who she trusted with her life.
"This village is doomed if you do this! So is my baby!" She screamed, holding the side of the bed in the pain of her own labor, not having the comfort of her husband as she once did.
"You're dooming this baby to death and you know it! This will go down as a failed experiment. He won't be what you want!" She cried as the pain grew more intense. Karura pushed harder and the baby's head started to crown.
As Shukaku was sucked inside the child as it started to come out, sand started to fill the stomach of the Kazekage's wife. She screamed once more, knowing there was nothing more she could do. She changed her views on the village at that moment. All that she had done for this village, they just up and turned their backs on her and where leaving her to be a sacrifice, taking her child away from her.
Cursing her other two children to be alone with their psychopathic father, without a mother and without someone to raise them. She did all the work, he never had any interest in his own children, and Temari, saw right through her father. She hated him already, and she was still just a baby.
Karura knew that Temari would now have to take the place of mother and take care of her siblings, which was unfair.
Karura struggled more as the Jounin watched in horror as her stomach grew larger and larger, filling with the cursed sand of the child that had the misfortune of having Shukaku sealed within it.
"I hate this village!" Karura screamed in pain and hatred. "More than anything! You'll see! You will ALL see!" She continued to see. "My child will become a great Shinobi, you will have NO control over him and I know he will avenge my death! My death will not be in vain! Gaara will be my revenge against this village. Wait and see!" She yelled as her stomach reached a point where it could hot no more sand.
Once it got too full, it exploded and sand was went flying in every direction, along with blood, and everything else that was a part of the once fair woman. She had been ripped apart by her own child as the demon beast was sealed within her, taking her as the sacrifice needed in order to seal the best.
Karura of course, died in the process of the seal, which was done sloppily, not knowing how Konoha had done it and had not been repeated properly. There was no seal to keep the beast in as their had been when Yodamine had done it months before.
The sand started to react to the blood in the room around it as the small red headed baby fell to the ground, the impact stopped by sand. The sand same out from every direction and wrapped around the jounin that had once been holding down the mother of the new host of Shukaku.
The newly born infant closing his small hand and the sand crushed the Jounin that dared hold down his mother as the horrible beast was placed inside of him.
The ninja around the Kazekage screamed as they where killed by a tremendous amount of pressure.
The Kazekage's eyes widened suddenly as he watched his own son kill five fully trained, certified and powerful Jounin. They had been killed with such ease!?
His eyes went to his small son. He stepped forward, but the Jounin beside him pushed him out of the way, and in turn got hit by sand in the face.
Everything else faded out. It was all just a swift bur, the Kazekage, remembered nothing else but a scream and promptly passed out when his head hit the ground.
- - - - -
Six year old Gaara stood in front of a window, watching the winds whip the sand ever which way outside the window. He sighed as he held a knife in his hand, alone in the apartment he lived by himself. He had caretakers come and go every once in a while, but they always where too scared of him to stay any longer.
He looked at the picture in front of the window and sighed. It was of his mother. His beautiful, light skinned, purple eyed, mother. She was indeed a beautiful woman.
He raised his left hand high above, revealing a long bladed short blade. He tried to drive it deep into his arm, but failed when sand jumped out from his skin and stopped the blade form coming within two inches of his skin.
"It's now use..." The small child uttered miserably. "The sand interferes."
"Gaara-sama!" came the soothing voice of another man.
Gaara gasped and turned around quickly, looking at his uncle. His eyes wide as the man standing before him in an apron bearing the sand symbol walked forward, his head and arm wrapped in bandages tinged in orange from the blood that had been seeping from the wounds underneath them.
"Yashamaru..." Young Gaara replied as h is uncle walked forward a bit more. He seemed a bit unnerved, and Gaara could sense this in him.
"I was ordered by the Kazekage to be your caretaker." Yashamaru informed him as he stopped in front of him, his face staying neutral as he approached his young nephew. "I am to keep an eye on your health and protect you." He said his face still not changing or showing any expression.
Gaara wondered why his uncle seemed so upset. He wondered if it was because he had injured him earlier. His baby blue eyes averted from his uncle, but his face continued to face the same direction.
Yashamaru now smiled, "Please do not do such a thing in front of me." he asked in a pleading type tone, smiling at his nephew.
Gaara looked at the ground, mildly disgusted with himself. Yashamaru probably thought he was pathetic trying to hurt himself like that... He sadly looked at the floor pathetically and then closed his eyes.
"But... then again, the sand will protect you..." Yashamaru said nervously, not wishing to upset his nephew once more. He raised his hand to the back of his head and scratched it, wondering what he should say next.
The sad red headed child looked up at him with sorrowful baby blue eyes. He blinked and then looked back at the ground.
"Yashamaru..." Gaara said slowly. "I'm sorry..." He said, in defeat, thinking his uncle did not smile for such an extended period because he was upset.
Gaara remembered the event well...
Flashback
He had gotten a ball for some children who where playing a game similar to soccer. He had been watching them, wishing he could play. He tried to give the ball abck and they all gasped and started to mutter amongst themselves.
"It's Gaara!" One said lower than he intended.
"Monster!" Another declared.
"It's Sabaku no Gaara! Run!"
And with that, all the children started to run away from him at the same time.
"No!" Gaara said innocently, nit knowing why he was hated by so many. "Wait no!" he said, wishing they didn't hate him so much. His sand instinctively grabbed around the other children, pulling them back towards Gaara, going as he wanted.
The children held the ground, struggled and did everything they could to get away form him. They wanted nothing to do with him and they'd do whatever they could to get awya from the monster.
Gaara started to get angry. Everyone hatred him. He was feared by all, why? WHY!? Why was everyone so afraid of him? Why did everyone hate him so much? Why was everyone around him afraid to go near him?
His sand went to attack one of the girls who where struggling to get away as she angered him by once against calling him a monster.
Yashamaru jumped in the path of the sand, putting his arms in front of himself to shield his face. "Gaara-sama!" he declared, lowering his hands and leaning towards him. "Please calm down!"
End Flashback
Yashamaru's eyes widened in wonder at what gaara could be apologizing about, and then he looked at his arm, the one that had been cut up bu Gaara's sand earlier that day.
"Oh this?" He asked, chuckling slightly. "It's just a scratch." He said as he tapped the top of his bandage on his head where eh had also been slashed by the sand's amazing power.
Gaara looked up from the ground at Yashamaru, his eyes still full with sadness and regret. He just wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He had hurt his family before. He had hurt Temari and Kankurou both without meaning to, and now... he wished he could never hurt anyone every again.
"Do wounds hurt?" Gaara asked quite innocently, wanting to know if Yashamaru was truly in pain because of him. He looked up at his uncle slowly as he asked this question, his face still sad and pained.
Yashamaru smiled at him and then hugged him. "Just a little." He said simply. It will heal quickly though." he said, trying to make the small child feel better. He was supposed to look after the small child, but if he was depressed, he wasn't doing his job well enough.
There was a pause, in which time the wind whipping through the village outisde could he heard.
"Hey Yashamaru?" Gaara asked in a slightly more depressed tone.
"Yes?" Yashamaru responded.
"What does pain feel like?" Gaara asked looking up at him. He really wanted to know. He had never been in pain before and it was something as of recently he had been starting to wonder about. He wanted to know if what he felt was pain.
Yashamaru seemed a bit taken aback by Gaara's question, and was unsure of how to answer. He was about to ask what he meant, but Gaara continued to speak.
"I've never been hurt before, so I was wondering how it felt..." He said, lookgin down at his own hands. What was pain? What could it mean?
"Mmm..." Yashamaru said, closing his eyes and then looking towards the window in thought. How could be explain this to a six year old young boy and have him understand it? He could easily explain pain to someone who could feel it, but to a child who was host to a great demon and was unable to feel pain. Well that was a difficult bunch of apples.
Gaara's eyes went back to the ground as his uncle was silent. Did he knew what to say? Was he still mad?
"How should I explain this..." Yashamaru began, trying to think of a way to explain it to someone who was incapable of feeling physical pain of any kind. "It's painful an unbearable..." He starting, thinking ti should start off with ti was pain was something that hurt and could be unbearable to feel at times, depending on the extent.
"Like... When a person is shot or cut, he becomes very ill at ease and he can not think normally." He said, still trying to keep a smile on his face, wanting Gaara to smile back at him.
He sighed and then rubbed the back of his neck, a wider smile being planted on his face as he chuckled lightly. "I can't explain it very well, but simply put, it's not a very good condition to be in." He continued to scratch the back of his head as Gaara stared at him with his sorrowful green eyes.
He was so confused and unhappy. He was staring at Yashamaru's arm. Surely, Yashamaru could get sick and die because of the pain that Gaara put him in? What the sand had done to his uncle? It cut him up and caused him to be in his own pain. In his own bad condition. Gaara's eyes quivered as he tried not to cry. He didn't want to cry in front of his uncle. He didn't want to be weak.
"Yashamaru?" the small child asked, resisting the urge and replacing his tears with words.
"Yes?" he asked, stopping the scratching and looking down at the small boy. He smiled and opened his eyes to look at him.
"Then..." Gaara said, needing to ask this quesiton more than anything. "Do you hate me, Yashamaru?" he questioned. Did he really hate him? Could he? Would he? Did he? Gaara's light green eyes where off to the side, not able to look at his dear uncle as he asked such a question.
Yashamaru stared open mouthed at Gaara who was starting off to the side and away form him. How could he ask such a question. Because you do hate him! Yashamaru's inner mind screamed to him. But Yashamaru looked down at the small boy who refused to look at him.
Suddenly, Gaara blinked and looked at the ground for a moment and then quickly up at him. There was another short silence as Yashamaru blinked in returned and then smiled at Gaara.
"People hurt each another and get hurt during their lifetimes. But it is difficult to hate another." Yashamaru told his young nephew as he opened his eyes and continued to smile down at the young child.
Gaara smile dup at him for the first time in that whole period and then spoke. "Thanks, Yashamaru! I think I understand what hurting is now!"
"Really?" Yashamaru asked as he watched the young red headed boy hang his head slightly.
"Maybe I'm injured too, like everyone else." He said sadly as he continued to look at the ground. Which Yashamaru noticed, he had been doing quite a lot of recently.
"I always hurt here." Gaara said, putting a hand over the left side of his heart, taking a hole of his shirt and chest, the long blade knife still in his hand.
"I'm not bleeding, but my chest really hurts here." He said as he took a firm grip over the area that had always hurt him and made him want to hurt himself.
Yashamaru stared at the ground, the smile gone from his face as he seemed very sad himself. He started to think back to Gaara's birth. He had been outside the door as he listened to his sister's screaming. She was in so much pain then and he couldn't have helped her.
There was another silence as Yashamaru walked over to Gaara and took the knife from ths young boy's small hands. He bent down in front of Gaara, putting one knee on the ground and then put the knife to his ring finger on his right hand and made a small cut on it, letting the blood drip down.
Gaara gasped loudly as he watched his uncle cut his own finger. He seemed in shock, but slowly closed his mouth so only his teeth showed slightly. His eyes were wide and shook his slightly. Didn't he say wounds hurt?
Yashamaru smiled at him once more. "Fresh wounds bleed, and they may seem painful... But, as time goes by, the pain eventually disappears." He showed him the small cut on his finger by tilting his hand forward towards him.
"And if you use medicine," Yashamaru continued with a smile. "The wounds heal even faster."
Gaara seemed to take in what his uncle said and seemed speechless.
Yashamaru raised the hand with the knife to his heart, the knife facing downward, he place it over his heart and then held it as he spoke, trying to teach Gaara more about pain and wounds. "But the trickery wounds are those to your heart. Those are difficult to heal." he explained.
"A wound of the heart?" Gaara asked unsure. Is that were all his pain was coming from? From his heart?
"A wound of the heart is very different from a flesh wound." He explained as he closed his eyes and looked down at the knife in his hands.
"Unlike a flesh wound, there are no ointments to heal it, and there are many times when they are never heal." He said with his eyes closed, unsure if this was making sense to such a small child. Gaara was smart, and very sweet, but did he understand what Yashamaru was trying to tell him?
Gaara seemed very depressed why this. Nothing could heal his wounds? He put his hand over his heart once more and held onto it, wondering if what Yashamaru said was true. Was he really going to be in this awful pain for the rest of his life?
"But..." Yashamaru said, to try to cheer him up. "There is one thing that can heal a wound of the heart."
"Huh?" Gaara asked, looking up at Yashamaru once more. His eyes wide with wanting to know more.
Yashamaru further explained. "It's a troublesome medicine, and you can only receive it from another person." Yashamaru looked over at the table towards the picture of his beautiful sister. She was smiling and her purple eyes that matched his where twinkling. It was taken when she was 16, two weeks before she had met the kazekage. She was truly beautiful then, before he had destroyed her...
"What?" Gaara asked pleadingly. "How can I heal this...?" He stopped when he realized Yashamaru wasn't looking at him and hee turned towards the picture of his beautiful mother. Gaara had never known her, and he wished he had. Everyone seemed to miss her. Temari, Yashamaru, Kankurou.
Yashamaru smiled at Gaara and looked at him this time, "The only thing that can heal the wound of the heart is..." He titled his head to the side slightly, his eyes still focused on Gaara.
"Love."
"Love?" Gaara asked unsure. What was love? What did it mean? He had never heard anything about it before.
"Yes!" Yashamaru said smiling at him sweetly.
"H-how do I get it?!" Gaara asked anxiously. He wanted to know. He wanted someone to love him so the pain would just go away. "What should I do to get rid of this pain?!" He asked wanting to know more than anything in the world.
"Gaara-sama, you have already received it." Yashamaru answered, looking into the green eyes of his small nephew. He was so sweet, so innocent. There was still much he didn't know.
"Huh?" Gaara mumbled, not understanding. Who loved him?
Yashamaru looked back at the picture of Karura, his dear sister and then smiled.
Gaara looked at the picture as well and then seemed a bit confused.
"Love is the spirit of devoting yourself to someone important and close to you. It is expressed by caring for and protecting that person. Just like my sister." he said, smiling at the picture. He reached out and touched the beautiful mahogany frame of the picture and then turned back to face Gaara.
"I believe that my sister always loved you, Gaara-sama. The Shukaku of Sand is usually used for combat purposes. The sand automatically protects you because of love." He said, thinking back to when the sand protected Gaara from stabbing his own arm.
"I believe that the will of your mother is inside the sand." he said happily as Gaara stared at the picture of his mother.
"My sister probably wanted to protect you, even after her death.." Yashamaru told Gaara with a smile. "
Gaara looked away form the picture of his beautiful young mother and then looked at Yashamaru, who was still bending down in front of him and was eye level with him. "Yashamaru?"
"Yes what is it?" Yashamaru asked as he looked at Gaara slightly surprised. What more does he wish to know? he wondered.
Gaara smiled up at him, "Thanks back there... for stopping me." Gaara said happily.
"My pleasure." he said as he put his still bleeding ring finger in his mouth to stuck on it ans top the pain. "You are a person that is important and close to me after all, Gaara-sama."
Gaara took a few steps toward Yashamaru and took hold of his hand, pulling it from his mouth. Yashamaru pulled back, unsure of what Gaara was about to do. He had to admit it, he was a bit worried.
Gaara stared at the wound for a few seconds, before opening his mouth and taking Yashamaru's finger into his mouth and sucked on it until it stopped bleeding.
Yashamaru watched Gaara sorrowfully. He was so sweet, yet do evil and ununderstandable. He just watched him and then pulled his hand from Gaara's mouth. His eyes narrowed slightly. Can you feel my pain? He thought to himself as he smiled at his smallest nephew.
Gaara looked up at him, "Hey, Yashamaru? I have a favor to ask."He asked happily.
"Hmm? What is it?" Yashamaru asked, willing to help him out with anything.
"I need ointment!" Gaara said as Yashamaru got him some and put it in a brown paper bag.
Gaara ran from the house and started to go through the village looking for the boy who he had tried to hurt. He found where he lived fairly quickly and then ran up her stairs and knocked on the door. He opened it and his eyes widened in fear.
"Sorry about before. It hurt, right?" Gaara asked sweetly as he smiled and held up the bag. "Here, this is ointment. Use it if you want." he suggested.
"Go home!" He said unhappily and really annoyed, slamming the door. "Monster!"
Gaara's eyes widened as his heart started to hurt once more. And he dropped the bag on the stoop and walked off, out to walk around the village alone for another night. He never slept and was never able to.
Gaara walked around the village alone as the wind whipped through it. Sand moved around swiftly and he sighed slightly as he walked, his eyes cast downward at the ground. He was hurting again. His heart hurt him so much. His eyes never came up not ocne while he was alone in Suna around 3 or so in the morning.
He walked by a bar where a man stumbled out with a bottle of liquor and almost hit Gaara with it accidently in his drunken stupor. "What the..?" he asked, seeing that he almost hit a small child. "Be careful!" he said obnoxiously as if it was Gaara's fault. "You stupid kid!"
Gaara turned his head and looked at him with his light green eyes.
The man gasped loudly as he saw the dark black circles around the small boys eyes, and he knew immediately who it was. It was Gaara! The Kazekage's demonic son who could kill anyone in a heart beat. He was known for killing his mother and five Jounin at the time of his birth.
"You're!" He said as Gaara's eyes started to turn blood shot.
"Again?" Gaara asked himself.
Why..." Gaara thought in his head.
"WHY?!?" His conscious screamed. "Those eyes again..." He said in reference to how they widened with fear every time someone looked at him. Sand came out of Gaara' body and wrapped around him suddenly.
"Wa-wait!" the drunken man said as he started to get even more afraid. He screamed out and dropped the bottle of Cheri-red wine. It shattered on the ground and Gaara once again started to walk away, ignoring the men that came out of the bar.
Gaara kept walking for a long while, until he was halfway across the village and as far away from the bar as he could be. He started to approach a house with a man standing outside, leaning up against one of the support beams that held it up.
He stopped and looked up at the man who glared hatefully down at him. What are you thinking father? Gaara wondered as he looked up at the man. He sighed and then turned, starting to walk off. Away from the hateful stares of his own father.
Gaara went back to the house he lived in with Yashamaru and his other siblings and went up to the roof. He sighed and sat sitting on the side of the roof, wondering what he should do.
That didn't go well.. He thought, thinking back to when he met up with his father who remained silent and said absolutely nothing to him.
Gaara looekd down at his small hands and closed them slightly then reopened them.
Why? Why am I the only one that is a monster? He asked himself. He wanted to know this as well. He wanted to ask Yashamaru to explain this to him. Why was he hated? Why did everyone look at him that way?
What am I? Gaara thought as he put his hands over his face and started to sob. His eyes watering with salt water tears. Gaara remembered Yashamaru saying that "the only thing that can heal the wound of the heart is... love."
"Yashamaru!" Gaara said aloud as more tears went down his face. He put his hand over his heart because of the pain he was feeling there. It hurt so much! What could he do? He needed love, he wanted love to heal the wound. Gaara leaned over the side of the roof slightly and closed his eyes
About half dozen kunai floated up in the air behind Gaara. They all went forward slowly at first before flying forward quickly, trying to stick into his back.
Instinctively, his sand stopped the blow and Gaara gasped and moved his hands from his face and then turned around to look at the newest shinobi assailant. "What?" Gaara thought as he looked at the tall man who was wearing his Suna forehead protector with a white sheet covering his face. He also had on a chunnin vest and normal shinobi cloths. His eyes where hidden and he was almost impossible to see.
Another doze kunai where floating in the air in front of the shinobi and he had more hidden still and some tricks hidden up his sleeve.
Why? Why Do I... Why am I the only one who had to go through all this!? Gaara thought to himself. He put his foot on the stone support of the roof as his sand was still behind his back.
The shinobi's hand went outward, showing a bandage on the tip of his ring finger. Gaara' sand went in front of him, stopping the kunai from touching him.
Gaara's hand came forward and the sand reacted, wrapping around the shinobi tightly, biding him. He struggled more and more but all Gaara had to do was close on of his small hands and the sand crushed the man with a smaller amount of force, not giving enough to kill him immediately.
Gaara realized what he had just done in his rage, and started to shake all over, his hands up to his chin. "Who.. Who are you?! Why..?" He asked as he took a few steps towards the corpse.
He noticed the bandage on the ring fingertip of the man and he gulped loudly. He moved forward, closer and closer, slower and slower, seeing the messy blonde hair over the top of the white face mask.
Gaara walked over to the shinobi, slowly pausing every step and pulled off the mask. His eyes widened in fear and shock and he couldn't help but cry out. It was Yashamaru.
Yashamaru tilted his head towards Gaara, smiling at him, blood streaming down his face and head. "Yo are strong, as I expected, Gaara-sama." he said smiling at him.
Gaara's bloodshot eyes shook as he was about to start crying all over again. A huge pain stabbed into his heart and he fell forward grabbing onto it as he felt the pain of Yashamaru's 'love' rip through him.
"Ahh... ahh.. Ahh!" Gaara whined. "Ya-Yashamaru!" he cried out as he fell to his knees and held onto his head and his heart. He screamed out as loudly as he could as he started to cry loudly.
Yashamaru coughed a few times and leaned his head back against the wall. He looke dup at the moon and saw his sister's face smiling at him.
"Why?" Gaara asked, still holding his head, finally able to look up at Yashamaru, the tears streaming down his face the entire time he did so. His eyes burned and his vision was slightly blurry.
Yashamaru turned his head to looked at him as he coughed once more.
"Yashamaru, why did you..?" Gaara asked, still crying. "Why? Why?"
You are a person very important and close to me as well, Gaara–sama.. Gaara remembered him saying those words. So why was he liked the others who attacked him?
"You... you... I thought you were..." He said, thinking it Yashamaru actually cared about him. But he was wrong. No one cared about him. Right?
Yashamaru tilted his head towards Gaara, his purple eyes sparkling in the light of the full moon. "It..." Yashamaru began. "Was an order."
Gaara looked up at him surprised as he wiped his eyes.
"I was ordered to kill you." Yashamaru further explained. "By your father..."
Gaara's eyes widened and he seemed to be in shock.
"Kazekage-sama.." Yashamaru said once more, defining who Gaara's father was. The village leader..
Gaara's tears started to stream down his face once more and his eyes widened. "Father... did?" he questioned as his salt water tears hit the stone of the buildings roof. Gaara put his hadn to his mouth to block a gasp and stopped himself from throwing up.
"Father? Why? Why me?" He asked as he leaned over, letting his tears drop on the roof top in puddles.
Yashamaru started to explain the truth to him. "You were born with the Shukaku of Sand, and then observed like a guinea pig, Gaara–sama. But since you could not control the power of the living-soul, Shukaku, and were unable to manipulate sand on your own, your existence was deemed a danger to the village." Yashamaru explained.
Gaara hung his head lower. Father did this? He was the one who deemed him a danger? This is why everyone looked at him with those eyes. Salt water continued to drip from Gaara; eyes onto the stone roof.
"But before that happened..."
Gaara looked up at Yashamaru. "Then you did this unwillingly because my father ordered you to?" Gaara asked, leaning towards him slightly, thinking that was the truth. His father had always hated him, but Yashamaru loved him, right?
"No..." Yashamaru said, unable to move from the pain. "That is not correct. It is true that I received the order form Kazekage-sama. But I could've refused it if I had wished to. Gaara-sama... Deep within my heart I hate you. You took the life of my beloved sister when you where born..." Yashamaru continued hatefully.
"My sister's memento. I tried to love you, thinking you where her treasured child..." He paused for a moment. "But I couldn't... My sister did not wish for your birth. She became this village's sacrifice and she died cursing the village. After that... I carried a wound that could never heal.." he told Gaara as his blood started to soak into the roof.
"My sister gave you your name... This child's name is Gaara... An Asura that loves himself. Love only yourself. And fight only for yourself. By doing so you can continue to exist... Your name carries those wishes... But my sister did not give you that name because she cared for you or because she loved you."
" She gave you that name so you could continue to exist... because she hated and cursed this village as she died, and she wanted her deep hatred, to exist and remain. To let others know of it. You were not loved." Yashamaru opened his vest revealing hundreds of thousands of explosive tags strapped to his chest.
A small spark came to it and they all started to burn as Yashamaru said his final words.
"This is it..." He muttered to Gaara, smiling at him. "Please die..."
A loud explosion followed seconds, after and the and instantly wrapped around Gaara as the bomb went off, saving him and making it so almost none of the blast got to him. He was completely unharmed and was fine, at least physically.
Gaara sat inside of his sand crying. He remembered all that Yashamaru told him about love and how Yashamaru told him that he loved him. Lies! It was all lies! He hated him all this time. Gaara grabbed onto his heart as he cried. Why did he tell him this. He leaned forward and hsi face almost touched the ground as he cried.
Something within Gaara shattered at that moment and his tears stopping coming. He screamed out as he cried and his snad flew around him angrily. It came to his temple as he continued screaming and as the sand fell to the ground, blood fell with it, dripping from his temple.
As Gaara raised his head the kanji symbol for Love, was branding on his temple.
Love only yourself...
And fight only for yourself...
So that is what Gaara is... Me.
I finally understand.
I am alone.
I won't believe in anyone, or love anyone.
I'm alone.
Yes I am alone...
A/N: that's Chapter two, the Punishment and Sin of Gaara's life.