Fade to Black

Summary: Torn between two lives, broken by the choices he has to make. Will Hatake Kakashi live to see the next day or will he fade into obscurity:: A story of love, loss, pain, and happiness; the childhood of the great Copy Nin Kakashi.

Genre: Drama/Angst

Rating: T

Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Naruto.

Author's Notes: I'm purposely writing this story in fragmented sentences because I believe that most kids, no matter how smart they are, process thoughts in fragmented sentences. But that's just my opinion.

I am not an expert in medicine or diseases or anything like that. So please excuse any medical mistakes.

2nd Author's Notes: Over 100 reviews! That's amazing! Thank you all so very, very much for reviewing this story and liking it as much as you do and for giving me the desire to keep on writing. Thank you!

And on that note… here is the next chapter that I, myself, am not quite happy with but I just can't seem to figure out why or fix it. So oh well, if anyone has any suggestions to make it better then tell me in a PM or a review – besides that, enjoy as best as you can!

HUGE AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please, please, PLEASE, be aware that this story contains child abuse. You have been warned.

Please R&R…Thanks!

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"I need your help."

Tsunade stops in her tracks; standing partially in the building and partially out, the door pushed part-way open. "How did you find me?"

"I followed the rumours of the Densetsu no Kamo," Jiraiya replies calmly, "That's quite the reputation you've developed in such a short time."

"Bar," she states and Jiraiya nods. He falls into step behind the medic-nin, and her apprentice Shizune, and follows them to whatever bar Tsunade decides to go – he's unfamiliar with this small town but trusts his former teammate to find a suitable place to speak in.

The bar they enter is small and busy, but not so busy that a person couldn't have a normal conversation in. The noise level is at just the right level that you can easily hear the one you're talking to but are unable to eavesdrop on others conversations. Jiraiya knows that Tsunade picked this bar for that reason alone.

She sits down at a booth; Shizune takes the seat beside her, and Jiraiya takes the seat opposite to her. The places isn't overly comfortable or overly uncomfortable – in fact, it's no where special at all. The lights are dim and the drinks are tasty enough.

"What do you want?" she asks; twirling her drink on the table.

"I need your help."

She sighs. "With what?"

"I need you to come heal—"

"No," she interrupts, "I gave that up."

"You ran away." Jiraiya's voice gets slightly louder with anger.

"I'm not healing anyone."

Jiraiya lets out a heavy sigh. "Just examine him. That's all I ask. See if there is anything that can be done. And if there is then maybe Shizune could do the surgeries… or something. Just examine him, that's all."

"What happened to him?" she asks. "Why do I have to come look at him?"

"He was tortured… the medic-nins in Konoha can't heal him. He's currently crippled."

"Crippled?"

"Both his knees have been shattered, he can't walk." Jiraiya takes a sip of his drink.

"Who is he?"

"Does it matter?" Jiraiya raises an eyebrow in question.

"Yes." Tsunade looks annoyed. "You wouldn't come looking for me unless you knew the person, or felt guilty."

"It's Kakashi."

It's now Tsunade's turn to raise her eyebrow. "As in Hatake Kakashi? Sakumo's son? He'd be about ten now, wouldn't he?" she asks. Jiraiya nods. "Then this is because of that stupid promise you made to Sakumo, isn't it?" she whispers. "You feel guilty that you couldn't protect the kid."

"That's not it," Jiraiya defends himself; knowing that Tsunade is completely right.

"Don't lie to me!" Tsunade's voice rises, quite a bit, in anger. "I'm not an idiot! I was your teammate for years! I know when you're lying!"

"Maybe I do!" Jiraiya yells back; slamming his drink on the table. "But not because of that promise!"

"Then why? What did you do?"

Jiraiya takes a deep breath to calm himself down. "Five minutes," he mutters, "If I had been five minutes earlier he wouldn't be crippled – injured, yes, but not crippled."

Tsunade lets a little bit of sadness enter her voice. "His injuries aren't your fault, you should know that."

"Then will you help?"

"No."

"Why!" Jiraiya stands up in anger. "Why!"

"Because I can't do it," she mutters in anger, "And you know that!"

"Is this because of your hemophobia!" Jiraiya realizes that his voice is getting far too loud for this bar and that other people are starting to listen in. "Just examine him! Get Shizune to do the surgeries if you need to! You've abandoned Konoha, this is the least you can do!"

"I didn't abandon Konoha!" Tsunade now stands up in her own anger.

"Keep telling yourself that!" Disgust at Tsunade's denial creeps into Jiraiya's voice. "Keep being in denial! It seems to be the 'in' thing to do now-a-days anyways!"

"What is that suppose to mean?"

Jiraiya shakes his head. "Never mind."

Tsunade sighs. "We're going Shizune." The apprentice quickly scoots herself out of the booth and Tsunade follows.

"So that's it!" Jiraiya yells after her. "You're just going to leave! You're the kid's only hope!"

"This isn't about the kid!" Tsunade turns around to face her former teammate again. "This is about you trying to resolve your own guilt! I'm not your savior! Fix your problems yourself!"

"I can't fix it because I'm not a medic-nin! You're the only one you can help him!"

Tsunade walks up to Jiraiya, standing mere inches away from him. She has to tilt her head back to look into the eyes of the man for he is quite a bit taller than her.

"That kid is not my responsibility," she mutters then swiftly turns around.

Jiraiya grabs her wrist, stopping her movement. "But healing the injured is."

She freezes and takes a deep, shuddering breath.

"Don't let Kakashi die just because you're afraid of failure," Jiraiya continues, "Don't let the kid die just because you haven't quite been able to forget Nawaki and Dan yet."

"Don't," she whisper, "Don't go there…"

"I won't… just please, take a look at him, that's all."

Tsunade briefly closes her eyes; desperately trying to hold back the tears that the mention of Naraki and Dan's names brings. "Fine," she whispers.

Jiraiya's not fooled by the hidden tears and barely-shaking voice; he slowly turns his former teammate around and embraces her.

"You'll do fine," he mutters into her hair.

"Shut-up, you can't predict the future," he snaps back; her voice choked by her tears and muffled by Jiraiya's chest.

Jiraiya smiles into her blonde hair. "I think I hear Sakumo sighing in relief."

"I think I hear you going crazy, talking to ghosts and all."

Jiraiya doesn't quite know what to say or do now and he thinks Tsunade feels the same way by the nervous chuckle they both share as they untangle themselves from each other.

"Time to go save the kid now, nh?" Tsunade mutters.

"Yah, he might go do something silly – like try to walk."

"Yah, he has Sakumo's stubborn personality, doesn't he?"

"Yup… you should see how much he's grown now though. He's going to be one tall adult."

Tsunade chuckles. "Like Sakumo, nh?"

"Yup, always like Sakumo."

"Always."

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"You're an idiot."

Arashi hisses in pain as the medic-nin rubs cream into the burn that covers his chest.

"He needed to be comforted. He was scared and panicked," Arashi explains to Sandaime.

"He couldn't control his chakra… holding him burnt you." Sarutobi sighs. "You're an idiot."

"He calmed down."

"That's great." Sarutobi's voice is rising in frustration. "And you're lucky he didn't kill you. That kid has a lot of chakra in that tiny body of his that he apparently still can't control when he's upset… who knows what could've happened!"

"No one got hurt." Arashi bites his lip to distract himself from the pain as the medic-nin starts to wrap gauze and bandages around his chest.

"That's not the point!" Sarutobi rubs his temples to try and relieve the headache starting to form. "You could've died for a ten-year old cripple! That's the point!"

"So just because he's crippled we shouldn't bother to help him anymore!" Yondaime's voice is now rising in his own anger. "Just because he's useless to Konoha's shinobi's ranks doesn't mean we can just abandon him!"

Sarutobi sighs. "Look… I know you mean well. But Konoha is in danger of falling and if you don't refocus where you're spending your attention and time it's going to spell disaster for this Village."

"Just… just don't, okay? I know. I know the position Konoha's in… I know what I'm doing. So just leave it be."

"Leave it be? Leaving it be could cause us all to die!"

Arashi stands up in anger; effectively pissing off the medic-nin. "Do you think I don't know that!"

"Arashi! Sit down!" The medic-nin orders and the Hokage sighs; but he does sit back down on the edge of the bed.

The Sandaime shakes his head sadly. "You don't get it."

"Just shut-up," Arashi mutters, "I get it… I get it all perfectly clearly. I'm not an idiot, I'm not stupid. I've made mistakes but I'm not going to condemn Konoha to failure. So just leave me the fuck alone."

Sarutobi whispers something inaudible under his breath and quietly leaves. Arashi sighs and lets his body sink further into the cushion of the bed as he waits for the medic-nin to finish bandaging the burn on his body.

He has no idea what he's going to do; concerning both Kakashi and Konoha.

He feels like a failure.

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I curl up in on myself. The warmth that the blanket offers does little to stave off the chilling cold inside of me – inside of my heart.

I can't walk.

I'm a cripple… broken and useless. There's nothing more I can offer Konoha, nothing more I can do to help keep this Village alive. I've failed. Failed at rebuilding the Hatake name… failed at proving myself… failed at living up to father's expectations. Failed at everything I've ever done.

And now I lay here under the covers of a hospital bed, curled up in the fetal position and crying. Tasting the salt of my tears on my lips and listening to the slow, steady beat of the heart in my chest that isn't even mine.

Pathetic. Fucking pathetic. Ten-years old and a cripple. Useless. Pathetic and useless and too young to do anything about it but too old to change my path in life. It's a shinobi's life or it's no life at all.

And I can't have a shinobi's life so I guess it's no life at all. There's nothing else I can. Nothing else that I'm any good at.

"Kakashi?"

I open my eyes to see a stream of light passing through a small crack in my tiny little fortress of blankets and pillows. I blink a couple times as my eyes adjust to the light.

In the crack there peeks a sliver of Nozomi's face.

"Go away," I mutter as I squeeze my eyes shut again.

I shiver as the blanket is swiftly pulled away and I'm left bared to the outside world. "I told you to go away."

"You're an idiot," she murmurs. I feel her weight shift the bed as she sits down.

"You've told me that multiple times already."

"I'm not leaving you… because if I do I know you'll go an do something stupid – like kill yourself."

I chuckle. "Who says that's stupid? My father did it… maybe I'm just destined to follow his path."

She sighs. "You're ten… there's no way you know your destiny yet."

"You're annoying."

"I'm annoying because I'm right and you don't like that. Stop being so cold-hearted… stop retreating in to yourself. You have friends and they care for you. Asuma's been begging to see you but his father won't allow it. How can you even think of taking your life when you have so many people that care for you?"

"I'm useless. I can't even walk… there's nothing I can do to help anyone anymore."

She takes my hand in her own; hers is warm and comforting while mine is cold and frail. She leans close to me and whispers, her mouth centimeters away from my ear: "You lose hope to quickly. There's rumours that Jiraiya himself has gone off to drag Tsunade back here to take a look at you. Jiraiya!" She leans back, I can see the smile that graces her face in my mind, and continues, "You're one lucky kid to have two of the Sannins even take the time of day to speak to you... and then you have Yondaime himself as your sensei!"

I open my eyes to look into her brown ones. Her hair is tied back in a loose ponytail but many strands have fallen into her face, unheeded and ignored.

"Do you just never go on missions?" I mutter, "Because you always seem to be in the general area of me."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily." She laughs. "Besides… I have been on many missions – you've just been in and out of conscious so much that you don't even really remember what's happened the last few months you've been back."

"Few months?" I question… it hasn't been that long, has it? It can't be… I would've know. I would've know. My internal clock would've told me. I would've known.

"It's been just under three months since Jiraiya brought you back. If only been awake and lucid twice since then… well, actually three times counting this time."

I frown… and then realize for the first time that Nozomi's seen me without my mask on – seen me multiple times without my mask on.

"Get out!" I yell as a sit up in unexplainable panic – gritting my teeth against the pain that sears up my back as my stitches pull against torn and sensitive skin. The fact that she's seen my face shouldn't freak me out this much… so why is it?

Her eyes widen in shock at my sudden outburst. "What did I do? Did I say something wrong?" she quietly questions.

"Get the fuck out!"

"Kakashi?" Her forehead creases in worry. "What's wrong?"

"Get out!" I repeat; getting angrier and angrier with every passing millisecond.

She nods and slowly pushes herself off the bed. I watch as she quietly leaves… one last, pleading glance back at me is met with a shake of my head and one last, murmured: "Get out."

Why has the fact that Nozomi's seen my face freak me out so much? Why has it sent me into this blind panic? It's not that big of a deal… it's nothing.

Or is it because I might actually be starting to trust her?

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"Nozomi?"

The young shinobi looks up from the floor. She's sitting in front of the door that leads into Kakashi's hospital room… and the streaks that run down her cheeks tell the Hokage that the girl's been crying.

"Yondaime?" she whispers, quickly rubbing her eyes on the back of her sleeve to try and wipe away the tears that she can't stop.

Arashi kneels down in front of the teary-eyed child that sits in the darkened hallway. He wonders what Nozomi is doing here so late – at nearly two in the morning.

"What's wrong?" he softly asks.

She sniffles and shakes her head. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," the Hokage probes, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what I did," she mutters between her hiccupping sobs. "I don't think I said anything that would make him so upset."

Arashi sighs. "Look… Kakashi has a hard time making friends. Maybe he just got freaked out because he feels you're getting to close to him. Give him a little space and come back tomorrow… it might be better."

She shakes her head and wipes more tears away. "He's never going to be able to accept friendship, is he? He's been through too much."

The Hokage smiles. "He's only ten and you're only eleven, you have your whole life to break through his shell – don't give up hope so easily."

She smiles back at Arashi as the Hokage stands up. He holds out his hand to help her up and she takes it. Arashi hoists her up into a standing position and then embraces her to calm her shaking nerves.

And the Hokage is already regretting his words because he doubts that Kakashi will live long enough to ever let Nozomi into his life.

And when did Nozomi become so concerned about Kakashi? Arashi remembers the multiple times that Nozomi had come over to his house to stay with Kakashi when the child had needed someone his age to talk to. And he remembers the times Kakashi had spoke of the girl and how she had often come over to Senji's house to be with Kakashi when he needed someone. But when did the whole relationship even start? And how come no one had really ever noticed her presence until now?

Arashi didn't know the answer to his questions and he sort of wishes that Nozomi had never become entangled with Kakashi's life. It's only going to end badly for the young shinobi.

The Hokage wonders if Kakashi knows just how many people he's touched.

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A knock on the door shakes me from my thoughts. Who would come to see me and yet knock before?

The door squeaks open and in walks Nozomi – smiling brightly despite the fact that the last time we had talked had been over a week ago.

"Someone's here," she whispers excitedly, "I wasn't suppose to come here and tell you but I have anyways."

I raise an eyebrow in question. "Who's here?"

Her smile grows wider and she vaults herself over the foot of my bed to sit, cross-legged, by my feet. "Someone who can help you," she continues in that annoying whisper of hers.

I now raise both eyebrows as I watch her blow a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Can't you just tell me?" I ask.

"Now what fun would that be?" she teases. "You're smart, figure it out yourself. It's not that hard!"

I open my mouth to reply but I'm interrupted by the door opening again. I look up to see a very familiar face framed by very familiar blonde hair.

"Hey kiddo." Tsunade smiles at me. "Can I come in?"

"You actually came," I breathlessly whisper in shock, "You actually came just for me."

"Of course I would." She walks to the side of my bed and ruffles my hair. "How could I refuse coming to help Hatake Kakashi? I've heard a lot about you lately… seems you've garnered quite the reputation now."

I shrug in response and notice for the first time that both Jiraiya and Sensei have also entered the small room.

"How you holding up kid?" Jiraiya asks as Sensei places his hand on Nozomi's shoulder and gently guides her off the bed.

"Fine, I guess," I reply.

Someone places their hand on my shoulder and I jerk away. I quickly twist my upper body around to see who it was… it was Tsunade.

She smiles sadly down at me. "Sorry."

I turn away to stare down at my hands… my hands that are suddenly clutching tightly around my blanket.

"Can you lay down for me?" Tsunade asks and I nod… gently lowering myself down onto the bed.

She pulls the blanket off the bed and sighs. I close my eyes as I let her run her hands just over my body – I can feel her chakra flowing into my body in an attempt to figure out what's exactly wrong with me and whether she can fix it or not.

"Kakashi," she whispers, "There's something in your lungs that shouldn't be there. Were you ever forced to –"

"Tar," I mutter; interrupting her, "Tar and water and…" I hesitate, letting my voice drop to a nearly inaudible whisper, "… and body waste. He called it Water Cure." I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter in a desperate attempt to not remember.

Just don't remember. Don't remember. Don't.remember.don't.remember.don'tfuckingremember!

Tsunade sighs and continues on her examination. She stops again at my knees and gently touches them. I gasp in pain as she moves my knees around as gently as she can to determine whatever she needs to determine.

Eventually her movements stops and I dare to open my eyes. She sighs and turns to talk in hushed whispers with another woman… someone who I vaguely remember as her apprentice. Shizune… I think that's her name.

"I think," she begins, "that with surgery and some proper rehab then Kakashi will be able to regain full use of both shoulders… though I believe there will be some permanent nerve damage to the left shoulder… I also believe that the lungs can be almost completely healed as the main problem with them is just clearing out all the junk that's stuck in them." She sighs and runs a tired hand through her hair. She smiles softly at me. "I'm not entirely sure about how much repair we can do to the knees – I can't determine that until surgery is attempted. There's a good chance we can fix a lot of the damage but I don't want to make any promises. The knees are a touchy area to heal. Also… I'm unsure about what can be done to fix your digestive system – it's been really damaged and there probably isn't much that can be done but if there isn't anything then we'll just have to keep you on vitamins and a strict diet to keep you from becoming malnourished."

"Are you serious?" Sensei asks, and I can hear the badly hidden relief in his voice, "The medic-nins said that there was nothing more that could be done."

Tsunade chuckles. "The medic-nins here are unaccustomed to dealing with injuries this severe so they don't know what to do. Luckily I do know what to do, and luckily for you all you have Jiraiya here to convince me to come back to help."

Sensei nods with a smile on his face and I chuckle.

"What's so funny kiddo?" Jiraiya asks with his own smile gracing his face.

"Nothing," I reply… knowing that it all seems so surreal to me. But even with Tsunade's words I don't dare believe that I'll be fixed until I actually am.

"I would like to speak with you Arashi," Tsunade states and Sensei nods. They both leave, along with Shizune… leaving only Jiraiya and Nozomi left in the room with me.

"Thanks Jiraiya," I say as I push myself back up into a sitting position.

The Sannin nods, still smiling, and quietly leaves.

Nozomi walks over to the edge of the bed and leans over, barely tall enough to reach me, and smiles. "I'm glad that Tsunade's come… you'll be fine now."

"You don't truly know –"

My words are cut off as she lightly kisses me and then leaves with a wide smile on her face. Leaving me sitting there in shock and confusion.

Wait… did she really just kiss me?

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Arashi, Sarutobi, and Jiraiya stand in silence in the observation room of Operating Room #4 where Hatake Kakashi now lays unconscious; being prepared for surgery.

"Tsunade's not actually doing the surgery, is she?" Sarutobi quietly asks.

Jiraiya shakes his head. "No, her hemophobia makes surgery impossible for her to do. She'll be standing back and observing, offering help if needed. But for the most part Shizune will be doing the surgery and Tsunade has told me that she has full confidence in her apprentice."

"That doesn't really help my nerves," Arashi mutters as he sits down. "And I don't really know if I should be watching this… it's going to be too long for me to sit here all nervous."

"Tsunade did predict that the surgery would be over six hours since they're doing everything at once," Jiraiya mutters, "Better for Kakashi's heart to only put him under once instead of multiple different times."

Jiraiya sits down beside his former student. "How much have you had to drink today?" he cautiously ask.

"More then I should," the Hokage replies… he's come to the realization that there's no point in hiding his drinking from his former sensei anymore because the man sees right through every lie he tells.

"Well… take comfort in the fact that for today you aren't alone in that," Jiraiya whispers as he gently squeezes Arashi's shoulder in comfort.

"They're starting," Sarutobi states as he stands by the window. "Let's hope for all our sakes that this is successful."

"Kakashi's been through too much to not pull through this," Jiraiya says in an attempt to comfort everyone.

But no comfort can be given to the shaking nerves of the only three people allowed to watch this dangerous surgery.

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Tsunade takes a deep breath as she slowly passes chain after chain of chakra through Kakashi's skin and into the child's lungs to remove the residue left in the air sacs after the Water Cure torture he had endured. She's almost done and is quite happy with the results so far.

She sighs in relief as the final chakra chain pulls out of Kakashi's body – nearly two hours after the first one entered – and empties its contents into the bowl on the nearby table. This is the only part of the surgery that she'll do herself because it's the only part of the surgery that doesn't involve blood.

Tsunade nods to Shizune and moves to the back of the room. Within the next hour Shizune is still operating on Kakashi's lungs to help repair the torn air sacs that Tsunade cleared earlier. This fact causes Tsunade to worry a little bit as it shouldn't be taking this long.

"Tsunade," Shizune's shaking voice breaks the still silence. "I think we're –"

Loud beeping cuts off Shizune's sentence and causes all the assistance nurses to spring into action.

"He's bleeding out!" Shizune's panicked voice yells out as she removes her arms from Kakashi's lungs and moves out of the way to allow the nurses to do their work.

Tsunade rubs her eyes in nerves and a desperate attempt to calm her racing heart. "Then stop the bleeding."

"His heart's failing!" A nurse calls out as another machine adds to the rapid beeping.

"We can't stop the bleeding!" Another nurse calls out.

"You're useless, focus!" Shizune mutters as she pushes a nurse out of her way.

The apprentice focuses chakra through her hands and into Kakashi's lungs to attempt to stop the bleeding that the nurses failed to contain.

"I've clotted the bleeding," Shizune states with a sigh of relief.

"His heart's still failing. He's going to go into congestive heart failure!"

"Tsunade!" Shizune yells out in panic. "We're going to lose him! What do we do?"

Tsunade mutters something inaudible under her breath. "Shock him!" she orders.

Shizune looks at her sensei in annoyance and shock. "How can we do that when the kid's chest is cut right open?"

"He's flat-lining!" A nurse calls out… her message being accompanied by the long, chilling tone of the heart monitoring machine.

Tsunade takes a deep breath and moves to her apprentices side. "Out of the way! And get me the paddles!"

"You can't shock him!" Shizune argues. "There's no skin to put the paddles on around the heart!"

"We don't need skin," Tsunade explains as she disconnects the paddles from their wires. "Just wire. And get in there and use your chakra to keep the kid's blood flowing!"

Shizune nods and moves to the other side of Kakashi… within seconds she has her chakra acting as a temporary heart – pumping blood back through the child's body.

Tsunade takes the two wire previously connected to the shock paddles and turns to face the unconscious body of her patient.

The blood that coats his skin causes Tsunade to freeze up and she makes no movement. Shizune curses under her breath and orders one of the nurses to take her place.

Shizune moves to Tsunade's side and takes the two wires from her sensei's shaking hands. She can hear Tsunade's short, panicked breaths. The young apprentice pushes Tsunade back so that she stands against the far wall.

"Forget about the blood," she whispers in urgency, "Where were you planning on placing the wires?"

"If we don't get his heart going soon we're going to lose him! There's going to be brain damage!" a nurse calls out in concern.

"Shut-up!" Shizune shouts back. She turns back to Tsunade and questions, in a quite tone: "Where do the wires go?"

"At… at…" Tsunade stammers as she tries to get her bearings. "I… I need to get out of here," she mutters.

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me where to put the goddamn wires!" Shizune orders. "After that you can go wherever your heart desires. Just tell me where the wires go!"

"On his… his heart."

"That will kill him!" Shizune rubs her eyes in frustration. "Are you insane! Have you lost your mind!"

"It's the only chance we have," Tsunade mutters, "It's either take the chance or Kakashi dies for sure. It's your choice now."

Shizune curses under her breath and returns to the operating table. She takes a deep breath and calls a nurse over to work the machine. The nurse that's using her chakra as a temporary heart removes her hands and steps back.

Shizune places the two wires on the still heart; one on the top right and the other on the bottom left. "Clear!" she calls out and the nurse presses the button on the machine that sends electricity down the wires.

The heart jumps but doesn't continue beating. Shizune shifts her grip on the wires to make sure she only touches the safe rubber covering and not the actual wires. "Clear!" she calls out again.

Again the heart jumps but doesn't continue on beating. Time after time Shizune shocks the heart but it doesn't seem to work.

The apprentice sighs and wipes the sweat off her forehead onto her shoulder. "Tsunade," she whispers, "We've lost him. Call the time of death."

The Sannin looks up from her slumped position sitting on the floor. "No."

Shizune whirls around in anger. "Just call the time of death! We've lost him, his heart isn't starting… it's dead!"

"One more time," Tsunade mutters.

Shizune sighs and turns back around. "Clear!" she calls out.

Again the heart is shocked and again nothing comes of it.

"It's done Tsunade... call the time of death," Shizune whispers.

"Just once more. I didn't come all the way here just for Kakashi to die on me," the Sannin mutters.

"No! Call the time of death!"

Tsunade's eyes flash with anger. "One more time!"

Shizune curses, once again, and shocks the kid's heart. "Nothing," she whispers.

Tsunade curses, quite colourfully, under her breath. "It can't…"

The heart monitoring machine starts to beep again… slowly at first but it begins to beat faster and faster – returning to the speed of a normal heart beat. Tsunade walks over to the monitoring machine and stares at the line as it slowly jumps up and down in time with the beeps. She turns her head to make eye contact with her apprentice.

Shizune shrugs. "It's beating. But the oxygen deprivation… he could have major brain damage… plus organ damage. We should stop the surgery – it's useless to continue if Kakashi's brain damaged."

"No," Tsunade says, "Continue with the surgery. Leave the lungs alone though; I don't want to risk him bleeding out again. What's not healed in the lungs will never be healed, let's just hope it's enough to allow him to breathe at least somewhat properly."

"Should I cut into his digestive tract or just stitch his chest closed and move on to the shoulders?" Shizune asks quietly.

"Just go to the shoulders… see what can be done to repair the nerves and tendons there."

Shizune nods and Tsunade returns to her place at the wall. She stands in quite concern as she watches the surgery from her position – making sure to not focus on any of the red liquid that just might be blood. She's absolutely amazed that the kid is still alive, that his heart managed to start beating after nearly twenty minutes of still silence.

Five hours later the surgery is over. The final operating time adding up to eight hours and twenty-three minutes; over two hours then predicted.

Tsunade leaves the operating room and makes her way up to the observation room. She knows that the surgery was a success in every way except for the seventeen minutes in which Kakashi's heart had flat-lined.

She pushes the door open and cringes at the immediate voice that reaches her ears.

"What happened!" Arashi yells at her.

Tsunade takes a deep breath. "He flat-lined… quite possibly at the worst time in the surgery too. But we got his heart beating again –"

"After twenty minutes!" Arashi interrupts. "How could you let that happen!"

"Calm down," Jiraiya whispers as he grabs his former student's shoulder to try and keep him in control. "Let Tsunade explain."

Arashi takes a deep breath and nods at the medic-nin.

"The surgery was successful in every aspect except when Kakashi's heart flat-lined for seventeen minutes. The damage in his shoulders and knees was repairable though there is going to be some permanent nerve damage to his left shoulder and some permanent damage to the tendons in his left knee. Both are minor enough that it shouldn't affect him too much." Tsunade sighs. "Unfortunately we couldn't completely clear his lungs for there was fear that he would bleed out and go into congestive heart failure again… so his lungs will have approximately fifty-five to sixty percent capacity ability but Kakashi should still be able to be a shinobi. Also, it was too risky to cut into his digestive tract so we didn't… hopefully will be able to keep his nutrition up with medication and meal plans."

"He flat-lined," Arashi whispers, "Did that not cause any permanent damage?"

Tsunade runs her hand tiredly through her hair. "We don't know. He's brain was deprived of oxygen for quite some time, along with his other organs, there may be damage there may not be."

Arashi visible pales. "Damage?" he questions, "As in brain damage?"

Tsunade sadly nods. "We won't know until he wakes up. Until then we can only hope that no permanent damage was done."

"When will he wake up?" Jiraiya asks, squeezing Arashi's shoulder tightly to try and steady the shaking Hokage.

"Probably not for a couple of days. I wouldn't recommend a lot of visitors when he first wakes up… we don't know what condition his brain will be in."

"Thank you Tsunade," Sarutobi speaks up, "But I think you should go now."

The medic-nin nods and quietly leaves – letting the three friends have their privacy to deal with the news of this surgery.

It might've been a success but Tsunade really hates the seventeen minutes that destroyed the prospect of delivering the news of a perfect surgery to the three waiting shinobis.

"Seventeen minutes," Tsunade mutters, "Just seventeen fucking minutes."

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Densetsu no Kamo: The Legendary Sucker – Tsunade's nickname in reference to her horrible luck with gambling.