Whoa. I forgot the disclaimer again haha.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything JtHM related! Weee!

I'm glad people reviewed :D

7/4/07: I am SO sorry this took forever to get out. I wrote half of it months ago and I forgot to write the rest of it. Heheh. :)

A wave of emotions crashed over her. Anger, Uneasiness, Hatred, Fear, Relief, Need. All those words she wanted to say to him if she ever got the chance again, were there and then gone in an instant. Leaving her speechless. Her palms began to sweat and her mouth became dry. Her breath became ragged as they just kept looking at each other. What is he thinking? Why is he here? What does he want from me?

She continued to stare at his blank expression.

His stomach churned and his heart began to beat faster. He brought his hand up to his chest. This feeling. This thing..pulsing inside me.. it feels like its going to break my chest. He opens his mouth to speak. Devi, I'm so sorry. Only warm air escapes. He runs his hand through his hair. Feeling something he hasn't felt in months, Nervousness. He stares deeply into her eyes. Seeing tons of emotions, not being able to pinpoint which one was hurting her the most. He feels something else, Pain. Not physically, but deep down inside. Something he couldn't cut off and still be able to function properly. How he just wanted to touch her once again. Feel her soft skin against his own. How he just wanted to hold her, Devi, the only other human he could ever care for. How he just wanted to taste her and do things he could never do with someone else. Another feeling, Desire. Please.. Just say something... Anything.

"Nn...Nny." She says with trembling lips. His eyes meet her solid gaze once again.

"Devi, I-..."

"It's simple; I like you. I enjoy our talks, when you come visit me at the bookstore. I like you for all those reasons people ask a person out for. There, I've said my thing, now I just hope your thoughts run along those same lines. If not, then I'll just get awkward and leave quietly, after killing you." She explains to him.

She looks at him with a dead serious expression. The two of them begin to fill the house with laughter.

"Aahhhh. Yeah, this is strange. What do I say? You are beautiful, I mean.. God, I'm so completely happy, right now. You've made me happy." He says with a smile.

"Good, then let's both be happy."
She leans towards him with lust filled eyes. He's nervous, unsure of what to do and moves closer to her. Her lips are aching to be touched. He leans in towards her, erasing any space between them.

The blood in his veins begins to race. His fingers twitch as his heart beats uncontrollably. Devi, Devi, happy, happy. I'm happy. She makes me happy. I'm.. happy. I need to touch her. I need to claim her as my own. She will be mine. I need to feel her body writhe under mine. She will be mine. This happiness.. I need to cherish it. I need to keep it to myself. I need to make this moment last forever.

"YES! YES! HAPPINESS! I'M HAPPY!"
Nny shouts as he backs away from her and moves into the next room.

"Nny! Where are you going?! NNY!!" The door slams shut.

"Happiness? Beautiful happinessss. Ahhhh, yesss, so rare. So lovely like the beautiful stars and the dreaming moon...a rapturouss alien sky after the oppressive shit-smear of clouds has broken; true pleazzure. Ssmile! And FEEL it!!"
One doughboy says.

"Mr. Fuck lies Johnny! No love, no happiness, no moon!! Nothing for you!! I speak the only truth! Untainted knowledge! Listen to m..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, PSYCHO-DOUGHBOY!! I'M IN NO MOOD FOR DEPRESSION!"

"YESSS! Go Nny! Don't let the beautiful moon set! Capture it!! Freeze it!! Forever in time with never the memory of losing it to another day!!"

A small knock at the door, before it creaks open.

"NNY?! Oh, there you..."
The door swings open.

"Nny? Nny, what are you doing?"
Devi's eyes widen as she focuses on the man in the middle of the room.

"Immortalizing the moment."
Nny says through clenched teeth. His hands gripping tightly to blades.

That look. In his eyes. That's not Nny. That's not my Nny. That's not the Nny I know. Johnny... what's happened to you?

"Umm.. Look, I had a really nice time tonight, but I'm sort of sensing a downward shift. So I'll be leaving now."

"No! You don't understand! I'm happy! I can't let you go. We've begun something lovely, and, as with all things that start, it, inevitably, ends! The beginning is always so fine! But decay soon follows, a degeneration into the tired, old situation. The rot sets in. This way, there is only the beauty of the start!"

"SHIT! STAY AWAY! I'M LEAVING AND I DON'T WANT YOU COMING NEAR ME!"

"I can't let you leave, Devi. I want you, always in my mind. Happiness is such a rare thing. I can't recall a bad memory for any of the others. They were all beautiful! All of them!! And now you!!"

"THEM?! GOD, HOW MANY?! OH, FUCK! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!"

"Please, be silent before you say something to spoil the mood."

And with that he lunges.

"Devi, I-"

"No... Don't...Don't talk," She whispers. Her voice beginning to crack, "Do you know.. what you put me through?"

He opens his mouth to speak.

"CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE... what my lifes been like, since you tried to... kill me?"

He shakes his head.

"I've spent too many nights, lying awake.. Waiting for you to come and finish what you've started. I told myself.. I wouldn't be scared.. If I ever got the chance, I'd kill you before you even had the chance to touch me. And.. now.. you're here and I can barely find it in me to lay a hand on you."
She moves closer to him, her hand tingles with anticipation.

You're such a beautiful boy.

She raises her hand slowly, almost as if to touch his face. With all her might, she swings her arm until her bare hand smacks across his face. He stumbles backwards, shocked from the sudden impact. He touches his face and looks up at her with apologetic eyes.

"I don't want to think about you anymore! I don't... And...I don't want to love you anymore.. But damn it... I just can't fool myself."
She whispers, more to herself than Nny. But he hears every word.

He finds that its the perfect opportunity to speak.

"I've-I've been writing you letters," He moves forward cautiously to see if shes planning on hitting him again, "I'm.. not really sure why.. But I have... so...just wanted to let you know.. I've... been thinking about you...too." He mumbles the last part.

She continues to stare down at the ground. He bends down a little and peeks his head up at her to see her reaction. When he's met with a blank expression, he fumbles with the pocket inside of his jacket. He pulls out a crinkled envelope and holds it out to her. She takes it and looks up at him hesitantly. He lets out a little smile. The envelope is addressed to her.
"That's just one... of the...hundred." He reaches into the other pocket and pulls out a thick stack of envelopes tied neatly together with a piece of string.

Devi hesitates to open it. She can barely keep her hands still enough to hold it. Finally, her thumb slips under the lip of the envelope and tears it open. She quickly grabs the paper and unfolds it, letting her eyes take in each and every letter.

Dear Devi,

At this exact moment of my life, I wish to describe it as a turning point. I now know that there is not just black and white in the world. In the middle, if you look hard enough you may see gray. I wish to find that gray abyss and once I do, I would like to spend some time there. It's been a few days since I called you with my recorded apology and you blew up. I deserved that. At this point of letter I would like to apologize. I know that if I were to ever come in contact with you, I probably would not be able to speak a single word. So what I want to say, and what I've been explaining in all the other letters, will be summarized here. I'm sorry for everything. You are the only other living thing that I have let come close to me. Till this day, I still don't know what you ever saw in me. I am a nobody, I'm not handsome or smart. I'm just a pale and skinny man that lives in a broken down house and hates to be alone at night. To drive you away was the stupidest thing I could ever do. I'm sorry for everything I have put you through. I am sorry for all the sleepless nights. I am sorry for the fear I have installed in you. I am sorry for the fright I must of given you that night as I lunged at you with knives. I am sorry for ever trying to harm you. I hope you can find it in the darkest, shallowest part of your heart to forgive me, for I am truely sorry.

I can understand if you rip up this letter and set me on fire. But if you don't, that's cool too. If I am to never see you again, I just want you to know this.
I love you. With all of the black hole that is my heart. You are the only person that can make my insides tingle and turn my limbs turn to mush. In some distant future, if I ever catch a glimpse of you in your new life, I will smile with you at joy and remember the nights on the cliff with you.

Love always,
Johnny C.

Devis expression was blank. It showed no trace of hate or fear. Johnny rocked uneasily on the soles of his shoes.

"Going to find the gray abyss, huh?" Devi finally said.

"Yes."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight.. right after I leave."
Devi nodded her head and pursed her lips.

"I'm coming with you."

Johnny was taken back. Devi, the girl that stayed locked up in her house and afraid to sleep because of Johnny, wanted to go with him?

"What are you waiting for?"
Her eyes meet his and for the first time, he notices that there is no longer a thick glaze covering them. Her brown eyes are as soft and gentle as the first day he met her. Johnny makes his way to the door and opens it. Devi flicks the lights off before exiting, Johnny trailing behind her. They walk down the concrete pathway, side by side. Johnnys hand bumps into hers and she grasps it with her own. He lets out a little smile. The two continue to walk down the street. The stars shine bright in the dark night sky. Devi and Johnny were on their way to find the gray abyss, together. After they make a quick stop to 24-7, for a cherry doom brainfreezy.

The End:D!
I was planning on making this story at least 10 chapters long. But after them finally coming in contact with each other, I thought that it would be a perfect place to end it. : ) Thank you to all the reviewed every update. You guys are aweeeesommeee. :)
Please review one last time:D