1Title: The Boxer

Chapter 5

Author: Azure K Mello

Verse: The first of two stories in the 90 days 'verse.

Spoilers/Timeline: Set in Year Seven but ignores all of book six. So it could be called AU/Future fic/ Pre-canon , I don't mind what you call it.

Summery/Warnings: Blackmail, shame, hatred, disgust, degradation, and true love.

Pairings: H/D non-con, H/Sev non-con

Date: February 1998

Beta by the awesome D. Gray. Any mistakes remaining are mine alone.

Harry was being carried into the Chamber of Secrets in strong arms, he looked up to see Severus and murmured, "I hurt all over."

Severus nodded and said, "Just relax," he sat down on the couch still holding Harry and said, "Do you want Madame Pomfrey to look at it?"

"You took care of me, I'm fine, just stay here. Tell me a story?" asked Harry looking down at his dressed wound.

Nodding Severus said, "Once there was a fool who thought to stop a flesh eating curse by stepping in front of its target and almost lost his entire leg. He would have if it wasn't for our hero, the Potion Master."

"A nice story," demanded Harry.

"Would you like a drink?" asked Severus with a sigh.

Harry nodded, "Anything cold."

He was on his stomach in bright sunlight with a cold drink in his hand. He opened his eyes and asked, "How's your book?"

Severus glanced up and said, "It's fascinating. How's tanning?"

"Highly productive. Aren't you glad we came to Greece?"

"Potter, I'm trying to read.

"Hermione, it's a wonderful book. I'm pleased for you."

"Thanks, Harry, that means a lot."

"Is it going to be published? Who's read it?"

She nodded, "Looks like it will be printed soon. Some really important people read it."

The table was comfortable and worn and Molly was looking at him with so much kindness in her eyes as she said, "We don't blame you. You've been a part of this family since you were eleven. He's dead but you're no less a part of us." And he was being hugged in warm, soft arms.
Malfoy had him cornered and was saying, "If you follow my directions, Professor Snape will never find out about your pathetic adoration. I know your sick secret. You're disgusting. Now, if you don't want anyone to find out you're going work for it."

The image was so sharp that Severus knew it was a memory but then it went cloudy and a voice, that sounded like Sirius Black's said, "It's ten minutes a day, that's it. And in exchange you'll get all those classes and training sections without him belittling your feelings, it's worth it. He won't hurt you if he doesn't realize you love-"

"-this dress! I can't believe today is finally here!" Hermione was saying happily.

"I can't believe that I'm the best man and yet I'm doing up the bride's buttons," Harry replied without any hurtfulness in his voice.

"Neville doesn't need help dressing," she said playing with her hands. "Is your boy out there?"

"He's old enough to be your father and he isn't a possession to be mine," Harry corrected.

"So he's not here?"

"He doesn't attend ex-student's weddings."

"But for you-"

"What so he can see me in dress robes or support my friends? That's not him. He puts up with you and doesn't begrudge me my friendships."

"But if you asked him to-"

"I don't want him to change. He could pretend to adore you but he wouldn't be happy. I didn't see him and think, 'There's a nice fixer upper, I can mold him to my will!' I saw him and knew that he was the most beautiful, strong, brave man I would ever meet. I don't want him to be someone else. Thank God, the buttons are done! Lets get out there before Nev decides we've done a runner."

As they stepped into the Weasley's back garden, where the service was being held, Harry's eyes fell upon Severus. Severus, who was still in Harry's mind watching everything, had been expecting to see some highly glorified version of himself. So he was surprised when he saw that Harry's perfect Snape was no different than the real version: hooked nose, too dark eyes, sallow skin, and greasy hair.

Harry felt his mouth go dry and he whispered, "And then he manages to shock me and make me even happier. God, he's hot."

Hermione's eyes widened and she said, "Harry, he's-"

"Buttons! Don't say a word. I just did up fifty-six-"

"-minutes. Nearly an hour to clean six measly pots!" screamed a woman who looked to Severus' mind like a too thin, ugly version of Lily. He looked at the pots that would have taken hours to scrub. And he looked at the little boy, perhaps five years old, who was holding a scrim-pad and looked like he was about to cry.

Again the clarity of the image told Severus that this was a memory but just as the woman pulled her arm back to hit her nephew things went cloudy and slow. And she let her arm down and said, "No dinner. Go to bed now!"

Harry moved quickly away and Severus was surprised to watch the boy go into the cupboard under the stairs. There he collapsed tiredly onto a little cot and looked at a drawing, well a scribble really, that was labeled, "Mummy and Daddy and me" he fell asleep after mere moments.

Remus had a job, a real, paying, secured job. Beauxbatons didn't care about his blood, just his skills. He was hugging Harry and saying, "You'll have to come visit me in France!" and Harry was smiling and nodding.
"This will work," assured a tired sounding Severus.

Sighing Harry said, "I can't believe you asked Mrs. Weasley about my Dragon Pox."

"You've been ill for a week. She's nursed seven children through this."

"I'm not a child!" Harry was irritated, had been for days, he hated being sick.

"No," Severus agreed. "And it's so much more dangerous for adults."

No longer angry Harry said, "I itch everywhere."

"Oatmeal and pixy egg bath, Molly swears by it."

"Undress me?" asked Harry softly.

Concerned Severus said, "Are you so ill?"

"No," Harry almost laughed.

Severus thought it had been going on long enough. He could finish this. He had to come, he had no choice, he was being carefully watched. Feeling positively nauseous he forced himself to fill Potter with his seamen. He had never felt so disgusted by his actions, not since the prophesy. He thought that perhaps when he pulled out he could grab the Portkey that had been seemingly forgotten about. One could only Apparate into the graveyard, not out of it. He could perhaps at least get Potter back to the relative safety of school.

But as Severus disengaged himself from his student the boy came out of the trance. Harry eyes snapped open and he sat up. Severus felt power strumming through the young man and finally understood why Dumbledore valued the boy's emotions, somehow his feelings had broken the spell Voldemort had placed on him. Green and red shields sprung up around them before Harry could even think of a spell for it.

He screamed, "Avada Kedavra." There was no pointed wand, no jet of green light, it was more of a sheet lightening that struck everyone in the necropolis besides himself and Severus. He fell back to the floor, unconscious. The magic use, the shame, all the happy thought had exhausted his ability to stay there. He slipped into his own mind. As Severus picked up the limp boy he mumbled "Ninety days," over and over.

With Voldemort dead Severus looked around, found Harry's jeans and trainers and his wand, redressed him, and easily Apparated them both back to the castle gate. The boy was so cold and limp, it felt like he was carrying a corpse. He slowly walked through the halls, carrying the young man. Just as Severus was about to enter the Infirmary Harry opened his eyes and said, "No, please, I can't go in there. I just. . . I want to go to the Chamber. Please, don't take me in there."

"You're bleeding," Severus said softly.

"I think most virgins do. Please, I don't want to go in there."

The words again reminded Severus of how young the boy was. He had raped this child. It didn't matter that Potter was legally an adult, he was a young man who had been his responsibility to protect. "Alright," he said finally and turned from the door and headed away to the stairs to go down a floor.

Harry said softly, "I can walk," but the words were weak.

"You're injured and tired. Just stay still, we'll be there in a moment."

For a few moments the boy was quiet but then started to entreat again. "Forget about today? Banish it from your mind." Severus didn't understand what he meant until Harry added, "After all, if you know, ninety days of my time will have been wasted." It was supposed to be a joke but Severus could not even force a weak smile. It hit him hard in the chest, Potter didn't care about the rape, he only cared about his secret. And the realization made him feel even sicker, he had taken everything from the young man.

"I can't forget what I've done," he said as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

Harry seemed resigned as he nodded and he asked, in an even softer tone, "Will you talk to Dumbledore for us both? I don't want to have to see him. You can tell him whatever you feel he needs to know, I'll back you up no matter what you say."

Severus said nothing just placed the boy on his feet next to the sink in the girl's toilet. There was nothing he could say but Potter was still looking at him, not meeting Severus' eyes but still studying him. Finally Harry said, "I'm so sorry."

"Potter the war is over."

"Yeah, I know, maybe. I'm just sorry, for everything."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Severus said, trying to make Potter look him in the eye.

But Harry looked down as he shook his head and said, "No, you've nothing to apologize for. You kept us both safe. I'm a fool and a bastard. That's no one's fault but my own."

"Potter-"

"Please, sir, I think I've embarrassed us both enough for one day. There's no need to say anything."

"You're neither a fool or a bastard," finished Severus. "You're just a boy."

Harry flinched at the words but said, "Right. I'm going down into the Chamber. When's the next meal?"

"Supper's in two hours. But I'm sure Albus will want to make an announcement so you might want to avoid the Great Hall. I could bring you a plate."

"No. I'll not come but I won't have you putting yourself out. I'm sure Dobby will bring me something when he realizes I'm not there, he always takes care of me."

The Potion Master saw that Harry was leaning heavily against the sink and asked, "Can I at least help you into the Chamber?"

Shaking his head Harry said, "Honestly, you've been nothing but kindness today. But we've both fulfilled our roles and you don't need to care anymore."

"I raped you not an hour ago," Severus said feeling like something was about to snap inside of him.

"No, you didn't. Under any other circumstances I would have been thrilled to get to be with you. The only person raped was you, Professor. So don't worry about me. I'm going to go shower and get some sleep before the fan mail and Howlers start to arrive. Good evening." He opened the sink and then without turning back said, "I can start to pay you back for today. I'll drop Potions."

"You want to be an Auror, you can't do that without Advanced Potions."

Harry laughed tiredly as he said, "I want lots of things, it doesn't really seem to make much of a difference. You'll be benefiting at least, that's good." Without another word he dropped down into the pipe.

Down in the Chamber he stripped quickly and set the blood covered jeans on fire before throwing them into the fireplace. He didn't want to look at them. It was true that he'd wanted to be with Severus but not on the ground, in a graveyard, surrounded by Death Eaters. He'd wanted Severus to want him too. He passed into the shower where the snakes hissed hellos and asked why he smelt of blood and dirt and shame and he said, "I killed Voldemort and had sex with Severus." As he adjusted the heat of the water he said, "I always thought I'd have had a real kiss before I had sex. And not a Cho Chang, wet-because-she-was-crying-and-was-actually-kissing-her-dead-boyfriend-while-using-my-mouth type kiss. Does that sound really stupid?"

"Our first master cared for nothing but blood and power. Our second cared for nothing but immortal power. Love does not seem so foolish."

Harry nodded but said, "Power can be dead useful though." The snakes gave a collective hissing laugh and Harry asked, "What?"

"You have more power than they could have ever hoped for."

"Don't be silly," Harry chided.

"Don't dig for compliments, young master."

"You can't be serious."

"Slytherin would cower to you."

"I'm not as susceptible to your praise as your other masters." He laughed, not realizing that it wasn't empty flattery. He washed himself gingerly. He was so sore and cold. The heat of the water barely touched him. Resting his head against the wall he sighed and said, "Severus knows, and he was nice about it." He stepped out of the shower and was dry and dressed in warm pajamas with a wave of his wand.

A fire was burning in the bedroom and Harry slipped gratefully under the covers.

In the Headmaster's office Severus made no preamble he said simply, "Voldemort is dead and you need to fire me."

"Do you mean you wish to resign?" asked Albus without asking about Voldemort.

"No, I mean a dishonorable discharge."

"Why?"

"I raped a student and got behind his mental shields to 'comfort' him. Fire me."

"You raped Harry?" asked Albus sounding highly incredulous.

"He doesn't see it that way, but yes."

"How does he see it?"

"As protection."

"Well," said Albus slowly, "I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Potter."

"You have to fire me, I molested a student!"

"He's seventeen, an adult. If you want to leave you must resign."

"I can't! There's a lot going on, I can't resign. You need to fire me."

"What else is going on?"

"He has. . . an affection for me. If I resign he'll think he's at fault."

"Severus, my dear boy, why do you suddenly care about what Harry Potter thinks?"

"He's been through enough," Severus said tiredly.

Albus nodded and then said, "When considering a relationship with a pupil it's best to keep it from the Headmaster."

"There's no relationship!"

"Well, of course not publicly, no. But you're both adults and he'll soon be out of school."

"He's dropping my class."

"You'll tutor him privately, without grading, that way there can be no questions as to ethics."

"He doesn't want to be anywhere near me. I raped him. But, having said that, I need to bring his some healing potions later. He also killed fourteen Death Eaters. The bodies are in the graveyard. I'll come to talk to you about my dismissal after supper."

Leaving, he called for Dobby and told him to bring two meals down to the Chamber when tea was served. Afterwards he went to the Gryffindor tower and told Neville Longbottom to go down to the Chamber. He then went to the Slytherin common room and found Malfoy on a couch surrounded by a group of people who were obediently laughing at his words.

"Draco," he said, "I need a word with you in my office." And then announced to the room in general that he needed to meet with many of them and listed off the order in which they were to come to him. He left with Malfoy close behind him.

In his office he showed Malfoy to a chair and then said, "Bad news, Draco, your parents, aunt, and uncle are dead. You are an orphan and a ward of this school. As they died under the service of Voldemort," Draco flinched at the name he had never heard out of Snape's mouth and the man sneered and continued, "your family's assets and estates will go to the Ministry. After that they will be given to the savior of our world, Harry Potter, in reparation. You will receive a small amount of money to see you on your way. Now, generally, as Head of your House I would offer you condolences, comfort, and sympathy. However, I am aware of your recent activities with Mr. Potter and so I offer you none. You have behaved appallingly. I have never been so ashamed of a student in my care. You have brought ignominy upon yourself, this House, and your name. You have exemplified the worst qualities of a Slytherin: you're the reason my House is treated with disdain."

"You taught me to exploit situations," argued Malfoy.

"Yes, situations, not people, not the way you did it. There was nothing to gain through your actions. Besides making Potter ashamed there is no tangible result of your dealings. Now, as the information you were blackmailing him with concerns no one but him and me, it will be nowhere near as detrimental to us as it will be to you if it gets out. If you tell anyone of his affections I will contact every paper and periodical published in the wizarding world and will tell them what you've done."

"Surely," Draco sounded bemused, "you can't be okay with his feelings?"

"You've never had a true feeling in your life. It's not disgusting or awful. You're an emotionless, sick being. Harry Potter is a normal young man. Now leave, tell Gregory to come to me next."

His students filed through his office. He informed them of their parents deaths, offered them all the comforts he could. He was shocked when Gregory Goyle asked if he had to go home to his mother saying, "Please, don't send me back there. She wasn't one of them but she supported them. With You-Know-Who gone. . ." Over two thirds of the children were frightened of going back to surviving parents and relatives. He assured them that they were safe and he would do everything in his power to secure their futures.

He went back to Dumbledore, feeling exhausted, to discuss making sure the students had funds to start their lives and to talk about how to emancipate the students who were under seventeen. When they'd finished discussing it Albus said, "You can't consider leaving now. Can you?"

Severus shook his head saying, "You should fire me. But I cannot resign with my House in this state."