Chapter 5

The Mabudachi Trio and The Best Sox Game EVAR!11

Part 2

" Alright. We're going." Said Hatori, standing next to the door with Shigure and Ayame who were wearing outifts that said I HEART SOX. They tried to make Hatori wear one… but it didn't work. AWWW… And don't worry. That doesn't mean Ayame is wearing pants. (chuckles like Kureno) He had made a dress-thingy that had I HEART SOX sewn into it.

" I put the numbers to call if you need anything on the refrigerator." Hatori told Momiji. He didn't bother to tell Haru. Haru has a hard time FINDING the refrigerator much less reading a sticky note on it.

" What are we gonna EAT?" Momiji whined.

" You'll eat what we GIVE you! Now be quiet!" Shigure scolded randomly.

" I made you some tuna casserole." Hatori sighed, ignoring Shigure. He wished that he could just stay home and eat the tuna casserole himself.

" TUNA! EWWWWW!" Momiji shrieked as if tunafish had offended him at sometime in his life.

" …GROSS." Haru said like Napoleon Dynamite.

" What's wrong with Tuna?" Hatori asked. HATORI made it after all. And Hatori can cook like… PSHAW! When he cooks things you just have to eat them!

" I hate tuna! Can we order pizza?" Momiji pleaded.

"…no." Hatori decided. " I'm not going to waste money when you have a perfectly good casserole inside."

" WAAAAH! HARI, YOU'RE MEAN!" Momiji cried and ran into the other room. Don't worry. Later he'll forget and try the tuna casserole and like it. OH WELL!

" Yeah. You suck." Said Haru and walked off aimlessly to his room where he will eat off his supply of Slim Jims and Joojoo Beans.

" You sure do have a way with children." Shigure chuckled like Kureno.

" What is THAT supposed to mean?"

" WOULD YOU TWO QUIT WASTING TIME! I'm so excited about this SOX game that I can't even sleep!" Ayame yelled, and pointed at the door. " OPEN THIS DOOR FOR ME!"

" Why would you be sleeping in the evening, standing up, anyway?" Hatori asked as he dutifully opened the door.

" Listen, Tori-san. Just because Hiro is the horse, it doesn't mean HE'S the only one that can sleep standing up." Ayame chuckled like Kureni, shaking his head at Hatori.

"… RIN is the horse. And she doesn't sleep standing up." Hatori told Ayame slowly.

" HURRY! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!" Shigure cheered, pushing them both out of the house. Hatori carefully locked the door behind them and then they walked over to Hatori's crazy old car. What's that? You want to know what kind of car it is? It's an AMERICAN car! He shipped it from America because APPARENTLY Japanese cars just aren't good enough for him!

MAN!

" I CAN'T WAIT!" Shigure enthused as Hatori put the car keys into the ignition.

" I CAN'T WAIT MORE!" Ayame replied, and both of them looked expectantly at Hatori who just looked at the car as if wishing it wouldn't start. But unfortunately Hatori's American Car revved up, and the engine was running SMOOTHLY.

" We're going to have to stop and get gas." Hatori noted outloud, looking at the gas meter.

" WHAT!" Shigure and Ayame yelled.

" The tanks almost empty." Hatori told them, and started to wheel his way out of the drive.

" WHAT?" Shigure said again.

" Tori-san, you know, out of all the annoying things that can happen right before you force a friend to drive you to an event you've been looking forward to, the gas tank NOT being full is the most annoying of them all!" Ayame said huffily, and crossed his arms and looked out the window.

" Sorry." Said Hatori because he knows that IS true. He drove up to the conviently placed nearby Buddy Barn Gas Station and stopped the car. " Okay. I'm going to go pay for the gas. You two wait here."

" No." Said Shigure and Ayame.

" We're coming with you." Said Shigure.

" You might get MUGGED!" Ayame told Hatori when he raised an eyebrow.

" I have to use the restroom." Shigure said truthfully.

"…fine." Said Hatori since he doesn't REALLY care. He's just going to sit back and let this journey to the SOX game blow it's course… Yesiree. So they walked into the Buddy Barn Gas Station together. As soon as they did, Shigure made an announcement.

" PEANUTS! We must buy peanuts." He said as if it were the most important thing in the world. " And cracker jack."

" …what?" Said Hatori.

" Oh! BRILLIANT idea, Gure-san! Fetch!" Ayame cheered as Shigure lunged for the nearest peanut stand.

" Why do you need to buy food here? They'll be selling stuff at the game." Hatori groaned.

" TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME, TAKE ME OUT TO THE CROWD!" Shigure and Ayame started singing very loudly.

" Welcome to Buddy Barn Gas Station!" Said That Buddy Barn Guy, looking to appear in every Shoopuf Dude story I ever write in my life.

" BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND… CRACKER JACK! I DON'T CARE IF I EVER GET BACK!" Shigure and Ayame continued to sing, while Hatori ignored That Buddy Barn Guy for a minute.

" Okay, okay, shut up. Give me your stupid food and let's just get out of here." Hatori grumbled and snatched two bags of Cracker Jack and two Planters Peanuts packets off the rack. Shigure and Ayame continued to sing the song just to annoy him.

" Here you go." Hatori told That Buddy Barn Guy, who was giving him a bug-eyed look.

" I know YOU." Said That Buddy Barn Guy.

" Hmm…" Said Hatori reflectively.

" YOU'RE Mr. Redundant." That Buddy Barn Guy accused.

" I really just want to buy the food and go." Hatori sighed.

" Fine. Just fine. But don't think I've forgotten how you treated me, Mr. Redundant." Said That Buddy Barn Guy and Hatori got the sudden urge to erase That Buddy Barn Guy's memory, but of course he didn't. And even if he did, it's not like it would WORK or anything. That Buddy Barn Guy has an impenetrable mind of STEEL!

" And I need gas on… oh." Hatori realized he hadn't even checked what pump he was on. FOOLIGAN! He apologized to That Buddy Barn Guy who gave him a disgusted look, and went outside to read the pump.

When he reached the pump, he noticed… A LETTER! How mysterious! And ignoring his better Hatori judgement, he unfolded it and read it. After all, it was just LAYING there on HIS car.

It said this.

Dearest Hatori Sohma,

I recommend the magenta robes.

MOST Sincerely

Then it was blank. Hatori frowned very deeply. ONE creepy stalker letter is ONE thing, since, being Hatori, he got them all the time. TWO… is also no big deal, so he just tossed the letter into the wind and walked back into the gas station to buy gas. Then he waited for Shigure and Ayame to quit making fools of themselves in front of the bathroom mirrors.

" Why couldn't you two just have come alone?" He sighed as they walked back out to the car.

" You know what they say, Tori-san!" Ayame said happily, although he had no idea what it was that they said.

" Two's company… THREE'S A MABUDACHI!" Shigure supplied and they all skipped into the car. Hatori put in the gas, hopped into the car, and they were good to go! Hurrah!

But last time I was following Kureno to get to Rainbow Road, Hatori realized as he began to drive. So how the hell do I find my way to a Sox Game in the middle of America?

" HATORI…" Came a mysterious voice. " USE the Shoopuf…"

" You get sadder and sadder everyday, don't you?" Hatori asked.

" Yes…" I admitted.

So Hatori decided to just drive around until something met him. It would come and come and he would meet it when he did! And THAT kind of wisdom doesn't come from Tohru. It comes from HAGRID!

" YOSH! A sticker of… Fred Flinstone!" Shigure said, giving Ayame the thumbs up once he pulled his Cracker Jack Prize out of the bag.

" Shigure, I thought you were supposed to eat that at the game." Said Hatori.

" I CAN'T FIND IT! I CAN'T FIND THE PRIZE!" Ayame yelled in panicked tones, shaking his Cracker Jack Bag and getting crumbs everywhere.

" Calm down." Said Hatori.

" But… MY PRIZE!" Ayame gasped in protest. " Why don't I get one! Why should my bag be any different than anyone elses! WHY SHOULD MY BAG NOT BE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSES!" And with that, he ripped the bag in two and cracker jack went flying everywhere.

" AYAME!" Hatori yelled.

" We'll clean it up!" Shigure said happily, and began to eat some of the cracker jack while Hatori thought of how sticky and uncomfortable his carseats would be now.

" THERE IS NO PRIZE ANYWHERE!" Ayame bellowed, digging through all of the scattered cracker jack to no avail. " I DEMAND A PRIZE!"

" Here's a My Little Pony." Said Shigure, holding up a My Little Pony.

" That's Akito's." Hatori corrected.

" TURN AROUND! WE MUST TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND AND CLAIM A RIGHTFUL PRIZE!" Ayame demanded.

" No." Said Hatori.

" Surely, Tori-san, you don't suggest I just-"

" NO." Said Hatori in a super-scary voice and Ayame gave an angry huff, and kept making little irritable noises for the next twenty minutes while Shigure ate all the cracker jack. Then he tried sticking the Fred Flinstone sticker on Ayame's forehead to cheer him up but it didn't work.

All of a sudden… there was a BLINDING LIGHT! And they were all suddenly riding on Escaflowne's Dragon Guymelef form!

" HOLD ON GUYS!" Vaan screamed.

" Kyo-kun?" Shigure said curiously.

" What the hell?" Hatori said slowly, looking down at Gaia.

" Hmph." Said Ayame, still mad about his Cracker Jack.

Then there was another FLASH! And they were back on the road, only THIS time they were in… wherever it is the Sox play! I'm guessing New York. And if I'm wrong… DON'T QUESTION NORTH DAKOTA!

" Ayame, I'll buy you… something. When we get there." Said Hatori because Ayame's moping is a lot worse than Ayame's spazzing.

" Okay!" Ayame said excitedly because a present from Hatori is like a present from Santa Clause! Only… BETTER.

" What about me?" Shigure whined.

" You already got a sticker."

" I don't care about the stupid sticker!" Shigure said and began to cry fakely. " I want a present!"

Hatori was just about to erased both of their memories of ANYTHING having to do with cracker jack, when suddenly a man on a motorcycle drove up to them and tapped on their window. We'll call him Motorcycle Jake. Hatori rolled down his window.

" Are you three going to the SOX game?" Motorcycle Jake asked.

" Yes." Said the Mabudachi Trio. How could they understand each other? The magic of the BABELFISH!

" Then follow ME!" Said Motorcycle Jake and sped confidently into the night. The Mabudachi Trio blinked at each other, then decided to just to follow him. Through the night, they FOLLOWED HIM! And the Highway Man came riding… riding… RIDING… the Highway Man came RIDING-

" Here we are!" Said Motorcycle Jake. Everyone looked up at a giant stadium of doom with about a million people crowding it. Motorcycle Jake gave them a hearty grin, then sped off on his motorcycle into the night and exploded.

" We're in AMERICA! Where the bonds of Akito's curse will never reach us!" Shigure cheered. Then he hit himself over the head with his fist and shrieked, " BAD DOBBY!"

" Nope." Shigure chuckled like Kureno. " Still there!"

" Are you sure you two want to go to the Sox Game? Don't want to do something else?" Hatori asked them. He was feeling a lot better. He was in AMERICA, after all. Land of the Free! FREE IDIOTS! DA-HUCK!

" Going somewhere else…?" Ayame and Shigure ventured.

" I dunno… maybe a play or a musical… or something…" Hatori said sounding steadily more and more self-concious when Shigure and Ayame gave him big grins. "… I hear Broadway is really good…"

" You're cute." Shigure said, patting Hatori on the head. " But no."

" Fine." Said Hatori glumly, and opened the doors of the car and started to march moodily off through the gates, then remembered Shigure had the tickets, so turned around to wait for them.

" I'M HATORI! I LIKE BALLET!" Shigure said in a high-pitched voice, doing a fancy little twirl over to where Hatori was standing. " DANCING, DANCING, DANCING!" He said the last part in engrish. HOO-DEE-HOO!

" Shut up. I do not." Said Hatori.

" Yes you DO." Ayame tittered. " Remember when we were kids and we used to watch Cats and The Nutcracker, and you danced around?"

" YOU made me." Hatori lied, and starting looking around to make sure no one heard Ayame, even though they're in a foreign country where no one knows them.

" Welly welly well then! Shall we go?" Shigure exclaimed, and did another little ballerina twirl all the way to the ticket booth. Ayame did the same thing and followed him. Hatori just walked, no matter how much you wished he did so otherwise.

" SHREE, PLEEZU." Shigure said in very bad engrish, even though the Babelfish could have saved this kind of embarassing fun.

" To your right." Said the exploding ticket person. Yes, I realize going to a SOX game isn't the same as going to a movie, but having never BEEN to a SOX game and to a movie plenty of times, we'll just pretend it works like this.

" I don't know if we got very good seats…" Said Shigure doubtfully, holding up their ticket stubs.

" PRESENT! NOW!" Ayame demanded when they come to a stand. Hatori sighed and shelled out a bunch of yen. Luckily… the guy running the booth was blind and didn't realize he was being payed yen instead of dollars. His supervisor will yell at him and… I've just depressed myself.

Hatori bought Ayame one of those giant hands because he thought it fit Ayame very well. And because Shigure was whining so much, he bought HIM a smoothie to shut him up. Then Hatori bought himself a bowl of chili, because it was warm and maybe… JUST maybe… it would MELT THE SNOW!

As it turned out, their seats were not very good at all. In fact, they couldn't even see the game, because they were in the very, very back.

" AWWW!" Shigure and Ayame whined.

" Gee, if you had told me I would have brought a book to read or something." Said Hatori sarcastically, and Ayame poked him with his giant finger.

" We deserve MUCH better than this." Ayame declared.

" You're right, Aya. We do." Said Shigure, and he and Ayame got out of their seats and started marching down the aisle. Hatori tried to ignore them, and ate his Chili, then sighed and got up to follow them down.

" THESE seats look much better." Said Shigure upon reaching the very front row and three empty seats that were there.

" Shigure, we can't just take these seats." Hatori protested, but then Shigure and Ayame plopped down into the seats like they BELONGED there.

" GO SOX!" Shigure and Ayame cheered.

" But…" Hatori said weakly, and stood there for a few seconds hoping his best friends would see the errors of their ways. YEAH RIGHT! So Hatori just sat down very reluctantly at the last seat and continue to eat his Chili.

" HEY!" Came a deep voice, and everyone turned around to see a very big man with two very big friends that looked creepily like very ugly wrestler versions of the Mabudachi Trio on steroids. We'll call them The Hatori, The Shigure, and The Ayame.

" Those are OUR seats." Said The Shigure in a very scary voice.

" I think you must be mistaken." Said the real Shigure calmly, and took a deep sip out of his smoothie.

" NO, YOU MISTAKEN!" Said The Hatori, whose volcabulary is very low.

" Yare, Yare! Most uncouth!" Ayame sniffed.

" You guys, we can't just steal their seats." Hatori muttered under his breath.

" Give us our SEATS, you girly little Japanese men!" The Shigure boomed, while The Hatori and The Ayame nodded. The Ayame doesn't know how to talk. But he can grunt up a storm!

Now Hatori may be a gentleman, but he is also a JAPANESE man, and he won't take anyone insulting his country or his and Shigure's manlihood. So he gave them the Hatori glare of doom and said very slowly, " I think you'll find three seats free in the back. The FAR back."

Something about Hatori's glare of doom frightened The Manly Mabudachi Trio, so they backed down, but only after The Ayame took Hatori's chili and chucked it at him. Hatori looked down with disgust at the messy chili dripping all over his shirt and looked around. " I need a napkin."

" Take it off!" Shigure and Ayame cheered.

" No!" Hatori retorted, sounding scandalized.

" TAKE IT OFF!" Shigure and Ayame cheered again, and a lot of other people started chanting it with them. Hatori subcumbed to peer pressure, turned REALLY red, and took off his shirt. He started to get up to go to the restroom, but Shigure, who was sitting next to him grabbed his hand and made him sit.

" You're at a SOX game Haa-san! Live a little! Here." Shigure whipped out a magical writer's magic marker and slashed a big X on Hatori's chest.

" Shigure!" Hatori snapped, and started to rub out the X, but it was hard to get off.

" Now THAT'S team spirit!" Said some random exploding guy in the background.

" Now you're showing your support." Said Shigure.

" No I'm not. You two have clothes on. I'm just sitting here with an X on my bare chest." Hatori muttered, burying his face in his hands while several people on the other side of the stadium died from excessive nosebleeds.

" Oh well!" Shigure chuckled like Kureno.

" I should have never come…" Hatori moaned.

" Don't say that! Come on! The games about to start!" Shigure cheered, which triggered the game starting.

The home team was, of course, the SOX. DUUUUUUH. I don't feel like looking up another Baseball Team so… they were playing against the Al Bhed Psyches! CRAY-ZAY!

" Hum-badda-hum-badda-badda-badda-badda-BIIIIIIIIIING…!" Said the SOX Team all at the same time, and began marching onto the field like an army. And kept saying it.

" OUI FUUGEN SLAMPH DAHN!" Said the Al Bhed Psyches in their stupid excuse for a language that's no better than a stupid logic problem and that I will never have the desire to learn EVER.

" And… they're off!" Said That Buddy Barn Guy as everyone started playing baseball spontaneously. He served as the announcer for the game. He ALSO served as ref.

I wish I could tell you about the VERY exciting Baseball game, but this fanfic is about Fruits Basket, not baseball. And I hate baseball. So instead, I will tell you what the Mabudachi Trio did during the game.

Hatori couldn't get himself into the game no matter how hard he tried. So he just sat there without a shirt on and wished that they had gone to a ballet instead.

Ayame kept pointing his big finger at people and yelling, and wondered why he hadn't gotten a big pointy finger earlier in his life. He wasn't watching the game.

Shigure payed attention to the game goes he LUBBS baseball! Well… actually…

" Get the ball get the ball get the ball!" Shigure repeated over and over. " Throw the ball, throw it, throw it, please, one more time, throw it, PLEEEEEASE throw it!" His eyes didn't leave the baseball the whole time.

" …you are really very sad." Hatori told Shigure.

Then the game ended with the Al Bhed Psyches blowing the SOX up with ANCIENT MACHINA! YAHOO! Everyone clapped, and that was it. And if you were expecting anything more than that, you deserve NO shirtless Hatori! (slap)

" Well… let's go home." Said Hatori gratefully.

" Awww…" Said Shigure and Ayame.

" There were no dancing girls." Said Shigure.

" Where are the dancing girls? WE WANT DANCING GIRLS!" Ayame demanded, pointing his big finger at no one in particular.

" Come on, let's GO." Hatori growled, and jerked Shigure and Ayame to their feet, and they started to dutifully follow him out of the stadium. UNFORTUNATELY… Hatori bumped into a lady who wasn't looking where she was going! And you know what happened THEN…

" Haa-san!" Shigure cried, and caught the little seahorse Hatori by the tip of it's tail. Ayame grabbed Hatori's clothes. Luckily, the random lady had fainted upon being more than two inches to Hatori's bare chest. It takes a strong, strong woman to stay concious in front of half-naked Hatori. She exploded anyway so OH WELL!

" Great. Just GREAT." Said the Hatori Seahorse angrily, and gave a little meep. " This is great."

" Oh, get over it, Haa-san." Shigure sighed as if turning into a seahorse was no big deal. " At least you don't have to walk around bare-chested anymore!"

That's true. Thought seahorse Hatori, and went quiet. Then he had to put up with Shigure and Ayame saying, ' WHOSE a pathetic excuse for the dragon? You are! YOU ARE!'

" TATSU! CHIBI TATSU!"

" If you say that ONE more time…!"

" ARGH! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Shigure and Ayame yelled randomly and started to run as fast as they could. Hatori caught a brief glimpse of the Wrestler Mabudachi Trio trampling over people to get to them with their fists raised, when suddenly the world went very dark and he hit something soft.

Unfortunately, Hatori's little seahorse cranium is SO small that the impact knocked him out. What he missed what a narrow escape from The Manly Mabudachi Trio in which Ayame and Shigure were forced to run for their lives. They threw Hatori into Ayame's big finger thing.

When Hatori woke up, he was lying in the back seat of the car, naked, with the finger on his head like a mask.

He fumbled with getting it off, and wondered if the thought of him suffocating had even OCCURRED to Shigure and Ayame, and blinked blearily at the front seat. Shigure was driving, which was good. Because even if Shigure is colorblind and has no license, it's better than having that crazy snake drive.

" Ohayou, Tori-san!" Ayame said cheerfully and threw Hatori's clothes at his head.

" What the… what just happened?" Hatori muttered.

" We were almost killed! Luckily, we managed to escape in time!" Shigure chuckled like Kureno, but looked slightly disturbed, as if he had just been through an EXTREMELY frightening experience.

Ayame, on the other hand, looked perfectly normal, but wore an unatrually large grin even for him. " Aren't you glad you bought me that present, Tori-san?"

" No." Said Hatori, pulling on his clothes. " I think that was the stupidest, most pointless thing I have done in my life. And this stupid X STILL hasn't come off."

" Well, EXCUUUUUUSE me!" Shigure said in an over-dramatic voice.

" You're excused." Hatori said lamely, and finished putting on his clothes.

Then he just sort of curled up into a little ball in the back seat and pretended that the whole stupid thing had just been a very bad dream. Then he realized he was overreacting. It could have been MUCH worse. After all, he just had a big X on his chest. No injuries, no migraines, no memories that had to be erased.

" I'm sorry. You two were just trying to show me a good night." He said humbly.

" Of course!" Said Ayame, but his smile was sort of overly accepting.

" Uh-huh." Said Shigure with dark circles under his eyes. Hatori took this for forgival, and looked out the window until he saw the familiar sight of Shigure's house.

" Well, me and Aya are gonna have a sleepover, so you're free to have the car now!" Shigure said quickly, and practically bolted out of the car. Ayame followed suit and together they sped up the steps to the door.

" Uh… okay…" Hatori said slowly, wondering why they weren't even bothering to BOTHER him some more, or invite him to stay. Then a dark thought occurred to him. Hatori took a couple of deep breaths, and looked out the window. Shigure was slamming on the door like his life depended on it.

Hatori crawled into the front seat, then stepped out very, very slowly. Shigure looked back, and then screamed at the door, " OPEN UP! OPEN UP!"

Hatori stared at his car for a very long time. Then he turned around to look at Shigure and Ayame with a dark aura.

" ARGH! HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING!" Shigure and Ayame screamed, and resorted to slamming themselves bodily against the door. Hatori walked towards them like some sort of creepy seahorse zombie.

" DON'T HURT US!" Shigure whimpered, throwing himself down to the ground.

" IF YOU DO, JUST ERASE OUR MEMORIES OF IT HAPPENING!" Ayame added miserably, grovelling along with Shigure.

" I thought you said YOU drove." Hatori whispered dangerously.

" Only after Aya crashed the first five times!" Shigure admitted.

Hatori was getting ready to smite them then and there, but suddenly the door opened up and Tohru appeared in her pajamas. She smiled at all of them and blinked innocently.

" Welcome home!" Said Tohru.

"…" Said Hatori, because what he was intending to do could NOT be done in front of Honda Tohru. I don't think it could even be done in front of YOU, gentle reader.

" Tohru-kun!" Cried Shigure and Ayame and hugged her.

" EEEHHH!" Exclaimed Tohru as if she WASN'T expecting them to transform.

" HA! I'm a dog! Can't hurt me now!" Shigure scoffed like Carson.

" I have no limbs for you to break! HA-HA-HA!" Ayame laughed, slithering around in circles.

Hatori took a very deep breath.

HOOONK!

" Shouldn't we call… a vet or something?" Yuki asked, since he had come down the stairs after hearing all the shrieks of torture. Tohru was outside, standing in shock over the unconcious bodies of Shigure and Ayame.

" They'll be fine." Said Hatori, sipping some tea that had spontaneously appeared from nowhere. " They'll turn back soon enough."

" …won't they still have their injuries…?" Yuki asked pointedly.

Hatori just took another sip and a crazy laugh-track came out of nowhere.

" WHOA! AWESOME! What the hell happened to THEM!" Came Kyo's voice from outside, sounding as if Christmas had just been announced early.

" Kyo-kun! Welcome home! Um…" Said Tohru in a slightly shaky voice. " Are you feeling better?"

" Yeah. Shishou brought me home. Who beat up Shigure and Ayame?" Kyo asked, probably wanting to shake their hand, whoever they were. Then he marched into the house and gave Yuki and Hatori offended looks.

" Who…?"

Hatori raised his hand.

" I didn't know you knew martial arts." Kyo admitted.

" I don't NEED martial arts." Hatori said in the most badass voice ever and Kyo stared at him. Then he looked down at the table where Ayame's giant finger thingy was resting.

" GREAT!" Said Kyo. " I always wanted one of these." Then he gave an evil laugh and pointed it at Yuki. " YOU suck, Yuki."

Yuki just gave Kyo a look that clearly suggested he was the biggest idiot in the entire galazy. Then he quietly reached out, bent the giant pointer finger back, and let go, so that it hit Kyo squarely in between the eyes.

" OW! HEY! YOU'RE FIGHTING DIRTY! DAMN RAT! I'LL SHOW YOU!"

" Where does Shigure keep his ciggarettes…?" Hatori wondered outloud.

OMAKE!

Wow… I can't even do anything but apologize this time. So, come on Ritsu!

Ritsu: GOMEN NASAI SEKAIJUU NO GOMEN NASAI KIMI-TACHI WA GOMEN NASAI GOMEN NASAI GOMEN NASAI GOMEN NASAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Ohohoho! I have no good excuse other than… THAAAAAT'S me!

Carl: So you're… stupid? That excuses you?

Hayley: I don't take insults from organisms that haven't even evolved limbs yet.

Carl: Too bad YOU haven't evolved yourself a brain bigger than a skittle.

Hayley: …

Bigfoot: YOU GET SERVED.

Anyway… Jet Black has been having to live here for two long months!

Jet Black: (waves banner that says SEND HELP! AND FOOD!) Yep.

So let's get to asking questions already!

Vaxania: Will you sign my pants?

Hayley: SURE, KID! (whips out Shigure's magical writer's magic marker) Doo-dee-doo! (smirks a ' YOU HAVE NO ARMS' smirk at Carl)

CrescentStrata: Jet Black!
Okayokay, I have a question.
Poor poor Jet! Why do youp ut up with so much? You cook for that Spike because he can't POSSIBLY cook for himelf, of COURSE not, no! He's far too badass and would just burn things with his flamethrower anyway. And then complain until YOU cook him something that isn't burned! And then all he does is say things like "We're having this AGAIN?" or "You DON'T call bellpeppers and beef without beef bellpappers and beef, Jet!"
You should teach that young fool boy not to be so ungrateful.

Jet: I haven't had anything to eat in two months.

Hayley: Sorry…

Jet: …BUT WHEN I GET BACK, I'M GOING TO MAKE THOSE TWO UNGRATEFUL SLOBS MAKE ME WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT IT! GAH!

Hayley: Oi, Jet-kun, ochitsuite… OO

Genny-chan: Bigfoot,

How do you feel when people don't believe in you?

Bigfoot: BIGFOOT CRY. BUT BIGFOOT WIN BIG BASKETBALL GAME VERSUS ALIENS WITH BUGS BUNNY THEN BIGFOOT BELIEVE HE CAN FLY AND TOUCH SKY AND YAY.

Carl,

Why are you always so mean to everybody?

Carl: I'm not being mean. I'm just pointing out the obvious. Like you're a big ugly turd.

Hayley: CARL! (slap)

Hayley,

Who is Carson? Why does everyone scoff like him?

Hayley: Carson is the annoying blonde from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. People scoff like him because an old reviewer whom I sorely miss now suggested it! OI, NARIA, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!

Duct Tape Kitten: Do YOU like Baseball Hayley? Bigfoot? Carl?

Hayley: PASS. (on baseball)

Carl: Balls are retarded.

Hayley: Just because YOU don't have-

Bigfoot: TAKE BIGFOOT OUT TO THE BALL GAME.

Rachey-san: So, uh, Jet Black, how do you deal with being rejected by the person you're madly in love with?

Jet: Well… it's not like there anything you can do to change that person's feelings for you. What they feel is what they feel.

Hayley: Yeah…

Jet: I mean, if we could have just been together, even for five minutes a day, that was enough for me, because I'd cherish those minutes like they were lifetimes. But it wasn't enough for that person.

Hayley: (sniff) Uh-huh…

Jet: People meet, people part. People cling to each other as long as they can.

Hayley: (sob)

Jet: I'm not saying I'll ever give up on them…

Hayley: TELL HIM, JET! TELL THAT IDIOT WITH THE GREEN AFRO HOW YOU FEEL!

Jet: …WHAT!

Hayley: SPIKE! YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM YOUR TRUE FEELINGS!

Jet: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!

Hayley: Oh. Heh-heh-heh…

Nakigara: Question questions questions! does the question dance Questions for Hayley? NO! I don't need anything from her! Questions for Carl? NO! He's too mean... Questions for Bigfoot? NO! Well... maybe... I DUNNO! Questions for Jet Black! YES! HAI! OUI!

uses Kisa voice: Anou... Black-san... Anou... Wa-,... anou ne... ano... ... ... anou... gets killed by Akito

Oops. Oh well.

Naki: turns into random reporter mode MR JET BLACK! raises pencil into the air like an intelligent little inquisitive being How IS IT that Hayley convinced you to do this? Did she PAY you? Did she PROMISE you something? Will you be my mom? HOW LONELY ARE YOU?

French Naki: reverts into random french reporter mode Monsieur Black! Pourquoi vous etes toujours triste? Pourquoi vous GACKT! cough cough GACKT! cough hack cough GACKT!

Oh my, it seems that french naki, which her bad french grammar, couldn't keep the act going. Gackt-ATTACK! It's like her version of pinocchio's nose. only with gackt. Can't spew crappy language here! GACKT WILL SAVE THE FRENCH LANGUAGE! (because he says he can speak it).

Last 2 questions:
1.)Boxers or Briefs?
2.) Insert question about Teddiursa here
Muahahahhahaahhaaha!

Jet Black: She told me I had won a million Woolongs. I soon found out how wrong I was…

Hayley: I don't even know what Woolongs look like! DO they look like anything? Jet is MY mom. Shoo! Shoo!

Jet: I am very lonely.

Boxers. Briefs are icky.

…(glare)

JadedTigress: What are Bigfoots and Carl's favorite characters?

Hayley: Well, MINE is Hatori.

Bigfoot: MAILMAN.

Carl: Akito. (role-model)

Do you like Electric Light Orchestra Hayley?

Hayley: Electric Light whatta? Sounds… like a toaster that can sing!

Kireina: (seeing as I'm JUST reading these questions now, I am half-tempted to go back and add the LOTR cast in there but perhaps it is better for all our sakes not to…)

Can you REALLY cook better than Spike or are you just talking… and are you crushing on your Bonzai plants?

Jet: I CAN cook better than Spike. And-

Hayley: SO IT WAS YOUR BONZAI PLANTS! (SOB) JET, I NEVER KNEW!

Jet: MY WIFE! MY WIFE! MY EX-WIFE!

Hayley: What Ex-wife?

Jet: Episode 10!

Hayley: That episodes boring.

Jet: ARGH!

Anyway, if any of you are still alive out there, domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto! Next time will be… something random! We'll have to meet it when we-

Carl: Already used that.

…

Ja!