Disclaimer: Truthfully, I never would have thought up Invader Zim. So…no, I do not own.
Summary: Zim has finally thought of the perfect way to stop Dib from interfering. But Dib may find that Zim's plans are the least of his problems…
'thought'
"speech"
-0-0- is a scene/character jump
Chapter 8
Dib stared out the window of his ship as he followed Zim's Voot cruiser to the space station the Invader had in orbit. There, he figured, he could decide what he was going to do.
He had no home anymore. He had no family. All he had was his laptop and this ship.
"Dib! I'm talking to you!" Zim's voice penetrated his angsty thoughts.
"Yea?" Dib shot back, too tired to put up much of an argument.
"For ignoring me, the great Zim, I should leave you out here! But you did warn me of the stink-humans coming, and so I will repeat myself just this once!" Zim shook a fist at Dib through his window, and Dib merely raised an antenna back at him. "If you are coming inside, do it now!! Or I will leave you here!"
Dib gave a resigned shrug and piloted his craft into the space station, landing it beside Zim's cruiser.
Entering the space station for maybe the third or so time in his life, Dib stuck his hands in the pockets of his trench coat, leaning back against a wall as Zim pushed some buttons on the computer panel before him. Gir ran around, crying something about tacos and cows.
On a screen above them, the view of the earth suddenly zoomed in to show Zim's empty house, and the Agents swarming it.
"Filthy Earth-beasts, tainting Zim's home with their smell!" Zim muttered under his breath, fiddling with a few more buttons before glancing up again.
The screen changed to show what seemed to be a live broadcast. Dib's dad…the Professor Membrane, was standing by a podium.
"I have to claim responsibility in part of this. If I had not been so involved in my work, maybe my son Dib would not have gotten involved with this alien! But now is a chance for all of man-kind to open their eyes to the stars! If we can find my son, and his friend, I am sure that we can learn new things! Better things! Sure they might suffer, but it's for the good of all earth!"
And the crowd burst into cheers, the reporters snapping their pictures and firing off questions.
Dib was clenching his fists so hard together that his claws were digging into his skin. A picture of him, back when he was still human, was displayed, asking any who saw him to call the Swollen Eye network with details on his location. Dib was lucky they didn't get any pictures of him as he was now.
"Pitiful humans! What kind of parental unit would use one of their own spawn for such things?" Zim shouted, sounding almost indignant. "Humans are disgusting! I can't wait to see this planet destroyed!!"
That brought Dib out of his small depression. "You can't destroy earth!" He cried, running up beside Zim.
"Eh? And why not? Did you not listen?" Zim pointed at the screen where one of the head agents of the Swollen Eye was talking about Dib. "They are ready to do tests on you! Even your father! Your sister turned you in, and you still want to save them?" he was giving Dib a look of complete disbelief.
"I…" Dib sighed, lowering his gaze away from Zim, his antennae flattening. "I don't know…"
"Tch, no worries! For it matters not what you care! Earth will be destroyed!" Zim shook a fist at the ceiling. "I just have to get the Armada here, and then we can go home and I can be respected once more!"
Dib shook his head. Zim might have a home to go to, but what about him? Wait…
"We?" he asked. The Invader gave him a look as if to say he was dense.
"Yes, Dib: we. You are Irken now, and surely see that returning to that…place…will bring about your doom!" Zim pointed again at the screen, but Dib did not look. The pain in his chest was too great for him to want to see it.
"And what am I supposed to do on Irk, eh?" Dib demanded; eyes narrowed. "It's not like I can just up and pretend to be Irken!
"Foolish Dib, I have already come up with a brilliant plan!!" Zim shouted triumphantly. Dib was almost afraid to ask, but couldn't help himself.
"And what is that?" he asked warily.
"We have already told the Tallest about you! The fact that you are not behaving as a true Irken should well be explained! And, in time, you will learn!" Zim proclaimed; striking a pose that he thought must have looked heroic or something.
"What if I don't want to learn, eh? What if I don't want to be a part of this Irken Empire and destroy planets for a living?" Dib asked, amber eyes narrowing.
"Who says you get a choice?" Zim hissed. Dib's eyes widened and he shot towards his ship, towards safety.
He was too slow. Arms pinioned to his side by the robot arms that had come out of the walls, he glared at Zim. Gir, in his usual manner, shrieked with laughter and climbed up to Dib, smiling at him and moving up to sit on his head. Dib was too irritated at other matters to really care about the giggling robot clinging to his antennae.
"What does it matter to you, huh? If I go back to earth and your Armada destroys it, I'll be dead too. So why do you care?" He shouted at the smug Zim, struggling to get free.
"Because, Dib, I cannot contact the Tallest without you. They told me only to do so when I have 'fixed' you. I have not done so, but once they hear that the earth is ready for destruction they will not care!"
"That does not answer why you need me!" Dib protested. "And get off my head, Gir!" The insane robot gave another high pitched giggle before sliding off and running around in circles below him.
"Because I think it's a waste if you are destroyed along with your pitiful Earth!" Zim snapped, surprising Dib into silence. "You, you were a worthy opponent and rival, someone who should be receiving respect from all those stink-beasts, was reduced to a social outcast! On Irk you will be respected! Your talents will not go to waste! But first, you have to learn! You have to be Irken! And I, the grand Zim, will receive the credit for bringing one such as you into the Empire."
Dib was staring at Zim, jaw agape. "You are serious about this? For your own honor and glory are you going to ruin my life?" he gave a violent twist against his bonds.
"Yes. Though your life is already ruined, so you might say I'm improving it. You have no where to go, Dib. No where, but Irk." Zim stated, turning back to his computer panel.
"And how do you plan on making me accept this, Zim? If I am unwilling to learn to be Irken, as you put it, how exactly are you going to make me?" Dib challenged, almost afraid to learn the answer.
"There are ways, Dib. There are ways." Zim hissed, "Now quiet!" he began to punch a few buttons.
"What are you going to tell them?" Dib asked curiously.
"That Earth is ready for destruction!" Zim exclaimed, laughing manically.
Dib growled. There had to be something he could do to stave off Earth's destruction! But what? He was caught, and Zim was already contacting his leaders. What could he do??
He paused, blinking. A slow, wicked grin spread across his face and he had to reign in the urge to laugh wildly at the idea that he had just come up with.
Letting out a loud sigh, and slumping, he looked the picture of resigned defeat. "Fine Zim," he said lowly, attracting the Invader's attention. "You win. Let me down, I'll pretend all you want for your leaders."
"Eh?" Zim eyed him warily, searching for a motive. A trap, maybe. Dib dredged up all the feelings of hate and fear, pain and hurt that Earth and its inhabitants had caused him. He needed this to be convincing.
"I will help you destroy earth," He hissed, eyes narrowing. Zim watched him for a few moments more, before giving a small laugh.
"Computer, release Dib!" Zim barked, and turned back to the screen. "No funny business, Dib. You have to act the part."
-0-0-
Meanwhile, in a random part of the galaxy, Tallest Red and Tallest Purple were celebrating a long period of time without any contact from Zim.
"Maybe he got killed! Killed by an insane Irken believing he was human!" Purple laughed, and Red joined in. It was a funny idea, after all. And ironic.
"Incoming transmission!" One of the subordinates shouted. "From Earth."
"Zim??" Red coughed, swallowing too big a bite of his doughnut. But it was Zim…standing there with the other Irken…what was his name…Dib! Zim, the pest, was standing there with Dib by his side.
"Yes, My Tallest! It is the grand Zim!" Zim proclaimed.
"You weren't supposed to call until –" Purple began to say, before Zim interrupted.
"Until the Dib is cured! But he is, My Tallest!" Zim shouted, pointing at the one next to him.
"Really? He actually did something productive?" Red muttered, leaning forwards.
"Yes! Dib is back to his normal, Irken self." Zim shot a warning glance at Dib at this point, but Dib merely saluted the screen.
"Invader Dib, My Tallest! I apologize for my behavior the last time we spoke!" Dib said smartly, and snickered quietly at Zim's glare.
"Invader? You were an Invader?" Purple asked. "I don't remember an Invader named Dib."
"I was sent on a mission a long time ago, My Tallest. I have been lost for so long…I am not surprised you do not remember me." Dib saluted again, making the story up on the fly and hoping it was believed. From what he had been able to deduce, the Tallest were merely snack-loving Irkens who were leaders only because of their height.
"What happened to stop you from reporting in? And what about your mission?" Red asked, eyes narrowing.
"The planet I was sent to was hit by an asteroid midway through my mission. The planet was destroyed, but I was able to escape before it happened. As for my mission," Dib paused, seeming to think over it. "It could be deemed a success as the planet is utterly destroyed." Dib crossed his claws behind his back in hopes that they will fall for it.
"Well…" Red mused.
"Excellent! Good job then, Invader Dib." Purple exclaimed happily, biting into another doughnut, ignoring his fellow leader. Dib let loose a small sigh of relief.
Zim was staring open-mouthed at Dib, who was giving a triumphant smirk. Dib elbowed Zim, not wanting his reaction to make the Tallest suspicious. Zim hastily composed himself.
"Eh, yes! Yes, because of my awesome genius, Dib is back to his normal self!" Zim exclaimed.
"I MADE MUFFINS!!!" Gir screeched suddenly, popping up between them, a plate of steaming muffins in hand.
"Uh huh…well, good job Zim." Red said, deciding to ignore the faulty robot. "So, on with your mission on Earth, yes?"
"My Tallest, that is another thing I wanted to tell you!" Zim shouted excitedly. "Earth is –"
Dib seized his chance, leaping in and interrupting Zim.
"Earth is nearly defenseless, My Tallest. A few more months, and we shall have the planet ready for you to conquer!" Dib proclaimed, letting loose his best Zim-like cackle.
"That's good news." Purple waved a hand dismissively. "The two of you can finish it up. Don't call us until Earth is vulnerable and ready for us." He made a slicing motion with a hand and the transmission was cut.
"What??" Zim howled as the screen went dark. He spun to face Dib. "Why did you tell them that??"
"Because, Zim," Dib began, hastily formulating an excuse. "The planet is NOT vulnerable yet. There is much more we can do to make it weaker! Do you not want to utterly and completely destroy human life?"
"Eh? What else is there to do before Earth is defenseless? They are not in any way prepared for an invasion!" Zim's eyes narrowed. Although a lot of his plans and ideas were not the brightest, he was by no means dumb. "I think you are lying to me Dib." He hissed.
Dib blinked, trying to think on how to salvage the situation.
He was saved having to try, however, by Gir leaping up between them again and pointing out the wide window.
"Loooooook Master! It's a ship!"
Both Irkens immediately snapped their gazes to the window.
Indeed, there was a ship there. A light began to blink on the computer before them.
"They're hailing us!" Zim cried, forgetting about their argument and punching buttons. "Gir! Get down!" Gir gave a piercing laugh and leapt off, running to the back of the room and digging a rubber pig out of a pile of scrap.
"Who are they?" Dib asked. The ship was shaped like an ice cream cone sitting on its side, and was a dull blue in color.
"I don't know, but we're about to find out." Zim hissed, eyes narrowed. The screen flickered, and focused to reveal an odd assortment of aliens.
"Who are you to be interrupting the almighty Zim??" Zim demanded, pointing at the ram-horned alien in the captain's chair.
"Aha! I was right! This IS an Irken station!" The captain shouted, turning to an alien standing beside him. "Now we can destroy them!"
"What??" Dib exclaimed.
"You are Irken! Filthy slave drivers! A plague on the galaxy! That is all the Irken Empire is! Well, we found you! And now we'll save this poor planet the fate you have in store for it by destroying you!!" The captain cried, striking a heroic pose on his chair.
"Uh-huh…and who are you?" Dib asked, raising antennae in question. These guys seemed to be bigger fools than Zim.
"We are the Resisty! We are rebelling against the Irken tyrants!"
"The Resisty?" Zim asked, "That's a stupid name!"
"Not just stupid," Dib agreed, "But stupid, stupid!"
The captain growled. "It is not a stupid name! Shoot the Irken invaders already! Destroy them!"
The front of the ice-cream shaped ship began to glow, and a beam shot out and struck the space station, sending it tilting sharply to the side, and alarms began to blare. Dib staggered, trying to keep his balance. Zim toppled over as a screaming Gir ran into him.
"Haha! Shoot the Irken scum!" the captain cheered.
The front of the ship began to glow again.
-0-0-
End Chapter
Now it starts getting interesting!! Muahahahaa!