Months later, Kasen and I still hadn't spoken to each other, even living under the same roof… and I started to consider Anton's offers for a ride. Kasen had been so quiet, and so sad, that I didn't suppose he was still so very angry that he'd carry out his threats.

I had visited Master Obi-Wan twice in the past few months, first with Kasen in a desperate attempt to bring him back to his senses, the second time I had just hopped in Master Fisto's old speeder and come myself. Master Obi-Wan had been very pleased to see Kasen, until he sensed the distance between us, the sadness, the anger… We had worried him, I knew, and when I showed up alone it had been worse. I had sighed, told him the whole story, and he had explained the lure of the Dark side, and how innocent attachment can seem when it is really the most dangerous of all the distractions. It was disheartening, especially in light of my latest struggles…

Even though our debt had been paid to Lana by now, I felt lead to lend her my youthful strength long after.

That, and Anton still worked there.

I had been trying to tell myself that I was just being a good Jedi, helping out a woman in need… but the truthful voice in my head always chided that she had two grown men to help her, and I would silently argue with myself, thinking things like, not with nimble, girlish fingers!

I had gotten very good at stitching delicate patterns on little-girl tunics, and they were selling for a few more truguts as a result. Lana had been pleased.

Anton had taken notice of my many abilities too, and gave me proud smiles from time to time. I still hadn't decided if they were big-brother smiles, or co-worker smiles.

Lana had teased me over and over that they were lover's smiles, as if she had been reading my thoughts. I blushed once, and that made her laugh even harder.

But I was beginning to believe that her theory had a foundation.

Lately, I had been sensing someone staring at me, for long periods of time. I had then turned each time, only to stare into Anton's gray-blue eyes. He would hold my gaze, almost longingly for a moment before turning away, back to his work.

I secretly enjoyed it more each time.

And he wouldn't turn twenty for another few months, and I would be seventeen soon after. That is not so young, I had thought absently.

But I always forced such thoughts away.

No matter where I lived, I was still a Jedi.

Wasn't I?

I still felt like I always had, only a little more callused, less naïve.

It made me feel older, and wiser.

I had come to learn an important lesson…

Wisdom was painful.