Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

"Love is like war:
easy to begin, but very hard to stop."

-H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

There were times when he could swear that silence was louder than any noise. His shaggy brown hair was falling in his eyes and he wondered if maybe it was finally time for that hair cut, but Emma kept saying how she loved his hair longer like that. She would curl her fingers into the hair that brushed the nape of his neck when they kissed. He groaned, wishing that he could stop thinking about her. The more he thought about his blond angel, the more he missed her. A week seemed like a year to him right now. The doorbell rang, breaking him from his miserable thoughts. Jay scratched his bare chest as he stood from the couch. He paused the DVD he'd been watching, throwing the remote down on the coffee table and made his way to the door. Absently he zipped and buttoned his jeans on the way. When he opened the door his arms were suddenly filled with a small blond clinging to him, kisses falling like rain on his face.

"Emma," he breathed, grabbing her soft face with his calloused hands and pressing his lips to hers. They stayed that way, framed by the doorway, kissing for what seemed like hours, but was actually only a few minutes. A soft cough from behind Emma broke the two apart. Emma giggled, turning around to face whoever it was behind her.

A tall, slender woman with waves of curling brown hair rolling down her back. Her large eyes were the same piercing blue as Jay's. Emma smiled softly, a crimson blush rising on her pale cheeks.

"Hi," Emma whispered timidly. She knew, if only by the eyes, that this must be Jay's mother.

"Hi there, you must be Emma," Mrs. Hogart smiled down at the younger girl.

"Uh yeah, Mom this is Emma. Emma this is my mom," Jay said awkwardly, unsure of how to handle this. Mrs. Hogart ushered the two inside, closing the large mahogany door behind her. Jay and Emma followed her into the kitchen, Emma's small hand clasped protectively within Jay's larger one.

"I thought you weren't supposed to get out for another week," Jay whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

"I know. They let me out even earlier than we expected and I wanted to surprise you...so SURPRISE!" Emma's soft whisper turned to a yell as she came to the last word. Mrs. Hogart turned around abruptly, shooting the two teens a strange look.

"Oops, sorry. I got out of the nut house earlier than scheduled and I didn't tell Jay. I wanted to surprise him, hence the outburst," Emma stated sheepishly, stepping just a bit closer to Jay. Surprising to Jay, Mrs. Hogarts warm laugh rang out as they entered the kitchen.

"Yes well, I can see how you'd be happy to get out of the nut house as you call it. Although, so far, I don't really see another nutty about you dear," the brunette said warmly, sitting down at the kitchen table. Jay and Emma followed suit, Jay mumbling beneath his breath, "Just wait until you get to know her." The comment caused Emma to swiftly tap him upside the head, glaring at him beneath heavy lashes.

"I was just kidding, green peace," Jay muttered, rubbing the back of his head gingerly.

"I thought you were supposed to be the big bad, I barely touched you," Emma laughed.

"It's nice to meet you Emma. Jay's told me a little about you," Mrs. Hogart said, folding her hands on the table.

"Oh, um, thanks. It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Hogart," Emma said softly, her nerves coming back at the words directed towards her.

"Please, call me Diane," Jay's mom told the petite blond. Emma nodded in response, then glanced around, unsure of what to say next. Jay took note of her nervous body language and gave his mom and apologetic look.

"Uh, I gotta talk to Emma for a sec, k mom?"

And Jay jumped off his chair, dragging Emma behind him without waiting for a reply. Once in the living room, Emma stared at him with curiosity in her big brown eyes. She tilted her head as if to ask him what was going on.

"I think, maybe, it would be a good time to tell her," Jay managed to utter. The widening of Emma's eyes had him rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"It's just...well, it's weird but lately she's actually been, like, trying to be a mom for once. I think it might be easier to tell her first and then we can all tell my Dad," Jay tried to explain to the frightened looking girl before him.

"Okay," she whispered, lacing her fingers with his tightly. Jay leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her temple, "It's going to be alright," he whispered to her, giving her a reassuring smile.

The two walked back into the kitchen to deliver the news to Jay's unexpecting mother.

Sean

I wonder sometimes if I'm meant to be alone. I manage to completely screw up every good relationship I've ever had. If I had never turned into such a selfish asshole back in grade nine I doubt Emma would have ever hooked up with Jay and she and I would still be happily together. Even though I've mostly gotten over her, Emma will always be my first love and I'll always have a soft spot for her. Then there was Ellie. Ellie with her blazing red hair and fiery personality to match. The lines on her arms each told a story and she had shared each one with me late at night as we curled up on the couch together. Sometimes I wonder if there are new lines, new stories, written on her delicate arms or if she stopped like she'd promised me she would so long ago. Ellie and I really had something special, I know that...I always knew that, but there was always Emma between us. I still wasn't over the small blond that had once been such a big part of my life and that fact eventually drove us apart. The shooting was simply my excuse to escape. I wonder if she knows I'm back in town, I mean she must it's not like our group of friends don't intertwine in some way or another, but neither of us will ever seek the other out. We pretty much said all that there was to say the last time we talked and there are no longer any words left between us.

I don't usually think about this kind of stuff, but with everything going on lately I've been musing over it all more and more. I've been spending a lot of my free time with Manny. At first it was just the fact that Emma was so sick and we were the only ones who could truly understand what we were each going through. And now...now I think it might be a little something more. I don't think she feels the same about me as I'm beginning to feel about her, but I wish that she did. Somehow I think she'll always have those lingering feelings for Craig and I'm afraid there isn't any room for me.

Then there are times when she looks at me in this way that I know is meant for only me. When she does that I start to think that maybe she feels it, too. But then the moment passes and I'm left wondering whether I only imagined it.