We walked inside, and sat around Anton's table. They were talking excitedly, catching up on family affairs while I stitched away, listening quietly.
"Oh!" I heard Annie exclaim.
When Anton didn't say anything, and she didn't continue, I looked up, from her face to his rapidly.
"What?" I asked, startled.
She reached over and touched one of the small Naboo flowers I was stitching.
"This is gorgeous," she said excitedly. "Do you make larger ones?"
Anton shook his head. "You are so easily distracted."
Annie frowned at her brother. "And you are so rude. But I don't point out your faults to you."
"You just did!" Anton said, laughing, incredulous.
"Get over it," Annie rolled her eyes.
"Our birthday is next month," Anton changed the subject.
"He says I'm easily distracted," Annie whispered to me. I giggled.
"Am I going to see you?" He asked her, ignoring her insult.
"Yes, of course," she smiled. "Why wouldn't you?"
"I don't know, you're so busy with your art, and your new boyfriend… where is Jansen, by the way?"
"You think I'd bring him here?" She pretended to be aghast.
I loved this girl's guts.
"Oh, forgive me, I guess it won't last long enough for me to meet him again," Anton shot back.
"I'm an artist," she said dramatically, "my tastes change frequently."
I laughed at her theatrical words, and Anton just huffed at her.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to freshen up, unpack my things – you know: girl things." She smiled at the two of us, getting up from the table gracefully and leaving the room.
That just left me and Anton.
It was unnerving, to be sure.
"She's wonderful," I broke the sudden awkward silence.
"Isn't she?" he smiled, nodding in agreement. "I told you that you'd love her."
"I do," I laughed. "And you're right, she is fire-eyed."
"I meant that in a good way… earlier, I mean," Anton said softly, almost shyly.
It was strange; I had never imagined Anton to be shy about anything.
But here we were.
"I know," I said, smiling. "You're right, anyway," I laughed good-naturedly.
He laughed a little too, but then he fell silent.
I rose from the table, walking around the kitchen, trying to distract myself from the warmth that was stretching across the table again.
You're his sister, I told myself stubbornly. His sister, his sister, his sister…
I heard him stand up, and cross the room. I felt him pull up beside me, and my chest burned.
He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I turned to face him, pulse racing.
He's going to tell you to go home, I told myself. You're leaving! You're…
But now he was fire-eyed… eyes suddenly such an intense blue I found myself entranced by them. I crossed my arms, trying to fight my emotions physically…
Before I understood what was happening – things fell into place as if they were speeding past me and going in slow motion all at once.
I felt his work-roughened hands on my face, inhaled his scent, felt his warmth…
And then his lips met mine, and the universe around me stopped.
And when he finally pulled away, everything went on moving normally.
I just kept my eyes closed; he was still holding my chin in both hands.
When I finally opened my eyes to look at him, his eyes were wide and fearful.
He was looking past me. He put his hands behind his back.
"Oh, sorry, I'll leave you two friends alone," I heard Annie's voice say, emphasizing the word friends with much dripping sarcasm.
I heard her walk out of the room, and both of our eyes widened.
And then, we burst into laughter.
It was a good release.
Anton ran a hand through his hair, and I scratched at my neck.
Well, this is incredibly awkward.
We both went to speak at the same time, and then laughed again.
"You first," I challenged.
Anton took a deep breath, and looked at the floor for a moment.
You're almost four years my senior, Anton. Maybe you should apologize, and we can pretend it never happened? I thought, as rationally as I could with a dry mouth, spinning head and pounding heart.
"First of all, I didn't mean to do that." He said, biting his lower lip.
For some reason, I felt disappointed. I just kept looking down.
"Second of all, the only reason I'd be sorry right now is because you're a Jedi, and I might've just corrupted you. Now that you'd do bad things now because I'm so wonderful that you have to give everything up because of me…"
I held up a hand.
"I've been down this road before, and it's ended badly," I explained.
He winced. "Kasen?"
I nodded. "So maybe we should just pretend like this never happened, and just go back to being 'just friends'."
Anton's shoulders slumped a bit; he looked disappointed by this idea.
"I…" he sighed, running a hand through his hair again. "If that's really what you want, Keelee… I'll try my best."
Tears filled my eyes, and I stubbornly blinked them away.
"I don't know what I want."
It was then that I realized that he was still only a few inches from me.
"Maybe some space, to start out with?" I hadn't meant for it to come out harshly, but it sounded meaner than it was.
"Oh, right," he backed up a large step. "Better?"
"Yes. Space is good," I said, twiddling my thumbs.
I could practically feel his heartbeat through the Force, and it made me incredibly sad. You got attached again, Keelee. You are heartless and mean. You're just going to hurt him… drive him away like you did to Kasen.
When I looked back up at Anton, angry tears streaked my face.
"Force; I swore I wasn't going to cry anymore," I muttered.
"Keelee, should I take you home?"
"Home…?" The word twisted my already confused heart into a bigger knot.
Did he mean Coruscant, or Nova and Yahni's cavern home?
I didn't know anymore.
"Yes. Home," Anton nodded, hoping I'd get it.
"Oh, yeah, that's probably the best idea." I angrily wiped the tears away.
"Just let me tell Annie so she doesn't think we've eloped," he tried to joke.
And I did manage to choke out a pathetic fake laugh before exiting out the front door, into the warm Tatooine night air, where I promptly cried harder.