Business As Usual

Chapter #26: The Mechanics of Wrong and Right

Miya's Note: Whoo, sorry again, again, again, again, again, again….

For the delay. I didn't have easily accessible, fast internet until today. Bah!

I'm so pissed at right now! The first time, it didn't upload the full chapter, so I'm sorry to all of you who read the partial version. Plus, it STILL won't let me change my Qs to page breaks. BAH!

Okay, I think I'm better now.

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That time with Rufus was the first time I ever noticed the blood. Not the blood from a knife wound or a shot, but the blood from me. The kind of blood that comes from ripping into someone's body where you're not supposed to rip. Not like a woman. No, women didn't bleed like that, usually. The only woman who had ever bled like that was…was, well, the girl that I'd raped.

I looked at his face. Nothing. Nothing but this kind of odd rapture. Of course, Rufus always did like pain.

I asked him about it afterward. Had he always bled, and I'd just never noticed, or was this the first time? I hoped to the gods that this hadn't been happening all along.

My prayers went unanswered.

I was horrified. I was horrified, but he smiled at me.

He smiled at me, and told me not to change a thing.

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"How bad are you hurt?"

"It's nothing, Reno. It's nothing more than a little tear in the flesh, and, like a paper cut, the smallest little injuries are the ones that usually bleed and hurt the most."

"Is there anything…?"

Rufus interrupted the redhead. "I told you: Change nothing. Pain is welcome. It's appreciated. It makes the act fulfill its purpose even more."

"Purpose?"

"Release and retribution. You should know that."

Reno furrowed his brow, and his lips scrunched up to match. The Turk huffed. "I swear, I should just get a whip and go dominatrix on you or something. You're one of those weird fucks who'd actually like it."

Rufus smirked at that, and let out a chuckle. "You're probably right."

"Probably? Looking at some of the shit you've had me do…"

"Yes, yes, of course, Reno. And I know what you're going to say next."

"And what's that?"

"That it's ironic that the most powerful man in the world is such a submissive."

"You've got that right."

Rufus leaned in toward his lover, and he pushed his ear against the other man's chest.

"What are you doing, listening to my heart or something?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"Weirdo."

"Lay down."

Reno did, and Rufus' head followed, resting on the redhead like a pillow. Rufus found it intriguing the way words resounded through the Turk's ribcage when he spoke, "It's kind of funny, that when I'm around you, it's like the whole world is off of its axis. It's like everything's just…wrong, you know? It's like things shouldn't be happening like they're happening, but at the same time, it feels like there's…something else here. Something more. Do you feel that way?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"Like there might be something real happening…with us?" Reno laughed. "I still don't know why I always come back to you, and I think that--that not knowing--it's because I don't want to believe that there could be something more to it."

"You don't have to."

"And what about you?"

"I don't." Rufus wrapped an arm around the other man's stomach. "I just go along with my life; with the tears and the pain and the fucking and the fighting and how they all go together because none of it's ever done right. But, like I told you, I don't want anything to change. I spent my whole life trying to be right about everything. I spent my whole life learning that what was right was to grow up heartless, and by growing up heartless, grow up powerful. And I learned that what was right was to simply rule the company with no regrets, and then to find a woman, impregnate her, and raise the next member of the legacy to do the same. And I spent my whole life trying to find a way to be wrong, and I found it, through you."

"I like that."

"Hm?"

"That we can be each other's releases from being right. Everyone tells me it's wrong to be with you, so I go back to this. I rebel. You're my Mr. Wrong."

"The feeling is mutual. Oh, how I love contradiction, in all of its forms."

"Yeah, I've noticed. Which reminds me: You said that being with me was pretty much the only thing that didn't cause you pain, and then…"

Rufus stopped him with a sigh. "I guess I should have been more clear as to the types of pain I've been referring to. Physical pain is its own type altogether, and it doesn't quite go along with the others. There is no time in my life when I am not in some sort of physical pain. Think about it, Reno. How many times since we've met alone has my shoulder been destroyed? Do you think that, every time, it has healed all the way? What about my hands? The muscles in my chest and back? Each time I move, it's like knives through my skin. To avoid physical pain, I would have to get a new body, and, even if that were possible, I wouldn't want it. This body of mine is a testament to my innate human weakness, and to the corruption within me. I hate it, but it is all that keeps me from taking that last step into true insanity; to the point where I don't realize anymore that what I do is wrong, because there are no repercussions that are reflected directly onto me."

Reno scowled, waving his hand in little circles through the air in front of him. "Okay, that was a lengthy and depressing explanation, and it didn't even answer the question."

"The point I am trying to get to is that the type of pain that is absent when I am with you is a certain breed of emotional pain brought on by regret. Unlike every other experience in my life, this--what we just did--is one of the few things I wouldn't ever wish to take back. Being here, like this with you, is one of the only good memories I have."

Reno kind of smiled. It was a confused expression, between a semblance of happiness and a sort of true repulsion. "It's a bit sickening, you know, that one of the few good experiences you have under your belt is sex with a whorish piece of slum dirt that doesn't know right from wrong. Of course, being that whorish piece of slum dirt, I have to say I'm kind of honored. You know, seeing as the memories I'm usually connected with are ones about me killing people's family members and screwing poor chicks who have nothing better to do than stand on corners and get fucked over for money. But it's sad, you know, that a guy like me's the good part in your life. I really do pity you sometimes."

"Then, I go and do something like kill your girlfriend and you go from pitying me to hating me," Rufus muttered, his face showing a bit of bland annoyance. "And, then, for some odd reason, you go back to pity again, and I wonder: Am I really that wretched of a man that my only redeeming quality is the fact that someone can pity me at all?"

Reno suddenly felt the need to change subjects, or at least to lighten the atmosphere. Things were getting darker and darker by the moment, and he generally didn't like how they turned out when that darkness got out of hand. The redhead smirked, making sure Rufus was looking at him when he did it. "Well, you're a walking pile of sex, if that's any consolation, even in your testament to innate human weakness."

"And how much should that matter to me, coming from a so-called whorish piece of slum dirt?"

"Hey, even if I am a slut-puppy, and I won't deny that I am, I do have some taste in who I go laying in bed with, thank-you-very-much."

"Oh, yes?" Rufus leaned up to the redhead, boring into the other man's eyes with his own in a sort of challenge. "And what may this taste imply, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, that taste usually implies the exact opposite flavor from yours. You're everything I usually don't find attractive, and that makes you special."

"Oh, and how is this?"

"You're a dude. That's most of it."

"Most?"

"You're a really effeminate dude, sometimes, but you're a guy nonetheless."

"So, what is it about me that makes me appealing to your oh-so promiscuous, yet oh-so-heterosexual eye?"

Reno thought for a moment, though he didn't break from the harsh glare. "I dunno. Maybe it's that you're one of the only people in the world who can make me stop sleeping around while you're there."

"Well, isn't that bizarre?" Rufus pushed his nose against the redhead's, and Reno backed up quickly, swatting at the other man. Rufus grinned, hovering inches in front of his lover and not responding in the least to the small swipes being aimed at his face. "You, who I'm sure is quite the piece of meat on the ladies' market, goes and sleeps with a man, and, suddenly, he's out of the picture for everyone else. There must be something especially curious about me to make you change so suddenly."

Reno huffed, pushing his nose back up against the blonde's. "Oh, there is. So curious, in fact, that I can't figure it out. You just make my mind go all wonky, and then I don't know what's what anymore, and I get confused."

"Oh, so confused that you can't tell up from down?"

"Nope."

"In from out?"

"You raunchy heifer."

"Right from wrong?"

"That one I know. Rufus equals Wrong."

"Fair enough. Nice, simple equation. That, and a couple of others may help us solve this little curiosity. Now, what does Reno equal? Reno plus Rufus?"

"Hmm…Well, Reno equals Crazy, Lust-sick Fool. Reno plus Rufus equals…well, I'm not sure. I guess the only thing I could say to that is that Reno plus Rufus equals This."

"And This equals…?"

"That's the question of the century."

Rufus backed off of the bed, standing and adopting a thinker's posture, his foot up on the mattress and his elbow on his knee. "Well, maybe we can solve for the variable 'This' and find out what this whole little mystery of ours entails."

"Okay, too much math."

"This is simple, Reno."

"This is stupid. You're trying to use some sort of weird math problem to figure out our relationship."

"Ah, relationship." Rufus held up a finger to keep Reno from speaking. "One of the properties of variable 'This' is that it is, in fact, a relationship of some sort."

"You're gonna make me play along with this, aren't you?"

Rufus didn't feel he needed to respond.

"I thought so."

"Now, what other properties does our little variable have, hm?"

Reno crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Well, for one, it is very, very gay."

"This little problem solving game, or our relationship?"

"Both."

"I beg to differ."

The Turk looked positively flabbergasted. "Rufus, we are two grown men. We are two grown men who are sleeping together, and trying to figure out why we're doing it with a word problem."

"Just because we're having sex, it doesn't make us gay."

"Okay, so I know I'm not a flaming homosexual, but..."

"Reno, why are we even having this discussion? I guess I shouldn't have assumed that you knew where I stand and have always stood on this issue."

"I guess not."

Rufus sat on the floor and rested his chin on the bedside. "Will you listen to me if I tell you?"

"Yeah, I'm listening."

"Why are you so irked all of a sudden?"

"I'm sick of people calling me gay."

"Fuck them, Reno."

"Not literally, I hope."

"No." The blonde glared. "Listen, where I stand is that I don't see much of a difference between men and women. Tell me, what's the difference, in your eyes?"

"Well, guys have dicks, and women have pussies. Duh. This is such an obnoxiously school-like discussion. Math problems and health-class logistics."

"Fine. Never mind." The President stood, walking away from the bed. He stood in front of his closet, back turned from the redhead, as he looked for some clothing. "Forget we even had this talk. You are being remarkably juvenile right now. Come back when you've calmed down. You should probably go and check in with the other Turks anyway, and I have things I need to be doing as well. I don't have time to argue."

"You're kicking me out? This is my apartment, too, buster!"

"You did fine on your own for the past couple of weeks. You will be alright while you are gathering your head. Now, get dressed and get out."

Reno stood, too, and he gathered up some clean clothing from his still-packed duffel bag. "Fuck off, Rufus," he growled, and left.

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"Well, don't we just look pissed?" Rude asked dully as Reno threw his bag on the bald Turk's apartment threshold.

"Fuck off. You, fuck off. Him, fuck off. Tseng, fuck off. I'm going to sleep. On the couch. Now."

"Okay," Rude murmured, stepping out of his comrade's way. He moved the bag out of the entrance and shut the door. "I'm not going to ask. I'm just gonna let you sleep, and I'll wake you up in the morning. We have a meeting with Tseng tomorrow."

"Oh, and when the hell was I supposed to find out about this meeting?"

"You really weren't. You're still off-duty, to make sure that you've healed all the way."

Reno fumed. "So, why the fuck are you dragging me along with you?"

"Well, I figured that you could come and meet your new co-worker?" Rude suggested, almost meekly (or as close to it as a man like Rude could manage).

Reno kind-of-almost smiled. "Well, maybe fucking with the rookie will help me feel better."

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"Well, I want my secretary, not some incompetent floozy that my father picked out!" screamed Rufus to the very same incompetent floozy that he happened to be talking about at that precise moment.

In an almost satisfyingly confirming response to Rufus' outburst, the woman in front of him stared blankly at him and then abruptly started to cry, her overexposed cleavage doing its best to catch any rampant tears.

"Listen," said Rufus to the distraught ex-secretary in front of him, "I just received the notice of death from the doctor who treated the alcohol poisoning of the manager of the 61st floor café. Instead of all-out firing you, I will be kind this time and offer the position to you. You are fairly close to matching the specifications of the first manager, unlike the previous two, who didn't seem to be as pleasing to the customers. She, the first manager, much like you, was not particularly bright, but that didn't stop her from doing quite well at her job. Now, I'm sure you will like your new position. You can be quite as much of a slut as you want, and if you get depressed, you can drink until you are sick, although I hope you don't go as far as the last one did. Now, go along little floozy, and, if you would, call Janice Johanneson up to my office as your last assignment as Presidential secretary."

The woman continued to bawl, her eyes seeming to have more substance than they normally did, magnified as they were by the tears that filled them. Rufus' eyes, on the other hand, seemed to get smaller as he cringed at the sound of the girl's crying, and he breathed heavily through his nose in an attempt to calm himself down before he had an outburst.

One more wail, and Rufus' will was broken.

"I said GET OUT!" yelled the President, and that was enough to cause the fourth café manager, a tall, skinny woman from Kalm whose favorite hobby was flower arranging and whose name was Bette Connelly, to quite literally run from the blonde's office.

Bette ran as fast as she could, but Rufus' new office, unlike his old, was not separated from the rest of the building by doors but by stairs, and she tripped and broke her rather skinny neck on the way down.

Hearing the crack, Rufus added Bette Connelly to his growing mental list of women he had caused the deaths of (whether on purpose or by accident) and called Janice to his office.

His secretary's first order of business in her new, higher position would be to find a new floozy to hire as the fifth in the long line of cursed café managers.

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"Reno, welcome back," said Tseng, a bit of unusual enthusiasm creeping into his normally stoic face.

"Yo, Dot-Man. When can I start working again? I'm sick of just sittin' around."

"Currently, we are working with the new member of the force in hopes that she can gain some experience on the field. Plus, I feel that you should continue to rest. I was careless when I picked you to take the Sector Seven job. I didn't check your records, and I was unaware that I had sent you to destroy your childhood home until after the mission."

Reno waved a hand dismissively through the air. "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Boss. Don't sweat it. I'm more worried that I'm being replaced. And, by a woman? Did I hear you say 'she'? To think, I thought it was a guy who had my old apartment."

"Damn right he said 'she'!" came a slightly high-pitched voice from behind the redhead. "And don't you dare think that makes me any less capable than you. Just because I'm a woman…"

Reno turned to face the newest Turk, a blonde woman with large, heavily lined brown eyes. The doe-like look those eyes gave her set the more veteran Turk on edge and didn't help to ease his worry about his newest co-worker. "Yeah, yeah, babe," said Reno, cutting the woman off. "I've heard the spiel. Call me sexist all you want, but you just don't look like you've got the right stuff to be in the force."

Tseng stepped between them, sensing the woman's nearing hissy fit. "Reno, I assure you that Miss Pearce here is quite capable enough."

Reno grinned. "Pearce, eh? Is your first name as sexy as your last?"

Rude was next to step between the two. "Reno, you need to treat your new co-worker with respect."

The redhead pushed the two other men out of the way. "Hey, hey, don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm just fucking with the rookie. Gotta make sure she can handle pressure."

"I assure you, I don't need to be tested by the likes of you," hissed Miss Pearce.

"Ooh, she's got attitude. I like that in a woman."

"I'm your co-worker, you pig, not some ten-dollar hooker. Of course, those are probably the only girls you really pay attention to, aren't they?"

"Damn, woman. Nice comeback." The redhead held out his hand. "Name's Reno Kiribani. Yours?"

The woman didn't accept his handshake. "I'm Elena. Elena Pearce." Elena seemed as if she had to hold back spitting on Reno. "And don't touch me."

"Listen. I really am just messing with you. Last woman I was with, we were together for about two years. Yeah, I've had my share of one-night stands, but you're not my type. Plus, I'm taken."

Elena laughed. "Taken? You? I find your little story hard to believe. Plus, two years? And running, I guess? That's a long time for a guy like you, isn't it?"

"Correction, the two years was with my last girl. She's dead now, or didn't you hear from Tseng and Rude about the whole little soap opera that's my life? You don't even wanna hear the story about my current fling."

Tseng's eyes widened. "Reno, I think that is about enough. If you are speaking of the person I think that you are, it would be beneficial to you and your position in the Turks if you would not continue."

"Oh, yeah, I'm talking about the person you think. And, no, I'm not gonna say anything more about it. I just said she didn't wanna hear the story. Why would I continue?"

"Wait, I do wanna know!" said Elena, finally breaking and pleading with the redhead, who grinned smugly.

"No, you don't." grunted Rude, stepping over to Reno and clamping a hand on his shoulder, causing the redhead to cringe with pain.

"Shit, I didn't tell you about that, did I? About the whole back together thing?" Reno groaned. "I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it."

"That why you were so angry last night?" asked Rude.

"Heeey, you guys! What are you talking about?" pleaded Elena.

"We got in a bit of a fight…." gasped Reno between grunts of pain.

"Reno, I do have the authority to fire you, still." growled Tseng.

"You know it won't do any good. You tried that one already," Rude mumbled.

"I don't get it! Somebody tell me what you guys are going on about!" screamed Elena, trying to make someone notice her.

"But, hey, it actually was kinda like we were a real couple or something. No violence, nothing!" Reno said, prying Rude's fingers out of the dents in his shoulder.

"Maybe I'll just put you back in the hospital. We have a replacement, now." Tseng said in what could possibly be taken as a joke, but which nobody quite knew if it was meant to be one.

"He'll just heal and come back twice as annoying," possibly-joked Rude back.

"Guys…" Elena continued to plead.

"The sex was good, though." stated Reno rather casually.

The little discussion ended abruptly, with all three of Reno's co-workers staring at him, each in a different state of revulsion.

Reno shrugged. "What? I'm just being honest!"

"You are such a pig," was Elena's short reply.

"Tell me about it," said Rude.

Reno thought for a moment, and then grinned in what would have been deemed a most dauntingly maniacal fashion had it been Reno the one looking at it, but which came out looking far closer to a mix between the glossed-over look one gets after the aforementioned good sex and that odd grimace one can only achieve when something is caught in his teeth. Elena wasn't sure whether to be frightened or simply repulsed.

"Oh gods, Reno." grumbled Rude. "I'm afraid to know what you're thinking, especially with the way this conversation is going."

"Oh, it's nothing that'll really affect you. I was just thinking of how well Miss Pearce and I are gonna get to know each other, with the Turks being such a tight-knit group and all."

Elena blanched, her cheeks paling rather like she had just been hit in the face with flour.

"Oh, shit. I think I may have killed her," the redhead said, waving a hand in front of his new co-worker's horrified eyes.

"We are still not quite close enough of a group to be hearing about your…unorthodox relationships, however," hissed Tseng. Elena only moved her eyes and eyebrows to show that she was still slightly curious, although the rest of her remained frozen in her state of shock.

"Great family you all are," Reno growled. "This kinda shit you guys put me through is why we got into the argument in the first place." The redhead's voice began to grow more harsh and remarkably more loud. "Why can't you two just leave my private life alone? You all aren't in my situation, so you don't know what the fuck I'm going through. I beat myself up enough as it is about it, so I don't need help!"

"Reno, calm down," said Rude slowly.

"I'm not gonna fucking calm down until you two accept that me and You-Know-Who are together, and we're probably gonna stay together, even with the way the past eight years have been going, and I don't know why we're gonna do it, because we're always doing things like fighting or trying to kill each other or leaving for years at a time!"

"Wow, you're touchy," Elena interjected before Reno could continue.

"You're acting very juvenile," continued Tseng.

"Yeah, I got that one already," hissed the redhead.

"And you're kind of freaking me out," finished Rude.

Reno sighed. "Yeah, whatever. I don't have to deal with this shit. I'm gonna go and make myself apologize to…to…well, you know."

Rude thought for a moment. "That's why you're acting like such a dick, huh? Just because he's all pissed at you."

All three men stopped for a moment, looking around. Tseng coughed.

"She," said Reno, looking at Elena and pointing at Rude over his shoulder. "Listen to that, Rude trying to say I'm gay and shit. You don't believe that, right babe?" The redhead raised an eyebrow and made sure to take a good, hard look at Elena's crotch.

"Stop it, you perv!" screamed the female Turk, who suddenly decided that it was the right moment to deliver the kick to Reno's balls that she'd been holding out on since she had first met him. "I think I'd like you better if you were dating a guy! Then you wouldn't be such a chauvinist."

"If you only knew," whispered Rude to the young blonde woman.

"Shut up, Rude." squeaked Reno.

"I'm just fucking with the veteran."

"Funny," hissed the redhead. He gasped toward Elena next. "I'm gonna go apologize now, but not to you, you bi……you horrible woman. You had better hope you didn't do any permanent damage, or you'll have hell to pay with my significant other."

Elena simply thought Reno looked funny, and not the least bit threatening, as he hobbled out the door.

"Alright," said Tseng, breaking the laughter that followed. "Now, for the reason we came here: your mission."

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"Are you quite finished being immature now?" was the first thing Rufus asked as the sound of steps came up the stairs to his office.

"How could you tell it was me?" asked Reno, avoiding the question, as he noticed that Rufus, as he seemed to do with all of his visitors (wanted or unwanted), hadn't looked up from his files when the Turk had walked in.

Rufus kept his eyes on the papers before him as he answered. "The nervous, slow, hesitant beginning to your climb, followed by the quick, feigned attempt at a change to confidence in your step as you walked in, the small, almost inaudible sigh as you tried to compose yourself, the clicking of your mag-rod against the side of your leg while you let your left foot tap, tap, tap on the tiles, the scent of smoke and cheap scotch that precedes you when you've tried to use a crutch or two to keep you from breaking down…"

"Enough," Reno cut in.

"I also asked you that question for redundancy's sake, knowing that you wouldn't answer, and knowing even better without that reply what the unspoken answer to my question would be."

"Well, what is it then?"

"You don't know how to answer, because you didn't realize that you were being immature in the first place, but you came to apologize nonetheless, even though you're nervous and a little angry, because you don't think you even need to apologize, as you don't see what you did wrong." Rufus finally looked up, folding his hands on his desk, and suddenly noticed an odd change to Reno's stance that he hadn't anticipated.

"See, you know me so well, and yet we still manage to fight all the time. Doesn't make much sense, does it?"

"Ah, but yes it does. You see, even after all this time, you don't particularly know me. But, that fact is more my fault than yours, and that is why I am accepting your apology before you even have the chance to give it." Rufus tilted his head. "What doesn't make sense, on the other hand, is why you are standing like somebody very recently felt that he or she didn't want you to ever reproduce."

"It makes sense, because that's obviously exactly how my new co-worker feels. Could you do me a favor and kill her for me, and then give me some money for pain-killers? The woman's got a good kick to her."

Rufus leaned back and opened a drawer. He threw a bottle of pills toward the redhead. "I keep those for headaches. I need them, too, so don't take them all."

"How many before they knock me on my ass? I'm hoping these are really good pain killers."

"If you would like to be knocked on your ass, take a whole one. A half will be sufficient for mere numbing of the pain. Two will most likely send you into shock," Rufus joked in an odd kind of offhanded sing-song voice.

"Two it is, then."

Rufus laughed. Reno grinned and popped the pills into his mouth.

"Come sit down," said the blonde. "I want to talk to you."

"Am I sitting because you want me to be comfortable while you chew me out, or because I'm about to go unconscious from your mystery pills?"

"You're not going to go unconscious, at least not for a while, and I have no intention of chewing you out."

Reno shrugged , walked around the desk, and sat in Rufus' lap. "Works for me."

"I meant in a chair."

"You're in a chair, and that means I am, too." The redhead grinned, widening his eyes in a pathetic attempt at a puppy-dog pleading look. "Plus, I don't know if I believe you about the pills, and I'm hoping you'll catch me if they knock me out."

Rufus hummed slightly. "I wanted you to sit in a different chair from me because I forced myself into spending last night without your presence. After eight years without you, one night isn't enough to keep me…" The hum became a deep, throaty rumble that Reno could feel. "Satiated is a good word for it. My office isn't exactly private, you know."

"I keep forgetting how feisty you are."

"Yes, but I am going to talk to you, whether my lust is urging me to do otherwise or not."

"And how strong your friggin' willpower is."

"I have problems, Reno."

"I knew that."

"Problems that I can't solve, no matter how hard I seem to try."

Reno leaned in to the other man, wrapping his arms around Rufus' neck. "That's what I'm here for, right?"

Rufus returned the embrace, holding the redhead around the waist, but looked away from him, toward and out of one windowed wall. "That's one of my problems. As much as I plead for it within, for someone, please, to help me, I can't bring myself to plead outside of that. If I have to beg for help, I am weak, and weakness is what makes me hated. Since I was little, it's been my own weakness that's destroyed me. My weakness, and the hatred it caused me from my father."

"He's dead, Rufus."

"I know. I ran away, Reno. I ran away like a coward. You know, I never committed suicide because of that voice in the back of my head telling me 'It's the easy way out; the weak way out.' As much as I always wanted to, I never could, because I was afraid that people would perceive me as weak when I died."

"That he would?"

"Yes. But, that fear of being weak haunted me, because there was something else there, too: Another part of me screaming that I was too afraid to do it. And it was the same with my father. I couldn't kill him, as much as I hated him, because it was too easy just to destroy him. I can't deal with my problem, so I'll just eliminate it. But I did something even worse, and I just ran away and waited for someone else to do it for me."

"Rufus, that's not like you."

"I told you: You don't know me. Nobody does. But, you know what's the funniest thing? When I ran away, I realized something. I loved my mother, and when she died, I lost the most important thing that I had ever had. And then, she was more than dead. She was just gone, like she'd never been there at all. I started to forget her completely. I started to lose that last little trace of connection I'd had with her."

Reno could feel Rufus shaking under him. "Are you cold?"

"No, Reno. Not cold. I'm scared."

"Go on. There's more to this, isn't there?"

"The more and more my mother started to fade from me, the more I began to realize that, all along, I'd been looking for another connection like the one I had with her. And I would look around, at the world, at the way things were supposed to be, and I would think to myself, I'm supposed to have that connection with my mother and my father. I couldn't kill him. I couldn't do it, because it would mean I was weak, and it would mean that I would never be able to salvage that connection that I was supposed to have--that I needed to have--and I left, hoping that he would come running after me. 'Rufus, come home. I've been wrong all this time.' And then, suddenly, eight years in the blink of an eye and he was dead. He never came, and what everything inside of me was telling me was my last chance to not be utterly alone in the world was gone. I couldn't hate him, and I couldn't love him, and there were times when I wished I could have done both."

"Everything inside you? Then why'd you come back? If nobody else could keep you from being alone, why'd you come back? What is it that you're still fighting for, if you've already lost everything?"

Rufus looked at Reno. The redhead's eyes were slightly wet. It looked almost as if he had been holding back tears. Rufus couldn't understand why, until Reno smiled. The blonde asked, to make sure. "You want to be it, don't you? My last attempt at hope?"

"Yeah. Right or wrong in the eyes of the world, I want it to be me."

Rufus sighed. "I'm sorry."

"That's a 'no' then?"

"No, it's a 'yes'. I'm sorry that it hasn't been you all along."

"That's the thing. I think it has. I just don't think you've realized it, until now."

Rufus managed a bit of a smile. "You're a conceited little bastard, aren't you?"

"Yeah, a bit. But that's alright, because we're all wrong, and I think that means we have a chance."

Reno was so close to Rufus that he could see the now-dried traces of tears crack and flake away in the time-deepened creases under the blonde's eyes as the President chanced a slight, barely-noticeable laugh that only someone with a connection to Rufus like Reno had could sense.

"You're right," said Rufus "It's time I start taking chances where I was afraid to take them before."

"That's the bravest I've seen you since I met you. I think we have one problem solved."

"Now, on to the thousand-and-one others?"

"One at a time. We don't want me exploding on you, do we?"

"And, maybe, every once in a while, we can take a break from my issues and deal with a couple of yours."

Reno looked offended. "Me? Issues? I don't have those. I'm perfect."

"Oh, of course, Reno. You're not moody and insecure in the least."

"Of course not. I scoff in the face of insecurity."

Rufus smirked, and looked at the time posted in the corner of his computer screen. Reno kept blabbing on about how "perfect" he was, laughing at his own sarcasm like a near-maniac, and Rufus nodded at the clock.

"What are you up to, hm?" asked Reno, his voice beginning to slur together.

"It's about that time."

"What time?"

"Time for you to be knocked on your ass."

"Good idea," drawled Reno, who leaned on Rufus' shoulder and fell asleep with a contented sigh.

"Two problems, solved," Rufus said with a laugh to himself.

The President stood, his lover in his arms, and walked down the stairs from his office and stopped in front of his secretary's desk. "Janice, if anyone calls for me, take a message. I will be back shortly. And, do not mention this to anyone."

"Not a word," said Janice calmly, a glint in her eyes showing that she knew more than she tended to let on.

Rufus walked out, and Janice Jeanne Johanneson smiled.

QQQQQQQQ

Miya: Wow, this one took a LONG time to post. I'm sorry I've had so many of these long spaces in between postings. I had hoped I'd get this one done quickly, it being summer and all, and, oddly enough, my lack of consistent internet access had very little to do with it, because the writing took forever, too. I am really happy with this one, though (It has some of my favorite quotes and conversations of yet.), so I hope you all are, too, to account for and perhaps redeem me a little for the long waits I keep putting you guys through.

I like Janice. I really do. She's in there so little, but I've gotten kind of attached to her, even with her crazily, obnoxiously alliterated name.

Yay!