I'm having so much fun writing this story... I had no idea it would end up being this awsome! In fact, due to its success, you can expect a sequal a few weeks once it is finished!

Oh, and I'd also like to thank all of the Guest Authors for being so cool and letting me toy with them. DANCE MY PUPPETS, DANCE!!!

Upstairs

"C'mon, c'mon..." Alucard was tapping his foot impatiently on the floor while he waited for somebody to answer. He was holding the SUPER SUPER-BAD MOJAMA HOTLINE phone, and although he wouldn't never admit it, he was praying somebody would answer the phone.

"Who are you calling?" Jack Sparrow noticed what he was doing. Jack, Naruto, and Pip were all pushing against the door to the downstairs, which in turn all of the fangirls were trying to push open. Meanwhile, Renji and Jan were looking for something to push against the door... Actually, they were just letting the other guys do all the work since they were too lazy to look.

"An old friend..." Alucard frowned.

"Hopefully, he will know a way to save us..." Itachi commented.

"Pfft, like anybody can save us!" Jan fell to his knees in desperation. "We're screwed man! Screwed!" he screamed, punching the ground and sobbing uncontrallably. "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! GAME OVER, MAN!!! GAME OVER!!!"

"Pull yourself together, laddie!" Jack suddenly rushed over and yanked him up off the ground. "NOBODY IS GOING TO DIE!!! OKAY?!"

"But my brother..." Jan whimpered.

"YOUR BROTHER IS IN A BETTER PLACE NOW!!!" Jack screamed.

"Heaven?" Jan sniffed, a twinkle appearing in his eyes as he gained a glimmer of hope for his brother's eternal soul.

"No!" Jack replied bluntly, which made Jan explode into a new fit of crying. "He's being torn to pieces by beautiful women who want to do lovely things to him! Lovely, lovely things!"

"Say what?" Pip suddenly realized what he was running from. "Screw hiding!" he exclaimed. He took his weight off the door, allowing it to open slightly.

"NO, YOU FOOL!!!" Jack screamed, but it was too late. Several hands reached in through the opening, and grabbed Pip. He smirked and waved at everyone, and then in the blink of an eye he was gone. Jack dove for the door and smashed against it, slamming it back shut before it could open any further. "COWARDLY FRENCHY!!!" Jack screamed as Pip's screams of French nonsense boomed from the other side of the door.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU, MAN?!" Jan fell to his knees once again. "GAME OVER, MAN!!! GAME OVER!!!"

"THANK YOU, JESUS!!!" Alucard suddenly exclaimed.

"Huh?" everyone suddenly turned to see why Count Trigger-happy was thanking the King of Kings.

"Hello?" a voice came from the phone Alucard was holding.

"Is Agent HUNK there?" Alucard asked.

"Agent HUNK?" Itachi jumped slightly, while everyone else stared at Alucard in confusion.

"No, this is his friend Dr. Insane-O... may I ask who's calling?" the person on the other end of the line replied. "Are you a telemarketer?" he added suspiciously.

"No, I'm not a telemarketer. I'm Alucard..." he answered. "From Hellsing..."

"Oh yeah, Count Trigger-happy!" Dr. Insane-O exclaimed. "Yeah, I remember you... but uh, sorry. Agent HUNK isn't in right now..."

"But we need him to come help us!" Alucard growled.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't know where he is! Ergo, he can't save ya!" Dr. Insane-O replied impatiently.

"Well then can you help us?!" Alucard was getting a bit angry now.

"I'm too lazy..." was his answer. "But I do know somebody else who can help..."

"Who?" Alucard arched an eyebrow.

"I don't remember his name..." Dr. Insane-O responded. "But I do know he's a werewolf..."

"Oh, joy..." Alucard groaned.

"Bye!" Dr. Insane-O suddenly hung up.

Dead silence followed. Finally, Jack Sparrow broke it with a silly question. "So... who's got some rum?"

Outside

"Ground crew to bomber crew..." TK3997 was talking into his walkie-talkie while Darthjag sat behind him with a 'I-hate-you-and-I-hope-you-die' expression on his face. "Where's that air strike I ordered? This ain't the time to be takin' your dear sweet time, boys..."

"Sorry, boss..." came the answer. "But we've got other things to take care of..."

"What?!" TK3997 exclaimed in shock. "Are you disobeying my orders?! Why, you no good... wait, who are you again?"

"I'm Joey, the pilot!" said one person on the other end.

"I'm Jpalacio, the bombineer..." another voice added grimly.

"And I'm Fenrir Wolfsbane!" exclaimed a third person. "Thier cargo and the Survivors last hope!"

"Last hope my big stinky toenail!" TK3997 yelled.

"Are you sane?" Darthjag asked, but he was ignored.

"Turn that bird around ASAP! I'm going to court martial you all! Then I'll- huh?" TK3997 suddenly started to shake the walkie-talkie, which was now full of static. "They hung up on me!"

"And that's a suprise to you?" Darthjag rolled his eyes.

Up in the Sky

"Hah hah hah..." Joey cackled from the cockpit of the large bomber soaring through the skies over the woods, fangirls, and cabin. "I hung up on him! I bet he's so mad right now..."

"Must... resist... urge... to drop... ballistic missile..." Jpalacio was sitting in the seat next to him, his eyes focused on a large red button on the control panel.

"So how much longer do I have to ride in here?" asked the third person in the plane. He was wearing a green uniform, bullet proof vest, and a Hellsing badge on his sleeve. He had a smug look on his face, long brown hair in a pony tail, and piercing yellow eyes. He was none other than Fenrir Wolfsbane, an OC created by the Author Agent HUNK long ago, loved by fans and readers despite being a total idiot.

"This is your stop, actually..." Joey smirked.

"Huh?" Fenrir cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"BOMBS AWAY!!!" Jpalacio pulled a level, and a trap door opened beneath Fenrir's feet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" he screamed as he fell out of the plane. Joey and Jpalacio laughed like maniacs as he dropped like a rock.

"Dude, wait..." Joey suddenly stoped laughing. "He didn't have a parachute..."

"So?" Jpalacio shrugged. "He's a werewolf! He can survive gunshot wounds to the face and keep walking like nothing happened!"

"So he can survive a 3,000 foot drop?" Joey arched an eyebrow.

"Probably not..." Jpalacio chuckled. "But who cares? Its not like he was their last hope for survival..."

Dead silence.

"Crap..." both men groaned.

Bye, Pip...

Next chapter: Fenrir drops in to say hi, and Kakashi goes "Evil Dead" on fangirls and survivor alike.

REVIEW, PLEASE!!!