So many opportunities! But I'll probably wrap this up in about 2-3 chapters. I need to get back to work on my other fics, as this has taken up all of my time and concentration. But don't worry, there shall be a sequal...
Outside
"Ow..." Fenrir sat up groggily, rubbing his sore head. He'd landed on the semi-soft and yet incredibly hard ground skull first, and boy did he have a headache. "Well, that could have gone worse..." he grumbled. As his vision came back into focus, he realized that he was surrounded by thousands of fangirls, all of whom were staring at him. "Oh... wait... I guess it did..."
A fangirl standing near him sniffed the air. "Hm... I smell a werewolf..."
"A werewolf?!" Instantly, all of the fangirls began to look around in desperation to find the Lycanthrope. "Werewolves are so KAWAI!!! I love their little puppy ears! I want to rub his tummy!"
"Uh oh..." Fenrir paled slightly. He slowly began to crawl towards the cabin, but the moment he began to move they all realized that he was there.
"OH MY GOSH, IS THAT THE CAPTAIN!?" one fangirl screamed, pointing accusingly at him.
"Captain? As in Hellsing?!" Fenrir looked around in terror. Of all the anime characters who had to be a werewolf, why did it have to be the tall, silent, handsome guy fangirls always fall for?
"CAPTAIN!!!" several fangirls dove for Fenrir, who ducked and rolled out of the way.
"I'M NOT THE CAPTAIN!!!" he screamed in terror and frustration at the fact that nobody knew who he was. "I'M FENRIR WOLFSBANE!!!"
Dead silence. And then chaos. "FENRIR!!!" several more fangirls screamed. Now he had to worry about the Captain's fangirls, and his own, which he had no idea he had. "WE LOVE YOU CAPTAIN/FENRIR!!!" they all screamed.
"HELP MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Fenrir screamed, running for his life in the direction he hoped the cabin was in. But trapped amongst the sea of fangirls, there was no way for him to know which way led to safety, and which way led to Hell.
Inside, Downstairs
The fangirls were trying to think of a way to get upstairs, when out of nowhere the door to the basement flew open. They all turned in confusion and discovered Kakashi standing in the doorway, a sawn-off double-barrel shotgun in his left hand and a chainsaw in his right. "HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!!!" Kakashi struck a hero pose, and then blew the head off of the nearest fangirl before they could react. Instantly, the room exploded into chaos as fangirls dove for Kakashi and Kakashi embarked on a journey into the very depths of gore-filled insanity.
Inside, Upstairs
"What's all that noise?" Alucard cocked his head to the side as he heard the sound of chainsaw coming from downstairs. He, Jack, and Renji went over to the door and opened it up slightly, just enough to peek downstairs. They all gasped and stared at what they saw. "OH MY GOSH, ISN'T THAT THE NINJA?!" Renji screamed in shock.
"BLIMEY!!! HE JUST BLEW HER BLOODY HEAD OFF!!! AND HERS, TOO!!! AND HERS!!!" Jack exclaimed as several shotgun blasts boomed beneath them.
"Ninja?" Naruto crept over to the door and managed to squeeze between the other three men and sneak a peek himself. "KAKASHI-SENSEI?!"
"I've seen some brutal things in my life, but that..." Alucard shook his head slowly with a look of morbid fascination smeared across his face. "That... is just WRONG!!!"
"RETREAT!!!" several fangirls began to scream. But a few shotgun blasts later, there was no more screaming. Only the sounds of a running chainsaw and a shotgun being reloaded.
"Yo, what did I miss?" Jan swaggered over to the door and peeked through as well. "SWEET GRACIOUS!!! SO MUCH DEATH!!! ITS... ITS..."
"Groovy?" Kakashi stuck his head up against the crack in the door.
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!" Naruto threw the door open and hugged Kakashi.
"AH, HE'S INFECTED!!!" Jack screamed, drawing his sword in terror. However, Renji and Jan held him back before he could decapitate Naruto.
"No, I'm just happy to see my sensei!" Naruto exclaimed happily. Of course, nobody noticed the dull red glow developing in his eyes.
Outside
The Rescue Team wasn't getting very far into their mission. Two new Authors had joined, Serenity Sugar and Revan, but all they and the other Authors were doing was sitting around, reading manga, eating pizza, and throwing rocks at random fangirls. Meanwhile, TK3997 and Darthjag were up to their usual tricks.
"Status report!" TK3997 barked. He had changed out of the green camo and stuff that he'd had on earlier, and was now wearing a suit of red armor from the game Halo. He was also clutching a shotgun in one hand and his trusty walkie-talkie in the other.
"Um..." Darthjag looked down at a clipboard he'd somehow procured. He was now wearing an awsome green and black checkered suit and beige fedora hat, sunglasses, and Zabuza-ish bandages all over his face. (See his profile for better description and pic...) "Joe of the Furlongs and Jpalacio dropped Fenrir Wolfsbane into the mass of fangirls, Kakashi went "Evil Dead" on everything even remotely fangirl-ish, and we're almost out of pizza..."
"NOT THE PIZZA!!!" TK3997 screamed. "We need subsistance in order to slay the fangirl menace without rest!"
"Okay, seriously, who made you the leader?" Darthjag sighed.
"I took the Kenpachi Zaraki route..." TK3997 shrugged.
"The guy from Bleach, you mean? How so?" Darthjag was somewhat afraid to hear the answer to his own question.
"I shot the real leader in the face..." TK3997 replied. He then reached behind his back, and then held his arms back out. Clutched in his hand was a skull with several small holes in the forehead, most likely caused by buckshot, and the word "EX-LEADER" scribbled on the top of it with a black sharpie. "See? I'm a good shot, and I've got some awsome caligraphy skills!"
"Oh sweet merciful gracious..." Darthjag was slowly backing away. "Um... I'm going to... go... and... uh... get-"
"You're going to stay right here and be a good little soldier boy, unless told otherwise. GOT IT!?" TK3997 snarled, shoving his shotgun into Darthjag's face.
"SIR, YES SIR!!!" Darthjag saluted nervously.
"Such a good little meat-puppet..." TK3997 chuckled. "Now, about that airstrike I wanted..." he returned his attention to his previous engagements. He picked up his walkie-talkie, which he'd dropped in order to grab the skull, and tuned it into the bomber's frequency. "Joey! Jpalacio! Come in, bomber boys! We need some napalm, and we need it now!"
His reply came in the form of static and white noise. "I think its broke, sir..." Darthjag commented quietly.
"Nonsense!" TK3997 replied stoutly, shaking the walkie-talkie violently. "Listen! The static is getting louder!"
Sure enough, the static was getting louder. And so was the white noise. At first, only a few words could be heard every now and then. But as the static grew louder, the voices could be heard more clearly. "Help... me... Silent... get out... demons... FIESTA GRANDE!!!... help...no... escape... death..." dull and faded voices faded in and out of the frequency.
"Um... sir..." Darthjag slowly took a few steps back.
"Yeah, I guess you're right... It is broke..." TK3997 sighed as he threw the walkie-talkie over his shoulder.
Clang.
"Huh?" TK3997 turned around to see what the walkie-talkie had hit. "Oh, dear..."
"That's what I tried to tell you about, sir..." Darthjag gulped nervously.
Standing over the two men was none other than Pyramid Head. He had his Great Blade in one hand, and a GPS tracker in the other hand. Judging from the way he was standing and the way his chest heaved as he breathed heavily, he was obviously P.O.ed beyond the limits of human imagination. And apparently getting hit in the head with a walkie-talkie had not helped his mood. "WHO. STOLE. MY. CAR?" he growled.
"Boy, you're a big fella! They must know what to feed you boys where you come from!" TK3997 stared up at the towering monstrosity.
"WAS IT YOU?" Pyramid Head growled.
"What type of car was it?" Darthjag interjected.
"A NEON-GREEN SUV. IT... ITS MY BABY... AND I WANT IT BACK..." A hint of sadness could be detected in Pyramid Head's voice.
"It went that way..." Darthjag pointed at the cabin.
"THANKS..." Pyramid Head nodded and then walked off in the direction of the cabin.
"Phew..." TK3997 exhaled a sigh of relief. "Thanks, soldier! If you hadn't stepped in, he probably would have killed me!"
Darthjag stared at TK3997 for a moment. He then fell to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably. "WHY?! WHY DID I HAVE TO ASK?! WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"
"Because you're the best soldier any commanding officer could ask for..." TK3997 sniffed, his heart touched by his soldier's bravery and devotion. "Other than Solid Snake or somebody actually usefull..."
"I hate you..." Darthjag grumbled. "So very freaking much..."
Pyramid Head has come to party! Oh yeah! Will the Survivors get raped by Pyramid Head? Or the fangirls? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
Review, please!