Disclaimer: Yes! I don't own POTC! Are you happy now? Oh yeah, and I don't own Catherine Tate either, but I aint really bothered about that!
Chapter 3: A most excellent entrance, the Queen, and the proposal
(The sexiest guy alive, jack sparrow, has a boat that's sinking quickly. He glides stunningly through the water, with his boat half sunk. He steps off onto the pier.)
Harbourmaster: (to jack) what? Hey! Hold up there, you! It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock. (Looks at sunken boat) What happened to your boat? It's well sunk!
Jack: (pauses) Am I bothered though? I aint bothered though, so shut up! Is my face bothered though?
Harbourmaster: You look a bit bothered though, let's just leave it!
Jack: I aint bothered though! Shut up!
Harbourmaster: And I shall need to know your name
Jack: Am I bothered though? I aint giving you my name though, you might be a pervert or summat! Get out of my face!
Harbourmaster: Look, give me the money or ill kick you out!
Jack: I like your shoes though, where ya get them from?
Harbourmaster: umm… just give me the money and your name!
Jack: I aint bothered though! Face bothered, name bothered, boat bothered, shoes bothered, I AINT BOTHERED! (Walks off)
Harbourmaster: Welcome to Port Royal, Mr Smith. (Jack nicks harbourmasters money from desk)
(Shows a bit of Norrington the eggs promotion ceremony – extremely rubbish, as there is no jack!)
(At the decks by the dauntless and the interceptor)
Murtogg: (spots Jack) Hey! This dock is off limits to civilians!
Jack: And? I'm not a civilian! I am very good friends with the queen!
Mullroy: Ooh really? It must be so nice to be close to her. (dribbles) She is soo hot! (Jack and Murtogg give Mullroy weird look) What? Can you put in a good word for me? Please? I haven't had a girlfriend since my 17th birthday!
Jack: Ooo Kkkk…… So can I have a look?
Mullroy: Of course, but only if you give me one of those signed knickers the queen has on the market. I'm dying to get some.
(They go on the ship)
(Back to Norringtons ceremony. Up on the battle forts high above the sea.)
Norrington: May I have a moment up here, on the battlements over the sea that looks like a disaster is waiting to happen?
Elizabeth: (fanning herself to hide the fake throwing up) uh huh.
Norrington: I, uh, apologize if I seem forward, but I must speak my mind. This promotion throws into sharp relief that which I have not yet achieved. Uh, A marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: (under her breath) think of an excuse, think of an excuse, think of an excuse! Ah ha! Got one! (To Norrington) I… can't breathe.
Norrington: (turns around) I'm feeling a little nervous myself.
Elizabeth: (under her breath) yes! It's my chance! GERONIMO! (She jumps off the battlements to escape from the old creepy guy.)
Lolz lurvin Mullroy and the Queen! Lmao plz review :D sorrii for not updating sooner, I jus cudnt be bothered – Am I bothered tho?