The Lord of the Apples

(A High-School Setting)

FELLOWSHIP OF THE APPLES PART 1

CHAPTER 7
THE NEXT DAY

A/N: Just to warn you, a favourite, but forgotten, character is going to make an
appearance in this chap!

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Frodo Baggins, new owner of Bag End, waved a cheerful farewell to passing elves, dwarves, hobbits, guys, girls, and other teenage participants of Bilbo's Party. The tired, but happy, hobbit sighed in satisfaction as he turned towards his hobbit-hole's round, green door. "That was one wicked party," he whispered contently to himself as he walked into Bag End.

"Frodo!!!"

Hearing his name called from within his Hobbit-hole, Frodo whirled around from closing the door to face the tall figure standing in the shadows of his entrance hall, terror written on his round, hobbit face. "AAARGH!! THERE'S A TEACHER IN MY HOUSE! HELP ME!!!" yelled the frightened hobbit as he pointed frantically at the figure in the shadows-- Gandalf.

The Grey Wizard smiled and waved happily to the staring passerby's as he closed and locked the door Frodo had left open in his fright. "Frodo! It's okay, calm down," shouted Gandalf over Frodo's screams as he turned back to the petrified young hobbit. "I'm not a teacher anymore!"

"Oh. Okay then," Frodo Baggins immediately stopped screaming and smiled.

Gandalf, deciding not to question Frodo's abrupt change of attitude, formally pointed towards the apple lying on the hallway rug and said (in a majestic voice), "The Apple has passed to you, Frodo Baggins."

"The what has passed to who-now?"

Sighing and rolling his eyes at the stupidity of all things hobbit-like, Gandalf decided that he'd forgo another speech and reduced his message into another three words that he hoped to Valar hobbits could understand, "Apple. Pass. You."

"Dude."

"Lord all Mighty!" Gandalf opened his hands and turned his face imploringly skywards. Why was he, of all wizards, cursed to deal with teenage Middle-Earthlings? Specifically teenage hobbit Middle-Earthlings.

Scratching his side and glancing nervously at the hall clock, Frodo decided that Gandalf could converse with the ceiling another time. "Well Gandalf, dude," the hobbit yawned, "I gotta get to bed."

Gandalf calmly surveyed the new owner of Bag End, "I'll see you tomorrow then, Frodo." And he turned on his heel, swung the round door open, and walked away into the cool September night.

"What's tomorrow?" called Frodo after the grey wizard.

"School."

"Hey! You lied to me!" exclaimed Frodo as he stared blankly at Gandalf's departing form, "OH MY LORD- THERE WAS A TEACHER IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!"

Gandalf chuckled as he listened to Frodo's fading screams and lighted his pipe. "I'm NOT smoking!!!" he yelled as a pair of teenage elves passed by wide-eyed.

The Next Day

(A/N: Frodo decided to bring the Apple to school in his pocket.)
The four hobbits sat at a table in the cafeteria of MECI contently eating lunch-

"Dude, pass me the hot sauce," Frodo muttered to Pippin through a mouthful of burrito.

"Ho-Ya,"

Merry glanced without much curiosity at Pippin as he sat with a blank look on his face. "He hasn't been the same since the party," he stated, handing Frodo the hot sauce and returning to his lunch.

"Ho-Ya,"

Ignoring Pippin, Frodo turned to Sam and Merry, his hand going to his pocket, "Check this ou-"

"Female Elves entering the caf, " Frodo, Sam and Merry all turned to Pippin, who had apparently snapped out of his daze.

Merry twitched convulsively, "Nooo.."

Frodo grimaced, "At least this time we'll be smart enough to- Pip, where'd he go?"

"Look!" Merry was pointing, mouth agape, at Pippin. The two hobbits sat turned in their chairs, watching the fourth of their party in disbelieve, Sam, who had glanced up indifferently at the other three, returned to reading his Nancy Drew book.

"He's walked up to the Elf Chicks," Frodo whispered in a hoarse voice and covered his eyes, "Poor guy, I'll miss him."

Merry's eyes widened in shock, "They've invited him to sit with them!!"

"No," Frodo quickly removed his hands from his eyes.

"I can't believe my eyes!"

"I know what to do," Frodo almost yelled as he pulled the Apple out of his pocket, twisted the stem and disappeared.

"That is freak'n awesome," said Merry in awe. Frodo was unsure whether he was talking about Pippin's luck with the Elf Chicks, or his vanishing act.

The eye that was the students of MECI's Principal burst into even hotter flames as it's pupil dilated. "Apple. in. use. Must. kill. user." he muttered in a strained voice which echoed around his office. Sauron yelled into his intercom microphone "Naz-gurls attack!!!!!"

A scream rose from a back room of the Office and nine girls ran out screeching, "Ahhhhhhhhhttaaaaaaccck!!!"

Sauron cackled in maniacal glee.

Everyone in the rest of the Office continued their work and chatter, as if they didn't hear the ravings and evil laughter from the other side of the door marked 'Principal', they all did, but no one had the courage to ask Mr. Sauron where his voice came from, him being an eye and all.

"Uh- Frodo, do you happen to hear the high pitched screeching of your name?" Merry asked his friend nervously as he glanced around for the source of the sound.

"Nope," said Frodo's voice.

"Frodo, turn that thing off."

"Why?"

"Because there are a group of EVIL girls bee-lining straight for us- THAT'S WHY!!" Merry yelled, his eye's widening.

"The Apple will protect me."

"Frodo, Dude," Merry's voice deepened ominously, "The Apple calls to them."

"Fine, fine. I'll turn it off if you hide under the table with me."

"Done!" yelled Merry and he and Frodo dove under the table to see nine girls run by screaming at the top of their lungs

"Oh dude," muttered Frodo as he watched in terror.

Aragorn, who was also sitting in the cafeteria, failed to notice the pandemonium that was occurring on the opposite side of the large room. He was, in fact, unable to notice anything except for Éowyn, who was sitting in his lap, "…and did I tell you how beautiful your eyes are?"

Éowyn giggled happily, "No, Arry, you didn't," she fluttered her eyelashes, "tell me."

"The most beautiful-" Aragorn stopped as someone timidly tapped his shoulder. The two turned to see Faramir standing behind them with a confused look on his face.

"Umm- I'm.. Well, my-ah. My name's Faramir." Aragorn raised his right eyebrow.

"Your point?"

"You're Aragorn," stated Faramir, who kept glancing nervously between Éowyn an Aragorn, a crimson blush creeping up his cheeks.

"You noticed." Aragron said as sarcastically as he could. Faramir's blush deepened.

"I'm his girl friend," said Éowyn happily in a girly voice.

Faramir swallowed and looked back at Aragron, "Dude, weren't you going out with an Elf?"

"Not anymore, I got Éowyn here." Aragorn smiled at Éowyn, who giggled.

"Oh- well, just to let you know," Faramir rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Arwen's going out-"

Aragorn jumped out of his seat, dumping Éowyn ungracefully to the floor, "WHAT?!?!?!"

"with an elf named Legolas," finished Faramir, wincing.

"STUPID ELF-PREP-PRIM-SMART-BOY!!! I'LL DAMNED WELL KILL HIM FOR TOUCHING MY ARWEN!!!!! I'M GOING TO RIP HIS FU-"

While Aragorn continued shouting at no one in particular, telling them what he was going to do to various parts of Legolas' body, Éowyn had opened her bag and removed her bottle of love potion. As she was about to pour it into Aragorn's drink she noticed some bold, red writing on the label it read:

WARNING!
THIS LOVE POTION COTAINS RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS.
IT MAY CAUSE PERMANENT DAMAGE IF OVER DOSED.
ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE- USE WITH CARE!
(this product works only on men, results of use on a woman is dangerous)

Éowyn shrugged and finished pouring the rest of the potion into Aragorn's soda. "Arry, your drink," she said turning to him with it in her hand.

"Right," Aragorn paused his shouting to take a sip and forgot to start again, "Hey- Baby. You wanna come over after school?"

Éowyn smiled victoriously, "Okay. Hey, Farm-head, leave us alone."

"Fine." Grumbled an overly confused Faramir as he stalked off.

Sitting at a table with his books scattered before him was a fair, blond haired, blue-eyed elf. Legolas was muttering to himself, his pencil tapping a beat on the cafeteria table, "If x is the sum of a+b and b is equal to c, which is equal to q, which equals 6, what is 1/2 the answer?"

"Hey its 56!" shouted Gimli as we walked by.

"Umm, no. I'm not listening to a stupid Dwarf," the Elf snapped back.

"Suit yourself," said Gimli shrugging.

"Idiot."

Gimli stopped and slowly turned back to face Legolas, "What did you just call me."

"An idiot,"

"You wanna piece of this?!! It sure looks like you wanna piece of this!!" Shouted the Dwarf as he walked back toward Legolas.

Legolas wrinkled his nose in disgust, "In truth, I'd rather not."

"Bite Me!!"

"Ah- No," said Legolas as he grabbed his books and left in revulsion.

Gimli smiled and signaled to a group of his friends, "Okay Guys, I found a table!"

Faramir was standing slumped against a wall in one of the hallways, having left the cafeteria, he sung softly to himself as he stared at the floor, "One is the loneliest number…"

"Who are you, my lad?" asked a friendly voice.

Looking up Faramir saw a custodian sweeping the debris and lunch remains from the hallway he was standing in, he smiled a sorry little smile and replied, "Oh, I'm just the Farm-boy."

"Kid," said the custodian as he paused his work and leaned on his broom, "you seem to have no self-confidence."

"I have plenty of self-confidence. Puh-lenty."

The custodian smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. "Just do what I do when I'm down or bored: Sing."

Faramir looked at the strange little man in his blue coat and yellow boots as if he was the stupidest person alive, "Wasn't I just doing that?"

"Happy Tunes, kid. Like 'Hey, derry dol, merry dol!'" sang the custodian as he started dancing, blue coat flying, "Fun stuff." He added as he stopped.

Faramir continued to look dubiously at the smiling man, "Oh-kaay, I'll try. Umm, who are you?"

"I'm Tom Bombadil, your friendly custodian."

"Ah,"

"If you ever need help, just sing and I'll be there." Said Tom smiling and walked away, dragging his broom along with him.

"That was interesting," Faramir muttered as he watched Tom dance off with his broom singing

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;
Bright Blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.

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Yup, that was Tom Bomdadil. Had to throw him into my story somewhere.