-1If It Isn't Love, It's Friendship
By Lily in a Pond
Disclaimer: Do I look Japanese? NO. Do I draw superbly? NO. Am I a man? …Hopefully not, as this would cause many complications.
Summary: A little bolt of inspiration strikes Naruto, and he gets the idea to have a Halloween party, complete with costumes.
To Nightshadow Dweller: Thank you so much for mentioning that! I didn't even notice it as I was editing, not even when I edited it a second time! Thank you!
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Two days before Halloween, October 29th, Naruto was struck by inspiration. Literally.
At Team Seven's training grounds, Naruto had been fighting with his clones while Sasuke and Kakashi had been sparring with each other (Sakura was volunteering at the hospital). Chidori Sr. and Chidori Jr. had been, predictably, using Chidori, the lightning-based technique that does quite a number on you. And when two extremely dangerous and talented ninjas like that use Chidori at the exact same time…Armageddon will happen sooner or later.
So to make a long story short, here's what happened in the span of only twenty minutes.
1. Sasuke and Kakashi charge towards each other.
2. The lightning blades meet and Chidori Sr. and Chidori Jr. are at a standstill.
3. While each is using all their strength to push their lightning towards the other, they both fail to notice that they are edging slightly to the right, where Naruto is happily beating up one of his clones.
4. In one last burst of strength, the two manage to electrocute each others' arms, and they fall back, exhausted.
5. They fail to notice the huge ball of lightning rushing towards Naruto.
6. Naruto's body is lifted into the air, and then dropped as all the lightning enters his body.
7. Naruto slumps down, body limp. Sasuke and Kakashi stare in horror, both thinking that they have killed Naruto.
8. Sasuke and Kakashi run faster than the speed of light, racing to the hopsital, where Sakura is.
9. Upon hearing the news, Sakura beats them both unconscious. Luckily, they are at the hospital, so they are rescued by Shizune and put on a bench outside.
10. Sakura rips three trees in half with her bare hands after bringing Naruto to the hospital. She drops the broken trees on the still-unconscious bodies on Sasuke and Kakashi on the bench.
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Naruto opened his eyes a crack and saw the color pink. The pink was very pink. Seriously.
"Sakura-chan! What are you doing here? I thought you were at the hospital!"
"This is the hospital, stupid," Sasuke growled from the corner of the room. Naruto looked curiously around the room.
"Really? How did I get here?"
Sakura rounded on Kakashi, who was rereading Icha Icha Paradise and looking completely calm. "This is all your fault! Naruto was already unintelligent! Now you've completely fried his brain! He has nothing left! And stop smirking, Sasuke-kun; you contributed to this result."
Naruto squinted. "What are you talking about? My brain is perfectly - OOH! LET'S HAVE A HALLOWEEN PARTY! - fine; there's nothing wrong with it."
Sasuke and Sakura stared. Even Kakashi lifted his eyes off his book for a second to look at Naruto.
"Really, there's nothing wrong - IT WOULD BE SO FUN! WE COULD HAVE COSTUMES! - I'm fine, Sakura-chan - AND ALCOHOL! WE HAVE TO HAVE ALCOHOL! - there's no need to worry. I'm perfectly fine."
"Er…Naruto? Maybe you should get a brain scan," Sakura suggested gently. "You know, just in case."
"Why would I want to - I WANT A HALLOWEEN PARTY!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs. " - do that? I WANT TO PARTY LIKE IT'S 1999!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Idiot."
"Let him have the party."
Sasuke and Sakura turned to stare in shock at Kakashi. "WHAT?!"
"We don't even know what the heck Halloween is, much less what a Halloween party is!" Sakura shrieked, slapping Naruto's opening mouth shut with one hand. However, you must remember Sakura has inhuman strength. With one slap, Naruto delicately fainted.
"We are not having a Halloween party," Sasuke said quietly, yet determinedly (how extraordinary!). "I am not dressing up in costumes or drinking alcohol."
"Why don't you kids just go to the library and find out what Halloween is?" Kakashi suggested with a smile. "I'll stay with Naruto and read him a story or something."
"Oh, no, you're not!" Sakura cried. "We know the types of stories you have! Naruto doesn't need more pervertedness from you; he's going to crack from both you and Jiraiya!"
"Yes, Naruto is - " Sasuke paused to think of the proper word.
" - Above the influence!" Sakura blurted out. "Now, since I do want to know what Halloween is, and I'm sure you do too, Sasuke," she said, ignoring Sasuke's glare, "I'm leaving Tonton here with you," she ended, pointing to the small pink pig who had nosed her way into the room. "Tonton's a good girl, isn't she?" she cooed, stroking her hand across Tonton's back. "Aren't you, Tonton? Oh, yes, you are! Such a good little girl!"
"Let's go," Sasuke said, sounding annoyed, tugging roughly on Sakura's arm.
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"Halloween, a western tradition exhibited mainly in America that is denoted by the wearing of costumes and asking for candy on October 31st. For further information, see All Hallow's Eve," Sakura read.
"Asking for candy," Sasuke repeated.
"Candy," Sakura agreed.
"Candy."
"Candy."
"Hmm……candy," Sasuke mused. Sakura's eyes widened.
"You're not seriously considering letting Naruto have his Halloween party, are you? I know I hit you and Kakashi-sensei really hard in the head an hour ago, but you couldn't have suffered brain damage from that!"
"Hey, what are we reading?" Ino's suspiciously cheerful, chirpy voice cut in. Sakura and Sasuke looked up.
"Ino? What are you doing here, I thought you couldn't read," Sakura smirked.
"Nice, forehead girl. I'm here to pick up a book for Shikamaru; he needs this nine-hundred page block of wood about medicinal herbs."
"Oh, you must be talking about the book that covered Konoha when it rained."
"Really? I thought it was the one that protected Tea Country from locusts with its thick cover."
"No, that was another one - a three-thousand pager."
Sasuke looked between the two. "…I'm leaving. Women," he muttered as he closed the door behind him.
As soon as the sound of Sasuke's footsteps disappeared and they couldn't detect his chakra anymore, Ino turned back to Sakura. "So what were you two really reading about? Dr. Naruko's Guide to a Perfect Relationship? That's a real book; I've actually perused it," Ino added seriously.
Sakura sighed. "We wanted to find out what was Halloween. Apparently - "
"I love Halloween!" Ino exclaimed. "It's that holiday where you dress up and go to people's houses and beg shamelessly for sweets!"
Sakura was momentarily speechless. Recovering, she managed, "Er…you've heard of it?"
Ino laughed dismissively. "Of course I have. Shikamaru told me and Chouji about it when he came back from that diplomatic mission a year ago."
"Oh, yeah, the mission with Temari and the Mist girl."
"Yes, that was the one," Ino gritted out tersely. "Anyway…are you two going to have a costume party or something? I hear the Uchiha Manor is the perfect setting for a huge blowout."
"We are not having a party," Sakura ground out between her teeth. "Halloween is a stupid holiday," she said, ignoring Ino's wounded gasp. " - in which children, not fifteen-year-olds, ask for candy, and idiotic people actually dress up in strange costumes."
"Fine," Ino sighed. As Sakura turned to place the book back on its shelf, she raised her eyebrows sneakily and murmured, "We'll see about that……"
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"Um……….I c-came to…s-see you, Naruto-kun," Hinata stuttered, loosely holding a bouquet of vividly orange tiger lilies. The now-conscious Naruto's eyes sparked.
"Hey, thanks, Hinata-chan! Are those for me?" he asked excitedly, peering over the tall iron bedpost. Hinata looked shyly at her feet and wordlessly thrust the flowers into Naruto's arms. Naruto grinned.
"That was so nice of you! Thanks!"
"Well, I'll leave you two alone," Kakashi said abruptly, leaving the shadows of the room and exiting quickly. Hinata blushed. It was just her and Naruto. Alone.
"So……." Naruto's mouth was suddenly very dry and he took a hasty gulp of water. "So, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a long while, ever since me, Sasuke, and Sakura got that four-month mission to Hidden Waterfall."
"I've b-been well," Hinata said quietly. "Akamaru's mate had s-some puppies and Kiba g-g-gave one to me. I've been t-taking care of him for three m-months now."
Naruto was silent for a moment. "Hey, Hinata? Can I ask you something?" Startled, Hinata nodded quickly. "Have you ever had the feeling of being so happy you want to burst out? Have you ever looked at someone and realized that something warm and fluttery is growing in your stomach? Have you been so stricken with obsession that it just seems…well, I don't know…but it just seems like the world can end tomorrow and you'll be happy if you can just see them smile, just once?"
Hinata looked down and pressed the tips of her index fingers together. "Well…Naruto-kun……it sounds like you're in love. Who is it?" she asked, her voice strangely strong.
"That's the weird thing," Naruto said, shaking his head. "I can't figure out who. She's like this shadow that appears before my eyes. I thought it might be Sakura-chan at first, but then I realized she and Sasuke were meant to be together…"
Hinata abruptly stood up. "I h-hope you get better s-soon, Naruto-kun," she whispered, before quickly exiting from the room. Naruto looked at the closed door in confusion. His mind whirled.
What just happened?
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"If we're having a Halloween party, it's going to be at my house," Neji said determinedly.
Sasuke smirked. "Right, Hyuuga. That tiny little chicken coop couldn't fit eight people even if it got rid of all those stupid duck ponds you have. The party's going to be at my house."
Inner Ino did a little gleeful dance as she scrutinized the two prodigies. Her plan was working exactly the way she wanted it to! Though, technically, it wasn't really Ino's plan; Shikamaru came up with it (in 0.5 seconds, no less).
The plan Shikamaru came up with was unbelievably stupid. All Ino had to do was casually mention a Halloween party to Neji with Sasuke in the same area, and innocently wonder where they were going to have a party, as nowhere in Konoha was big enough. Neji, taking the bait, would pompously declare that his house was the absolute biggest in Konoha and even Fire Country (interestingly enough, the Hyuuga complex was supposedly larger than the daimyo's mansion).
Of course, that plan involved action from Sasuke as well. Fortunately, he simply happened to be eating ramen with Naruto at Ichiraku Ramen. Wasn't that lucky?
Ino definitely thought so.
After the plan was initiated and Neji took the bait, Sasuke was supposed to brag that his house was bigger and start an all-out war.
What really happened was that Sasuke bragged that his house was bigger and started an almost-all-out war with Hyuuga Neji. You see the difference?
Ino was now chuckling to herself with the sheer simplicity of it all. However, judging by the frightened and disturbed looks on Tenten, who was with Neji, Chouji, and Shikamaru's faces, perhaps Ino's laughter wasn't contained entirely to herself.
"My house is bigger," Neji repeated stubbornly.
"My house is," Sasuke fired back, the dots in his eyes beginning to spin crazily. Neji saw this and immediately started activating his Byakugan at a very slow pace, something he had learned from his uncle, Hiashi, about a year ago. Apparently, the slow revealing of the eye condition and the veins on the side of his head created more fear in enemies than instant-presto Byakugan.
As the two argued like a bunch of old wives on market day, Kiba and Shino arrived with Akamaru in tow.
"Hey, guys, what's up - oh," Kiba trailed off, noticing the activated bloodlines. "Well, we're just leaving. See you all soon!"
"We should've invited Kiba to the party," Ino whispered to Tenten. "I hear he's a real party animal." Tenten looked sorely tempted to chase, screaming, after Kiba.
"My house is bigger."
"My house is."
"Why can't we just have the party in the park?" Naruto asked through a mouthful of ramen.
Ino rolled her eyes. "Why can't we have the party in the park, he says," she scoffed. "Naruto, you idiot, you have to have a Halloween party at someone's house. It's a social rule."
Naruto frowned. "But this is going to take forever. It's so intense," he whined. "Hey, Sasuke, if you don't want your noodles, can I have them?"
Sasuke 'hn'ed, not tearing his eyes off Neji's. Naruto shrugged, tugged the bowl towards him, and inhaled it in no less than ten seconds.
"Hey, what's going on? Are you two having another staring contest?"
Ino mentally groaned. Why did Forehead Girl have to show up at a time like this! She screamed angrily in her head. Now her - ahem, Shikamaru's - plan was foiled!"
Shikamaru turned to Ino and blinked in that slow, lazy way that only Ino knew what it meant.
Ino smiled in relief. Shikamaru had a backup.
"They're not having a staring contest, they're deciding whose house the Halloween party is going to be at," Shikamaru informed Sakura. As Sakura's jaw dropped and she placed her hands on her hips, ready to loudly declare that there was going to be no Halloween party, Shikamaru hastily said, "It's getting dark," and pointed to the clear blue sky. "You two should wrap it up."
"We are not having a Halloween party!" Sakura screeched. "What part of that do you not understand?"
"Hinata-chan!" Naruto cried joyfully as he spotted the white-eyed girl walking timidly towards them. "Come over here! I'll treat you to some ramen!"
Hinata shyly took a seat next to Naruto and they started muttering in such low tones no one could hear what they were talking about.
"Halloween is stupid! It's for children, not teenagers!" Sakura continued rambling, arms flailing everywhere.
"That's why we're having a Halloween party, instead of going around and asking for candy," Ino said. "Besides, what are you getting so worked up about, Sakura? We never said you were actually invited."
Sasuke and Neji's staring contest was put on hold as everyone "ooh"ed. Sakura's face turned bright red as she huffed and puffed, speechless. Finally, she stalked off, leaving craters for footprints in the ground.
"That wasn't very nice, Ino," Chouji spoke up.
"Well, I'm not nice," Ino grinned. "Besides, she'll come back. They always come crawling back to Ino."
"Jeez," Shikamaru groaned as he looked at the emotionless Sasuke and Neji, who had resumed their staring contest. "Why don't we just flip a coin?"
"That sounds good," Sasuke said. Neji glared as him.
"That's an excellent, well-thought idea, Shikamaru," he countered. As Sasuke opened his mouth to reply back, Ino elbowed him out of the way.
"Sasuke, heads or tails?" she asked. Sasuke attempted to stare the coin down with his Sharingan.
"Tails," he quietly muttered. Ino spun the coin with expert precision through the air.
"Heads," she announced.
Neji smirked. "I knew it. It was fated to happen."
As everyone rolled their eyes, Sasuke flipped Neji off and walked away.
"Well, that settles it," Ino said briskly. "Naruto, you and Kiba - remember to invite him and Shino - will supply the alcohol. Chouji, you're in charge of food. Tenten - oh, yeah, invite Lee, too; he's fun - you and Hinata will be change of decorations. And Shikamaru and I will be finding ways to soundproof the Hyuuga manor so the police won't arrest us for excessive noise. Everyone got their stations? Good. Fan out!"
As everyone dispersed, only Naruto and Hinata remained. "So…I expect you're b-be wearing an o-orange costume, Naruto-kun?"
Naruto paused halfway through a spoonful of noodle soup. "Whoa…how did you guess, Hinata?"
Hinata simply smiled.
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After the clock struck eight o'clock in the Hyuuga house, the guests started arriving, one by one. Naruto was the first. He was dressed in an unbelievably bright orange jumpsuit, similar to the one he wore on regular days. Upon entering, he proceeded to loudly and exuberantly tell Neji he was a car repairman. Neji quickly ushered him into the living room before his uncle found out such a troublesome, loud, and hyper person was to be staying at the Hyuuga compound for four hours.
Tenten was already there, for reasons she did not reveal throughout the entire night. However, as nearly everyone in Konoha knew Tenten practically lived with the Hyuugas nowadays, they paid no attention to it.
The weapons mistress herself was wearing a rather shiny costume - she was covered from head to toe with kunais and shuriken. Her muffled voice informed the guests that she was a suit of armor.
Ino and Chouji were next to arrive, meeting at the front door at the exact same time. What a coincidence! Ino was dressed in a rather indecent outfit consisting of a barely-there tube top, leather miniskirt, and outlandishly high shoes. She had also styled and curled her hair for the occasion. When Neji asked her what she was, Ino had simply shrugged and replied,
"A biker chick/prostitute/slut."
Chouji was wearing a colorful brown costume. He proclaimed he was a roasted, stuffed, and spiced chicken. Neji stared.
Neji was very surprised when Hinata arrived. Though he hadn't seen her all day, he thought she was somewhere in the house, planting flowers or something of the sort. It certainly is strange, Neji thought, that Hinata is a Hyuuga and somewhere else; and Tenten isn't and she hangs around the house all the time.
Well, isn't that an interesting thought?
Hinata was wearing a sparkling white angel costume, complete with halo and wings. Neji had sneered at her as she walked in and Hinata's plastic halo's light had gone out immediately.
A green-clad (celery) Lee tripped in enthusiastically, greeting Neji with a warm welcoming hug (Neji sealed twenty of Lee's tenketsu points in no less than 5 seconds while wrapped in the hug). Lee was sent nearly in tears over his rejected hug, to the living room.
Shino arrived with Kiba (they seem to be together quite often…) about ten minutes later. Kiba was mourning the loss of Akamaru, who Neji had strictly lectured about the day before the party about the consequences of bringing a dog to the Hyuuga house. Shino had opted for a business suit and tie, keeping his shades. Though he did not say anything, Neji fully suspected he was masquerading as a spy. Kiba, on the other hand, looked completely miserable in a ridiculously adorable cat suit with matching ears and tail. He growled menacingly at Neji when Neji dared to ask what he was.
Sasuke stomped in a few minutes after Shino and Kiba arrived, sneering at Neji. Neji was sorely tempted to slam the door in his face, but a look from Tenten made him reconsider. Sasuke was wearing a vampire costume with a large, wide collar - he was dressed in black velvet from head to toe. Neji noticed he wasn't wearing the usual fangs, but he suppposed Sasuke's Sharingan eyes, which were now activated, were frightening enough.
A minute before eight-twenty, Shikamaru strolled in lazily, hands stuffed in his pockets. He wore his regular clothes and insisted that he was a Genin pretending to be a Chunin (which, if you look at it skill-wise, is true).
As the party started and Neji slipped a record into the Hyuugas' extremely large music player, Ino began the countdown for Sakura's arrival. As the clock neared nine, she began counting aloud.
"Twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven…"
"…Negative fifty-five, negative fifty-six, negative fifty-seven…"
"Give it up, Ino," Tenten sighed. "She's not coming."
"She WILL come!" Ino retorted. "If she doesn't……then Shikamaru's going to get beat up tomorrow!"
Shikamaru blinked. "Well, that's fine by me, since I get beat up by you everyday," he said.
Ding…Dong…….Ding……..Dong.
Neji had barely stood up to open the door before Sakura whirled, a mass of pink ruffles and lace. Ino smirked triumphantly.
"I was right, Tenten! She did come!"
Tenten rolled her eyes. "Well, now that everyone's here, why don't we play a game?"
"Hey, this is Hyuuga's house," Kiba interrupted. "Who made you hostess?"
"Ever since I told Neji I was pregnant and that he'd have to marry me," Tenten said smugly. Then she burst out laughing at the shocked looks on everyone's faces, including Neji's. "I'm kidding!"
Neji sat down heavily on the white leather couch. "I think I'm going to sit out whatever game you want to play, Tenten."
Tenten grinned, showing sharp, pointy, teeth. "Well, my dear friends, the game we're about to play………requires alcohol."
Kiba gasped theatrically. "No way!" he shouted sarcastically.
Ino elbowed him. "Quiet," she ordered. "Continue, Tenten."
"This game does not have a given name…….but for tonight, I'll call it………Drunken Secrets."
"That's a stupid name," Sasuke said quietly. Tenten rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. But you want to play, don't you?"
"I'm well above drinking games," Sasuke said seriously. "But sure, I'll play."
Tenten smirked. "Then, let us begin."
A few minutes later, Tenten came out of the Hyuuga's kitchen with a large platter loaded with little shot glasses that were already filled with vodka, tequila, and all sorts of alcoholic drinks. Neji appeared after her, carrying another tray of the same thing and holding four bottles of wine. Kiba and Naruto gulped as they looked at the drinks and Lee visibly paled.
"Lee, I think you should sit out this one with me," Neji said. "I don't think my uncle would like it if he found out tomorrow morning that the living room was completely destroyed." Lee glumly nodded.
"Alright!" Tenten cheered, placing the trays in the center of the circle they were sitting in. "What you do primarily in this game is drink, obviously. To start it off, I will throw a die in the air and whatever number comes up when it lands will the number of people skipped, in a counterclockwise direction. The person that falls short of the skip will have to drink the number of shots the die gave. If the number is an even number, that person will have to tell a secret. If it's odd, the person just drinks. After drinking and telling a secret, that person will throw the die and the skips will start from him or her. Everyone got it?"
They nodded. Tenten smiled. "Then let the game begin."
Two. Hinata took a deep breath as she reached for a shot of vodka. The others cheered as she downed it one gulp and again when she finished the second one. "I…I…started wearing bras when I was eight," she mumbled. The boys wolf-whistled as the girls patted Hinata encouragingly on the back.
Five. Shikamaru yawned as he drank the shots with expertise. As the others stared at him in shock and disbelief, he raised his eyebrows, lazily muttering, "What? My dad and I used to do this all the time when I was younger."
Three. Tenten quickly drank the three shots of tequila in rapid succession, wincing slightly as it burned rushing down her throat.
Four. The shots almost seemed to disappear under Shino's voluminous collar. He cleared his throat. "I sleep with a stuffed bee."
Everyone was too disturbed at this revelation to laugh.
One. Naruto grinned as he quickly downed his shot, smacking his lips afterwards. Sasuke shot him an annoyed look.
Six. Sakura grimaced as everyone's eyes widened. "I can do this," she muttered, clutching the hem of her frilly pink dress tightly. She kept her eyes closed while drinking and after the sixth shot, she nearly slumped with relief against Hinata. "……Alright, fine," she sighed reluctantly. "When I was little, my favorite color wasn't pink. It was orange."
Naruto choked on air. Sakura tried her best to ignore him, but failed spectacularly as she punched him painfully in the head.
Two. Kiba let out a whoop as he gulped down his two shots. "I like to watch my dogs mate!" he announced loudly.
There was silence. Then the group disintegrated.
"I am not playing this game anymore!" Ino announced. "If this keeps on going, some really…classified information will get leaked out!"
"You're right," Tenten smiled sneakily. "So we'll play another game. Hmm…just off the top of my head, do you guys want to play 'Switch Costumes and Try to Guess Who's Who?'"
The others stared at her for a moment.
"Sure, why not," Sakura shrugged.
"I'm in," Ino added.
Tenten clasped her hands together and smiled toward the ceiling. "We're going to have a very fun time tonight………aren't we, my dear friends?"
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A/N - And that's the first part of Halloween! Hope you liked! Keep in mind, though, that there's another part of this crazy, wacked-out night in which
...Someone will get kissed...
...Someone will get drunk...
...Someone's heart will be broken...
...Someone will get jealous...
...and Relationships will be tested...
To Yukiko, Whipped Coffee (love that name!), sk8rsakura, ello, XXDragonheart6XX, hi, nibbles, SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, Pink Crescent Moon, Alusy, Hikaru no Yuki-chan, Kenji Hino, tenshii-chan, tennisxdork, shohei, joey, itachi's evil minion, Lt. RaIQ of the Boondock Mafia, and JaLye: I love you all! Thanks so much for your reviews!
Thanks for reading!
- Lily in a Pond