If It Isn't Love, It's Friendship - Halloween Part 2
By Lily in a Pond
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
Summary: The second half of the night gets underway as Tenten suggest they switch costumes. Hilarity and drama ensues as mishaps, stolen kisses, and even a wardrobe malfunction occur.
At the beginning of the chapter, you have no idea who the characters are. But along the way, I'll reveal clues so you can figure out who's who. Little by little, I'll reveal who the characters are. However, at the end of the night, you should've figured out who's who, so I'll start calling the characters by their names.
Keep in mind that everybody traded costumes, so someone can't wear the same costume. For reference, here's the chart of the original costumes so you don't have to flick back to the previous chapter.
Naruto - car repairman
Sasuke - vampire
Sakura - princess
Shikamaru - Genin pretending to be a Chunin
Ino - slut/prostitute/biker chick
Chouji - stuffed chicken
Kiba - cat
Shino - Secret Service agent
Hinata - angel
Lee - stalk of celery
Tenten - suit of armor
Neji (I realized that I didn't include his costume in the last chapter so I made up a really lame one for him) - Hyuuga Hizashi
Now, onto the story!
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The angel stepped out of one of the Hyuuga's many pristine white-tiled bathrooms and fluffed her voluminous hair. It looked a little poofy in some places, but she didn't care. Besides, the angel costume looked pretty good with her coloring.
Pausing to admire her reflection in a shiny, polished mirror in the hallway, she smiled flirtatiously at herself in the mirror. She giggled quietly. This costume actually suited her better than the previous one.
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The princess stumbled into the living room, where a cloaked man and a car repairman sat waiting patiently for the others. She sat down heavily with a huff, picking at the pink ruffles on her dress. She hated this dress. It was so poofy and itchy! How did Sakura even move in it, anyway? Every single motion she made, a loud rustling accompanied it.
Sighing as she looked at the two silent men next to her, she reached for a cocktail stirrer and started twirling it idly.
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The person masquerading as a Secret Service agent strided impatiently into the living room, flipping his hair out of his eyes, which glowed in the dim darkness of the room as he realized that only three people, excluding him, were there, and that he would have to wait quite some time before the others arrived. He sighed and made himself comfortable on one of the couches, distancing himself away from the other three.
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The cat bounded enthusiastically into the living room, calling out a cheerful greeting to everyone there. The others in the room looked up at him, and resumed whatever they were doing before as if he had never even appeared. Frowning, he took a seat next to the Secret Service agent. The Secret Service agent turned away from him.
The cat shrugged. He was used to brush-offs from him. His eyes lit upon the candy stocked in an intricately designed glass bowl. After looking around furtively, he proceeded to shove handfuls of it into his mouth.
"Mmm…candy corn…"
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The suit of armor clanked noisily into the living room, where she saw a stalk of celery, a car repairman, a Secret Service agent, a vampire, an angel, and a princess sitting there. She frowned at the angel, and instead sat down next to the Secret Service agent. When he didn't turn away from her, she shot the angel a triumphant look. The angel rolled her eyes and looked away.
As she mentally exulted in her victory, she couldn't help but feel a little hot in the costume. It was just a little stuffy being covered with strategically placed knives, cloth, and shurikens, not to mention dangerous.
A few wisps of her bright hair were beginning to spill out of the metal mask. She impatiently blew the strands away from her face.
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The Genin pretending to be a Chunin pranced into the living room and attempted to sit next to the chicken. The chicken glared at him with such an intensity that the Genin, horrified, backed away and instead took a seat next to the suit of armor.
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The biker chick tiptoed nervously into the living room. As soon as she entered, she could feel all eyes on her. It was only expected, after all, in this costume. The costume showed nearly all of her and covered nearly none of her.
As she nervously took a seat next to the cat, she could feel her costume slowly slipping down. Quickly, she pulled it up, once again attracting the attention of all the men in the room. She blushed. This was going to be a long night…
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The person dressed as Hyuuga Hizashi was the last to arrive. When the angel asked (more like screamed) where he was, he shrugged and replied,
"The bathrooms here are so comfortable."
With his arrival, the rest of the night got underway.
At the food table, the stalk of celery and the vampire were chatting animatedly, the vampire gesturing wildly with (funnily) a stalk of celery.
Also at the food table, the cat was telling the biker chick and car repairman about his favorite food, but the car repairman didn't seem to be responding…or listening, for that matter.
The Secret Service agent and Hyuuga Hizashi were engrossed in a game of chess, with the latter clearly trouncing the Secret Service agent. The suit of armor and angel were watching with little interest for the game, focusing their attention instead on the men.
The princess and the chicken were talking in low whispers in a dark corner as the Genin tried to hear what they were saying.
All was peaceful until the angel suggested they put the Hyuuga's entertainment center to good use.
Then there was trouble.
During Mario Party 2, the Service Secret agent threw a minor temper tantrum after losing while the suit of armor tried desperately to restrain him from murdering the cat.
After discovering Dance Dance Revolution, the Genin pretending to be a Chunin proceeded to spectacularly kick everyone's asses with his ultra-super-youthful dance moves, speed, and coordination.
During Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hyuuga Hizashi nearly died when the angel screamed and clung onto his neck in an attempt to ward off the evilsnakes on the screen.
As the twelve ninja contently watched the ending credits of Indiana Jones, Naruto had a great idea.
"Hey! Since Dance Dance Revolution was so fun, why don't we have a singing and dancing contest?"
The girls cheered. The boys groaned. The girls exchanged looks. The boys looked suddenly worried. The girls grinned. A moment and some ruthless tugging of the hair later -
"FINE! We'll play," the boys grumbled in unison. The girls cheered again.
Sakura, with her stellar moves, proceeded to crash and stumble around the stage while singing the song she was dancing to ("Upside Down") loudly. After this performance, Hyuuga Hiashi, meditating two floors up, requested a hearing aid.
After Sakura (who everyone applauded politely) Chouji followed with his rendition of "Candyman," which, surprisingly, was rather good.
Shino twitched when Hinata said he should participate, but Kiba jumped at the opportunity.
"I'LL DO IT!" he yelled and started shaking his thang everywhere. Tenten covered her eyes at the atrocious display of atrocity.
"Okay, that's it; I'm going," she interrupted. Knowing all her dance moves consisted of ballet-like steps, leaps, and spins, she choose a slow song, wowing everyone with her smooth, slightly cooing voice.
The girls sighed in pleasure as the last bars of Tenten's song played.
"Amazing…" Sakura whispered. The others clapped enthusiastically as Tenten took a bow.
Neji was next. He found it hard to follow Tenten's performance, but he managed to pull off a dazzling display of advanced chakra control, performing hip-hip and breakdancing moves seemingly without breaking a sweat. He and Akon were applauded as well.
The real highlight of the contest was Hinata. Choosing a song by the Pussycat Dolls ("Buttons"), Hinata was quickly horrified as she realized what the song was about. She turned paler when she realized she was going to have to dance to the song.
Ino, Tenten, and Sakura snickered in unison and pushed Hinata towards the center of the room. Hinata gulped and started awkwardly dancing and singing along to the song.
The boys were staring at her goggle-eyed as Hinata swayed seductively to the music. Then, just as she was feeling really into the song, Hinata attempted a twirl, and midspin, she threw her arms up.
Well……that wasn't the smartest move…
As the eleven ninja watched with horror and……pervertness, Hinata's top slowly slipped down, down, down to her waist in a perfect rendition of a pornographic video, and she fell down on the floor, landing her little spin in a very awkward position and somewhat…suggestive pose.
The boys gawked. The girls stared. The boys were enraptured. The girls were horrified. Then -
"OH MY GOD!"
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Sakura, Tenten, and Ino quickly ushered Hinata into the brightly lit bathroom.
"Oh, my god, oh, my god," Hinata repeated over and over, her breath coming in short pants. "Oh, my god!" she shrieked. "Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod - "
Ino slapped her with a towel. "Shut up, Hinata! You're - you're - annoying!" Hinata fell back, looking utterly shocked. "It's not that big of a deal, anyway; I've done it tons of times."
The three girls looked at her in shock. "Voluntarily?" Sakura screeched.
Tenten squeezed her eyes shut tightly, and opened them a moment later. "Back to the real problem. What are we going to do?"
"We're going to walk out of here looking perfectly fine, pretending that nothing extraordinary has even happened," Sakura said matter-of-factly. "What, do you think we're going to make Hinata flee in anguish?"
"Actually, I c-can't flee b-because this is m-my house," Hinata said in a small voice. "And it's all right…I'll just go out and pretend n-nothing happened."
"The boys aren't going to forget this," Tenten reminded them. "Are you sure you can hold the façade up for the entire night?"
"…I'll try," Hinata said resolutely.
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"Well, we're certainly never dancing again," Sakura said as she took a seat next to Sasuke. "See, didn't I tell you a Halloween party was bad, Sasuke-kun?"
Sasuke glared at her. Sakura looked confused.
"What? Oh, my - don't tell me you want to see it again!" Sakura shrieked, attracting the attention of everyone in the room. Sasuke's checks turned pink, and Sakura gasped dramatically. "You do! You are such a pervert!" As Sakura huffed and puffed away, Sasuke fumed silently.
Across the room, Neji and Tenten were having a shouting match that, mysteriously, no one else could hear.
"This is all your fault!"
"It's yours, too! I'm not receiving all the blame!"
"Me neither - Neji, I can't believe your stupidity is going to make this night a disaster!"
"The night is already a disaster!"
"Yes - and it's all your fault!"
"Argh, how is this my fault? I didn't know it was going to happen!"
"You have the Byakugan! Don't tell me you didn't check the appropriateness of the costumes!"
"Why would I want to stare at Hinata with my Byakugan on? And it's your fault, you women are supposed to know about the mechanics of an outfit like that! You could've prevented it by putting some duct tape on it!"
"Oh - you - mpmh!"
All heads turned as a thump resounded in the room. (How strange that two angry, shouting voices cannot be heard but a thump can detected fairly well…)
Tenten's head popped up from the couch. She glared at them. "You - keep quiet. We're one year older, we get hormonal benefits."
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"Ino!" Hinata whispered. Ino turned around, her eyebrows raised questioningly. "Ino….I need your h-help…about kissing." Ino's eyes lit up excitedly and she immediately kicked Shikamaru and Kiba off the couch and to the other side of the room, making room for her and Hinata.
"You've come to the right person, Hinata. So, first of all, who do you want to kiss?"
"Er………….Naruto-kun…." Hinata mumbled. Seeing Ino's expressionless expression, she was confused. "Um…not to be rude or anything, but why did you not have any reaction to this?"
Ino sighed. "Hinata, sweetie, everyone in our age group and everyone from the year above and below knows that you've had feelings for Naruto since we were twelve."
Hinata looked shocked.
Ino blinked. "I guess some people are pretty ignorant. Anyway…about Naruto…" Hinata eagerly scooted towards Ino. "Well, first of all, let me remind Naruto never had a girlfriend and the only crush he had was on Sakura. She's forehead girl. You're definitely top-notch compared to her. And second, Naruto is a complete idiot," she said, ignoring Hinata's wounded expression. "The easiest and least humiliating way is to - " she paused for dramatic effect and Hinata leaned in closer. " - is to simply go up to him, proclaim your undying love, and kiss the hell out of that idiot." Ino was still giggling to herself when she noticed Hinata sprawled out on the ground, in a dead faint, her costume hanging loosely on her. Ino sighed. "And there she goes again."
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Tenten looked at the small girl with surprise. "You want me to sneak you out?"
Hyuuga Hanabi nodded. "It's really troublesome, but I want to go to Konohamaru's party tonight, and my father has officially grounded me for a week. Since you're a master of stealth - well - " she wrinkled her nose. " - maybe not in that dress…but you are one. You can help me sneak out."
"Well, why don't you just ask Neji?"
"He's been such a little goody-goody ever since father made him the heir, so he would definitely turn me in within two seconds of my asking," Hanabi said glumly. "And Hinata won't either, since she's been a goody-goody since birth."
Tenten nodded, understanding. "Alright. I'll do it. But - " she held up a finger, and Hanabi sighed, muttering something extremely inappropriate for an eleven-year-old to say under her breath. " - you have to promise me something." Hanabi sighed and nodded.
"Hanabi…keep your knees together."
Hanabi turned a bright red as she started sputtering. "I - I'm only eleven!"
"I know," Tenten said comfortingly, "but you're going to Naruto Jr.'s party. Konohamaru has inherited his grandfather's pervertedness and Naruto and his teacher's pervertedness as well. So just keep both feet on the ground and your knees together in case he tries to pull a fast one on you."
"Oh, he won't be fast if I had my way," Hanabi muttered. Tenten glared.
"This was what I was preaching about!"
"Yeah, yeah, let's just go already."
"Alright, but remember my advice. It could save your life," Tenten said seriously.
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"Okay…kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…" Hinata chanted over and over, while walking slowly towards the cat and the Secret Service agent. "Kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…" she repeated, getting closer and closer to the two. "Kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…kiss Naruto…kiss SASUKE?!?!?!"
Hinata was thrown violently back by a furious-looking Sasuke, who was looking utterly shocked as he wiped his mouth continuously. "Hinata! What - why - what the - who - what - ARGH!"
As Sasuke stormed off into the next room, Sakura stomped (she does quite a lot of stomping, doesn't she?) over to Hinata and growled menacingly, cracking her knuckles. "This is not over."
"WHAT THE HELL?" screamed the cat. "Why'd you kiss the - the - the - oh, I can't even say his name anymore!" He skulked off, wallowing in self-pity.
"Yeah…there's definitely something wrong with you tonight, Hinata," said the stalk of celery.
"You've been acting very peculiar," the vampire chimed in. "Perhaps you should see a doctor?"
"THE ALCOHOL!" the Genin pretending to be a Chunin suddenly exclaimed. "Remember Hinata drank six glasses of vodka? The alcohol must've been infiltrating her mind!"
"Yes, that's it!" the celery exclaimed happily. "Hinata, we need to make you some coffee!" He and the Genin grabbed Hinata on each of her arms and marched her away to the kitchen.
At the other end of the room, Ino fumed to Shikamaru.
"She kissed Sasuke?!" she rambled, oblivious to the blank look Shikamaru had been sporting for the past five minutes. "Even though most of the boys are wearing masks, Sasuke has black hair! Naruto has blonde hair! Sasuke has black eyes! Naruto has blue eyes! How is Hinata that stupid?! Argh - I can't believe it! God, Hinata?! I thought Sasuke was going to kiss Sakura first! And then Hinata came barging in and stole that kiss, not to mention broke poor Naruto's heart! The nerve of that - that - that - urgh - that worm!" she shrieked.
"Ino, shut up," Shikamaru snapped. "This is Hinata's problem. You don't need to meddle any more."
Ino huffed and puffed, but nothing came out. Finally, she stalked angrily away.
Shikamaru sighed "Troublesome," and beckoned Naruto out from his corner.
"Bad night, eh?"
Naruto gave him a look of pure incredulity. "YES," he finally growled out. "HINATA JUST KISSED SASUKE. DID YOU NOT SEE THAT!?"
"I think she was trying to kiss you," Shikamaru said nonchalantly, leaning back on the couch. "And since you and Sasuke were next to each other, she thought you were Sasuke and Sasuke was you."
"Maybe…BUT SHE STILL KISSED SASUKE!" he whined. "Why does Sasuke always have to come in and rain on my parade! He became a Chunin before me! He got a girlfriend before me! He started drinking before me! He even kissed Sakura-chan before me! And now, he kissed Hinata before me!"
Shikamaru was silent. "…Well, there's nothing I can do," he said abruptly, and stood up. Naruto glowered.
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It was half past ten and all the lights were out at the Hyuuga compound. By a stroke of pure lunacy, a catastrophic storm had rolled into Konoha at the last minute and Tsunade had sent out an announcement warning everyone to stay in their houses. Being the obligatory host, Neji had not-so-graciously offered everyone a sleeping bag. (Though the Hyuugas boasted a mansion of over twenty bedrooms, Neji already knew what his uncle's answer to that question would be, so he didn't bother asking.)
A soft crushing noise was heard as Kiba rolled over in his sleep. Sakura giggled as she turned to Ino, whose sleeping bag wad placed on her right. "I really hope that's not Akamaru," she whispered before dissolving into a fit of giggles, Ino joining after a moment.
A sigh was heard from Ino's other side. "Why do troublesome women always make it troublesome for me to get some sleep?"
Ino painfully elbowed Shikamaru in the ribs. "Shh! Some people are trying to sleep here!"
Sakura giggled. "Yeah, Shikamaru! Quit being so troublesome and disturbing our beauty sleep!"
"All of you, be quiet!" Tenten yelled from the other side of the room. "Geez, Neji, Lee, and I have a mission tomorrow morning and you guys are being so loud! Do you actually want us to die trying to assassinate a squirrel?"
"Tenten, if you ignore them, they'll be quiet," came Neji's soft voice from the same area. "Let's all go to sleep now…"
After a few minutes of silence, Hinata shuffled around in her sleeping bag. She turned to the body next to her. "N-Naruto-kun?" she whispered. "Are y-you awake?"
Naruto grunted in reply and rolled over so that his back was facing Hinata.
"I'm s-sorry if I upset you," HInata whispered. "I didn't mean it - "
"It's not your fault," came Naruto's uncharacteristically stoic reply.
"…Naruto-kun? Are - a-are - are you - y-you - " Hinata took a deep breath. "Are you jealous?" she said boldly.
Naruto sat up immediately. "Jealous? Me, jealous? Ha! I mean, it's me, Naruto, jealous? I think not…"
"Oh…a-alright…" Hinata said, the brief burst of confidence slipped away. "G-goodnight then."
"Goodnight, Hinata-chan."
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That morning at breakfast (Neji had grudgingly acquiesced to Kiba and provided an assortment of food for them when they woke up), the noisy chatter at the table immediately dipped as Neji, wearing traditional Hyuuga robes and a scowl, walked in and stood at the head of the table.
"Is it really possible," Neji stated quietly, "that you ate, slept, and played at my house, and nobody informed Hiashi-sama about it!" he roared.
They were silent.
"…Want to train?" Tenten asked tentatively.
Neji looked at her with his piercing white eyes. "Yeah, sure," he shrugged. And then they walked out like nothing had ever occurred.
"Well…" Sakura began. "…That was weird."
"Hey, Hinata, can I talk to you for a minute?" Naruto asked as they resumed their eating. Hinata looked surprised, but nodded. She followed Naruto out of the room.
"Er……I know that I was a little on edge last night and it seemed like I was really angry…which I was," Naruto added as an afterthought. "I may have overreacted a little bit." Hinata inwardly rolled her eyes at that. "But what I want you to know is that I was only acting like a stupid jerk because I was upset about you kissing Sasuke. And I know it wasn't intentional or anything, but it just really ticked me off. I mean, I was supposed to kiss you first…not him," he said quietly, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind Hinata's ear. "I…….I….I was supposed to kiss you first," he repeated. As Hinata stared, transfixed, into his blue eyes, he leaned closer and closer to her. Their lips were only an inch away when Sasuke loudly slammed the dininng room door behind him.
Naruto immediately pulled back. If looks could kill, Sasuke would've been deep-fried a thousand times and cut into little bits and pieces with scythes.
"SA-SU-KE." Naruto ground out between clenched teeth. He took a calming breath. Then he exploded. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU RUINED MY FIRST KISS WITH HINATA - AGAIN! IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR MIND? YOU DON'T INTERRUPT PEOPLE'S FIRST KISSES!"
Sasuke leaned back comfortably against the doorframe and smirked. "Hiashi-sama would like have a little talk with you about his daughter's well-being."
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A/N - Happy Halloween three months early! Next chapter: Christmas in Konoha!!
Thanks to my reviewers, XXDragonheart6XX, Pink Crescent Moon, Sony89, SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, Nightshadow Dweller, nibbles, and sasusakufan2357!
- Lily in a Pond