Disclaimer: I do not own Tennis no Oujisama

Fishy Tennis

"Man, the aikido club only has five members," Kenji complained to Tezuka a few days later. "And only one of then is any good," he added, dropping his bag next to his desk. Rummaging through it, he pulled out a calorie mate bar, unwrapped it, sat down on his chair, leaned it back onto two legs, and followed this lengthy process by biting a large chunk out of the bar.

"Aa," Tezuka grunted, not even looking up from the biology sheets he was perusing. Kenji really didn't need his participation in the conversation – he could keep it going well enough under his own steam.

"I mean seriously," Kenji continued, proving Tezuka's theory right. "There's this one guy who falls over whenever he so much as thinks about throwing someone!"

He grinned. "Kinda pathetic, huh?"

"Aa," came the, by now, standard response.

"So, what about your club?" Kenji asked Tezuka. "Is it any good?"

Tezuka was saved from straining his vocabulary by the sound of a new voice. "Why don't you come and see for yourself?" it asked. Kenji looked up at a gently smiling face and nearly dropped his calorie mate bar.

"Fuji. Did you want something?" Tezuka asked. Fuji turned closed eyes on the stoic buchou. "Why, I merely felt incomplete without the sight of your handsome face," he informed Tezuka with a quiet chuckle.

Kenji practically fell out of his seat. "Tezuka!" he yelled dramatically "How can you not be seeing anyone when faced with such utter loveliness?! That's just unbelievably stupid!"

Fuji turned closed eyes in Kenji's direction. "Why, thank you," he said serenely. "It is not every day one is called lovely."

Tezuka massaged his temples wearily. "Fuji is male," he informed Kenji tersely. "Fuji. Why did you really come here?"

Fuji handed Tezuka a textbook, which he automatically accepted. "Your history notes," he explained as the bell for homeroom rang. "Thank you. They were very helpful," he added, before wandering out of the classroom.

"Yo Tezuka, Fuji!" Kenji greeted the two cheerfully, "You got some big club here. Mind sharing a few with me?" he joked, passing a large group of boys doing warm-up stretches on the courts.

"Ah, Ishizuka. So you decided to come after all," said Fuji with a smile.

Kenji grinned back. "I just couldn't wait to see your pretty face again," he explained cheerfully.

Fuji's permanent smile became a little wider. He was obviously amused by this response. "So many compliments," he demurred happily "I'm afraid I shall become conceited."

Kenji laughed, as Tezuka stoically resisted a strong urge to roll his eyes.

A cheerful red-haired boy with a band-aid on his face bounced over, draping himself over Fuji's shoulders. "Hoi hoi! Fujiko, who's this, nya?" he mewed loudly, immediately identifying himself to Fuji as 'mini-tramp boy'.

"Ishizuka Kenji, from Tezuka's class," Fuji replied. "Ishizuka, this is Kikumaru Eiji. He's from class 3-6," he informed Kenji.

"Please to meet you, nya!" Eiji gave a boisterous 'peace' sign, still hanging off Fuji's shoulders. "What's your favourite animal?" he asked. "I read a book," he informed Fuji as a side note. "It said your can tell a lot about a person by their favourite animal, nya."

Kenji laughed. "I like fish. I wish I could keep carp – they're my favourite – but my family lives in a mansion, so my parents would only let me get goldfish."

"Tezuka keeps carp," Fuji informed him. "I'm sure he'd be happy to show you sometime."

Tezuka glared at Fuji for issuing such an invitation without consulting him first.

"Wow, that'd be great!" Kenji replied. "I look forward to it!" he grinned. "By the way, what did that book say about fish lovers?"

"I forget, nya," Eiji confessed, pouting.

"Oh, that's too bad. Now I'm curious."

"I can tell you what it said about cat lovers, nya!" Eiji offered, cheering up at this sign of interest.

"Probably word for word," Fuji murmured through his ever-present smile.

"Yep, nya!" Eiji agreed cheerfully. Kenji laughed. "Maybe some other time," he suggested.

"Ok, nya!" Eiji agreed happily, before bouncing away to nag somebody into a doubles game.

"He's very bouncy, isn't he?" Kenji commented as he watched him go. "It's cute."

"Yes it is, isn't it," Fuji agreed. "His specialty is acrobatic tennis."

Kenji looked startled. "You mean he hits all the shots from a trapeze or something?" he asked.

Fuji chuckled. "No, but close. Watch."

Fuji having found his victims, the match began.

"That's just not normal," Kenji announced as Eiji leapt around the courts, performing all sorts of strange contortions. "Nobody should be able to bend like that."

Fuji chuckled. "He tied himself into a knot once."

Kenji's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?! How?!"

"We're not sure," Fuji replied calmly. "He got stuck though. Oishi and Taka had to untie him."

"Are you serious?!" Kenji repeated himself in his shock. "And who's Taka?" he added.

"Kawamura Takashi, third year."

Fuji pointed to another court. "He's over there."

Kenji's eyes followed the direction Fuji's finger indicated. "Tennis players," he muttered, shaking his head. "They're all crazy."

Fuji chuckled. "I thought you said I was lovely," he commented.

"You probably just hide your crazy better," Kenji replied, eyeing the other boy warily. "Come to think of it, why do you always smile like that?" he asked curiously.

"Would you prefer I stopped?" Fuji made no effort to change his expression in the slightest.

"Nah," Kenji replied. "Keep your smile. It suits you."

He glanced over to where Tezuka was talking with Ryuzaki-sensei. "Speaking of smiles, has Tezuka ever been seen smiling?" he asked.

"Not to my knowledge," Fuji replied.

Kenji looked thoughtful. "D'ya reckon the world would end if he did smile?" he enquired.

"Probably not," Fuji smiled, amused by the suggestion.

"Maybe just a mild apocalypse then?" Kenji suggested.

Fuji chuckled. "I don't believe so, but you're welcome to test your theory if you can."

Kenji grinned. "What do you think would be most likely to make him smile?" he asked. "Maybe if I learned the hula and danced around in front of him all decked out in a hula skirt and my sister's pink bra?"

Fuji chuckled. "I would like to see that," he informed Kenji amusedly. "But I doubt Tezuka would appreciate it."

Kenji looked disappointed. "Damn, that was the best I could come up with."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Fuji reassured him. "Good luck."

With that, he wandered off to begin practice.

Tezuka nodded goodbye to Fuji, the last of the team to leave, as he locked the clubroom door. Checking that it was secure, he turned around to make his own way home, stopping short as he almost ran into Kenji.

"Fuji said that you'd show me your carp," Kenji reminded him.

Tezuka's expression didn't change. "No," he said flatly.

Kenji looked disappointed. "But I already called my parents to tell them I'd be late and everything."

"That is not my concern," Tezuka replied unfeelingly. He brushed past Kenji and made to leave, stopping short once more as he came up against Ryuzaki-sensei.

"Tezuka, what are you still doing here?" she admonished him, placing her hands solidly on her hips. "You're too responsible for a boy your age. Fuji told me you wanted to show this Kenji fellow your carp. There was no need to stay back so late. I can lock up perfectly well by myself!" she informed him

Tezuka felt his headache threatening to return. While he had no idea what Fuji was trying to do here, he knew from past experience that it would be futile to resist. Fuji was the master of instigation. Tezuka was no match for him once he got started.

Ryuzaki-sensei took the keys from his unresisting hands. "Go home," she ordered him. "And don't forget your friend," she added, as Tezuka obeyed her instructions and strode off. Kenji quickly followed, grinning. "Hey Tezuka! You just got told by an old lady!" he teased.

Ryuzaki-sensei did her best to ignore the 'old' comment.

Yes, Eiji's knot was inspired by Darth Claire's 'Killer Tennis', in which Eiji somehow manages to twist himself into a pretzel. Also, regarding the "Fuji said you'd show me your carp" comment. My warped, twisted-beyond-belief mind just discovered a new word for penis. Just thought you'd like to know..