Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. "Hey, man with the messy hair, why does your lady-friend hate you now?" Edward slowly turned his head from eye-stalking Bella and looked down at another little kid. She was short (of course she was short, she was five!), pudgy, and had wild blond hair. He chose to ignore her. Just because Bella had exiled him to the dugout didn't mean he had to socialize.

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Over and over again she poked him in the leg. Of course, it didn't hurt him. But it was insanely annoying. "Hey, I was talking to you. Didn't your mommy teach you to be nice?" Maybe if he just kept ignoring her, she would go play in the dirt. Isn't that what little kids did?

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. When will it end? Finally, his resolve cracked. "STOP POKING ME!" Everyone knows Edward has some severe anger issues. Can you say therapy? The little girl stopped poking him, and Edward leaned back, eager to get back to eyeing Bella. But then the worst possible thing happened. The little girl plopped on the ground and began to scream. It was an ear-drum bursting scream. Edward saw Bella's head snap up, and he knew he was in for it. Again.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! What did you do now?" She was livid.

"Bella, she was poking me. Over and over, like this." And he reached out to poke her.

Poke. "How." Poke. "Does." Poke. "That." Poke. "Feel?" Poke. He stopped poking her, satisfied that she got the point.

"Well, did you think to ask her what she wanted before you screamed at her?" She asked, rubbing the spot where he had poked her. He shook his head.

"I knew there was something I forgot to do!" He said sheepishly.

"Don't even think about trying to dazzle yourself out of this one either. How many kids have you made cry today? First Aiden, and now her? Great child skills, Edward. You better be glad you can't have kids, because you would be one bad father!" She put her hand over her mouth, knowing she had gone too far. "Honey, why don't you go out there and go help Coach Alice?" She said, leaning down to talk to the little girl.

The little girl, who had until a moment ago, still been screaming, stuck her tongue out at Edward and waddled her way out of the dugout. Then Bella turned to face Edward. He looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean that, I was just frustrated with you. How could you make her cry like that? She's only five after all." Her voice was soft.

"She wouldn't stop poking me. I know I'm not doing that well, but I've never had to deal with little kids before. I really am trying." He looked so pathetic just sitting there, that all Bella's anger melted away. And he hadn't even had to smolder his eyes at her.

"Oh, Edward." He looked up at her then, and motioned for her to come over and join him.

"Can I have one more chance Bella? Please." He nuzzled his nose against hers.

"Well, we do need someone to help Aiden on second."

Edward slowly walked out onto the field. He stood face to face with Aiden. (Cue dramatic Western stand-off music.)

"So we meet again, little man." Aiden responded by wiping his nose on his shirt. Edward took another step forward, and got down on his knees. "I'm sorry that I tried to bribe you with candy. And I'm sorry that I yelled at you for peeing on me. Though, you have to admit, that was pretty rude." He spread out his arms. "Can Uncle Edward have a hug?" Aiden, being one, didn't understand a word he said. But babies love hugs, so he stumbled into his arms. Edward hugged him, and thought that maybe kids weren't that hard to understand after all.

"Hey, Edward. Jessica's back early, so we can get out of here!" Bella called to him from up by the Volvo.

"Thank God." Edward said, handing Aiden off to the first person he saw. Then he shot up to the Volvo, and was in the car, and speeding off down the street before Jessica could even say thanks.

"Well, that was certainly interesting." Bella said from the passenger seat.

"Bella, promise me something."

"Alright."

"Never volunteer me for anything that involves kids ever again."