Not—Part 12

Darry's POV

I sighed. This was it. My two brothers were on the couch facing me, just waiting for me to open my mouth and start yelling at them. I'd had to hold back a grin, to be honest, as I looked at them. Soda looked as if he was bracing himself for a huge storm or something, he was so tensed up. Ponyboy just stared at the floor, not meeting my eyes.

Then Soda looked at me and mouthed, "Go easy on him." And it was after that that I sighed, because I wasn't going to yell at anybody. It was what they expected, but not what they would get. Because the truth was, it wasn't that I was really angry with them. Well, I was mad that they ran away, but I was more dreading having to explain the lies and secrets. The fragile trust between the three of us since our friends died had been shattered when Ponyboy read those papers, then left them for Soda to find. They would both have questions, and I was on my own answering them. More than ever I wished my parents could be back here, just for a day, to help me help them understand. But they weren't. So I had to do this all by myself.

"First of all," I began. Starting with the easy stuff would be best, I figured. "What on earth were you thinking, running away like that?" I tried to keep my voice stern but calm. To be as detached as possible working through this would be best, I'd decided.

"I wasn't thinking," Ponyboy answered almost immediately. "I couldn't think about anything but getting away from my brothers who lied to me."

I winced, and Sodapop cringed. "I mean brother," Ponyboy corrected. "Just one. Soda didn't know anything either." Well. He sure knew how to kick a guy when he was down.

"And second…" I trailed off. Second was supposed to be where were they planning on going, or a punishment for running off like that, or something else along those lines. But that wasn't what I wanted to say to them. I took a deep breath, and took the plunge.

"Second is, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's right. We should never have kept it a secret from you, Ponyboy. Or you, Soda. I'm sorry to both of you for being kept in the dark like that. And I wish I would've asked Mom and Dad to tell you a long time ago," I said honestly.

"Sure," Ponyboy muttered. He still looked sceptical. I couldn't blame him.

"Why did you never tell us?" Soda asked quietly, for once sitting unusually still.

I replied, "Dad and Mom didn't want me to. It was their decision. The only reason I was told is because eventually I would've started asking questions. I was old enough to remember when Ponyboy was born, so I would've figured it out."

"They didn't trust me?" Soda sounded hurt for some reason.

"Sodapop, you weren't even three years old yet. How could you be expected to keep a secret like that? And besides, they wanted both of you to grow up just like normal brothers, sharing a room and not having the barrier of adoption coming between you."

"They thought that if I knew Pony was adopted I wouldn't treat him like a normal brother?" Soda demanded indignantly. This was exactly what I hadn't expected from him.

I sighed again. "That's an unanswerable question, Soda. How am I supposed to know what might've happened? Everything might've been different if we'd all known the whole time. Maybe you wouldn't be as close as you are, maybe you would be. I can't tell you about the road not taken. But we have to assume Mom and Dad did what they did for the best. I think they just wanted to make life easier for you, Ponyboy."

Ponyboy spoke up now. "Yeah? Well, they did a really bad job of it. How does finding out you're not who you thought you were make life easier for you? Answer that, Darry, and maybe I'll listen to what you have to say." Then he got up and went into his room. And the only sound was the door slamming. Then chilling, cold silence.

Well, I thought, it could've been worse. But I didn't really believe it.

Ponyboy's POV

I know I should've gone back out there and heard him out. But right then, I didn't feel like listening to anything coming out of Darry's mouth. I'd already decided to forgive Darry, even if he didn't know it. But for now, I was still pretty mad over everything.

A soft knock on the door startled me. "Ponyboy? It's me." Sodapop. The only person I could stand to talk to at a time like this. He came in without waiting for my consent and flopped down onto the bed beside me, staring up at the ceiling.

"He's just trying to do the right thing, Pony," he told me, glancing my way.

"Sure." My word of the night, it seemed, when I didn't feel like talking much.

Soda gave me a sad smile. "Nothing's gonna be the way it was for a while, is it?" he asked. "You and Darry are gonna fight some more, aren't you?"

"No," I said shortly. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to be yelled at, or yell at anybody. Besides, I'd promised Sodapop that there would be no more arguments. Things had changed since then, but none of this was his fault, I kept having to remind myself.

"Darry's calling Two-Bit to let him know he can stop looking for us. Him and Steve left the poor guy running all over town while they went to pick us up," there was a hint of laughter in Sodapop's voice. He was trying so hard to get things back to normal.

"Soda, do you think it's okay for me to be mad at Mom and Dad, even when they're dead and everything?" I wasn't sure where that had come from, but it had been bugging me for awhile. Was I supposed to let it go because they weren't here to defend themselves?

Soda thought about this. "Yeah, I think you're allowed to be mad at them. If I found out I was adopted too, I'd be madder than anything for a while. Hey, you didn't see any more papers in there, did you?" he tried to joke, but it was weak.

"Nope. I'm the only one adopted, at least until we find more papers in a trunk somewhere or something. You know what I don't get, Soda?" I said. Something else had been bothering me.

"What? Why we look so much alike and now it turns out we're not even blood brothers?"
So close it scared me. "How'd you know that was what I was gonna say?"

"'Cause I was wondering the same thing and I knew you would bring it up sometime tonight," Soda explained. "I guess it's just a thing of chance. I mean, we have different coloured eyes and everything, and my hair goes blonde in the summer, and yours doesn't. Also, I've always been tougher than you are."

"Have not." Very sneaky, slipping that remark in there. "I'm younger, is all."

"Sure, it is," Soda teased me. This was the closest to ordinary this night had been so far.

I had a feeling it was the closest to ordinary I would have in a while.

I know it's short, but hey! Two updates in a single day, much better, right? Well, we've had about half of the actual confrontation. Maybe the reason I put it off so much is I'm so afraid of screwing it all up and ruining the whole plot. Did it go okay so far? Oh, and Live2Read, it wasn't exactly 15 minutes, but twice in a day isn't bad, right:P