-1"Tell her already. Just tell her that you're married," I muttered angrily.
"Don't do it." The devious side of my subconscious countered.
"Are you okay in there?" Meredith pounded on the bathroom door, shaking me from my daze.
"I'm fine. Sorry. Did you need to get in there?" I came out of the bathroom and sat down on Meredith's bed.
"No. There are two other bathrooms in this house. I'm just worried about you."
"I'm okay. I just zoned out a little bit."
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Meredith asked as she pounced on me.
"Oh, nothing. I get the feeling it's going to be a long day."
"Don't say that!"
"Sorry. You know what, I need to get on to the hospital, but I'll catch up with you for lunch. Okay?"
"Fine then," she pouted.
"I need to talk to the chief."
"Don't tell him about us!"
"I have to, Mer."
She turned her head away, refusing to look at me. I kissed the back of her head good-bye and grabbed my coat from the edge of the bed. There were a few things I needed to discuss with the chief. Meredith, Addison. Plus, I wanted to check on Adele. When I arrived at the hospital, I went straight to the chief's office and knocked.
"Yeah," came the gruff voice.
"Are you busy?"
"Shepherd, I'm always busy. What's up with you and Meredith Grey?"
"That's just what I came to talk to you about. I think I'm falling in love with her."
"I did not hear that."
"I met Meredith weeks before she was an intern. I didn't know who she was until her first day on the job. You can't help who you fall in love with."
"What about Addison? She's like a daughter to me, Derek. I should tell her what you're doing."
"We're getting a divorce," I lied.
"There isn't any way to work it out?"
"She cheated on me with my best friend, Richard, betrayed me in the worst possible way with the one person I'd trusted with everything until I met her. I can't even look at her, but Meredith is so different. She's like a breath of fresh air."
"Derek, she's your intern."
"We'll keep it separate. We'll try our best. We're good for each other. She makes me forget my pain and there's something she's hiding. I can't figure it out, but it hurts her. With time, she'll open up to me."
"You need to tell Addison. Does Meredith know about Addison?"
"Not yet. I was planning on telling her at lunch today."
"Tell her. Soon."
"I will."
I walked out of his office and straight into Meredith. She gave me a quizzical look then turned her head and kept walking. I chased after her and trapped her in the elevator.
"He's okay with it." I said, greeted by a glare. "He didn't get mad."
"Fine."
"Meredith. He had to know, but there's something you should know as well."
The elevator dinged open, and Meredith stepped out. I sighed inwardly, glad to have some extra time to think about how to tell my girlfriend about my wife. I leaned my head on the elevator wall, realizing there wouldn't be a good way to tell her about Addison. As predicted, my day was a little crazy. After a scheduled craniotomy, I also had to do two emergency surgeries. Then we received a newborn with hydrocephalus. Another procedure. When my lunch break finally arrived, I sat down next to Meredith and closed my eyes.
"What's up?" she asked with a concerned look.
"Long day."
"Is that all? You've been different all week. Tell me what's going on."
"Well, it's kind of a long story. I'm going to need you to agree to hear me out before you say anything."
"Okay. I'll listen quietly and," she was interrupted by a beep. "Oh, that's me. Hang on."
Meredith looked at the number on her pager and went to answer the call. A few minutes later, she returned with an odd look on her face. She sat down in her spot next to me, staring blankly across the cafeteria. Then, she turned and faced me. Tears were bright in her eyes. I reached out to take her hand, wondering if somehow Addison had gotten to her first.
"What's wrong, Little?" I used my pet name for her.
"I have to tell you something," she began. "And this time, you have to promise to hear me out."
"Okay."
"My mom isn't traveling. She's sick, in a nursing home."
"Oh, Meredith," I pulled her into my arms.
"That's not the worst part. She just had a stroke. They brought her here, and Chief isn't sure she's going to make it."
"Baby, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
I wanted to be there for her, hold her, and take away her pain. However, I couldn't help but curse my luck that she would get such horrible news right before I was going to tell her, my girlfriend, that I in fact had a wife in New York City. Damn.