Part II
Lulu sat on the docks waiting for her father. It had been one month since she found out about the rape and she hadn't seen her father since that night. Milo had told her that he warned her dad to stay away and strangely her dad actually listened. She tried to avoid him at all costs, but they lived in a small town and occasionally they crossed paths. Technically, she'd moved into Carly's but she spent practically every night at Milo's. She had gone to the mansion once and that was just to get clothes. She spent all her time in one of three places, campus, Carly's or Milo's. Her father had to come through here sooner or later, she just had to be patient and wait. Only there was one problem - she wasn't very good at being patient. Lulu heard someone walking along the pier and then nothing. She turned her head and looked at her father, "Hi," Lulu said.
"Gumdrop," Luke cautiously said. This was the first time that Lulu had spoken to him since she'd seen him and Baldwin on the docks. They'd run into each other a few times but she'd always walked away from him without saying a word. He wanted to talk to her, to make her understand but he also knew he couldn't push her - not about this, especially not about this.
"You haven't been around," Lulu said. So maybe her dad wasn't the most hands on father, but if he was in town - he was around. She was surprised that he hadn't tried to talk to her or something. He lived life by his own rules and didn't really care what other people wanted or needed. What he did to her mother was proof of that.
"I thought that's what you wanted," Luke said. "That's what Bench Press - "
"His name is Milo," Lulu quietly said. She didn't appreciate her dad defining Milo solely on the fact that he liked to work out. He wasn't just a gym rat, he was a person. He was a good person, a much better man than her father.
"Okay," Luke said. Lulu was finally ready to talk to him and the last thing he wanted to do was alienate her by calling her boyfriend Bench Press. "Milo said you wanted me to stay away." Under normal circumstances he wouldn't allow some spud to run interference between him and his cupcake, but these were far from normal circumstances.
"I do - I did," Lulu said. "I - I just didn't think you'd actually listen to him."
"You needed your space," Luke said. Lucky had gone through the same thing when he found out about it and eventually he'd come around, just like Lulu would. She had to. He'd already lost Laura, he couldn't lose their daughter over something that couldn't be changed.
"Space," Lulu softly said. That was one way of putting it. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to understand that her father was a rapist and that her mother married her rapist. She couldn't deal with it, so she ignored it. She threw herself into her school work and avoided her dad at all costs. The great news was that she aced all her finals, the bad news was that she could only avoid him for so long. It was a small town and unless she wanted to move out of town she'd have to face him sooner or later. She decided it was going to be sooner and it was gong to be on her terms, not his. "How could you do it?"
"Lesley Lu - "
"You raped mom!" Lulu said and started crying. "And she married you! How could she do that?" She hoped she never had to endure anything like what her mother went through, surviving rape. But there was one thing she knew, that if she were ever raped she would never be able to forgive her rapist. She'd want him dead, there was no way in hell that she'd love him, much less marry him and start a family with him. "Were you ever planning on telling me?"
"You weren't supposed to find out," Luke said. He was perfect, he didn't try to pretend that he was. But there were some things he wished his children had never known about him. He didn't need the darkest moments of his life on display for others to judge, especially his children. They wouldn't understand, they couldn't. He wasn't sure he understood it himself, but Laura had forgiven him and that was all he needed. Now he hoped Lulu would forgive him as well.
"I had a right to know," Lulu said.
"No - no, you didn't," Luke said. "What happened - what happened all those years ago, it happened between your mother and me." He didn't want to go into the details of that night. It was a night that haunted him. He'd made many mistakes over the years, there were so many things he wanted to take back - but if he could he never would've gone to the Campus Disco that night. But thankfully Lulu wasn't asking for details, she wanted an explanation. He wasn't sure he could explain it.
"It affects me," Lulu said.
"How?" Luke asked. "Does you knowing change anything?"
"Yes," Lulu answered.
"What?" Luke asked. "What's so different today from two months ago?"
"How I feel about you," Lulu quietly said. She wasn't sure she'd ever understand how something so beautiful came out of something so ugly. Now she was starting to wonder if a perfect love actually existed. The one real example she had was her parents, but if this was how they started - they weren't as perfect as she thought. Lulu started to leave and paused when her father said her name.
"Lesley Lu, you don't have to like what I did - how your mother reacted to what I did, how we chose to deal with it. I don't expect you to understand it, but you have to accept it," Luke said and walked away.
As soon as Luke walked away, Lulu started crying and sat down again. She wasn't sure how long she was crying on the docks and she jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"It's me," Milo quietly said, immediately walking around the bench so he could sit next to her. "Hey, what happened?" He was on his way to Kelly's with Max when he noticed Lulu, sitting alone and crying.
"I talked to my dad," Lulu whispered.
Milo pulled Lulu into his arms and motioned for Max to leave the two of them alone. "Tell me what I can do," Milo quietly said, pulling back slightly so he could see Lulu's face.
"Get me out of here," Lulu said.
"Okay," Milo said.
Lulu looked around their suite before sitting down on the couch, "I just want to go to sleep and forget the past month ever happened," Lulu said. She was so emotionally drained from everything. She was so glad that Milo suggested the two of them getting away for a few days. He only had a few days off of work, so they went to New York City for the weekend. Maybe they could catch a play or a concert or something, that would be fun. But she didn't really care what they did. As long as he was with her, she didn't care if they had dinner at a five-star restaurant or grabbed something from a street vendor.
"Seriously?" Milo asked, setting their bags by the door. He sat on the coffee table across from Lulu. He knew that Lulu had been devastated to find out about her parents. As much as the truth hurt, he knew it was something she needed to know.
"No," Lulu said. "I guess not. You know, the saying - ignorance is bliss?" Milo nodded. "I guess, I never understood how much that was true until now."
Milo sighed, "I hate that you're going through this," Milo said. Lulu had more than enough of her share of pain over the past year.
Lulu shrugged, "It's not your fault," Lulu said. "You don't lie to me and it's not like you've done something horrible - " Lulu's voice trailed off and she laughed softly. "Well, nothing horrible that doesn't have to do with your job."
"Right," Milo said. "I still hate it though."
"You know, there is one good thing that came out of this," Lulu said.
"What's that?" Milo asked.
"I got to see you, a lot - " Lulu smiled. Milo often worked long hours and sometimes she got busy with school. There were days that she barely got to see him or didn't get to see him at all. Now that she'd moved out of the mansion, she spent most of her time at his place. Sometimes he was there, sometimes he wasn't. But she enjoyed all those little moments of just them being together even if it was for a few minutes while one of them was coming or going. "I liked that part."
"Me too," Milo said. He liked having Lulu at his place. They didn't even need to do anything, he just liked knowing that she was there. He liked that she felt safe and at ease with him, in his home. "If you want - " Milo paused, not sure if he should continue or quit while he's ahead.
"If I want what?" Lulu asked. Milo had definitely become more confident in expressing himself the longer they dated, but there were times when he held back because he wasn't sure how she'd react.
Milo took a deep breath, "If you want - I'd like you to move in with me," Milo said. "You don't have to answer right away. Think about it and we can talk about it - "
Lulu shook her head, "I don't need to think about it," Lulu said. "I want to move in with you."
"Yeah?" Milo asked. "You sure about that?" He stood up and pulled Lulu to her feet.
Lulu smiled, "Yes," Lulu said and wrapped her arms around Milo's neck. "I love you." Lulu kissed Milo then pulled back. "I love being with you."
"Same here," Milo whispered and kissed Lulu again. "I love you, Lesley Lu Spencer."
"Wanna show me how much?" Lulu asked.
"Later," Milo said. "I - I just want to make sure that you're moving in with me, because you want to and not to hide from your dad."
"I am," Lulu whispered. "I can't hide from him forever, I know that." Lulu pulled back from Milo and sat down on the couch again and motioned for him to sit next to her. "He asked me today if me knowing - if it changed anything and I told him yes, I told him it changed how I felt about him. And - instead of arguing with me, he told me that I didn't have to understand it but I had to accept it." Lulu shook her head, "He's right. I don't think I can ever understand it. What happened, it doesn't make sense to me on so many levels. And I think - " Lulu's voice trailed off and she started playing with the charms on her bracelet. She'd gotten this bracelet on her seventh birthday, her first real piece of adult jewelry. Every year her mom had given her a new charm on her birthday and once her mom went to the sanitarium, her grandma had given her one.
"You think what?" Milo gently prompted.
"I think I'm starting to see why no one told me," Lulu quietly said. It's not like anyone ever had an opportunity to tell her. She wasn't sure how old someone should be when they find something out like this. And her mom, her mom wasn't around and when she came back last fall, it probably didn't even occur for anyone to tell her. "You know, when I started looking into Rick Webber's death - Sonny, he told me to be careful. That I might find out something that could destroy my dad. That my dad felt responsible for my mom's condition, that he was the one who pushed her to find out the truth of what happened in the attic all those years ago. And if he found out that my mom didn't kill Rick Webber, that her condition was for nothing - that it'd kill him."
"But you stopped," Milo said. "We don't know if Scott Baldwin killed Rick Webber or if it really was your mom." It had been really hard for Lulu to stop trying to prove her mom's innocence. But she stopped because she didn't want to lose both of her parents.
"But what would I have done?" Lulu asked. "What if I had found out that Scott Baldwin or someone else killed Rick Webber? Would I have come forward or kept quiet?"
"I don't know," Milo said. "You would've had to decide what was more important. If it was more important to clear your mom's name, even though it wouldn't bring her back but it could potentially destroy your dad. Or if it was more important to keep quiet and protect - " Milo paused, seeing the similarities in the two situations.
"Protect him from the truth," Lulu whispered. "I think - I think I know why no one told me. But just because I get that, it doesn't mean I don't think I deserved to know - because I did."
"I know," Milo said. He couldn't imagine keeping something like that from someone he loved.
Lulu rested her head on Milo's shoulder and smiled slightly when he pulled her closer, "You know - you know that day when you first asked me out," Lulu began.
"Yeah," Milo said. "You were wearing an aqua sweater."
"You remember what I was wearing?" Lulu asked.
"Yeah," Milo said.
Lulu smiled, Milo was the most incredible man on the face of the earth and she was beyond lucky to have him in her life. "Well, that day you asked me out - the same day I was wearing an aqua sweater, I bet you didn't know you weren't going to get a girlfriend with a perpetual black cloud over her head," Lulu said.
"Don't say that," Milo said. "You've had a rough time of things. You're getting through it."
"Because of you," Lulu said, lifting her head so she could look at Milo. She didn't know how she would've gotten through the past month without Milo. He gave her space when she needed it, he listened when she wanted to talk, he made her feel normal - most importantly, he didn't tell her it was going to be okay. "You're my lifesaver, you keep me from drowning."
Milo brought his hand to Lulu's face and brushed his lips over his, "You're strong Lulu, you don't need me - " Lulu started to protest and Milo silenced her with a kiss. "But I'm glad that you think you do. Because I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Well, hopefully - you're not going to find out because I plan on sticking around for a long time," Lulu promised. She suddenly stood up and impatiently pulled Milo to his feet.
"What?" Milo asked and slid his arms around Lulu's waist. "Do you want to go out or stay in?"
"Stay in," Lulu whispered and kissed Milo. "I want you all to myself." Lulu quickly kissed Milo then pulled away. "So I'm going to take a shower and change, and order room service and we can have dinner - just the two of us."
Milo pulled Lulu back to him, "I like the sound of that," Milo said and kissed Lulu. "You okay? With everything?"
Lulu nodded, "As okay as I'm going to be," Lulu said.
"You'll tell me if it's not?" Milo asked.
"Yes," Lulu said. "You worry too much."
"I can't help worrying about you," Milo said.
"Because I'm such a screw up," Lulu said.
"You're not," Milo insisted.
"You're just saying that - "
"Because I love you," Milo said. "I do. But you're strong, brave, courageous. You don't give up. You're smart, funny and Lulu - " Milo paused and gently ran the back of his hand along Lulu's face. "When you smile at me, you light up the room. You're so beautiful, sometimes I wonder how a girl like you could love a guy like me."
"Hey," Lulu protested and quickly kissed Milo. "If I don't get to feel sorry for myself, you don't get to either. I'm still amazed that you were single when we started dating, but thankfully you were."
"I'm not anymore," Milo said.
"I know," Lulu said and kissed Milo.
"So about that shower?" Milo asked.
Lulu laughed, "What about it?," Lulu asked.
"How bout you skip it?" Milo asked and started leading Lulu to the bedroom.
"Sounds good to me," Lulu whispered. So maybe her parents wasn't as perfect as she thought they were. Maybe perfection didn't really exist. But being with Milo, that was as close as she'd ever come to perfection and there was no way she was going to give that up.
THE END