"Dr. Shepherd?" Katie's voice came from outside my office door.
"Come in," I replied.
"Dr. Shepherd, I have to tell you something. It's really important, and it might make you a little bit mad."
"What did you do?"
"Hey! I didn't do it! It was…umm…"
"Spit it out, Katie."
"Well, I don't want to tell you this, but I will. I should because you're kind of my friend."
"Kind of?"
"Well…You're nice to me. The rest of the attendings are kind of…not…"
It made me feel a little better knowing my intern "kind of" considered me as her friend. Secretly, I agreed with her. Attendings had the tendency to be mean to interns to teach them a lesson. I'd done it myself many times, not that it was right. Katie seemed genuinely scared to be standing in front of me at that moment.
"Katie, when we aren't working, how about you call me Addison?"
"Okay…But you might change your mind…"
"Tell me what's going on."
"IsortofsawMarkdoingsomethingIshouldn'tsee," she blurted all in one breath.
"What did you see Mark do?" I had only understood "see" and "Mark."
"I saw him go into a hotel with a blonde woman. They left a bar together and went in when I was leaving a restaurant across the street. I'm so sorry."
"WHAT?!"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," She was nearly crying.
"It's not your fault. Don't cry. He's an ass."
"But, I didn't want to make you mad. You're my only friend here!"
"Sweetie, I'm not mad at you." I tried to comfort her before realizing what she had just said. "I'm your only friend?"
"Yeah," she sniffled. "Why else do you think I only eat lunch when you do?"
"Well, I thought you were just eager to get ahead. I don't blame you."
"Gee, thanks."
"No, I mean…don't take it that way. I enjoy your company. Otherwise, I would've told you to buzz off long ago."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. Now, I'm sure you have other friends."
"I don't. I never get invited to the parties."
"Well, you're not missing much there, unless you enjoy vomiting."
"No…Who's the father?" she quickly changed the subject.
"Well, I haven't told him, yet. I'm not really sure how to tell him. Either way, someone will get hurt."
"You can practice on me, or you can tell him first. Whatever you want to do."
"That's nice, Katie. I really appreciate it, but I need to talk to Mark first."
"Is he…"
I walked past her and toward the elevator. The elevator had only climbed one floor when Mark stepped on. He looked at me, but averted his eyes when I looked back. I wanted to yell; I wanted to fight and scream, but Mark couldn't help what he did. He was just Mark being Mark.
"Addie, we need to talk."
"Yes, we do."
He led me to an on-call room, and we sat on opposite bunks. It was a first. I opened my mouth to tell him just what I thought about what he did, but he held up his hand to stop me.
"Let me go first."
"Fine."
"I know I'm going to hurt you, but you have a right to know. After you told me you're pregnant, I went to a bar. I got drunk and went to a hotel with an astonishingly stupid woman because I am an astonishingly stupid man."
"I…"
"No, not yet. Here's the thing: the whole time I was with her, I couldn't help but think about you. She didn't look like you, or smell like you. She didn't feel like you. I'd never felt that way before. I could cheat on a woman every day and never think about it, but with her, all I could think about was you. I'm so sorry, Addison. It was wrong and stupid. You don't have to forgive me or stay with me, but if you do, it'll never happen again."
"Mark, thank-you for telling me. I already knew, but thank-you for being honest."
"Who told you?"
"I have my sources."
"I bet it was that perky little snitch, Katie."
"She was having dinner in a restaurant across the street. She saw you go in the hotel. Don't give her any trouble. She did what she thought was right."
"I won't say anything to her, but I have something else to say to you."
"Mark…"
"No, I'm still not finished. I've done some thinking since I sobered up, and I want to share it with you."
"Okay, but I want my turn soon."
"I know you know who the father is, but I don't care. I want the baby to be mine. I know you think I'll make a horrible father, and you're probably right. But I want to be with you, take care of you, and have a family with you. Just give me a chance to do something right."
"My turn. The baby is Derek's."
"He's Derek's? But I wanted him to be mine."
"Maybe it's for the better. You're right. You would be a terrible father, and we don't always get what we want."
"I want you, Addie."
"I want a lot of things, like the relationship I had with my husband five years ago and to have his baby and have him care about us. We don't always get what we want."
"Addie, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done anything that night. It's my fault Derek isn't here with you and the baby."
"I don't know what to do. I should tell him, but he wouldn't return my calls before I knew I was pregnant. I haven't talked to him since…" I trailed off, tears beginning to fall.
"Baby, shh. Don't cry. We'll work this out. Somehow, it will all work out. I promise."
Somehow, I didn't think it could ever work out. I decided to put off telling Derek for a while.
A/N: So, Derek is the father. For all of you who wanted it to be Mark, please don't hate me or stop reading. I have a plan (and I kind of wanted to leave it open for a sequel because I have some ideas for that, too.) I also have some ideas for a Mark and Addison baby thing, if anyone is interested or has suggestions, feel free to pm and REVIEW!!! Please!