Chapter Seven: Pork

Pork. What is there to say about Pork? He was the first of many, and probably the one I most want to forget.

"Did anything ever happen between you and that guy?" Mary Ann asked a few weeks later. It was towards the end of September and the weather was oddly oppressively warm. Much to Patty's relief, Mary Ann had offered to drive her home from work, though they hadn't been driving for any significant time when Mary Ann started her questioning. "The only reason I'm asking," she added quickly, "is because I had a favor to ask you. But if you're dating that guy-"

"Victor," supplied Patty.

"Yeah, Victor." She paused. "Well. Are you?"

"No," said Patty. "We're just friends."

Mary Ann's eyes darted over to Patty for a moment, trying to judge the validity of that statement. And if Patty had been honest with herself, maybe she would have tried a moment of introspection and come to the same conclusion as Mary Ann.

"Are you sure?" asked Mary Ann. "Because you don't look so sure. Heck, you didn't even sound so sure."

But Patty was nothing if not stubborn. Admittedly, she liked Victor. He was very nice and had a calming effect on her like no one else did. Plus he was handsome, and he seemed to understand her really well. And she knew he liked her. She wouldn't let these be reasons to date him, however. Somehow she had convinced herself they wouldn't work together.

Maybe if she looked deeper, though, she'd realize what was holding her back was the fear that his understanding nature would fly out the window once he knew her family secret. That he wouldn't want her any more, and once he knew, he'd be out the door so quickly she wouldn't even have time to freeze him.

Truly, if Patty was honest with herself, she'd realize she was falling for Victor, hard, and that emotional distance would be the one immunity from heartbreak.

Patty wasn't analyzing herself, though. She refused to look deeper than the surface of her feelings for Victor. And since she was stubborn, this was the way she was determined it would remain.

"Of course I'm sure," she said. "We went on one date, and we both knew it wasn't going to work. So we're just friends."

"Okay then," said Mary Ann. "Well, if that's the case, I was wondering if you'd consider going to dinner with my brother."

"Your brother?"

"Yeah. And me and my boyfriend. Jon - that's my brother- came into town for a few days unexpectedly and I already had plans with Ben, but I don't want to leave Jon alone when he's come all this way. So, to make a long story short, I was wondering if you'd come out with all of us."

"A double date?"

"Yeah, exactly," said Mary Ann. "It'd be real casual. No big deal."

"Well I-"

"Jon's a real great guy you know. He's funny and easy to talk to. You'd probably have a great time."

Patty sighed. "Sure, Mary Ann. It'll probably be great."

"Great!" said Mary Ann, her eyes shining. "So, it's Saturday night. We'll pick you up at your house around seven, okay?"

"Okay."

Mary Ann grinned. "He's just great. You'll love him."

"I'm sure I will," said Patty, feigning enthusiasm. A blind date was not exactly high on her list of ways to meet people.

The rest of the drive home, Mary Ann continued to babble on about Jon, and then Ben, and finally work. It was one of the longest car rides of Patty's life, and so she nearly bolted when Mary Ann finally pulled up to the manor.

"I'm home, Mom!" she called as soon as she was through the door. "Are you here?"

"In the attic, Patty!"

Patty set her purse on the table and headed up the stairs, pulling out her pony tail as she went. She found her mom standing over the Book of Shadows, holding a notepad and a pen, and scribbling something down, and stopped dead in her tracks.

"We have a warlock to deal with," said Penny, looking up. "Patty?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," said Patty. "It's just...your hair..." And indeed, her mother's hair was completely different, now cut very short. It made her look youthful, somehow. It was odd.

Penny smiled and patted it somewhat vainly. "Do you like it?" she asked.

Patty nodded dumbly. "It looks good, Mom. Just really...different."

"Yes, well. I felt like a change. Long hair is such a pain, and Jean Pierre-"

"Jean Pierre?" said Patty. She laughed nervously. Who was this woman? "Since when do you have your hair styled by a French man named Jean Pierre?"

"Oh...well, Jean Pierre isn't a hair stylist," said Penny.

"Well who is he then?" asked Patty, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Mother?"

Penny tapped the pen against the notepad, frowning. "He's just a man I met."

"What?"

"At the grocery store," said Penny. "I was buying bacon and he wanted ham, and one thing led to another-"

"You're dating a Frenchman you met in the grocery store?" Patty asked incredulously.

"Uh, yes. Kind of. Yes."

"I need to sit down," said Patty, stumbling over to the sofa that had once belonged to some obscure relative. Maybe someone on her dad's side. Sylvia? Sophia? She couldn't remember. "How long have you been dating?" she asked.

"Not long. I only met him three weeks ago."

"Three weeks ago? Three weeks ago?"

"Patty, please calm down. There's no use getting worked up about this."

Patty rolled her eyes. "Dad only died two years ago, and now you're cutting your hair and dating a man you met ordering pork products, and you want me to be calm?"

"Your father has nothing to do with my dating Jean Pierre," said Penny, still sounding oddly tranquil considering Patty's escalating frustration.

"But Dad-"

"Allen would have wanted me to be happy, Patty. And I'm tired of being alone." She set the notepad and pen down on top of the Book and crossed to room to sit next to her daughter. "It doesn't mean I love your dad any less. He was the love of my life. There won't ever be another."

Patty raised and eyebrow and hugged herself tightly.

"You'll understand someday, Patty. Very few men are worth keeping. The rest are expendable. Good for awhile, then you put them away."

"Mother!"

Penny shrugged a shoulder. "It's true. Trust me, I've been around a lot longer than you have."

Patty didn't trust her, though. Instead she heaved a large sigh, comforted slightly by the fact that her mother clearly didn't love Jean Pierre, and said, "So who's the warlock?"

Penny stood up and held out a hand, pulling Patty to her feet too. "I found him in the Book right before you got home. His name's Ventor. Powers include blinking, astral projecting, and throwing energy balls."

"Energy balls?"

"Apparently he's not just in to killing witches, he likes to go after demons too."

"Wonderful," said Patty. "Is there a vanquishing spell?"

"Nope," said Penny. "I was thinking you can write a spell, I'll do potion duty."

Patty nodded. "Okay. I'm all over it." She took the pad and pen out of Penny's hand and went back to the couch.

"Are we okay?" asked Penny. "I mean, are you okay? You know, with the whole Jean Pierre thing?"

"I guess," said Patty. She pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled wickedly. "I hope you and Pork are very happy together."

Penny rolled her eyes. "Just don't call him that to his face, okay, Patricia?"

Patty smirked. "Whatever you say, Mother."