My dad once gave me some really good advice. Of course, he borrowed it from my mom but it sounded really good coming from him. He told me that sometimes you have to step up, take control and figure out what you want. At the time, I thought he was talking about me trying to make the track team sophomore year but little did I know that it would mean a lot more sooner than I thought. My dad was right I guess there were so many things that I wanted but right now all I wanted was the truth. I wanted the truth about Josh, the truth about Chris Keller, the truth about my parents. I just wanted the truth, but to get the truth I was going to have to start with a few lies.
I opened the front door to my house and hoped that no one would hear me walk in. It was 6:15 and in a few minutes I knew my mom would be calling us all down for a family dinner, the first we've all had in a long time. This past year, our loud obnoxious brood of six was whittled down to a silent three. The silence isn't all that bad but with my two enemies and one ally gone, there was a lot less drama, and the Scott's aren't the Scott's unless there's more drama than food at the dinner table. I tried to shut the door with as much silence and grace as possible. Unfortunately, the spacious front hall kept no secrets and a grand echo was released when the door was finally shut in place.
"Jamie?" I heard my mom call from the kitchen. I'd forgotten about her little outburst this morning, I was hoping that she'd done the same; judging by the tone of her voice she didn't and wasn't about to anytime soon.
I made my way to the kitchen and found half of her small frame stuck in the oven; from what I could tell (and smell) she was trying to lug a tray of pork chops out of the oven. She finally gave up and pulled herself out, she smiled at me and asked
"Could I get a little help here, hon?"
"Sure Mom" I found this a little suspicious because my mom is practically stronger than me and according to everyone in my family, she'll probably outlive us all. I made my way to the oven, put on some mitts and reach back to get the savory morsels of meat that were calling my name. When I got a grip on the tray and began to pull, my mom stuck her head inside and started apologizing profusely.
"Jamie, I'm so sorry. I was acting like a paranoid, overprotective bitch as Brooke put it and I'm really truly sorry for taking it all out on you. What happened really had nothing to do with you but I got so afraid that something might happen to you and I know you're wondering what the hell is she talking about…but because I'm your mother and I love you more than life itself, I'm asking you to not ask any questions or dig any deeper than you have. So with that said, do you forgive be for being a stubborn jackass?"
Her apology hit me with a wave of guilt. I really didn't want to ask any more questions but there was no turning back. I mean, who leaves a story half untold? For the sake of protecting my mom, I had to tell the biggest lie of my life.
"Mommy, of course I forgive you, put can we get out of this oven so I can give you a hug?" So far, so good. We both stood up and she gave me the warmest hug imaginable, only making it harder for me to say what I was about to say next. "And I promise you that I respect your decision to not tell me anything else, it's your choice and I promise that I'll leave your history alone. Whatever you dealt with is between you and Daddy and I promise I'll leave it at that"
So many promises, so may lies, I'm surprised that it all came out so effortlessly. I swear to God, I was born to be an actress or a pathological liar. Either way, it worked because my mom was starting to tear up in that happy, maternal 'I've raised a good kid' way. God, I was starting to feel guilty.
"Honey, I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much for understanding Jamie." At that moment, my dad walked in looking very peaceful like he knew everything would work itself out. He put his hand on the lower part of my mom's back and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"See, Hales? I told you that we could fix this. I told you not to worry, we raised good kids."
Trying to avoid my guilt, I tried to focus on something else. I looked down and noticed my dad's hand resting exactly where my mom's tattoos were, each of them in a certain order. The first was 23, my dad's high school and NBA jersey number. The second was 18, which was the number of hours my mom spent in labor with Cissy. The third tattoo is for the number of minutes that Noah and Matt were born apart, which was 4 and the last tattoo was for me. I was born on the 8th day of the 8th month (August), and my parents had been married 8 years. So can you all guess what number is mine?
I stood there staring at the numbers on my mother's back trying to give my self a diversion….that didn't really work. If I was going to feel guilty, I decided that I would do it in my room. I walked out of the kitchen and made my way up the stairs that led to the den. I walked up gingerly hoping once again that my parents wouldn't call after me.
"Jam?" my dad called out "Can you call everyone else down for dinner?"
Just what I fucking needed, a family dinner with my three nosy, obnoxious siblings who probably wanted to know every single detail of the previous night. Well two actually because Cissy already knew, I decided to crash her room first. As usual her door was wide open, music blaring, dressed in one of my dad's old jerseys and a pair of her boyfriend's (of the week) boxers.
"Dinner's ready and it's pork chop night so you might want to come and get it before the twins do." If it was one thing we both could agree on, it was my mom's food. She nodded and got up to make her way downstairs. As I walked out of her room she called after me.
"Just so you know, I covered your ass by telling mom and dad that you went shopping with Rhys so don't fuck up and say anything stupid if they ask" She walked past me and made her way downstairs as I stood there completely shocked wondering why she'd cover for me. I walked to the other end of the hall to the twins' rooms. Even though they had separate rooms, they both spent all their time in eachother's rooms. I saw that Matt's room was empty and the door adjoining to their bedrooms was wide open. I walked in and smiled at what I saw. Matt was lying on the floor listening to music while Noah was on his bed reading a book. As different as they were, no one could deny that the twins always had and always would function as a unit.
I made my way over to where Matty was lying down and deviously stuck my big toe into his right ear. He squealed like a little girl and jumped up, meanwhile throwing off my balance. We both collapsed in a heap of arms and legs on the floor as Noah just watched us with quiet amusement.
"Dude, that is so fucking disgusting!" He yelled as he tried to get up. I pushed him back down again knowing that this way probably going to result in me getting my ass kicked in a severe tickle fight. So I got up and ran down the stairs hoping that being safely seated at the dinner table would provide a good distraction. Like most things in my spoiled, dysfunctional life, that didn't work and in seconds I felt Matt sling me over his shoulder while playfully poking my sides.
"Jesus, Matt, put me down!" I yelled while trying to wriggle myself free.
"No, man, you just stuck your nasty ass foot fungus in my ear! There is no way I'm letting that slide…"
"Well, at least I wash my feet!" I retorted
"Oh, it's on!" he yelled as he and I play fought our way over to the dinner table. I watched as my parents looked on with the same nostalgic look whenever we all get along.
"You guys," my mom called as she chuckled "Come and eat before I let your father eat it all and you know he will. "
We all scrambled to our places at the tables as we passed the food around to eachother. I watched as everyone in my family piled their plates high with my mom's homemade cooking. It reminded me of the constant summers that we spend in Tree Hill gorging ourselves on Grandma Karen's food.
I looked around the table at each member of my family. I had to admit, it felt good to have Cissy and the twins home again, I'd forgotten how we all feed off of eachother's energy, it's a good reminder of what our family's all about. With all the loud talking, laughing and occasional yelling, we barely heard when the backdoor opened. But we did hear when the person came bustling into the dining room.
"Hello, Scott's!" It was none other than Brooke with both Rhys and Bailey in tow behind her although Rhys looked like the only person happy to come along, while Bailey just stood there sweatshirt clad in all her brooding glory. Brooke on the other hand was absolutely giddy and beaming as she greeted us all. "Hot Shot, Tutor Girl/Wife/Mom/Rockstar, Mini Taylor, Thing 1, Thing 2 and Rhys' partner in crime, hello to all of you beautiful people. Wait until you see what I've got."
She took a rolled up magazine out of her bag and threw it down on the table excitedly. It was the latest issue of Vanity Fair, with the headline 'Inside the Scott's: The Next Generation', I shook my head and rolled my eyes at both Bailey and Noah who were both having the same reaction as I was, meanwhile Cissy, Rhys and Matt were basking in glory of stardom once again. So much had happened since that shoot in late May…my mom, Chris and most of all Josh. Back then, that seemed to be the only thing that really mattered, smiling, looking pretty and giving everyone what they wanted, a glimpse into our lives.
I flipped through the pages, looking at each photo carefully, especially the ones that the photographer had insisted on taking of me and Zane. Now you might ask why Zane and Jenny were included, I mean they're not even really related to us…but they might as well be. None of us really know much about our parents' history in high school but I do know that their junior year of High School is what brought all six of them together. I sat there looking at the way they put Zane and I together in those photos, it's the exact same way they try and push us together in real life.
I love Zane, he's one of my best friends and if I honestly did feel anything for him, I do know that we'd be great together, but I don't and neither does he. What I do know is that Zane is head over heels in love with Rhys and she doesn't notice a thing. I mean you can't blame her, Zane's done an amazing job of hiding it and both he and I kind of enjoy hiding behind the pretense that one day we will get together, it's easier that way and it keeps our families just as happy so why set them straight?
Brooke bounded over to me and snapped me out of my thoughts "Well, I see that you and Zane look mighty cozy in these pictures, does this mean that I can start collecting my bet winnings?
All three Mothers had a bet going against eachother about the time that Zane and I would hook up. Peyton and my mom had bet that we were going to get together eventually and Brooke swore up and down that we were together already. Once again Zane and I did nothing to curb their enthusiasm, in fact in a way we fed it even more.
"Well, Brooke, if you must know" her ears perked up at the slightest mention of any gossip "Zane and I are…"
"What the hell, you can't leave me hanging Jamie" she whined "you know what they say"
"What do they say, Brooke?"
"Aunts over pants" she replied like it was the most apparent thing in the world.
I laughed "Says who?"
"Says me, and in this case, I happen to be the aunt and Zane happens to be the pants….or the boy whose pants you're trying to get into or are you the pants? I don't know…whatever, the point is, is that you have to tell me because I've got money riding on this kid so start talking."
I laughed even harder at Brooke's attempt to be intimidating; she and Rhys are so much alike that it's sometimes a little eerie.
"Uh, hello, Spaced Out- Spazzy McHoe-Hoe, do you mind coming back to earth and telling me something here?" Brooke asked as she tried to wave me out of my thought again.
Before I had the chance to say something the phone intercepted the conversation with it's need to be answered. Among all the loudness and activity going on in the house, my mom still found time to call out to me,
"Uh, honey could you answer that?"
I stuck my tongue out at Brooke and scampered off to find the phone, while she recovered from being deprived of her precious gossip and found the nearest phone on the kitchen counter and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Well, if it isn't my favorite granddaughter" I recognized the voice instantly
"Hi Grandpa" I squealed
"Well at least someone's glad to hear from you, Dan." came another voice on the same line
"Grandma Deb?"
"Hi sweetie, how are you?"
"Uh wow, is it just you two on the line or is someone else there too? " I joked
"Actually, sweetheart, I'm on here too" another familiar voice said
"What the… Grandma Karen?"
"Hi Jamie, Keane just bought me a new phone and I just figured out how to use three way on it so I called your grandfather and Deb and we all said, what the heck, let's check up on the kids."
"How is Keane?" I asked referring to my older cousin and Karen's youngest daughter.
"She's good, she just got back from Chicago yesterday and she says that she's looking forward to seeing you guys.
"Speaking of which" my Grandpa cut in "that's what we called to talk to your parents about."
"We just finished talking to Lucas and he said that he's waiting for Shayden to get back from his sailing trip to Catalina which will be in a couple days, so I guess we'll have to wait until then" Grandma Deb told me eventhough I already knew all of this seeing as I live right next door to Uncle Lucas.
"Really, Deb I think the girl knows this already. She lives next door to them, she probably got the news before we did" My Grandpa said giving a response that was peculiarly close to my own thoughts.
"Jesus Christ Dan, can we not have one conversation that's not filled with you and your sarcastic vendetta?" Grandma Deb replied obviously annoyed with him.
"For the love of God, Dan, Deb, would the two of you calm down? We called to talk to our Grandchildren, not have them listen to a pointless fight over the phone when they're thousands of miles away. At least let them get to Tree Hill before you start up." I stifled a giggle as Grandma Karen ended their petty feud, at least for the moment.
"Now honey, who's closer, Nathan or Haley?" she asked sweetly
I looked around for a parent to target. "Well Dad's right here, do you want to talk to him first?"
"That'd be fine dear" Grandma Deb said graciously
"You take care now and we'll see you soon, Jamie. We love you" Grandpa Dan said as I got ready to pass the phone to my Dad.
"I love you guys too, bye" I told them
"Bye" they all replied in unison
I walked up to my Dad and handed him the phone.
"It's the parentals, Daddy, all three of them"
He let out a groan and took the phone, bracing himself for what was going to come. Before the put the phone to his ear, he covered the mouthpiece and whispered to me "When this is over, you are so screwed, kid"
I reached up, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and ran off to go find my mom. I found her, upstairs sitting in our old playroom, sitting on the floor, leafing through the magazine. I walked in and joined her on the floor.
"You knew it was them, didn't you?" I asked her
She smiled and gave me a nod "After knowing Karen my whole life and Dan and Deb for almost thirty years, you kind of get a weird sense of when one of them is calling"
"Actually, Mom, in this case, it was all three of them at once."
My mom winced appreciatively, "Wow, uh that must have been fun"
"Well Grandma Karen was cool, she always is but Grandma Deb and Grandpa Dan were…"
"The same as always?" my mom supplied
"Um, pretty much. I don't see how they were ever married, they're all wrong for eachother and they never stop fighting." I said to my mom confusedly
"Well, kid, you're lucky that you weren't around when they were married because that was absolute hell and as much as I hate to admit it to you, you're Grandfather was kind of a jerk back then."
"Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't see how that is, he's so sweet; I always kind of thought that Grandma Deb was the wackjob."
My mom laughed "Well don't tell your father but I think Deb is a bit on the 'other' side if you know what I mean. As for your Grandfather, he did turn out to be pretty ok, I mean he really did do a good job helping Karen raise Keane, I mean he's practically a second father to her. I know Keith would be proud."
I shifted uncomfortably at the mention of my dead great-uncle Keith. I always get a little jealous when the adults talk about him. Everyone talks about what an amazing person he was, mostly Lucas and my mom are the ones who have the best stories to tell about him. He died before any of us were born and I've never told anyone this but I kind of see Uncle Keith as my guardian angel. I never really asked all the questions I wanted to about Uncle Keith, partly because of fear and partly because I didn't know how people would handle it.; but hearing my mom talk so freely about him, made me want to ask.
I leaned into my mom's shoulder as she put her arm around me; she knew that I wanted to talk.
"Mom"
"Yeah, baby"
"Do you think that Uncle Keith would have liked me?" I asked hesitantly
My mom looked at me and smiled softly, "Of course he would have honey; the two of you are a lot alike you know."
"We are?"
"Yes. The two of you both have big hearts and you'd both do anything for your family and you both give really good advice. You see how close you and Keane are? I think you and Keith would have been that way too."
"Mom" I asked again
"Yes, baby girl"
"Did Grandpa and Keith get along?"
My mom looked at me with a mixture of surprise and confusion, "Where did that come from?"
"I'm just curious, that's all"
"Well, to be honest, not really. I don't really think it's my place to tell you the whole story, but I will tell you that there were a lot of unresolved issues between them and when Keith died, Dan took it really hard. He's made peace now and I really do think that helping Karen raise Keane is what really helped him get over it. Other than that, I really can't tell you anything else; the people that you really should be asking are Lucas and Karen."
"I'm scared to ask." I said bluntly
"Why?" my mom inquired gently
"Because I'm scared I won't get an answer"
She sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, as if trying to search for the right words.
"Jamie, Lucas loves you a lot, he took Keith's death really hard but I'm sure that he'd be happy that you asked about him. I mean, it's not everyday that one of our kids starts asking about the person who was like a second father to him. And as for Karen, it's impossible for her to deny her Grandkids anything, I'm sure she'd love it if you did ask her. But if you don't get the answers you want, just remember this. Grief takes time, it make take 10 days or 20 years, but no matter how long the process, it still takes time."
We sat there quietly for a while as I drank in my mother's words. A few minutes later, my dad walked in looking very irritated. My mom looked at him and smiled teasingly.
"Did you have fun talking to your parents?"
He eyed my mom with mock anger and replied in a sarcastic tone "Oh, yeah, it was great and guess what? It's about to get even more fun." I got up and he took the spot where I was sitting, next to my mom and he asked me "Do you mind going to look for the other brats again?"
My mom swatted him playfully "Nathan!"
He smiled and winked "Oh sorry, I meant kids"
"Right" I replied
I pretended to grumble as I walked out "The things I do for this family"
"We heard that!" they both yelled at the same time while laughing
I rolled my eyes and walked off, "Parents" I thought to myself
I made my way downstairs and found all three of my siblings lounging around lazily in the den.
I walked in and collapsed on the nearest couch, which Cissy happened to be sprawled out on.
"Hey" she whined "you're sitting on my legs"
"Bite me" I told her childishly
She moved over and in a very un-Cecelia like way, shared some of the multicolored afghan she was snuggled under.
"So what's up?" she asked "We heard that the grandparents called and we all ran in here, any news on the Tree Hill front?"
"I think we might be going a little earlier this year" Noah said as he looked up from his latest read.
Cissy let out a frustrated growl, "What the hell, it's too early. Can't they come here?"
Matt looked at her like she had lost more than her mind, "You do realize who we're talking about here, right? When was the last time that anyone besides Grandma Karen came here to see us?"
I remembered right away, "That was the year I was six and you had given us all the chicken pox"
Matt just stared at me, "You weren't actually supposed to answer that."
Cissy and Noah just looked at eachother and started cracking up at our ridiculous banter. A few seconds later our parents walked in, hand and hand, wondering what the hell was wrong with them.
"Ok, what's so funny" my asked looking from one child to the other
Nothing Ma; just the fact that Matt is still in denial about giving us all the chicken pox the year that the Grandparents came over.
"Dude, I so did not, I swear to God, it was Noah!" he told us all indignantly
My dad just looked at him and shook his head, "Sorry to break it to you, buddy, but it was you" he said as he used Matt and Noah's childhood nickname. "Anyways, speaking of Grandparents, we have some news."
We all groaned, knowing what was next. My mom tried to calm us all down without any avail.
"Ok, I know you're not gonna like this because we usually go much later on in the year but we think that you guys should be able to spend the last little bit of summer away from all the drama of LA. "So chickies", she said to us using the nickname she used to call us when she wanted to coax us into something "Pack your bags, my darlings because we are going to Tree Hill"
"What the hell?" I thought to myself. This was not going according to plan at all; the only thing I could think about at the moment was Josh. The rest of my summer was down the drain, by the time we all got home, he'd be back in New York with his Dad and who knows what would happen from there!
"When do we leave?" I heard Cissy ask sullenly
"Tomorrow morning, it works out better that way anyways." My mom said
"Why?" Noah and I asked at the same time
"Shay called Lucas a little while ago and said that he'll be home in a couple of hours and the only reason we were waiting was because we figured it made sense to go down all together as a family. Peyt and Jake called too and they were planning on going to visit her Dad so there's really no sense in waiting." My dad explained
"We're not driving down there like last year, are we?" Matt asked reluctantly
"No" my mom answered right away, I'm sure she was having a mental flashback of last year's fiasco. "We're flying out there in Brooke's work jet"
I giggled at the thought of us all piled into Brooke's spacious powder blue, Clothes over Bros jet with the flaming heart logo emblazoned on the outside.
"Oh you mean, the "Pansy Plane"? My Dad asked using the name that he and Uncle Lucas had christened it when Brooke had first had it custom designed
"If you must call it that, Nathan, yes" my mom said as she tried to contain her laughter, knowing that she silently agreed with the mischievous twosome. "Anyways, you guys, the point is, is that we're leaving at 10 so be ready to leave be 8:30 if you want to meet everyone there by 9. Understood?"
We all gave our collective nods, sighs and grunts of agreement as we went our separate ways. I ran straight upstairs straight to my bedroom, closed the door and started rummaging through the blurry mess of clothes that littered the floor for my cell phone. A few minutes and many swear words later; I found my little lifeline nestled safely between a random pillow and the denim cutoffs I was wearing earlier that day.
I grabbed it and quickly dialed Josh's number praying that he'd answer. Ring after ring after ring and still nothing until I heard his voice, but not in the way that I wanted to hear it.
"Hey, it's Josh…you know what to do" is all I heard followed by the familiar beep
"Hey, it's me….and we have a huge problem and it would help if you'd pick up the phone, which you're not doing." I strummed my fingers against the phone "Anytime now." Still no sound "Nothing? Ok fine, here's what's going on. My parents suddenly decided to haul us all off to Tree Hill for the rest of the summer, guess what that means? Yes, Josh, our days of juvenile espionage and possible summer romance are as good as over and unless you figure out some brilliant plan to get me out of it before 8:30 tomorrow morning, WE ARE SCREWED! Yes, that's right, you heard me, SCREWED! So anyways, if there's any chance that you get this before I leave call me and if not, still call me and we'll figure something out, ok? I'll talk to you soon…I hope…Bye"
I hung up and slumped down in the nearest pile of clothes, cursing the gods for the night's events.
Well, fabulous people I hope you liked it. Reviews people, reviews!