Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but I wish I did.
A/N This is the first time I've ever posted here, so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you enjoy this story, and I love reviews.
Buffy walked silently down the stairs into the lobby of the Hyperion. All was quiet. Everyone seemed to be asleep. Everyone except her. The events of the last two days kept running through her mind, from Wes' phone call two days ago, to her frantic efforts to get the slayers together, to jumping in the battle. Her eyes had immediately found Angel, and her heart had skipped a beat when she saw him fall. She had been terrified.
She mentally shook off her thoughts. She wandered through the lobby, and into the office she knew had been his. She sat down behind the desk, closing her eyes briefly, trying to picture him here, saving the helpless, fighting the good fight. She ran her hand across the desktop, then opened drawers, one at a time. Most of them were empty, some had a few errant papers scattered. Then she opened the last one. She picked up the picture that lay there, and looked down at her own face, staring up at her. She closed her eyes again, trying to keep the tears at bay, and let the memories of the girl she once had been flow through her.
Spike watched her, his heart heavy. He had missed her, had wanted to go to her so many times over the last year, but he had held back. He had known in his heart who she loved, but he hadn't wanted to accept it. Now, seeing her sitting there, fighting back tears, he knew he couldn't deny it any longer. It had always been Angel, and it always would.
He stepped in the doorway. "Buffy?"
Her eyes flew open. "Spike!" She got up and made her way around the desk. "I'm so glad you're okay!" She gave him a quick hug. "Andrew told me that you had somehow come back."
"Well, you know me, luv. I always seem to find my way back."
She smiled, but her smile was sad. She didn't want to hurt him, but she knew that she would. She took his hand. "Spike..."
He shook his head. "Don't worry about it, luv. I know." He sighed. "It's Angel. I get my jollies sparring with him over you, but I've always known."
She looked at him. "You're a good man, Spike. Don't ever let anyone tell you different." She hugged him again. "You'll always be in my heart" she whispered. She pulled away, gave him a smile, then turned and walked out the door.
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Angel opened the door to his apartment. He hadn't really given any thought to why he had the hotel remodeled, just something in the back of his mind told him that someday he would need it again. That someday was here. He walked in, then paused when he reached his bed, smiling slightly as he saw her, curled up under the covers.
He wondered if she had known this was his room, or if she had just picked the first empty one she had found. He wished, at that moment, with all his heart, that the Shanshu would become his, and he could lay down beside her, and take her into his arms. To kiss her, to make love to her. He shook his head. It wasn't meant to be, and he already had enough regrets in his very long life. He didn't need any more. He was just thankful for the time he had had with her. He turned and made his way back to the door.
"Angel?"
He paused as she whispered his name, then turned to her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay." She sat up, and the cover fell back. He had to smile. She was dressed in one of his shirts, buttoned up to her neck, sleeves rolled up, and he knew that if she stood up, it would reach her knees. "How's your friend?"
"Well, he made it through the surgery, but he was still comatose when I left." His eyes were drawn to her small figure, propped up in his bed, and his thoughts strayed back to the day, 5 years ago, when, for one wonderful moment, all his dreams had come true.
Buffy saw the change in his eyes. "Angel?"
He pulled himself back to reality. He tried never to think about that day, but sometimes the bittersweet memories crept up on him. "I should...I'll go, let you get back to sleep." He turned once more and tried to leave, but once again her voice stopped him.
"Don't go."
"Buffy..."
"Why didn't you call me?"
He sighed. "I told you. I didn't expect to survive, and I didn't want you hurt." He turned, and she was standing there, next to him. Her nearness was intoxicating. He wanted to pull her close, to kiss her. Instead, he pushed her away. "Buffy, don't."
"Don't what? Don't love you?" She echoed her words from long ago, and he closed his eyes, trying not to think of that day. The look on her face, in her eyes, when she told him she wanted her life to be with him.
"Angel, look at me." She grabbed his arm, but he pulled away. He had to leave, had to get out of there before he broke down and took her in his arms.
He walked away, and reached the door. This time, he got it open before her next words froze him.
"I'll never forget."
Those words, the same words she had whispered in his ear before the forgotten day was taken from her. He saw her face, felt those long ago tears on his shoulder. He turned around slowly. "What did you say?"
"I'll never forget." Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. "That's what I said to you, that day. Our perfect day."
"No. Buffy...you can't..."
"I remember" she whispered.
"How?! I don't..." He paused, trying to understand. "The oracles said only I would remember, that you wouldn't. And you didn't! I know you didn't! You just left, you didn't remember anything!"
She shook her head. "I didn't. Not right away, but then...when Willow brought me back, I saw...it was like a dream. But I knew it wasn't. I knew it was real." She wiped away a tear that had escaped her eye. "I guess the Oracles didn't know, there is one thing more powerful than magic. Love." She whispered the word.
Angel watched her face. He knew he should leave. He was going to leave, to turn around and walk out. His legs moved, but they moved towards her, until he was holding her, her tears freely flowing now. He held her, his tears mixing with hers.
"I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to carry that burden."
She pulled away from him. "Don't you understand? I can live with the memory, if that's all that I get. I just want to be with you, beside you. I don't need you in the sunlight! I have nighttime hours anyway. And if all you can do is hold me, kiss me, well, then, that's all I need. I have the memories!"
"Buffy..."
She started to pace the room, the tears drying on her cheeks. "When you left me in Sunnydale, my heart broke, but I knew. I knew you were right. But what I didn't realise was that the Powers That Be were running everything!"
"Buffy, what are you talking about?"
"Angel, if you hadn't come to Sunnydale, met me, helped me, I would have died when I was 16 years old!"
"No, not me. It was Xander..."
"Xander would never have known where to find me if you hadn't showed him! You saved my life, more times than I want to think about. And loving you, and...fighting Angelus, it made me stronger. Stronger than I ever would have been without you." She stopped pacing and sat down on the bed. Angel sat down beside her and took her hand. "If you hadn't left, I would never have been able to defeat the First, to close the hellmouth. You wouldn't have had a son, never gone to Wolfram and Hart, never given me the amulet!"
"Everything that we've done, since the day we met, has all been a part of some big master plan!" Angel didn't know what to say. He knew she was right. "And I'm tired, Angel. So tired of it all! Tired of being some pawn, of living my life for them, for the Powers That Be! Now I want to live my life for me." She reached up and touched his cheek, and he covered her hand with his. "I love you, Angel. With all my heart, all my soul. I love you just as much today as I did the first time I kissed you. And that is never, ever going to change."
She leaned forward into him, and their lips met. He kissed her, softly at first, then deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her, putting all her love into that one kiss. He pulled back, just holding her, stroking her back, then he lay her down on the bed. He lay down beside her, gathering her up into his arms, and she lay her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and, with his arms around her, drifted off into sleep.