Disclaimer: Nope! Still don't own anything!
"Angel?" Buffy walked into the dark courtyard and sat down beside him. The moonlight gave everything a soft blue/white glow. He had been gone most of the day, finally getting back about an hour after sunset. He had been out here ever since.
The sat in silence for a few minutes, until she couldn't stand it any longer. "How's Gunn?"
"I don't know. He was awake for a few minutes today, but he's still in serious condition." His voice sounded hollow.
"I'm sorry, Angel. And I'm sorry about Wesley, too." She reached for his hand.
"It was my fault."
"Angel...don't. You can't blame yourself, they knew what they were getting into..."
"It was my plan." He felt her hand on his, but he didn't look at her. "I wanted it over with. Take out the members of the Black Thorn, bring on the apocalypse " He paused, and she didn't know what to say. "I saw the light at the end of the tunnel."
She looked at him questioningly. "What?"
"Nothing." He shook his head. "I just wanted it to end."
"It did." She took his face in her hands, and turned him to face her. "It's over."
"We don't know that, Buffy. We don't really know what happened." He sighed and turned away. "And now they're all gone. Not just Wes, and Gunn. Doyle, Cordelia...Fred."
She wanted to cry at the sorrow in his voice. She had lost friends too, but she still had Willow, and Xander, and Dawn. "Angel...Gunn will be okay. And Wes..." Her voice faltered.
"At least he can be with Fred now. He hadn't been happy since she died."
"Willow mentioned her to me after she came here and restored your soul."
He stood up and walked over to the edge of the courtyard, absently picking at the night blooming jasmine planted there. "Fred was...she was pure, and sweet." His voice was lighter as he spoke of her. "When I first met her, she was crazy. She had spent 5 years in a hell dimension, as a slave. I saved her life, brought her back..." He turned and looked at her. "She was one of a kind. Special. Without her..." He stopped, he couldn't force himself to go on.
Her heart broke for him. "I'm sorry, Angel. I wish I could have done something."
He looked at her, his eyes hard. "You wouldn't, remember?! You didn't trust me anymore, I was working for Wolfram and Hart!"
She shook her head, confused. "I don't..."
"Giles told me, when I called to talk to Willow, to get her to come here. Nobody trusted me anymore. Andrew told me the same thing when he came to get the rogue slayer!" His voice dropped to a whisper. "You told me."
She went to him, taking his hands in hers. He tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let him. "Angel...I...I lied. I lied to you. It hurt, seeing you with Faith, and I wanted to hurt you. But it was all a lie! I've trusted you since the day you told me who you were. When I lay down the crossbow, and offered my life to you. And you didn't take it." She touched his cheek. "When you killed your sire to save me."
His words were tearing him apart inside. "Buffy..."
"I didn't know, I swear!" Tears came to her eyes, and he reached up and wiped them away. "Giles never told me you called. I would have helped if I could have."
"It didn't matter anyway. She...she couldn't be saved."
She pulled him to her, bringing her arms around him. "I'm sorry, Angel. I'm so sorry. And it does matter!" She pulled back and looked up at him. "I never wanted you to think I didn't trust you, that I didn't love you." She reached up on her tiptoes, and kissed him. "And I'm going to stay here, help you get through this. We will figure out what happened, Angel. Find out whether the fight's over, or whether it's just starting." She laid her head on his chest. "And no matter what, I'll be here for you."
He smiled down at her. "You still my girl?"
"Always."
Okay, okay, I know, more sentimental crap, but what can I say, that's just me! I do have a plan, don't worry, it may take a little while to get there, but it'll happen. R&R! Oh, and thanks red, for your awesome reviews and words of encouragement!