Joshua awoke to a strange feeling in his gut. He remembered his talk with Ewan last night, and felt that he should try to talk to him some more, or offer any comfort. It seemed to him, that Ewan was always worried about him, and Joshua never really seemed to worry too much about Ewan. Yesterday made it clear to Joshua, that Ewan was suffering perhaps far worse than he was. He seemed like he needed to talk to someone, but couldn't. Perhaps Joshua could help him, as a little favor to repay everything Ewan had done for him.

Joshua jumped out of bed and got dressed, walking down to the dinning hall for breakfast. His usual gang of friends called out to him, and he sat down with Dan, Frank, Naomi, and Marry.

"So Dan, I heard that your going to move up a level in your training, is that true?" Naomi asked very interested.

"Really? Where did you here that?" Dan asked.

"Its all over the order" Marry exclaimed.

"Wow I guess it's hard to keep secrets around here huh?" Dan asked.

"Why keep that a secret, you should be proud. We're all really happy for you." Naomi said with a smile.

"Thanks." Dan said with a smile.

"Joshua, I'm going t go to the library to look up some books on a certain kind of demon…would you like to come with me? You probably know the library better than anyone here." Sister Marry said with a giggle as she blushed.

"That's really nice of you to invite me, but I'm actually thinking about going over to see Ewan…I need to talk to him about something…" Joshua said.

"Oh…okay…well maybe next time then." Mary said with a smile.

Joshua stepped outside and looked around. It was a beautiful day, and it seemed as if everything was right in the world. He began to walk in the direction of Ewan's house when he heard sister Naomi call out to him. He turned around and saw her catching up to him.

"Do you think…its okay?" Sister Naomi asked out of breath.

"What do you mean? Of course its okay…it's just down the street…I'm just going to talk to him…ill be back soon. Joshua replied.

"Well…okay…" Naomi agreed. "But be back soon. I don't want to have to worry about you all day."

"You don't have to worry about me period!" Joshua called out running away and waving goodbye with a smile.

Joshua approached the house, and walked inside. "Ewan? I need to talk to you for a second...where are you? Ewan?"

Joshua walked around the house and couldn't find him anywhere. "Did he run an errand? I guess I could wait…" Joshua said sitting down on the couch in the living room. As Joshua sat there and looked around he noticed an envelop on the coffee table across from him. Joshua leaned over and grabbed it noticing it was addressed to him.

Joshua stood up and walked into the kitchen opening a drawer and pulling out the letter opener. There was a single folded peace of paper inside in which Joshua delicately slid out. Putting the empty envelope and letter opener down on the counter, Joshua opened the letter.

Just as soon as the paper was opened, a strange red cloud like substance shot out, and flew around the room at lightening speed, taking on the form of a bird, Aion's bird.

It happened so quickly Joshua was only able to take a half a step back in shock and fear when the bird pierced him right through the chest and disappeared. Joshua screamed and fell backwards onto the kitchen tile floor, where he laid there unconscious, the empty message still in hand.

"Why...is it so dark? So cold…so…alone…

What's this feeling…I'm not alone…someone's here… "

Ewan awoke, unable to open his eyes right away. His chest was killing him and he moaned in agony. He could feel someone's warm and gentle touch on his torso, which seemed to calm him down a bit, until he had remembered what had happened.

Ewan forcefully opened his eyes and tried to sit up.

"You wont accomplish anything that way, I suggest you lay back down."

Ewan, now dizzy with pain, realized he was in what looked like a hospital room with a woman, dressed not like a nurse, but a maid. With absolutely no protest, Ewan lay back down, and watched as the maid tied the bandage around his chest.

"Where…."

"Your at Lord Aion's House…you re very fortunate he spared you like he did…"

Ewan just lay there.

"My name is Acima I take care of all Lord Aion's guests, as well as his house when he is away." The maid exclaimed as she headed over to a computer monitor and started typing.

Just as she did, Aion walked into the room. Acima bowed to Aion, and then left the room.

"She a lot more useful than the other one. Acima is a lot more responsible and actually has common sense."

"What do you…want with me?" Ewan asked trying to sit up.

"I already told you, I need you assistance I cannot do this on my own."

"Forget it, you can kill me."

"Being the hero in this situation wont get you anywhere, and there is no use in killing you, really." Aion said walking around the bed to look at him. "If you consider cooperating with me, your life will have meaning. You can how God your anger and frustration…just like he has his way of showing his frustration and anger. God has abandon you…don't you think its time to abandon him? Your half way there, I'm just speeding p the process. You will thank me later. Acima will bring you food and clothing." Aion said, and then left the room.

"God…what am I doing here?"

Joshua lay on the kitchen floor twitching and screaming as if he were having a horrible seizure or bad nightmare. His pulse was rushing, his temperature was rising, and his eyes were rolled in the back of his head. As all of this was going on, Joshua suffered from severe flash backs of his whole life.

Just as soon as it got to unbearable, everything stopped, and Joshua's pulse went back to a calm relaxing rate, as if he had been in a peaceful sleep. Joshua slowly opened his eyes and sat up looking around, slightly disorientated.

Upon remembering his flashbacks, the 12-year-old inside an 18year old's body began to mature, and realize and remember what had been going on for 6 years.

Joshua wanted to believe it really was just a nightmare, making a deal with Aion, letting him brainwash, and doing things that eventually lead up to Chrono and Rosette's death.

As he began to breakdown, Joshua leaned his back against the counter, sitting in the corner, with his hands pressed against his head screaming in shear torment. So much anger, so much sadness so much hate and regret all taking a blow at Joshua at once was enough to drive him to insanity. Ewan was right.

Feeling sick to his stomach, Joshua leaned over, throwing up on the kitchen tile. Feeling drained, He then lay helpless on the floor, staring up at the ceiling, sobbing. Knowing Sister Naomi would no doubt come looking for him soon, Joshua tried to stand up. He leaned on the counter for support and took a few steps, feeling week and dizzy. Joshua made his way over to the door, and slowy stepped outside. Walking back would probably take him a while.

"Sister Naomi, where is Joshua?" Sister Kate asked as she passed her office.

"Um…he went to talk to Remington Sister…he should be back real soon." Naomi replied.

"Remington isn't home…he hasn't been answering the phone." Sister Kate said stopping her pacing and turning to Naomi.

"Maybe he just isn't picking up the phone…I'll go and see if Joshua is ready to come back." Naomi replied.

'Please do, I have a few things I would like to discuss with him." Sister Kate replied

Sister Naomi walked out to the road, and to her surprise, Joshua was a couple of feet away.

"There you are Joshua! Sister Kate wants …to…Joshua?" Sister Naomi asked concerned. He looked so pale, so out of it, and she noticed the tearstains on his face. As much as she wanted to throw herself at him and ask what happened, she was a little more cautious. He was different. The air about him had changed. He wasn't the same person.

Naomi managed to say before Joshua walked right passed her. Naomi watched him walk inside the boys' dorm hall.

Naomi soon followed Joshua, and walked inside.

"Fred…have you seen Joshua?" Naomi asked.

"Yeah he went to his room…he looked horrible." Fred said hanging a flier up on the bulletin board.

"Alright then, I'm going up." Naomi said.

"You can't do that." Fred said looking at her.

"I realize that Fred, but I'm supposed to take care of him, I have to see what's wrong…Ill be back soon."

Naomi made her way up the stairs and arrived at Joshua's room. The door was slightly opened, and Naomi knocked. "Joshua, I'm coming in." She said.

Naomi entered the room to find Joshua sitting on his bed, his head in his hands.

There was an awkward silence, and then Naomi spoke.

"Joshua…you're scaring me...whats wrong?" She asked cautiously. Joshua didn't reply. Naomi walked in and sat next to Joshua. He seemed to just realize Naomi was there, straitening up a bit, and looking at her.

"Joshua…" Naomi asked quietly, putting her hand on his back. "Look at me…what happened?"

Joshua put his head in his hands again, silent tears running down his face. He had no energy to cry.

"I remember…everything…" Joshua said, still keeping his position. "I…killed so many…people…. Even my own…sister…Chrono…."

Naomi's heart sank into her stomach. "Joshua…" Naomi started. She didn't know what to say.

Joshua slowly raised his head, and looked Naomi strait in the eye. Naomi's breath got caught in her throat. The look he gave her seemed to pierce right through her. It made her so sad, and so horrified. Joshua truly was different.

"I…I…" Joshua began, but was cut off with his lack of energy. Joshua's eyes rolled to the back of his head once more, and he fell of the bed onto the floor.

"Joshua!" Naomi cried. She threw herself onto the floor and tried to sit him up, leaning his back against her lap. "Joshua? Naomi asked. She felt his forehead. Joshua was burning up.

Naomi carefully slid out from under him and slid is pillow under his head. She ran out of his room and down the stairs.

"Fred! Joshua is really sick! Get the doctor, I need to talk to Sister Kate its an emergency!" Naomi managed to say while running out the door.

"Sister Kate!" Naomi screamed practically breaking down the door while running in to the office.

"What on earth!?" Sister Kate bellowed.

"Sister Kate! We have a huge problem!"

It is true that God tests us all…but how do we know when he is testing us, and when he has truly abandon us like the Devil. God, why am I here? Next episode, Why?