-1 3 Months 10 Days and 20 hours Earlier

Sam's mind was spinning as he paced the small hospital waiting room, his stomach felt nauseated, his eyes burned with tears and it was all he could do to keep himself standing up right… This could not be happening, this was not happening, there was no way….

He looked down at his t-shirt and swallowed hard, his brothers blood still soaking his clothing, bright and red against the white cotton fabric… a blatant reminder that this really was real, this really was happening…

Dean had been behind those damn doors for over 8 hours now, in surgery fighting for his life, and all Sam could do was pace, pace the damn waiting room helplessly and wait for someone anyone to come out and tell him if his brother was even still alive, if he was going to be alright…

The fear, the thought of Dean not pulling through this was almost unbearable, unimaginable, the two of them had been through, had seen so much… That there was no way he wasn't going to survive right? There was no way he would leave him, not now, not like this…

But the blood, so much blood…

Sam rose to his feet as finally an older man who appeared to be no less than sixty walked toward him, still in the process of removing his hospital garb, Sam was the only one in the whole place at this hour so obviously he belonged to the young man on his operating table.

"You the Family of Johnson son?" He asked kindly, and Sam nodded wearily trying to read the doctor's expression, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, and trying to prepare himself for whatever the hell was going to be said in the next few minutes.

"I-I am. How's my brother doctor?"

The older man could obviously sense the uneasiness and fear radiating from the boy standing before him as he reached out and placed a warm and comforting hand on Sam's shoulder, "We've managed to stabilize him…"

Sam felt as though his heart could finally beat again drawing in a deep and fulfilling breath before releasing it, but when the doctor didn't say anything else when no other words came toward him he felt panic beginning to rise up and rip through his insides…. "But…"

"I think we should sit down.." The man whose name tag read Doctor Reese led them both to two of the empty waiting room chairs and slid into one gesturing for Sam to do the same.

"Wh-what's going on…"

The doctor's eyes were soft and filled with pity, a sign that Sam did not like in the least as he turned to him, "We were able to remove the first bullet clean without any complications, the second though, is embedded into his spinal cord about six inches above his waist… it had fragmented, and I fear that if we remove it the consequences may be worse then we are already anticipating…"

Sam blinked and tried to digest the words coming out of Doctor Reese's mouth, they didn't make sense it was almost as though he were speaking a language that Sam couldn't understand a word of… "What-What are you saying?"

"We won't know how severe until your brother regains consciousness, but Mister Johnson, the impact of the bullets severed your brother's spinal column and with that bullet still inside… "

"He-He's gonna be alright…" Sam's voice was no more than a whisper as he shook his head, "You go in there, you do what you have to do, and you take the other bullet out you stitch him up and- and- and" The world was spinning his head was pounding. This was not happening.

"I'm sorry, that's not how it works, your brother will without question experience Paralysis from the injuries to his spinal cord, how severe however we will not be able to determine until he wakes up… Removing the other bullet , could complicate the situation, and create further problems… I highly advise against it."

Sam just stared blankly at the old man for a long minute before placing his head in his hands and swallowing vomit down that had found it's way into his throat feeling his entire body shaking… "Ca-can I see him?"

"He is being moved currently to the ICU, and as soon as he is in his own room I will have a nurse take you back, it might be a good thing for you to be with him when he wakes up. Doctor Reese rose to his feet and frowned down at the younger man, "I'm sorry son, I wish I had better news for you."

-The next 18 hours went by in a blur as Sam sat patiently by his brothers side waiting for him to fully regain consciousness his only companion the beeping of the heart monitor that was attached to his brothers sleeping form…

Dean would come in and out every few hours, but his mind was so numbed by the cocktail of drugs in his system Sam was lucky if his brother even knew he was there let alone looked at him or gave any implication of coherency .

Sam was watching a the TV on the other side of the room silently unable to find sleep coming to him, not wanting to sleep when his brother's voice finally broke into the quiet room, it was somewhere around five thirty am the fallowing morning.

Dean's eyes opened slowly his head feeling as though he had been hit by a semi as he groaned a little and closed his lids again frowning at the bright florescent light above him, blinding him… He could tell be the smell of antiseptic and the chill in the air exactly where he was. And he didn't like it in the least.

"Your alright…" Sam whispered immediately diverting his attention to his brother and placing a warm hand on top of his, the one of course without the IV protruding from it…

"S-S-Sammy?" Dean's voice was horse his throat dry.

"I'm right here Dean, I'm right here."

Dean's lips curved into a frown as his brother's shaky voice became clearer, and the older Winchester knew he had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Sam swallowed noting the frown on Dean's lips and rising from his chair to take a seat on the edge of his bed gripping his hand a little… "Dean open your eyes man, talk to me…."

Dean did as he was told and slowly opened his eyes his brothers haggard and tired face coming into view sure enough his eyes were still pink from the tears Dean knew he had been shedding. "Sammy I'm O-"

Dean's frown deepened as a tidal wave smacked into him, memories of the last thing he was awake for plowing into him and knocking the air from his lungs his face contorted in confusion and pain and Sam knew it was coming.

Everything hurt, pain wracked his body from his head to his… His legs, his waist… Everything from there felt numb..

"Dean…" He could hear his brothers voice, he could hear the sound of his heart monitor racing, but none of that mattered as he shook his head quickly and fought against his own fatigue and nausea to sit up, he was going to get up he was going to get out of here this was not happening… He felt something pressed firmly against his chest.

Watching As his brother's body shot up Sam felt the tears come once more to his eyes and he placed a forceful hand on his chest to ease him back down.. "DEAN!"

The older man blinked a few times to weak to fight against his brothers strength he allowed himself to fall back limply on the pillow his own eyes beginning to water he looked to Sam for answers… "I-I something it wrong Sam…"

"It's okay," Sam repeated trying to keep his voice as even as calm as he could his eyes looking sympathetically into Dean's. "You were shot Dean, twice… In the back, and the…" Sam swallowed watching as the first tear fell from his heroes eye. "And the uh, the bullets they…"

Against his own numbness and his own pain Dean reached forward and put a hand on his brothers knee watching as he began to crumble mirroring Dean's own insides…

Everything about this felt unreal like a nightmare a horrible and vivid nightmare.

"The bullets severed your spinal cord…. They, they were able to remove the first one, but the second… is lodged and… if they remove… if they remove it then, the consequences, you know they could be worse…"

Dean wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and drew in a deep breath forcing a pained smile to his lips, "Can't uh can't get much worse than this Sammy… Are you telling me, what I think your telling me?"

Sam nodded, the words never once crossing his lips, they couldn't, he couldn't say them, they hurt to much…

Dean shuttered inwardly and shook his head, trying to make sense of everything, "Sam?… Did you call Dad?"

Sam shook his head, the thought as odd as it may seem, had never crossed his mind, his only thoughts in the last eighteen and a half hours had been of his brother, he started to rise to his feet when his brother's grip on his arm stopped him..

"I-I'll go do it right now, I didn't think…"

"NO!" Dean shook his head and drew his lip into his mouth, "No-No he can't know."

"Dean, he's going to find out eventually…"

"No, I-I… Just promise me Sam"

All it took was for Sam to see the pleading sadness in Dean's eyes and his head bobbed slowly in agreement.

"Okay Dean.."

The doctor who had been standing at the door watching the whole series of events unfold chose now to enter the room clipboard in hand and a kind gentle smile on his lips…

Present Day

Sam looked over at his brother once again sitting there wasting away in front of the television, he could tell by the look of disgust on his face that he was not enjoying whatever the hell he had found to stare at this time…. But he would sit there, sit there and stare none the less…

The conversations between the two of them had become so short and so trivial that it pained Sam more than anything else about the situation, each one of them slowly closing off and shutting down for his own reasons.

Sam because of guilt, knowing that this was all his doing, knowing that he blamed himself and that somewhere deep down Dean had to blame him too… It made it hard enough to keep functioning let alone be any resemblance to the man he once was, he never smiled anymore, never laughed… nothing.

And Dean, well Dean was shutting of because he was now worthless, he had failed, failed as a hunter, as a man, as a human being, but more so than anything else he had failed as a brother, his own guilt was knowing at him, how was he going to protect Sam from in this damn chair? What good was he now to anyone? To Sam?

The sound of the phone ringing penetrated the nearly complete silence surrounding the both of them and Sam closed his laptop before rising to his feet… No one had this number here, they didn't give it out, there was no reason to…

They had shut off their cell phones and purposely didn't give this number to anyone anywhere, the Winchester brothers as far as the world was concerned, for the time being, had fallen off of the planet.

The two men shared a worried glance as Sam picked up the receiver Dean muting the TV's volume watching his brother intensely.

"He-Hello?" Sam cleared his throat and waited for a reply on the other end.

Silence.

"Hello? Who is this?" He tried again, he could tell the line wasn't dead from the sound of pool balls rustling in the background.

Dean frowned and took his brake off making his way toward Sam, "Who is it?" He asked even though he was sure from the responses his brother was giving, he didn't have a clue either.

"They aren't saying anything." Sam grunted

"Let me try." Dean reached out for the phone and sighed, "Hey… Who is this…"

No response was given to him either though his brows cocking up in annoyance his voice rose in volume.

"Listen Asshole, the phone is used for talking , so call back when you got something to say." He looked to Sam whose jaw was now nearing the floor and handed him the receiver which he would have slammed down on the cradle could it have been in his immediate reach. "Do the honors little brother."

Sam took the phone and slammed it down on to the hook before glancing back at Dean, "Safe to say they won't be calling again anytime soon."

"Good, they disturbed my programming."

"Very funny…"

"Hey, Family Feud is riveting TV…."

"I'm sure it is." Sam ran a hand over his face, "I need to go to the store for a few things, are you gonna behave, or should I lock you in the closet?"

"Sam I'm a big boy you know."

"Well, just don't do anything stupid alright?"

"Me?" Dean scoffed, "I'm the smart one.."

"Sure you are." Sam fished for the keys to the Impala and headed out the door, he hated leaving Dean there alone, but he knew that if he had drug him along his plans would be foiled and his brother would never agree to any of what he was about to do.

So there you have it, as always thank you for your wonderful replies and please let me know what you think about this chapter as well!