-1Bar Fights & Bullets

Chapter 9

"Dean!" John's voice was thick with concern, "Son… what are you doing…"

Dean's head rose up and his hazel orbs were covered in a hopeful excitement, but also a confused type of fear all in one as he spoke his voice small….

"I can feel it."

Sam froze at the simple phrase that spouted from his brother's lips. Or maybe more so at the look his brother was currently wearing, tears actual tears were in his eyes and for the first time in a long time happiness was written across his face, inscribed there filled with such hope.

John stepped forward as Dean pulled his raw ankle back in preparation to thrust it forward again. "Stop…" He whispered. "Your going to hurt yourself."

"But- I can feel it." The elder son repeated with just as much awe and enthusiasm as he had the first time.

"That'- that's wonderful news alright…" John stepped forward and to the bed leaning down, "But if you do that anymore, your going to break it…" He leaned in a little and took his son's foot in his hands readjusting him on the bed helping him back into it.

"Sammy?" Dean asked clearing his throat noticing his brother's form still frozen in the doorway.

Sam was lost in a world of his own, so many thoughts were currently making their way through his head that he hardly heard his name being spoken. Amazing, Amazing. Dean could feel. He was going to heal. Everything was going to be okay. Sam could feel the guilt slowly slipping from him, the burden that he had sworn to carry for the rest of his life was suddenly significantly lighter… And his brother his brother was smiling…

"Sammy." Dean rose his voice this time snapping his fingers as he did so and breaking through the veil of emotions swimming through his baby brother's mind.

"Huh?" Sam shook himself from his thoughts and closed his mouth which had fallen open in surprise and shock at this whole scenario.

"You alright? You been dipping into my tranquilizers again?"

"Fine… Fine. This is, this is great man. I-I can't believe it this is… Wow."

"Yeah, wow." Dean's grin grew now as he felt his eyelids growing heavier the effects of his nightly drugs becoming harder and harder to fight off.

"I thin it's time we let you rest and we can celebrate some more in the morning." John smirked a little as he pulled the blankets up around his son's body. As he did so he let his eyes roam his son's face for a long minute, there was a smile there, a real smile something john thought he was never going to see again, but something inside of him was still mystified about this whole situation.

Something didn't seem right, it was so sudden, so… Unexpected.

"Dad?" Dean's voice was low and soft, slightly slurred.

"Hmm?"

"I-…." Dean's eyes slid shut and it took a while before they opened again.

John chuckled lightly and patted his son's shoulder, "Sleep Dean." He whispered.

"Damn…Drugs."

"I know." John made his way out of the room and flipped the light switch off Sam fallowing behind him taking note of the look creeping onto his father's face as the older man closed the door behind them.

"Okay, what is it. Your suffering from sour lemon face…"

John shook his head making his way back toward the table and drawing his lip into his mouth, a tell tale sign that any Winchester was contemplating and confused about something.

"Dad, come on now… What is it?"

John hesitated his dark eyes looking to his son, there was just as much if not more hope found in Sammy's eyes as in Dean's and he hated to take that away, to replace it with doubt… But he couldn't figure this out on his own… "It's to fast Sam…" He whispered making extra sure to keep his voice low.

"What?" Sam shook his head a little his brow raising up the same as his brother's always did, it was quite amusing to his father how much his son's really were alike.

"We only started therapy today… Doesn't it seem a little strange to you that after just a few hours…"

Sam took a second to process the thought as it came from his father's lip into his head and nodded slowly, "Maybe- maybe he's just lucky?" His tone had more question in it then fact.

"Yeah, maybe." John sounded very unconvinced.

"Look, dad… Do we really have to look this one in the mouth…"

"What's the first rule of thumb I taught you boys?"

"We do what we do and we shut up about it?"

"No that's the first family rule. Always carry suspicion-"

"Into any battle, nothing is ever as it seems and everything is questionable until proven otherwise to be true." Sam cut him off finishing his statement.

John nodded. "The same rule applies here…"

"This isn't that kind of battle dad…"

"Are you sure about that? You boys seem to be fighting just as hard, if not harder to me."

"Dad-"

"Do you have that doctor's number?"

"Doctor Reese? Yeah, of course."

"Tomorrow I'm going to call him and get Dean in, just to be sure alright?"

"I don't know how Dean's going to feel about that." Sam retorted speaking on his brothers behalf.

"I don't see where it could hurt to know what's going on…"

Sam sighed the doubt his father had placed into his mind causing reason to over shadow hope and bringing a whole new set of emotions to his insides. What if John's intuition was right and this wasn't in fact on the level, all of Dean's hope would be shattered in a matter of seconds, and even though Dean was the strongest man Sam had ever known… He doubted he was strong enough to handle such a devastating blow. "I just…"

"Your worried, I know… I am too, but we need to know, your brother needs to know… False hope is worse then no hope."

"Yeah-" Sam whispered.

"Just try to get some rest alright."

Sam nodded, he knew that sleep would not come to him tonight, but he would try anyway, he needed to be as strong as he could for his brother….

- It was nearly two in the afternoon when the three men were finally making their way into the small doctor's office, much to Dean's dismay. He saw no reason to be there, no reason to look such a gift in the mouth. He knew what he felt, he knew what was happening and no quack was going to tell him different.

"Why are we here again?" His voice was laced with annoyance.

"There's nothing wrong with a check-up now and then." Sam tried to sound as optimistic as he could, just as he suspected he would be he was more tired then he had remembered being in a long time.

"I'm only doing this because you two demand it you know that right? I know what I felt…"

"I know son." John interjected parking him against the far wall and making his way up to the check in window.

"What's with him?" Dean asked looking at Sam for an answer.

"He just wants to make sure is all…"

"There's more to it…" Dean insisted, "I can tell by the look in his eyes."

"Don't worry about it alright, you just try to relax and focus on you for the time being alright?"

"Dancing around the subject…." Dean mumbled, "Yup definitely something going on here."

"What was that?" Sam asked a little to cocky for Dean's liking.

"Nothing." Dean nodded in his father's direction as John reproached his boys.

"He's ready and waiting for us already." He informed leaning down and undoing Dean's break.

"Wow the service one gets in a small town is amazing…" Sam lamely attempted to joke as he opened the door for the other two John pushing Dean through.

"Well hello Mister Johnson." Dr. Reese's voice was just as annoying and sweet as Dean remembered it to be as the older man extended his had and Dean felt obligated to return the favor giving him a half hearted shake.

"How's it goin' doc?"

"Well, my name wasn't in the obituaries this morning so better then some I suppose…"

"Well, that's uh good?"

"Sure is." The doctor smiled in Sam's direction, "Sam nice to see you again.." He turned to the other man standing directly next to Dean's chair, "And you must be John."

John nodded and shook the man's hand, "I am."

"Well it's nice to finally meet the owner of such an amazing pair of boys."

Sam and Dean exchanged glances at that both of them smirking in unison before looking back to the doctor. "So what do you say we get this over with?" Dean spoke up, "I mean I'm grateful and everything to you doc, but your not exactly who I want to be spending my afternoons with."

"Yes, I remember you made that quite clear on your last and only visit to my facility by having yourself checked out far to early… against my wishes."

"Yeah, well. See for yourself everything turned out alright."

"I'll be the judge of that." The doctor smiled and went about the room setting a few things up, "Get up on the table and let's have a look shall we? Your father tells me your had some sensation last night…?"

"Well, I don't know if sensation is the right word… I mean to me sensation is something provided by a woman in-"

"DEAN!" Sam and John both warned as Sam began to remove him from the chair up on to the table.

"Just answer the man's questions son, and leave the banter at home will you?"

Doctor Reese was now studying the three men with quite the amused smirk on his lips.

"Okay, okay yes… I had sensation last night." Dean rolled his eyes a little.

"Well, this could possibly be a step in the right direction." The doctor took a seat on his rolling desk chair and approached the side of the bed where Dean now lay, "We're going to do a CT scan to check the status of the bullet and the nerve damage before we run any further tests and such, I want to see how and if your mending alright?"

"I'm on the mend doctor I can feel it…"

"Well you know what they say… Attitude is everything, so lets just hope your right shall we?"

Dean hated that, the way doctors always spoke in general terms never giving any positive reassurance always staying neutral on every subject from cafeteria food to patient recovery. "Yes we shall…"

"Seems like a nice man." John cleared his throat as the doctor left the room a minute later, Sam now standing by the window looking out in to the courtyard below lost once more in thoughts and wonderment. Trying as hard as he could not to let his hopes get to high about the whole idea of Dean on his way to a real recovery.

"I suppose so." Dean nodded, "You know since he saved my life and all."

"Remind me to add him to our Christmas card list."

"Dad." Dean smirked, "We've never had a Christmas card list."

"Maybe we should start one, and he can be at the top." John let his eyes wonder over to his youngest son and he frowned a little, "Sammy?"

"Hmm?"

"Something of interest down there son?"

"A whole word of unknowing and unsuspecting ignorant civilians?"

"Aside from that." Dean chimed in.

"A half dead rose bush?"

"Oh well, that explains it… carry on then." The older brother smirked a little and gave a small chuckle but let it die on his lips when he was the only one releasing such a happy sound, there fore allowing silence to engulf the whole room.

-Three hours and nine cups of coffee later the three Winchester men were back in the small room awaiting doctor Reese's return with the CT results, each one lost in there own thoughts, each one hoping for the same outcome however…

"I'm going to go see what's taking him so long…" John stood from the small chair where he had been sitting reading an old issue of people magazine. "The test results should have been back by now."

Dean and Sam nodded in unison neither one opening there mouth to respond as they stared blankly at the small television screen in front of them Oprah's voice the only one to be heard as she introduced her guest of the day.

John stepped out into the hallway and exhaled loudly rolling his shoulders back in an attempt to release some of the tension that was building inside of him, his eyes scanning the hall up and down for the grey haired doctor Reese.

"Mister Johnson." John shifted his gaze back to the left a little more at the sound of his 'name' being called. "I was just on my way in to speak with you."

John couldn't help but notice the lack of excitement in the doctor's voice along side a heavy dose of approaching sympathy.

"Oh?"

"Yes.."

"Well maybe we should go inside then, so you can tell us all together?"

The doctor shook his head and placed his hand on the door before John could reopen it, "No, it is better that I talk to just you first…."

John didn't like the sound of that as he nodded, "Okay, well go on…"

"I've been looking over your sons CT results…"

"I figured." John leaned back against the wall crossing his arm's over his chest. "And…?"

"Well, what your son is describing, is as I feared both physically and medically impossible, there has been no nerve reparation, and the bullet is still lodged firmly into his spine…"

"H-how do you explain the sensation then?" John couldn't help but sound defensive, "Dean knows he felt something, and I believe him, if you could of seen the look in his eyes, he was not faking…"

"I believe that your son believes he felt something…"

"Explain please?" John felt his patience growing thin.

- "You hear that?" Dean asked looking in his brother's direction.

Sam listened for a minute and then nodded rubbing his chin. "Voices."

"Can you make out what they are saying?"

"No…" Sam shook his head.

"Well, what are you waiting for boy? Move in and take a closer listen… This is my health we are talking about here…"

Sam sighed but rose to his feet anyway, "I can't wait til your up and moving again so that I can lose the title of whipping boy."

"Your never going to lose that tile." Dean grinned, "Now go."

Sam's shoulder's slumped forward and he stepped to the other side of the room pressing his ear to the wooden door,

"Hear anything?"

"Not if you don't shut up!"

"Oh right sorry…"

"Shh!!!" Sam rolled his eyes highly annoyed and listened carefully the sound of his father and doctor Reese's voice coming through loud and clear

-"I believe your son is suffering from something called Phantom Sensation." The doctor said clearing his throat and watching as John's face immediately read of confusion signaling him to explain a little further. "Phantom sensation, which is most commonly found in amputee's, but is not unknown to paralysis patients as well. Is a condition in which the patient, in this case Dean… Believes that he is experiencing some sort of feeling in an unused or absent limb because his brain and his heart are telling him that he is…"

"So… in short, his mind is playing tricks on him?" John felt his heart beginning to break inside of his chest..

"This is a very real event, your son wants so badly to believe that he is recovering that his mind is creating false feelings…"

"How can you tell?"

"I'll show you." The doctor sighed a little. "I'm sorry but it's as I told your son's before, Dean's chances for a recovery are very slim and his prognosis has changed none since the last, if anything his deterioration is quicker then I had hoped… Has he begun seeing a PT…?"

"We-uh… Sam and I are doing it from home now, we just started it yesterday…"

"I would strongly advise against anyone aside from a highly trained professional.."

- Sam shuttered inwardly and closed his eyes, everything inside of him beginning to break down beginning to crumble, No….NO… Be Strong." He scolded himself as his brother's voice broke through and Sam turned to face him shakily relieved to see his eyes once more fixed on the television and not on him.

"You hear anything…?"

"Uh…." Sam drew in a deep breath trying to buy himself a second or two, lying to Dean was not an easy task . "No…"

"You were standing there frozen for over five minutes, and you heard nothing?" Dean's brow cocked and he studied his brother's form Sam seemed pale, and Dean swore he was shaking. "Sam? What are they saying?"

"I-I told you I can't hear them."

"Yeah, and your full of shit, I can tell just by looking at you that you know something, and that that something is not with the good so come on let's have it…"

"Dean-" Sam's voice cut off as the door opened and John reentered the room fallowed closely by doctor Reese.

"Ah theres the man of the hour how you doin' sport?"

Sport? John hadn't called him sport in quite a long, a very long while something was not with the right in this situation. "I'm alright…." He shifted his eyes to the doctor. "What's the verdict? How long until I'm up and running?"

"There's a few more tests that we need to do alright, the cat scan was inconclusive…"

"Inconclusive?"

The doctor nodded and returned to his rolling chair sliding down to the end of the bed. John purposely stepping into Dean's line of vision so that he could not see anything at the beds bottom including his feet.

"I need you to tell me when you feel me touching you alright?" The doctor removed dean's shoes and socks the red ankle from the previous night was now only slightly pink with what appeared to be a rash.

Sam stepped back and leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest observing.

"This is your high-tech medical examination?"

"Dean, just do as he asks alright?" John pleaded more then demanded.

"Alright alright fine."

"Thank you."

The doctor firmly pressed his palm to Dean's foot holding it there. "Am I touching you?"

Dean nodded and swallowed, "Yeah."

"How about now?" He asked again without moving his hand.

"Yup."

"And now?" The older man's hand slipped from his foot careful not to make the motion to suddenly and tip him off,

"Yeah, wouldn't the test be a little more conclusive if you removed your hand every now and then?"

"Dean…" Sam whispered feeling a tear slide down his cheek as he wiped it away quickly, hard with the back of his hand.

"What?"

"He uh, he's not touching you…." The younger brother cleared his throat swallowing down his own emotion as he stepped closer to the bed ready for any and every reaction his brother might give, well at least pretending to be ready.

"He is!" Dean swallowed looking at his father then down to the doctor, "You were!!!" He scowled, "I-I felt it!"

"No son you didn't." John placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort.

"Dean-" The doctor interjected softly, "Your experiencing what is known as Phantom sensation…"

"NO!" Dean's face drained of it's natural color and was replaced with anger and red, "I FELT IT…."

"Your mind was telling you, you felt it, and you believed that you did…"

Dean shook his head and growled, "SHUT THE HELL UP…"

"Dean" Sam whispered approaching his free side, "Calm down."

"GET OFF ME!" He screamed unable to his own dismay to control the over whelming amount of emotion filling and spilling over inside of him, he knew what he felt he knew what was happening, this wasn't happening, this wasn't right…

He shrugged his father's grip from his shoulder and Sam dared not take another step toward him and before either man could act the small table next to the bed was over turned in a swift and agitated movement.

"DEAN!" John warned. Sam placing his hand over his mouth momentarily to keep from sobbing all the guilt he had felt beginning to release yesterday was now back full force and ravaging his insides.

"Would you like me to administer a sedative?"

"No… just thank you doctor… go." Sam whispered watching as John stepped over the over turned side table and against Dean's wishes began to console and calm his eldest son.

It was weird how everything changed with those few words just as Sam had known they would the walls of hope all three men had unwillingly built up around them, around their family, around what was going to be again… Were crashing down and everything was laying broken and distraught at Sam's feet… Once again he reminded himself that this was all his doing that he had taken a wrecking ball to their lives and destroyed it with a single blow.

So there it is, this has been planned from the get go and it made me feel bad that you all were so hopeful and happy… I hope you weren't to disappointed, if it makes you feel any better John has a plan and it's quite a good one, we just haven't gotten that far yet. Anyway thank you for your wonderful replies to the last chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one just as much. Let me know what you think.