Fearing Death

I woke up to the movement of my body going up and down. I looked up to see Will sleeping; I gave a small smile, which got even bigger thinking of our kiss last night. I gently lifted my head off of his chest to look around the cabin, and I wiped my eyes trying to get the sleep out of my eyes. I looked down at Will who looked like a little child in his sleep, so innocent, and peaceful. A couple strands of hair were in his face and I gently moved them off of his face. I would have been really happy if not a pang of guilt surged throughout my body. Will was married; I mean what is he going to do? Leave Elizabeth for me. No, I had seen his eyes light up when he talked about Elizabeth, he would never leave her. I mean all I am is a bit of fun for him, so he won't get bored while he's on the Dutchmen. My heart sank even lower as I thought all I was, was a play toy. I sighed; this whole marriage/affair thing is a real mood killer. Gently I got off of Will and I managed to get off the bed without him waking up. The only movement from him was he snuggled more into my pillow and blanket. I couldn't help but smile at it, and then I went over to my mirror and fixed myself up. I put my hair in a messy bun, and I kept the clothes I had been changed into last night and I snuck up to the deck. Instead of just going to the railing like I usually did I walked around the ship, a lot. Now I was on my 7th time around the ship when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Emily, wait up." I inwardly cringed at the voice, not that I didn't like the owner of the voice, it's just I don't want to talk. I slowed down and waited for Will to catch up with me.

"Hello, I didn't see you this morning." He asked as he finally came over.

"Oh I um…needed some fresh air." Fresh air? What happened to the fiercest female pirate ever? Will has softened me, curse him. Well don't actually curse him, I'm not that cruel.

"Are you alright?" He asked putting one of his hands on my forehead to check if I was hot. I shrugged his hand off and laughed at him.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just needed to think." I said as we started walking around the ship.

"About what?" Will asked curiously.

"You're a nosy man Mr. Turner." I said teasingly.

"I resent that Miss James." He fired back. We laughed as Will put his arm around my should while I leaned into him, what can I say he's intoxicating. We walked by the anchor and I couldn't help but laugh at my sad attempt of a hiding spot.

"What are you laughing at?" I just shook my head as he gave me an odd look, but we kept up with our walk.

"So why are we walking?"

"Because I want to, besides you can leave whenever you want to Will." I said as we past Bootstrap who gave an us a look, but I don't think Will noticed.

"I don't want to leave, I was just wondering why we're walking. Oh yeah guess what I learned?" He asked excitedly, I rolled my eyes and asked.

"What Will?"

"An interesting fact about being the Dutchmen." That sparked an interest in me and I asked when he didn't continue.

"Continue." I said with a shake of my head while he chuckled.

"Well if the Dutchmen is unable to ask people the question, then the first mate can do it."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, I was surprised when I read it. I went to my Father and he said that he knew it, he thought I knew it."

"So like it means if you're too busy your father can do it?" I asked not fully getting what he said. He nodded.

"Hmm, you should be careful that your Father doesn't try to take over your duties." We both laughed.

"Very funny Emily." He said sarcastically.

"Thank you, I pride myself on being humorous." I said as I slipped one of my arms around his back, he looked down and gave me a small smile as we continued on our endless walk. The ship rocked gently again and we both groaned.

"Couldn't we just kill that thing?" I asked as we took seats on a couple of crates.

"Yeah if you figure out how tell me." I mock saluted him and said.

"Sir yes sir." I yelled while he laughed, and causing me to join in. He laughed so hard he almost fell of his crate.

"Emily you know why I love being with you?" He asked after a couple moments of silence. I shrugged no and he answered.

"Because you are always making me laugh, and you make me feel good about myself. I don't think I've laughed as much in my life as I have laughed with you these two and a half months."

"Dang it, I thought you were going to say you love being with me for my sexiness." Before I could finish my sentence I had already started laughing while Will raised his eyebrow way up.

"That too." He leaned over and gave me a small kiss on my cheek. My skin felt all tingly, until I saw Bootstrap glaring over at us. All my happiness was gone as I knew that I had to talk to Will about us.

"Will you and I need to talk." He looked confused but he nodded and he followed me to the library where we had been yesterday. We took our seats in two leather chairs, and he asked.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked looking at me concerned.

"About us."

"Us?" He asked confused. I nodded and said.

"What are we? I mean we can't be anything." I said looking down. Will sighed and said.

"I've been thinking about it to. I mean I am married to Elizabeth, but I can't help but have feelings for you."

"Maybe you only did because you haven't had any female contact in almost ten years and I am the only woman here." I whispered to the ground. I could tell he was glaring at me.

"Do you really think I would do that? Is that what you really think of me?" He asked in a hurt tone. I looked up and I regretted saying what I did, because the look on Will's face was enough to haunt me for the rest of my life. I grabbed one of his hands and said.

"No, it was stupid what I said, but I don't know what to think of all of this." I said hoping he would believe me he looked into my eyes and I could have melted on the spot. He stood up and started pacing putting his hand thorough his hair every once in awhile.

"Emily I don't know what we have, but I know that you make me really happy. And I don't want to lose that." He said coming over to me he knelled down so our faces were at the same level.

"I don't want to give you up either, but this is wrong." I said as he gently stroked my cheek. He nodded and said.

"I think we should just leave things as they are, and see what happens." I looked up at him in shock but nonetheless I nodded my head. I knew I would never be able to give Will up; he was to big a part of me now. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up and then he embraced me, I returned it as soon as his hands were around waist. I never wanted to let go, because letting go would bring us back to reality, something we both weren't ready to face. Finally though he let go and he looked at me, and said.

"We should probably head back up deck." I nodded, as we were walking up the stairs I asked.

"So where are we heading now?" I asked excitedly.

"The Caribbean." He said with a smile that got bigger as I squealed.

"You know for the fiercest female pirate ever you sure are a softie." I playfully hit him on his chest.

"Ow." He said as he put a hand to his chest in mock hurt.

"I still am the fiercest female pirate ever." I looked around quickly to make sure no one else was around, and once I was sure we were alone I grabbed his collar so his face was only inches away from mine.

"And you better not forget it." I whispered before giving him a small kiss. And once I let go I continued walking while Will still stood there in shock of what just happened. I couldn't help but laugh as I saw his expression when I turned around. When he saw that he started chasing me down the hallway as I ran off trying to run from him, I had just turned a corner when I ran into something hard. I looked up to see Bootstrap looking down at me hard. I hesitantly back away, sadly Will then ran around the corner running into me pushing me forward into Bootstrap who fell backward, causing all of us to end in a heap of the floor.

"Sorry Father." Will said as he stood up and offered me his hand, which I gladly took, and he hoisted me up. Bootstrap got up on his own and asked not too nicely.

"And where have ye two been?"

"Library." We answered at the same time, causing blushes from both of us. Bootstrap only shrugged and continued on down the hallway.

"I think he's mad." I said after I heard a door clam. Will only shrugged and said.

"He'll get over it now c'mon; the crew's waiting for us. We walked up to the deck and started doing our jobs. They day went quickly for me, I was excided that we were heading back to the Caribbean, I missed it. After lunch the crew hung out for a while and when dinner came around we celebrated Lenny's birthday, which meant everyone was getting drunk, except Will, who remembered last time and decided drinking would be a bad idea for him. So I drank for the both of us. By the end of the night I was so drunk I couldn't even stand, any more so Will was carrying me to my room.

"You really are drunk." Will said as he got us into my room. I giggled loudly for along time while he set me down. Once me feet hit the ground I stumbled around my room landing on the floor with a thump. I laughed and said,

"That was fun, let's do it again!" I said as he helped me up, he rolled his eyes and said sternly.

"No, you've got to go to bed." I pouted and stuck my tongue at him.

"What are you three?" He asked amused as he pushed me down onto the bed.

"I bet you think I'm cute." I said as he kept trying to take my shoes but I kept moving my feet, making it harder for him. I laughed as he groaned in frustration.

"I hate it when you're drunk."

"Well I don't." I said as I clapped happily.

"Emily!" He yelled as I moved my foot again. I sighed and kept them still as he took my shoes off.

"That's better, thank you." I shrugged and as he was leaning over me I played with a strand of his hair.

"You have good…good hair, yeah that's it hair. You've got good hair." He laughed at my silliness.

"This reminds me of our first kelp…no knee….no that's no it. Kis…"

"Kiss?" Will asked confused.

"Yes kiss, that reminds me of our first kiss." I said happy that I figured out the mystery word.

"How does that remind of you of are first kiss."

"Because our first kiss you were drunk, like me, except I think I'm worst. Yep I'm worst, cool." I said as I snuggled into my pillow.

"Our first kiss was when I was drunk, why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know something to do with your wife." I said sleepily.

"What do you mean?" He questioned me.

"You'll have to figure it out later Romeo." Then everything went black as sleep claimed me. BANG BANG. I fell out of my bed and onto the floor with my blanket around me tightly. I instantly put my hands to my ears as the banging ceased to stop, seeing no other way for it to stop I swaggered to the door and opened it to see Will standing there not looking happy.

"Hi Will what's up?" I asked as he pushed his way into my room.

"I need to talk to you." He said in a serious voice.

"Ok, but can we do it later I'm not feeling good." I said as I laid back down on my bed.

"No, we can not." He said loudly causing me to wince with pain.

"Can you not do that please?" I asked pouting; trying to wonder what I had did last night, because I don't remember.

"I can't believe you lied to me?" I looked up at hi surprised and said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Our first kiss wasn't in here was it?" He asked darkly. How did he figure that out?

"How did you figure that out?"

"You told me last night, along with some other interesting things, that I don't think you would want to hear." He's probably was right.

"Why did you lie?" He asked as he sat on the edge of my bed.

"I didn't think you would want to know, I mean you were drunk." I said while looking down. He sighed angrily before standing up and said.

"Well this is just great; I can't even look at you right now." I looked up at him hurt but he just stormed out of my room slamming the door behind him. I clutched my ears which were ringing out in pain. I laid back down on my bed and wallowed in self pity.

(Please R and R! I do not own Pirates.)