-1Bar Fights and Bullets

Chapter 13

The next 24 plus hours went by relatively quiet aside from idle conversation, there was not much to be said after all… The plan had been made John was going to attempt to save the day once again… Attempt tp save his son from the grim reality suddenly placed so heavily upon him.

Dean found himself drifting in and out of hopeful thoughts, after each one would appear he would quickly dismiss it and reprimand himself for such foolish and idiotic thoughts, he was not some naïve optimist, he was a realist, and he was not going to allow himself to believe something that he thought to be a one in a million chance.

Sam though, Sam had a different perspective on the situation, and every time Dean met his gaze, every time he looked at him, for the first time since the 'accident' there was happiness, happiness and hope inside of him. Dean admired, envied and hated that about his baby brother all in one. How he could believe so much in something, how he could have so much faith in the impossible, so innocent…

- "It's time to go…" John cleared his throat knocking on the back bedroom door his son's were currently occupying before pushing it open just a crack and sticking his head in.

Dean was freshly showered, shaved and dressed wearing a pair of blue jeans a red button up shirt and of course his signature trademark brown leather jacket. The eldest son nodded in response looking toward the small adjoining bathroom where Sam was finishing up getting himself ready. "Sammy… You ready?"

"Yup." Sam flipped the light off and exit wearing his own version of his brothers outfit. Jeans and a white tee under a blue and white plaid button up shirt.

John looked from one son to the other and shook his head with a small grin, they would never in a thousand years admit it, but his boys were more alike then most twins some days. "Well then lets get a move on shall we?"

"Yes sir." Both boys answered in unison before Sam took his spot behind his brother and began pushing him out into the front of the house.

The ride to Dr. Siere's office was not as far or as long as Dean had hoped as he glanced toward his father in the drivers seat of HIS Impala, Sam once more riding in the back seat. Caleb next to him.

They pulled up to the small rundown office building and Dean's brow rose up in suspicion, "Are you sure he is a healer and not a dealer???"

"Hilarious." John shook his head taking the keys out of the ignition and climbing out of the car, "He's not your everyday doctor, and he refuses to accept money for his services…"

"Are you kidding me?" Dean scoffed, "If this guy can do as he claims he can, then he needs to cash in on the big bucks."

"Not everything is about money Dean." Sam retorted as he leaned in and got his brother from the car and into his chair. "There are still good people in this world you know?"

"Says you…"

Caleb shook his head looking over at John, "I see they still bicker like thirteen year old girls."

"Some things are never going to change." John jogged ahead and opened the door for the others to enter first.

Sam noticed the tension in his brothers form and stopped before going in leaning down over the back of the chair and mumbling, "You alright?"

Dean nodded not trusting his own voice to speak, the truth of course being the farthest thing from a simple nod as he felt a chill run through his entire body a feeling of uneasiness settling itself deep into his soul… What he was about to face, where he was about to venture had installed a fear into him unlike any he had felt before…. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of… for once in his life… The unknown.

Sam knew that his brother was full of it, but said nothing as he straightened his posture and pushed him the rest of the way inside.

The small of Sage and Rosemary was strong enough to choke a horse as they entered into the small house like office, candles the only light to be found, the white walls were bathed in their orange luminance glow.

"Spooky." Dean whispered looking at the pictures of angelic figures and naked women along the walls… "And strangely erotic."

"Only you would think about sex in a place like this…." Sam grunted

"No… Only you wouldn't think about sex in a place like this…" Dean corrected finishing his statement just in time as a tall dark skinned, obviously Indian man came around the hallway, he was older somewhere around 70 or so Dean would guess, and like most Indians that Dean had met through out his life his hair was a dark silver and longer then most females.

"Winchester?" He asked, his voice was gruff yet soothing, and in that one single word Dean could hear the knowledge this man must possess.

Caleb nodded, "Yes sir, I'm the one who spoke to you in the phone, Caleb."

The Indian however paid little attention to anyone in the room, anyone that was aside from Dean as he took a few more steps toward the wheelchair bound man and knelt down a little cocking his head to the side.

Dean nearly froze in awe as he got a good look at the man's face now only centimeters from his own, he had lines of age across his leather like flesh, lines that told stories he was sure, his lips were thin and slightly parted, but his eyes, his eyes were the most amazing eyes Dean had ever seen, so dark and so deep, he nearly found himself drowning in them, without a word they said so much…. They were like small orbs of abyss that went on forever and ever and yet they held so much peace so much understanding. A new chill was now creeping into Dean's blood.

"Pain." Dr. Siere whispered, "So much pain and darkness you hold inside."

Sam's jaw opened as he waited for his brother to snap back with some wise crack of a response but when none came, when not a sound was uttered the youngest Winchester's jaw went from open to hitting the floor as he took a step back.

It was only then that the man looked up and gave acknowledgement to John and Caleb with a nod of his head, "You may wait out here, we will not be long."

"I want to-"

The doctor shook his head in Sam's direction, "The protection you've given him ends here, this is your brothers fight… You will wait here."

Sam swallowed down a snippy reply and took even another step back this time closer to his father.

Dean blinked a few times rapidly as if to wake himself from some sort of trance and looked to his brother, "It's okay Sam, I can handle this on my own, you stay here…"

Sam's face contorted a little, this coming from the man who only minutes before didn't want to even step foot in well… wheel in this place? "Okay."

"I hope this works." John whispered to no one in particular as he watched his son disappear down the hallway fallowed very closely behind by the six foot plus Indian witch doctor.

- The hallway was a mirror image of the small front room candles lighting the way bathing the walls, framed pictures along them depicting figures Dean knew represented strength, inner peace and serenity. As he distanced himself further and further from his family in the front room he found himself fighting to hold on to his rough and indifferent interior emotions… Wanting to be strong wanting to fight against hope….

The room he was lead into was small, not quite closet size but close to, there was a bed in it's center, more candles, flowers, herb pots burning in almost every corner and a giant crucifix hanging on the right wall…

Dr. Siere closed the door locking the two of them inside and the rest of the world out before turning to face his young tormented patient, his deep black eyes softening only a little as he looked down at… Into him, "You question the strength of healing." He stated rather then asked.

Dean opened his mouth to reply but was unable to before the elder man spoke again.

"That is alright, your heart believes… You fight it because you always fight… Your life is a battle and you fear losing it."

Dean exhaled a breath long and relieving. A breath he hadn't even realized he was holding in until it escaped his lips.

"A true warrior." Dr. Siere Leaned down and lifted Dean's broken body from the chair with ease placing him on the table. His touch was warm and electrifying the spots where his fingers touched coursing with heat and a comfort Dean had never experienced before. "Your pain is inside… Your body is not all that is broken and there is no band-aid to repair your wounds… They run deep and sting hard no matter how far down you push them."

"Listen doc-"

"Remove your clothes."

"What?" Dean blinked.

"Remove them."

Dean frowned and thought about protesting such a ridiculous request but his inner voice told him this was not a man to butt heads with and so he drew his lip into his mouth and did as he was told stripping off his clothes until he was down to only his boxers and dropping them in a heap on the floor.

"Good." The doctor nodded pleased with this and stepped forward once more easing Dean down on to his stomach before he began to speak again, "This body is your vessel," He ran his fingers over each and every scar on the younger mans back, "It tells your story better then your mouth ever could." He stopped on the large relatively newer scar, obviously the bullets point of entrance and ran his fingers over it carefully…

Dean drew his lip into his mouth swearing that he felt heat against his spine, a sensation he thought long since dead.

"But to heal ones vessel we must first heal ones mind, the pain and anger that you hold inside cripples you beyond repair." The older man drew his hand back from Dean's flesh and picked up a few small stones from a small bowl besides the bed placing them along the scarred skin in front of him.

"You must face these demons as you have faced so many before them, and you must defeat them." He took a step closer to Dean's face and placed a hand on his head closing his eyes as Dean had seen done so many times before in the movies…

But this, this was no movie… The younger mans eyes snapped closed and he drew in a deep aching breath fallowed quickly by several short ones… He fought and he fought to keep them down to keep them inside but he was not strong enough as images…. Memories flooded his mind in an instant.

"Do not fight them, let them come, let them heal we must face our darkest fears….."

He's four years old again, he's running as fast as he can, the heat against his flesh burning the sound of his baby brother crying in his arms ringing through his ears as he clutches tighter to him and fights his own tears to sooth the distraught infant in his time of need… "It's okay Sammy, your safe now…. I've got you… Shhh.." He bursts through the front door to his child hood home and out into the open air taking in a deep much needed breath and turning around to see everything he knew, every thing that once was his burning before his eyes… He clutches tightly to the still screaming baby, his baby, in his arms, that is all that he knows to do now… He is helpless.

It's raining, pouring as they stand amongst miles of headstones, lost loved ones of strangers surrounding them as Dean listens to a man dressed in a black robe speaking about god in front of him, talking about his mother, Mary and how good of a woman she was, how she is in heaven now… Dean was young but he knew what heaven meant, it meant that he would never see his mother again, that she was gone to a place to far for him to travel.

Tears welled in his eyes as he watched an empty casket being lowered into the ground, he knew it was empty because he heard his father talking to someone, his mother had no body, she was gone, stolen from him, a concept he did not understand….

He felt the warmth of his tears spilling over his cheeks mixing with the cool rain against his flesh and he fought to stop them, he thought about his mother and the angels she had told him about so many times before, and how she was with them now and not with him… He leans down and scoops up his brother into his arms holding him to his chest, the only part of his mommy he has left in this world… He cradles him, the only thing he knows how to do now….. He is helpless…..

Sam is nearly 18, the years have flown by and he has raised his brother into quite a young man, Dean is beginning to forget parts of his mother and her memory, but as he looks at him now, his bags packed and ready to go…. He can still see her inside of him, so much of her that there is a tinge of Jealousy inside of him….

Sam is leaving today, to better himself and his life, something that Dean was never going to have the chance to do, Dean's life was the hunt, the crusade to find his mothers killer… nothing more and nothing less…

He steps in closer to his brother and puts a hand out, he knows that this is the right thing for Sammy, he knows that this is the right thing for all of them, but the pain is still thick and deep inside his soul. "You take care of yourself out there…" His voice is a hallow echo of what it used to be, as he says goodbye to the most important thing in his life.

Sam's hand is warm, even as there is a slight tremble to his flesh as he nods, and Dean holds it, cradles it as he shakes it, just as he had done so many years before to his baby brother… There is nothing else he can do….. He is helpless.

He presses his foot to the floor, the engine revving beneath him, he needs to get to Sam, he needs to save his father, the message from his voice mail playing over and over in his head… They were all in trouble, something was happening…. He needed to get to Sam….

Without Sam he was alone…. Without Sam he was helpless…..

Fear, fear was engulfing him as he stood in the house where he had spent his childhood days before watching flames and demons take it out from under him, Fear coursed hard through his veins his hands shaking as he aimed a gun loaded with rock salt at an approaching figure, his brother's voice barely audible….

"Dean Don't…" Sam begs still being held against the cupboard,

"What? why?"

"Because… I know who it is… I can see her now." The words echo like daggers through Dean's mind as his mother's face comes into view she moves in closer to him, and he can see her, he can feel her before him…

The ecstasy of this reunion is only seconds long, and Dean's insides scream for forever, for her to stay with him, to be there like she was before…. But he says nothing and soon she is gone… And he is helpless…

Sam is missing… Dean is helpless…

Sam loses Jess…. Dean is helpless…

Dad is missing…. Dean is helpless.

They are once again outside the bar, the piercing of the bullet against his flesh, the cold tingle of death whispering in his ear…. He can feel it washing over him, voiding his insides of life… His brother's voice is fading…. The warmth of his embrace growing cold,…. The darkness is coming…

Dean is dying…. And Dean is helpless….

Sam is alone, Sam is unprotected, Sam is afraid, Sam can't go on…. And Dean is helpless….

Dean has failed

Dean's entire body jumped as his eyes opened again and he found sweat bathing his nearly naked flesh, his heart was pounding as it ached and he blinked back tears feeling the doctor s hand slip from his forehead. "Wh-what the hell did you do to me???"

"The poison…We must first draw out the poison."

Dean swallowed repeatedly even with the sweat raining off of him his mouth was dryer then the desert as he looked up at the doctor in amazement, awe, and a little fear.

"You hold tightly to these emotions, these pains and you refuse to let them go, therefore refusing to move forward, you do not strive for yourself Dean Winchester, you fight for the pain."

"Can- Can you just fix me?" he fought the nausea in his stomach rising

Dr. Siere's frown deepened, "You think that this is some miracle? I draw the bullet from your body, but it is only you who can mend your soul and step into the light…"

Dean grunted the belief and the hope he had begun to carry were dwindling back into the reality of it all…

A low mumbled chant began to spill from the doctors lips as he removed the stones from Dean's back and ran his fingers once more along the deep bullet scar; his voice growing louder and louder with each passing moment, words spoken in tongue that Dean knew he would never understand….

Like a flash of lightening, a bolt to his brain, Dean screamed loud and painful burying his head into the pillow, something… some thing was definitely happening here, but Dean was not sure exactly what that some thing was. An ache, a pain, a pull against his body… The heat of the doctor's fingers now a deep scorching burn ..

And then blackness, welcoming unconsciousness like a punch to his head, Dean was out cold.

The doctor Pulls a sheet from the closet and covered the young man placing a hand once more on his head and whispering a silent prayer for peace and recovery from demons unseen to the naked eye.

Before exiting the room and heading out to find the young souls family.

So there you have it, I hope you liked it… Did it work, did it fail? Is this the band john had been searching for? One thing is for sure no road traveled by the Winchesters is ever without bumps… so keep that in mind ;). I thank you so much for your replies to the last chapter and I hope you liked this one just as much… remember to be honest.