-1Bar Fights & Bullets
Chapter 16
Sam opened his eyes slowly the next morning with a yawn before glancing over at the clock and frowning to himself the bright red numbers reading 11:46. How the hell had he managed to sleep in so long? Why hadn't he heard Dean's alarm? Dean was going to be pissed at him for being so lazy.
Climbing out of bed he threw on the same t-shirt and jeans he had been wearing the pervious night and ran a hand though his disheveled bed head before making his way out into the front of the small apartment.
"Morning sleepy head." His father greeted him from where he sat at the kitchen table filling out a few more fraudulent credit card applications. "Or should I say afternoon?"
"Funny." Sam mumbled glancing around as he made his way over to the coffee pot. "Where's Dean?"
"I checked on him about an hour ago, he's still out cold… I guess you boys just needed some rest and all with the way you've been working your bodies to the bone."
Sam cocked his head a little confused, Dean never slept this late. Pouring himself a cup of now only luke warm coffee he took a long drink before setting it down and heading toward his brother's room.
He knocked a little before pushing it open. "Come on sleeping beauty time to rise and-" He let his voice die off noticing that his brother was already awake, and only when Sam began to enter had closed his eyes quickly. "Dean?" The younger man made his way over to the bed and crouched down a little, "Come on man I saw you, I know your awake, it's time to get up we got work to do…"
Dean cursed inwardly to himself and opened one with a grunt, "don't want to."
"Well that's to bad isn't it?!" Sam shot back before heading to the corner of the room to get the wheelchair ready.
"No," Dean opened his other eye now and glared at his brother from where he lay, "Let me rephrase that for you, I'm not going to."
Sam frowned and exhaled loudly making sure his brother could hear the annoyance in his gesture as he turned around to face him, "Why not?"
"Just don't feel like it." Dean shrugged trying to sound indifferent about the whole situation as he shifted his head to look out the window.
"That's not an answer Dean."
"Well it's the only one your getting from me."
Sam headed back toward the bed, taking a seat on it's edge he ran a hand over his face and took in a deep breath trying to gather up every ounce of patience he could. "Look man, I know your tired alright? I know you want this to go faster, but we're making progress, you just need to-"
"What Sam? Give it more time? I don't think so I'm not doing it anymore!"
"So what then?" Sam's nostrils flared and he grunted rising up from where he had just sat down, "You're just gonna give up?"
"Yeah." Dean scoffed, "Looks like."
"No.." the nearly irate man shook his head pulling the blanket off of his brother in one quick movement and dropping it to the floor. "I won't allow it, your so damn close there is no way I'm letting you give up now!"
"I'm not getting out of this bad Sammy, no matter how hard you try to force."
"Yes. You are."
"No. I'm not."
"Yes." Sam grunted leaning down and beginning to lift the defiant figure from the bed. "You are!"
"PUT ME DOWN!" Dean growled his voice low as he grabbed on to the headboard and held it fast in his grip knowing that his strength was twice that of his little brother.
"LET GO DEAN!"
"NO! PUT ME DOWN!"
Sam kept his feet firmly planted against the carpet and tugged heavily trying to get his brother's grip to loosen and falter, but after a minute or two he released his hold and slammed Dean's body back into the bed. "FINE!" He growled his voice lower then Dean had ever heard it before, "you, wanna lay in here and rot?!?! You wanna give up? Then that's on you! I'm done with this!"
The younger man could feel tears beginning to form in his eyes as he took a step back, tears of frustration, tears of anger, and he refused to let them surface, refused to show Dean any amount of weakness.
"Sammy…" Dean tried but cut himself off, he could see the shaking in his brothers hands, the anguish in his face, and there was nothing he could say to that, no retort that was going to fix it.
Sam put his hands up in the air, "I'm done Dean…" He whispered his voice trembling as he turned and left never once looking over his shoulder, without another word he closed the door behind himself and left Dean alone, just as the tortured man had wanted to be, alone and with no one, alone and scared.
John had heard the commotion coming from his eldest son's room, and when only Sam emerged he frowned to himself and stood from his spot at the table making his way to where his youngest stood, eyes pink hands still shaking, face defeated. "Sammy? What the hell was that about?"
Sam slumped back against the wall and shook his head wiping at his mouth and then his chin trying to calm his nerves. "He won't come out." He stated his voice flat and void even though his features were spilling over with emotion.
"What? What do you mean he won't come out? Is there something wrong? Is he sick?"
"No." The younger man shook his head clearing his throat, "Not sick, just stubborn."
"He's just-"
"No more excuses dad alright?!? I can't take them anymore! I can't take any of this anymore! That doctor says I have to be strong that I have to be there for him! I have to push him! I- ME! But I can't! How…" Sam drew in a breath ignoring the look of concern now peering at him through his fathers eyes. "How can I help him?!? How can I pull him through this when he won't even get the hell out of bed?!?!"
John's frown only deepened as his son's emotions poured so freely from trembling lips, he wanted to comfort him, he needed to comfort him, but he didn't know what to say, there was nothing he could say, Sam's emotions were more then justified, he had been trying, pushing so hard, that finally he was at his breaking point, and John couldn't blame him.
"I just…" Sam continued after a moment noticing that his father had not responded with a single word the older man's expression only growing more and more worried. "I don't know what to do dad… Tell me what to do…"
John reached out and placed a hand on his son's shoulder gently pushing him aside, "I'll handle this.." He whispered stepping around him and into Dean's room.
Dean frowned watching as his door open again, he had heard every word that had been said outside his door, every painful thing his brother had said that stung him worse then anything else ever could. He didn't mean to lash out, he didn't mean to be such an asshole, but the truth was he just couldn't… He couldn't do this anymore, he didn't want to get out of bed, deep down he knew he was a failure, and he knew that he was never going to be anything else again… So why waste his time? Why waste Sam's time?
John didn't even bother to close the door behind himself as he stepped in and stood directly at the bottom of his son's bed arms crossed in judgment and disapproval. "You want to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours?!?!"
"No. Not Really?" Dean could tell by the tone of his dad's voice that this was not the time for his sarcasm or stupid jokes.
John's glare said it all as the air between them fell deafeningly silent.
"I just don't wanna do this anymore dad alright?" Dean grumbled after a moment shifting uncomfortably under his father's interrogating stare.
"I don't care what you want anymore, your brother and I are both done babying you Dean, this has gone on long enough, now your going to get the hell out of this bed and be the man that I know you are."
"Dad I just-"
"No son of mine is going to give up do you hear me?"
"I jus-"
"You just what." John scowled, "You just decided to take out your anger and frustrations on the only person whose stood by you this whole time, you just decided that it was on your list of things to do today to step all over your brother like hes some yard sale door mat?!?! You just what Dean?"
Dean fell silent.
"Now your brother and I are going to make some breakfast, get yourself out of that bed and into your chair and I want you ready to work in no more then an hour…. That's an order." John grabbed the wheel chair by it's handle and thrust it down heard next to the bed. Causing Dean to jump just a little at the noise it made.
"yes sir." He replied knowing that that was the only acceptable answer to any and all orders that came from his father's mouth.
As he heard the soft click of the door, once more signaling that he was alone Dean let his shoulders slump a little, why did they keep doing this to him? Keep pushing him? Why didn't they just let him do as he damn well pleased?
He glanced over at the chair now directly next to him and snarled at it a deep low growl irrupting from his throat. "Piece of shit." He spat out under his breath as he slowly sat up and balanced himself on his hands and lifting himself into his own chair a feat that in it's self zapped him of a lot of his energy. Making his way to the closet he pulled down one of his many solid grey shirts and threw it on, he thought momentarily about changing out of his sweatpants, but knowing the details that entailed dismissed the idea.
Popping his neck from side to side he made his way over to the door and drew in a deep breath, he did not want to do this, he did not want to face Sam, not after the things he had said, the things he had done, he had acted like no more then a child, thrown another little boy fit and he had hurt his brother in the process….
No matter how much he didn't feel like pushing himself, he never, never should of taken it out on Sam, never should of broken Sam's hopes and dreams like he did….
Exhaling he pushed the door open and made his way out toward the kitchen, John was just finishing setting out some eggs and toast and Sam was leaning against the far counter sipping on his coffee studying the tiles beneath his feet as he did so. Dean cleared his throat and scratched his shoulder nervously eyeing his brother.
"Hey." Sam shifted from one foot to the other looking up almost timidly, "You uh want some coffee?"
Dean nodded clearing his throat for the second time, this whole apology thing was a lot harder then it looked, especially when your name was Dean Winchester. "Yeah… Yeah, that would be great." He paused and moved further into the kitchen, "You know what though? I can get it…"
"No, no that's alright…" Sam shook his head already making his way back to the coffee put cup in hand, "I got it…"
"Sam…" Dean swallowed still feeling the tension between them still very strongly on his shoulders. "Listen I uh…."
"I know…" Sam cut him off sensing the clenching of his brothers word in his attempted apology as he reached down to hand him his coffee. "Don't worry about it alright?"
- Sam was sitting on his knees in his usual spot placed down at his brothers feet Dean's foot in his hands as he rubbed the bottom of his foot forcefully pressing against his arch with his thumb, "Feel anything?"
Dean shook his head wiping a few beads of sweat from his forehead, "No…" He whispered trying his best to keep optimism in his words, trying to match the look of hope in his brother's eyes…
"That's okay…."
"Yeah…"
Pressing his whole palm now against the bottom of Dean's foot the younger Winchester flexed his fingers against each toe before relaxing them a little, "Push…. Try to push Dean…."
"I Can't…"
"Yes you can…" His voice was reassuring, "Take a deep breath, and push Dean."
The other man grunted involuntarily before sighing and relaxing his body, "I can't" He repeated again through clenched teeth.
"Yes you can." came another confidence filled retort.
John put the last dish into the dish drainer purposely leaving the water running as he stepped around and watched his boys in the front room a confident smile pressing on his lips as he nodded his head, it was amazing how much they had grown up, how independent they were…..
"Sam please…"
"I know you can do this…just try…"
"I-…" Dean closed his eyes and drew in another deep lung filling breath holding it in until he felt as though his lungs were going to burst before letting it out, telling… begging his toes to move, to reassure not only his baby brother but himself that they were actually getting somewhere…
Sam stared intensely at the foot pressed against his hand, silently praying that today, now be the moment they had been striving toward… That god where ever he might be was listening and gave all of them the push they needed to continue with this journey…
Seconds later Sam's eyes went wide, as he drew in a deep breath himself feeling a small fidget against the lower fleshy part of his index finger fallowed seconds later by another small movement against the same spot, happiness over taking him so quickly and so fully that a grin spread like a fast moving virus across his face.
"Sam I ju-"
"DEAN!" He cut his brother off in mid-statement.
"What?!" Dean's eyes shot open and he looked down toward his lower half panting for breath at this point… John making his way hurriedly from the kitchen.
"You-You did it…. Did you feel that? Your toe it…it moved…"
"It did?!?!" Dean's voice sounded as surprised as the look in his brother's eyes read.
"Can you do it again?" Both boys shifted their heads to see their father approaching crouching down somewhere near Dean's head and placing a hand on his son's shoulder.
"I-I don't know…" Dean swallowed looking down at his toes, not wanting to close his eyes, wanting to stare and to see, wanting to believe… "I don't… I don't think I felt it before….I just…"
"Concentrate." Sam instructed with a nod of his head, "One more time, and then we can stop for the day alright?"
Dean brought himself up onto his elbows to get a better look his father's hand still pressed comfortingly to his shoulder as he nodded.
The next twenty three and a half seconds passed like days as all three men sat in silence their eyes staring down at Dean's feet.
And then there, there it was again, Dean's big toe jerked slightly against Sam's hand not once but twice before resting flat again.
"D-Did you feel that?" Sam was currently resisting the urge to jump up and down and invent his own happy dance as he looked up at his brother relieved and elated to find a smile on his lips, his eyes twinkling with what Sam guess to be self satisfaction?
Dean nodded a little this time his entire body and mind completely over come with exhaustion as he felt his father squeeze his shoulder.
"Good son. Very good." And John realized that for the second time in less then two weeks tears of happiness were filling his eyes as his voice wavered. "You should rest now, don't push yourself."
Alright so there it is my lovelies I hope you like it and I look forward to hearing what you have to say, the good and the bad. Thank you so much for your support with this story and the last chapter.