-1Bar Fights and Bullets

Chapter 18

The next morning as Sam opened the door to his brother's room, expecting to find him fast asleep, he smiled to himself and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame. Dean was already awake, the older man laying in bed the blankets pulled down.

Sweat was trickling down Dean's forehead as he started down at his toes, his attention one hundred percent on the task at hand, moving his toes over and over again with each movement his face showing more and more satisfaction .

Sam let a few more minutes pass, and when is presence had still gone without notice finally spoke up smirking to himself. "You're getting to be a pro at that."

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when his brother's voice penetrated his concentration his head shooting up embarrassment immediately creeping into his cheeks, "Yeah… Well… I wouldn't go calling the papers just yet…"

The younger man made his way further into the room, he himself feeling more then a little satisfied at the picture before him, Dean was trying, practicing, and he was doing it at his own free will, no pushing, no prodding, no bitching.

Noticing the smile on his brother's face the older man scoffed and cocked his eyebrow cockily, "Don't look so pleased with yourself, we still have a long way to go Sam."

"True, but it's good to see you back in the drivers seat."

"Whatever." Dean reached over and took his water bottle off of the nightstand taking a long drink as he looked to the clock, "Eleven? Sleeping in these days Sammy?"

Sam chuckled, "It was a long night, what can I say?"

Dean thought momentarily back to the previous night and the conversation they had finally had and once again he found his insides at ease with the road ahead. It was a new day, a new beginning, and now as he looked at his brother, he saw as alone as he had felt before, as empty… That was never the case, Sammy was there, his Sammy and he would always be.

Now it was Sam's turn to question the look he was receiving as he noticed the sparkle in his brother's hazel orbs starring in his direction. "What?"

"Nothin."

"That's not a nothing face, what are you thinking about?"

"Breakfast." Dean lied.

"You look like that when you think about food? If eggs and sausage get you that excited these days, we really need to start getting you out more…"

"Shut up!"

"I'm just sayin'…"

Dean shook his head and lifted himself up further on to his elbows preparing himself to transfer into his chair as Sam came around the side of the bed and pulled his brother's wheelchair closer helping him into it. "So what is for breakfast?" He asked taking the cue from his stomach as it growled, he had obviously worked up an appetite.

"Well, Dad's gone to the store, with everything going on these days we seemed to have forgotten to refill the fridge…."

"What do we have?"

"A can of beer, a spoiled cartoon of milk… and some bread?"

The older man grimaced, "Yikes."

"Well, we could go grab something, there's a Denny's not to far we could wa-" Sam let his voice die off and drew his lip into his mouth…

Dean cranked his neck to see behind himself hearing his brother's words abruptly stop and he frowned a little, "Sam, you don't have to watch what you say around me… It's just a figure of speech."

"Oh I know…" The younger man lied, the truth was things had been going to so well the last twenty-four hours, he didn't want to do or say anything that would tick him off or discourage him.

"Liar."

"So Denny's?" Sam asked again completely ignoring the retort.

"Yeah… Alright…" There was the slightest amount of hesitation in Dan's voice, he had been feeling good about everything, his progress, the chances of his recovery, but still there were a few things he was hesitant to face, one of those things… the biggest of those things was the world beyond his front door. He could still remember the first tome Sam had forced him out into the public, the stares and the pity… The nausea and the anger.

But he couldn't stay in here forever he couldn't hide, he needed to move forward, as much as he didn't want to he needed to accept these circumstances for the time being, he was recovering this was true, but it could still be months before he was on his feet again.

- Sam pushed his brother down the sidewalk leaning over the back of his chair and strolling lazily along, the mid-afternoon air was more then a little refreshing for both men as they made there way toward the restaurant about three blocks from their apartment.

"Maybe we should have driven, how much further is it???" Dean grunted his voice carrying a small amount of complaint to it…"

"Dude, stop your bitchin'." Sam looked down toward his brother and away from the busty brunette he had been studying who stood on an upcoming corner obviously waiting to cross. "At least you get a ride…I'm the one doing all the work here!"

"Yeah well I'm hungry!"

"Oh please."

As they approached the short brunette Dean smiled at his brother, "She's cute…You should go for her."

"What who?" Sam asked playing innocent already having found his eyes wandering back in her direction.

"Riiiight." Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose to keep a smile from his face. Yup Dean was definitely on his way back to his old self again.

They were only about half a block from their destination when there comfortable silence was interrupted.

"Sam?!?!" A woman's voice questioned from a few feet behind them.

The young man stopped in his tracks.

Dean froze, his insides twisting into ten thousand knots as he swallowed repeatedly trying to find his voice again "D-Don't stop…. Keep going…" He pleaded his words quiet "Please."

"Dean-" Sam whispered closing his eyes, of all of the things that could have gone wrong, of all the incidences and scenarios Sam had gone over in his head about what could happen, this had never been one of them.

"Go Sam…" Dean's voice was an irritated growl,

But it was to late as Sam's feet began moving again he already felt slender fingers on his back forcing him to turn around. "Sam?"

She was just as Sam remembered her and he forced a smile to come to his lips. "Hey Cassie…" His words were strained as he brought a hand up and ran it through his hair.

"I thought that was you." The young woman smiled her whole face glowing as she did so… "What are you doing here?" She only now took notice that he was not alone and peeked around Sam to the man in the wheelchair, "And whose thi-" Her voice trailed off getting caught in her throat as her eyes rested on the man in the wheelchair her heart jumping in her chest. "Dean…" It was a breathless single word.

Dean ran his hand over his chin and forced down the vomit that was now in his windpipe "Hi Cassie…" He whispered looking into the eyes of the only woman he had ever allowed himself to love, of all the people to see him like this, of all the people to carry pity in there eyes….

"Hi…" She let her eyes roam over his body, there were no broken bones, no casts, nothing….He was as handsome as she remembered… "Ummm, what…" She thought of a million things to say questions to ask, but nothing seemed right, seemed fitting or tactful as she blinked a few times realizing she was staring and tore her eyes away looking down at the pavement.

Sam frowned deeply shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other and letting go of his brother's chair handles he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Hunting accident." He lied realizing that the young woman before him was obviously dumbfounded and looking for some sort of reasonable explanation. She wanted answers and if he told her the truth it would only lead to more questions and a deep conversation he knew Dean was not up to having.

Cassie and Dean had at one point been an item, and Sam knew that there was a love there that had to remain forbidden and untouched for the time being, he had always secretly hoped that someday, when this whole Demon and darkness mess was over his brother could find the happiness with her that he deserved, because he knew just by the look in Dean's eyes at the mere thought of her, just how much love he had for her.

"Yeah…" Dean clenched and unclenched his jaw, "Just a little spine damage, everything is going to be fine though… on my way to a full recovery…." He shifted uncomfortably avoiding her gaze.

"When?"

"A few months ago…"

"I-I'm sorry…." her voice was just as soft and sweet as Dean remembered it being.

"Nothing to be sorry for." He tried not to sound snippy, but he was tired of that response, tired of people feeling sorry for him, telling him they wish there was something they could do….

"So ummmm…" Sam could feel the tension in the air quickly surrounding them and decided a change in topic was in order. "What are you doing here?"

Cassie shook her head as I to pull herself from some sort of trance shifting her eyes from the older to the younger Winchester, "My aunt lives here, she asked me to come and house sit for a little while, she's out of town on business…. What are you guys doing here? Last I checked you weren't not ones to plant roots."

"Yeah well… Things change, we're just hanging out here until we can get him back on his feet again."

Cassie nodded numbly still trying to digest what her eyes were seeing and her ears were hearing, Dean… her Dean was right in front of her a broken image of what he was the last time she had seen him.

"You're staring again…" Dean grunted, "You might want to try closing your jaw it makes it a little less noticeable."

Sam inhaled sharply he knew that this situation was uncomfortable for all three of them but Dean more so then himself or Cassie, he could see it, the way his brothers fingers were fidgeting in his lap his eyes so cold and so detached as he looked at his one time lover, his entire demeanor so… distant compared to what it was only minutes before.

"I'm sorry…" Cassie frowned a little, she knew her was starring she just couldn't stop herself everything seemed so surreal. "Is there… Anything you know I can do for you? Anything you guys need?"

"You want to wipe my ass for me?"

"DEAN!" Sam reprimanded giving Cassie an apologetic look.

"What?!?! She's the one acting like she's never seen a cripple before!"

"I'm sorry…." The younger man whispered, "He hasn't quite been himself lately, he's taking this whole thing kind of hard, and he's just…."

"It's fine," Cassie's voice was softer then a whisper now as Sam saw tears welling into her eyes, he wondered how his brother could turn himself off so quickly like that and hurt someone he once cared so much about without even batting an eyelash.

Sam resisted the urge to slap his brother in the head as hard as he could, knock him out of his wheelchair and on to the ground, knock some sense into that dense head of his…

"Well… Ummmm listen, it was really good to see you. Both… and if you do need something you have my cell number it hasn't changed, I just… I wish for the best for you Dean."

Dean didn't answer he simply dropped his head and left his gaze on his lap until he heard her footsteps growing further and further away and finally he lifted his head just as he felt his brother's hand across the back of his head.

"OW! What the hell was that for?!?!"

"Why the hell did you have to be so mean to her?"

"Mean to her?!" He scoffed "She was the one staring at me as though I had a third head and a penis growing out of my nose!"

"That's sick dude!" Sam shook his head trying to remove such a revolting image, "This is a shock to some people man, she was tr-"

"She was staring at me like I'd expect from a stranger! I'm not just some man on the street corner Sam! We shared a bed for Christ sakes and I can just hear her thoughts… I saw where she was looking! I wonder if it still works, Poor thing…"

"She was NOT thinking that Dean!"

"How do you know? I saw the pity in her eyes man, I saw it it was as if she were looking at no more then a sick child!"

"Dean!" Sam ran his hand again through his hair in frustration he didn't know what else to do, what to say, the truth was he had seen the pity in Cassie's eyes just as Dean had… He had however also seen the sadness there as well…

"We shared everything Sam, and now for her to look at me like that! Like damaged goods?!?!"

"You're not damaged goods alright? You're working on getting better, and pretty soon, you will be whole again and all…" Sam cleared his throat more then a little disturbed by the subject they were without a doubt suddenly referring to, "All of your part… will be in working order again."

"I know…" Dean admitted sheepishly to his brother's surprise, "It's just of all the people to see… to look at me like that…"

"Let's just go eat alright?!"

Dean nodded more to himself then in response, the look in Cassie's eyes was still freshly engraved in his mind churning his stomach and stabbing his heart, and it was just another thing to add to the list… Another reason for him to stand and walk again, for him to beat the odds and win this battle, no one was going to look at him like that again, no one, especially not someone he once loved.

Using Cassie as a part of this story was something that I struggled with, I didn't know whether bringing her in was the best idea, but I decided to use her because she is the only real lover that Dean has admitted to having… And I wanted this small scene to make a larger impact because it was someone he cared about someone he loved…. So let me in on your thoughts, the good the bad and the ugly I want it all.