YES! Here is the newest chapter of The Sleepover Series! I love this one too! The girls and Tseng have their lines in italics, and the rest have their lines in regular font. You'll see why in a little bit as you read. Enjoy this, and I hope you laugh as much as I did!

I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just use them.

"Lucky bastard...wonder what they're doing to him..." Reno was staring at the ceiling, trying to develop x-ray vision but failing miserably. Rude just shook his head in answer. Elena had abandoned them for the little sleepover going on upstairs. Reno felt slightly betrayed at that, but she was female, and girls always stuck together.

"You should wonder what they are not doing to him, Reno." Reno looked over at Vincent in shock. The man was usually silent, the only one getting him to talk was Yuffie. No one knew how or why that was, but neither party was going to tell anyone else. Reno noticed Reeve and Cloud nodding their heads. They looked like little bobble head dolls, both sitting there with their newspapers and nodding. He gave Vincent a dark look.

"What do you know that we," he gestured around the room, "don't, Vincent?"

"Nothing. But I would imagine he is not wishing to escape any time soon."

"Nope. Not buying that shit. You know something. Spill it." Vincent looked up from his book, the cover of which matched his cape exactly, and gave Reno an expressionless stare. His gaze was enough to frighten anyone off but Yuffie. Reno looked away quickly. It just wasn't right to have a staring contest with a guy that had four demons in his head. Reno resumed staring at the ceiling. Then he got a thought. The thought made him jump up from his chair and punch the air in victory.

"What?" Rude asked.

"Rude, man, know what we have in our bags?"

"Besides clothes and cigarettes?"

"Yeah, besides that."

"What?"

"A SPYBOT THAT'S WHAT!"

"Spybot?" Cloud looked up, curious. Reeve smiled, it was the same smile Yuffie got when she was going to prank someone. It was the reason they got on so well together as friends. There was no safe haven when Yuffie and Reeve were plotting something.

"A machine that scales walls and has a miniature camera on it. Transmits video to a laptop so you can watch it. Why didn't you say anything about it before?" Reeve gave the two other Turks a piercing look, which Rude grunted at and Reno scoffed.

"Gimme a break, Reeve. We're on vacation! Your brain's not supposed to work on a fucking vacation." With that he ran up the stairs, returning quickly with a bag and a laptop computer. He and Rude began pulling out wires and antennas and batteries and such. A surge protector made it's home in one of the outlets, having turned one lamp out of it's place to be there. A wire was plugged into what looked like an eight legged insect, barely the size of Reno's palm. This cord was coiled, most likely several hundred feet long. "Glad we brought all this along, partner." Rude nodded, putting a battery in the 'insect' while Reno got the computer up and ready for its task. "Alright, let's test this baby out..." A few switches and buttons later, there was an image on the screen from the spybot's camera. It showed the fabric of the curtains in perfect detail.

"Ready?" Reno nodded gleefully, sitting down on the floor. The other men in the room gathered round him, including Vincent, who stayed near the back instead of fighting for a front row seat. Rude set the small robot on the window sill, a power cord attached to its battery, and Reno used a joystick to make it move. The images in the camera were moving quickly, much more quickly than anyone thought it would. "Should be there now."

"Let's see...I think this's it..." Reno steered the robot over to a window, hearing giggling that could be nothing other than the girls nearby. He inched it closer, finding the room dark. Movement caught their attention, but they couldn't see what it was in the dark. "Okay...night vision time..."

"GAH!" Everyone recoiled at what they saw. A man, middle aged and morbidly obese, was standing naked beside his bed, doing the Macarena.

Reno hurriedly moved the spybot away from the sight while the other's saved their vision from the horrid sight. He, unlike the others, didn't have the luxury of looking away. He had to see where he was steering the robot. The next window, which was conveniently open, with the drapes pulled back, held a much more enticing scene.

There were the girls, Elena and Tifa on one bed, while Tseng was laying face down on the other, his back straddled by Yuffie, who was giving him a massage. Several heads shook, Reno's included, at Tseng's position. What Vincent said was true, he really didn't seem to want to escape any time soon. Yuffie patted his back then.

"Feeling good, Tseng?" She asked, her head to one side like a bird.

"Yes, thank you." Yuffie waited until she had put the lid back on the bottle of massage oil before getting off of him. He sat up, stretching slightly. Yuffie knelt behind him, putting her head on his shoulder and both arms around his neck.

"Is there something else you want? Cookies already dunked in milk? I'm a great cookie dunker!"

"No, thank you, not right now." Tseng brought a hand up to try and pull Yuffie's arms away from his neck, but it wasn't meant to be. She tightened her grip, leaning up so that her cheek was against his.

"Please? You're our spider hero!" Tifa looked up and cheered along with Elena. "Come on, what else you want, Hero?"

"If I said what I wanted right this second, I have a feeling you would drown me in the toilet." The girls laughed.

Reno grinned widely and nodded, while Cloud and Reeve both did the same thing. Rude was silent as always, but his attention was riveted on the screen before them along with Cid, Barrett and Vincent in the background. Vincent was perched on the top of the nearest chair, somehow balancing on it.

Yuffie had taken Tseng's hand in her own and was inspecting it.

"HEY! Let us fix your nails!" The face Tseng made caused the audience to laugh uproariously.

"You are not painting my nails bright pink..." Reno guffawed at the thought of Tseng with pink nails.

"Not pink! Geeze...it'd be purple! I'm kidding! Really, your cuticles are all messed up..." Tifa got up to inspect them as well, Elena just grinned at the man across from her. Tseng looked like a piece of livestock brought to market with the way they were inspecting his hands.

"Okay! It's decided!" Tifa said, grabbing the bag that had been beside her on the other bed. She fished around in it for a minute, then emerged with a large pink file. She looked around for a moment, frowning. "Hey, guys, let's put both the beds together. We'll all fit on it then!"

"Holy shit, this is like a porno movie in the making..." Cid said, passing a cigarette to Reno without looking away. Reno took it, lighting it quickly and passing his lighter along to Cid.

"Yeah!" Yuffie said, jumping up from her seat. Elena did the same thing. She and Tifa went to the bed they had sat on before while Yuffie and Tseng went to the side of the one they had been occupying. They pushed the beds together quickly, making sure they were even before Yuffie and Elena both jumped on them, bouncing several times before Tifa did the same thing, making the other two women bounce again. Tseng hesitantly sat down on the edge, only to be grabbed by all three and dragged to the middle so that he was surrounded.

Tifa then sat in front of him, filing away with her large pink nail file while Elena was doing the same for Yuffie, who had her feet in the air, swaying back and forth slightly.

"Hey, Lena?" Elena looked up from her filing at Yuffie. "You ever sleep with any Turkey sides Tseng here?"

"No! Isn't it a bad idea to sleep with ALL of you co-workers?"

"Yeah, but I was just curious. What about Reeve? He's not a Turk."

"Nope."

"I wonder if he's any good in bed...I bet he is."

Reeve's eyes widened slightly, and he turned to Cloud questioningly. Cloud patted his shoulder, and went back to watching the scene.

"Speaking from experience, Yuffie?" Elena said, teasing the younger woman.

"NO. He's pretty hot though, you gotta admit. He's totally ripped under those clothes." The other three occupants all looked at her for a moment. "What? We go swimming! Like you wouldn't look at some guy with great abs at a beach."

"Very true."

"What about you, Tseng?" Tifa asked, still intent on his hands. "You sleep with any of your co-workers?"

"Elena's the only female co-worker I have..."

"Well, you could be bi or something." Tseng's face contorted into an expression of disgust and horror.

Reno and Rude nearly fell over from laughing. Reno wiped tears from his eyes, while Rude removed his sunglasses. All the men turned to look at him but Reno. Rude always wore his sunglasses.

"What?" He asked. They all shook their heads and went back to the screen.

"I'm not gay, thank you very much."

"Are any of the others fruits?" Yuffie asked.

"No."

"Not even Rufus?" Elena and Tifa giggled at that. "I bet he's gay. No man can have hair that beautiful and be straight. I bet he likes to be the bitch, too." They all laughed.

The men laughed as well. Reno had mental images of Rufus, pants around his ankles and a ball gag in his mouth, on his knees, begging to be whipped by a butch man wearing leather chaps with no pants, partially horrify and amuse him.

"What about AVALANCHE? Are any of them gay?" Elena asked.

"Not that we know of...but they do spend an awful lot of time alone together in their rooms. Even on the Highwind, when I went to ask where the extra soap was, they all glared at me while hiding something under coats." Tifa shook her head at the memory.

"Did you sleep with anyone in AVALANCHE besides Cloud, Tifa?"

"Nope. Just him."

"Really? You and Barrett seem so close."

"It's a brother and sister thing, you know?" Elena and Yuffie nodded their heads in understanding while Tseng continued to watch what Tifa was doing to his nails.

"Look at Tseng's face! It's like he's waiting for them to grow a second head and eat him!" Cloud said, pointing at the screen. Reno batted his finger away, glaring at him for obstructing the view.

"What about you, Yuffie?" Elena asked. Yuffie grinned at them before answering.

"Yep."

"Oh my gawd, who?"

Cloud, Cid, Barret and Reeve were all looking suspiciously from one to another, trying to find out who it was that slept with Yuffie and had never said anything about it. Reno and Rude were looking for a moment too, but they flagged the others to go back to watching.

"Vinnie."

Every male eye in the room turned to Vincent Valentine, perched on the back of his chair as calm as he could be. He met their glares with his usual impassive stare.

"Yes?" He said. Reeve's jaw was working but no sound was coming out of it, while Cid swore under his breath. Barret joined him and thus began an impromptu creative cursing contest held in whispers. Cloud was just staring at him in shock. Rude looked slightly envious.

"Wait a minute!" Reno said, practically yelling. "You got a piece of that and DIDN'T tell us? You dipshit..." Vincent raised an eyebrow at him.

"I am not accustomed to sharing such things. They are private and thus not for general discussion."

"You still shoulda told us, Vampire." Cid said, Reno nodding vehemently. They went back to the screen, eager to hear more.

"Would it irritate you to know that it was more than once?" Vincent said into the silence. All of the heads dropped into at least one hand. Vincent had a very small smile on his face behind the collar of his cape.

"Are you serious, Yuffie! Vincent?" Yuffie nodded, Elena and Tseng momentarily stunned. "He's got demons in his head...was he alright?"

"What, like turning into Chaos in the middle of sex? No. No demons partook of that."

"Well, what was it like then?"

"He's really gentle, actually. It's so great to have a guy that won't just rip off your clothes and go in for a fuck fest. He was genuinely interested in my comfort and pleasure."

"Awww, who'd have thought Vincent to be like that?" Tifa said, smiling down at Tseng's hands as she continued to file them.

"I never would have." Elena smiled at Yuffie, who was still grinning. "But, you never said if he was any good or not. Just gentle." She raised an eyebrow at Yuffie. Yuffie returned the expression before answering.

"I wouldn't spend three nights in his bed if he wasn't."

Reno was glaring red-hot daggers at Vincent, who still sat atop his chair, ignoring the looks AVALANCHE was sending him along with Reno's. The situation was nothing but amusing to him, but the others couldn't see his smile behind the cape. He once again waited for them to go back to the screen before speaking.

"And three days." Rude had to hold Reno back by the collar of his shirt to keep him from attacking Vincent.

"Rub it in, why don't you?" Reeve said, the other's nodding. Vincent chuckled quietly.

"...anything unusual?" Elena said.

"Not really. He does tend to use 'colorful language in the heat of his passion'." The girls laughed while Tseng just looked on, bemused.

"That's like a line from a cheesy romance novel!"

"Oh, don't forget about his 'manhood throbbing with desire to plunge into the depths of the pleasure cave betwixt her legs'. Gawd, where do they come up with those lines?" Tifa said, laughing along with the other girls. Tseng looked up at the girls finally.

"You mean to tell me that people actually write that kind of drivel?" He said, torn between amusement and disgust. "And that you read it?"

"Um, yeah? There's some good fantasy scenes in those things. What girl DOESN'T want to be kidnapped by the roguishly handsome sultan who just happens to be tall, muscular and has a 'truly masterful erection' for most of the book? They always end up pampered as a princess, the only thing they have to do is fuck a guy that's incredibly hot and they both end up in love and live happily ever after." Tifa and Yuffie nodded agreement with Elena.

"I like the ones where they say how it's all erotic riding a chocobo bareback. Have they ever tried that? It hurts like a bitch!" Yuffie made a face along with her statement that showed just what she thought of that idea.

"Or the ones that have all the sex scenes in water. That doesn't work AT ALL." Tifa shook her head along with the girls. "Sure skinny dipping is fun foreplay and all, but sex in the water...can we say 'no lubrication'?"

"NO LUBRICATION!" Yuffie and Elena said in unison like cheerleaders, both throwing one fist in the air. Tseng closed his eyes and shook his head silently.

"What I wouldn't give for those three to be in some skimpy ass cheerleader outfits..." Cid was shaking his head, fumbling around for another cigarette. Reno blindly handed his pack over to him. Cid nodded in thanks.

"No problem."

"You're in water. How can there be no lubrication?" Tseng asked finally. Reno and the rest were relieved to hear that question be asked. Hot tubs were one of every man's favorite fantasies.

"See, Tseng, it's better for you when a girl's all wet, right?" He nodded at Yuffie to continue. "Water takes away that 'slick' wet and replaces it with the equivalent of toothpaste. Not at all comfortable."

"Not to mention the mud and all the little creatures that like to 'investigate' if you're in a pond or lake." The girls shuddered dramatically at Tifa's statement.

"Wait, I thought you liked mud wrestling?" Tseng said.

"We do. There's a difference between the mud used for wrestling and mud with little insects and stuff living in it." Tifa said in answer.

"We haven't done that in a while, guys. We need to get payback on you, Tifa." Tseng raised a silent eyebrow at Yuffie to explain. "See, it takes both me and 'Lena here to take Tifa down in a match, and that's if we're lucky! She can pin us both at the same time!"

"Rude, when this is done, find every single place that does mud wrestling here." Rude nodded, jotting a note to himself down before going back to the screen. He had no problem following Reno's orders if they made sense.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I wonder if I should include a mud-wrestling scene...we'll see! Review you guys! You take the time to read it! Hit the little 'GO!' button and make me a happy Tagg!

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