YAY for finally updating! You've been waiting so patiently. I won't keep you from the story!

I don't own FF VII or any of her characters. I just use them and get no monetary gain.

"Oooh, let's put that one in!" Yuffie said, pointing at his computer screen. It held an image of a man's erect penis wearing a bow tie, with little eyes painted on the head. Tseng laughed and kissed the side of her neck before sending the image into Cait Sith's memory bank.

Tseng was seated at his computer, Yuffie on his lap. She was wearing a button up shirt that somehow found its way onto her body from his closet. Not that he particularly minded, seeing as she was wearing nothing else, but he would have preferred her to wear something easier to remove. He kissed her neck again, this time making his way up to her ear.

"Careful, I like that. Aren't we supposed to be putting images into Cait's memory?"

"Yes. But you're sitting on me and wearing nothing but one of my shirts. I can't help it, especially when I know how good you feel."

"You sure know how to stroke a girl's ego, Tseng." Yuffie said, standing up.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Nowhere. I can't straddle you facing forward, now can I?" She came to sit astride him, arms around his neck. His lips and tongue were too busy with kissing her to answer, so he started unbuttoning the shirt she wore instead. "Didn't think so."

Meanwhile, in Reeve's office...

"When's that $&ing cat gunna wake up, Reeve?"

"Any minute now. The automatic reboot takes a while to begin." Cid began cursing as he lit another cigarette. Cloud opened a window and walked over to Reeve's desk.

"Why does it take so long, Reeve?"

"Well, in theory, whoever turned him off won't be expecting him to wake up three and a half hours later. They'd expect him to wake up within ten minutes or so."

"What do you think they're doing now?" Reeve shrugged his ignorance.

"Probably playin' strip poker again. Lucky bastard..." Cid switched his cigarette to the other side of his mouth. "How the $#$ did Tseng end up being buddy-buddy with all three of them!?"

"If I knew that, my friend, I would be the one with them and not Tseng."

"Good point, Reeve. Good point..."

"Ah, he's waking up!" Cid and Cloud gathered around Reeve's desk to see what was happening. "Let's see...his visual feed is manually turned off...but there seems to be some data in there..."

"Hurry the #$# up!"

"I am, I am. There!" Cid and Cloud reeled back from the image of an erect penis wearing a bow tie with eyes painted on. Reeve threw his head back and laughed. "Got to give them credit for creativity. I wonder if that's a picture they took."

"If it is, they're demented."

"I wonder if the caption of it would be 'Ness. Willi P. Ness. Jacked, not jerked.'"

"You're a sick $$ just for thinking of that!"

"Be that as it may, if it IS a picture they took , that means Tseng is naked with at least one of them."

"You're right! #$#! Get that robot up and running!"

"I am working on it as we speak...there we go...now where are we, my feline friend?"

'I don't rightly know, Reeve! Let me unplug myself and we'll have a look about.'

"And turn on your night vision as well."

'Right. Ah, that's better. A bedroom! With clothes on the floor. Seems rather tidy other than that.'

"I don't give a $# how clean it is, cat! What are they doing?"

'Not too sure. Ah, the shower's running! I wonder if the bathroom is as disgustingly tidy as the bedroom. Hmmm...I can't turn on the transmitter feed, Reeve. Sorry.'

"Yes, I know. Just record the images and tell us what's going on."

'Right! Approaching the bathroom door, using stealth mode.'

"The #$, is he humming is own spy music?"

"Apparently. It's part of his personality. I'm quite proud of how autonomous he is."

'Going to crack the door open a bit, so I can get a peek inside.' A few moments of silence passed by, the three men each waiting anxiously for an update. 'Alright, pulling back the curtain...lot's of steam, two feet...very nice set of legs...oh foofie!' A high pitched scream rang out from the computer speakers. Cait Sith matched it with one of his own and the sounds of desperate scrambling and thrown shampoo bottles followed. 'T'was an accident, I swear! I woke up and didn't know where I was so I tried -OW- to find out -that hurt!- where I was.' The next sound that was heard was that of a gun being cocked. 'Uh-oh. H-how n-nice t-t-to see you, T-tseng. Heh-he. Now, now, don't be hasty! Let's talk about this like civilized people...'

'I'm going to dismember you, cat.'

"Well, at least he got some good video to share later on. If I can get him back." Reeve said, chin in hand. Cloud nodded. Cid just snorted and cursed as the audio feed was cut off. "I hope I can get him back. It takes so long to build a new one."

-Back at Tseng's Apartment-

Tseng sat on the edge of his bed, glaring at now inert form of Cait Sith. Yuffie was crawling up behind him, one arm snaking around his neck and shoulder. He sighed, and allowed himself to be pulled into the bed. It wasn't until she was wrapped securely in his arms that he relaxed.

"I probably shouldn't stay the night."

"What?" Tseng went right back to being tense. "Why?"

"Cause I don't want to kick you in my sleep. I do that sometimes."

"Don't frighten me like that. I can put up with a kick or two. Just make sure you don't aim for my crotch." Yuffie giggled and shifted a bit on the mattress. "You (yawn) think that's funny?"

"No...I'll save that for Reeve..."

"Good night, Yuffie."

"Nnnn..."

-The Next Morning-

Leaving his bed with Yuffie still in it was the most difficult task he had yet to undertake. She had tried to convince him that it would be better to stay home today, but there was work to be done even if he was not on guard duty in the morning. Yuffie walked him to his door, once again wearing his shirt with nothing under it. She had been good enough to make him some coffee, which he was thankful for. Standing in line at the coffee shop for an hour was not on his list of things to do.

"Good morning, Tseng. Did you sleep well?" Rufus asked, stepping into the elevator along side him.

"Quite. Did you?"

"Oh, yes indeed. I have a lunch date later on, hope you don't mind."

"No, sir. Seiji again?"

"Yes! Such a brilliant man. He said he would send me a silk lounging robe once he got back to Wutai." Tseng just nodded before taking another gulp of coffee. "And how is the White Rose of Wutai doing this fine morning?"

"Probably sleeping in. I hope she doesn't try to kill Charlotte."

"Charlotte? Who is that? I do NOT approve of another woman for you, Tseng! For shame!"

"Charlotte is my pet tarantula. Yuffie hates spiders."

"Well, I wouldn't care to find out before you've had another cup of coffee. What do you have in that bag?"

"Cait Sith." Rufus raised an eyebrow. "In a dress."

"I take it he was doing something naughty?" Tseng winced slightly. "Something wrong?"

"You saying the word 'naughty' to me is almost frightening."

"Well, I bet you were naughty last night! I know I was."

"That's nice, sir. I don't care to know any details."

"Oh, but that's not fair, Tseng! I'd be more than willing to listen to you talk about your night. You really should broaden your horizons. Live a little."

"I think Yuffie and the girls broaden my horizons quite enough." The elevator chimed at their floor, and they exited into the executive office suite. Reeve was there, waiting for them. He was no longer a member of the Shinra Co., but he had a great deal of experience that was needed to help restore things to a semblance of normalcy.

Tseng set his coffee down on the secretary's desk and dropped his bag to the floor with a thud. He opened it, and Cait Sith shot out, wearing a pink doll's dress and bonnet, clutching his tail in both hands for fear he would lose it.

"Reeve! He pulled my tail clean off! Fix it! Fix it! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The robotic cat leaped into Reeve's arms, who was staring in horror at the cat.

"And next time, it'll be your head." Tseng reclamied his coffee and waited at the office door for Rufus. Rufus, shaking his head at Reeve examining his robot, followed him.

"What would you have done to a person that was spying on you?"

"I'd burn their eyes out with acid, sir."

"Oh. Well, shall we get the day started?"

"Yes, sir."