Disclaimer: For entertainment purposes only.
Wasted Time Chapter 7
Hutch hadn't quite been prepared for how bad he felt by the time they had gone the two blocks to the Pits. Wheezing and shaking he stepped into the bar, surprised to find it empty.
"I'm being refurbed" Huggy explained. "Go on upstairs I'll bring you something to drink!"
As Hutch staggered the three flights up to the top room, he had to concede at this point that Huggy was getting good at this psychology thing. he was here when he had every intention of not being anywhere near the place. Round one to Huggy. He gingerly pushed open the door to Huggy's spare room, and after a moments hesitation he stepped inside and looked around. To his surprise nothing much had changed since the last time he had been here, the bed, chairs and table still in the same place. It was still mostly uninhabitable, perfect for a drunk to sober up in, perfect for a addict to come down from a high, oh how the mighty had fallen he snorted to himself. If only Richard Hutchinson could see me now. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and sighed. This was just all too hard. To distract himself he reached into his pocket and pulled out the card, the physician had given him and wished he hadn't!
"Hmm the number for AA always useful" He said out loud with more than a hint of sarcasm to himself. "Hello my name is Ken and I am an alcoholic."
Was he really an alcoholic? Now that was a loaded question and one he didn't feel equipped to deal with at the moment, he flipped the card over to find the number for a rehab clinic.
"Damn, damn, damn!" He dropped his head and his left hand crept up to pinch the area in the middle of his forehead. His head hurt and he couldn't think clearly. How had his life come to this? It was all too painful, had it always been like this?
No there had been a time when his life had meant something. Hutch got up and started to pace then sat down again, life even with Starsky had had some painful moments, but he had some how always managed to find his way back. In this room, there had been pain, there had been sickness there had been Starsky, As much as he didn't want to go there the memories started to flood back, sweat, nausea, pain and Starsky. He had been his constant, he had been his comfort and his reassurance. Starsky had brought him back from the edge, he had saved his life and how had he re paid him betrayal that was how. Could he fix what he had broken?
Hutch looked up as the door creaked open. Huggy entered carrying a tray laden with a flask of coffee and a bottle of whisky and two glasses. Hutch eyed the bottle suspiciously,the craving he felt was overwhelming and he pushed his shaking hands between his thighs desperately trying to hide them. If he didn't know better he would have thought that Huggy was trying to test him. Some kind of reverse psychology, he'd probably learnt from Starsky.
"So what will it be?" Huggy asked innocently. What he hoped he had offered Hutch by bringing back here was a connection to the person he needed most right now. Memories were powerful things, and so was a kick in the ass should Hutch not see the error of his ways promptly.
"Coffee" Hutch grumbled surprising himself, as he accepted the warming brew.
"So wat cha goin to do?" Huggy asked, not that he was going to give the man a choice.
"I don't seem to have a whole lot of choice" Hutch muttered, "But I don't want to see Starsky hug. I'm not ready for that"
"Starsky doesn't need to deal with this, he has his hands full at the moment" Huggy replied matter of factly. "Lets get you dried out for a few days, and then the world may seem a better place. Huh?"
Hutch arched an eyebrow "Is there something going on with Starsky I should know about?"
"Nope nothing, I know of," Huggy replied honestly, lots had gone on but most of it had been sorted, but he wasnt about to get in to any of that with Hutch at the moment.
"You sure?" Hutch was unconvinced.
"Look Starsky has been through some hard times since you left, but he's got through it. He's ok, and anything more than that I think he should tell you about!"
"Hard times?" Hutch could feel his guilty conscience working over time.
"Hutch do I have to spell it out for you. You disappeared, he took it hard. His confidence was….damn me and my big mouth" Huggy chastised himself.
"His confidence?" Hutch had always known that Starsky had vulnerability about him, even more so since Gunther. On the outside Starsky was as tough as nails on the inside, was the little boy, the kid who had grown up too fast, the young man who had seen too much, too young. He had an underlying vulnerability that only Hutch was privy to. Had his leaving shattered Starskys already fragile confidence?
"I was trying to protect him Hug. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I guess he didn't see that." Hutch said quietly.
Huggy put a hand on Hutch's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze "Look the way I see this, is that you both had a breakdown of communications, not entirely unexpected considering the circumstances. I know for a fact that Starsky has done the required maintenance, and maybe its time you did the same."
Hutch contemplated what Huggy had told him, the tightness in his chest further constricted by the turmoil of his emotions.
"Why don't you get some rest huh?" Huggy pulled back the covers on the bed. " I know this ain't the best place to be..and I know that I am not Starsky…But I'm here for you man."
"Just keep the coffee coming" Hutch settled back on the pillows, closing his eyes "And er Hug Thanks"