Ahh…four in the morning updates. It is clearly winter break. I don't have much to say to set this up. I think it's pretty self-explanatory. However, I'm glad to hear that people don't completely hate my rambling. That is good. I will continue to ramble. (See? It's bad to encourage me. Hee.) Actually, I would probably still ramble anyway. It's just natural for me to be all over the place. Or something… Anyway, yeah…also glad to hear people enjoyed the previous chapter and some stuff from Derek's perspective. He's always fun, and I get to pretend to think like a guy. Which is hard, but interesting. Hee. So yes, this is actually a short opening ramble. This might be due to the four am thing. If the whole chapter makes no sense, this is also due to the four am thing. Blame it on the clocks, people. Or the lack of sleep… Yeah, lack of sleep actually makes much more sense than clocks. Anyway, here we go!
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No need
to stay as it's always nothing
But
your eyes tell a whole other story, and I feel the weight of the
world
-----
"Whoa…you're back here? Are you hiding?" The sound of Alex's voice ruined the perfect silence of the abandoned hallway, and Meredith looked up from where she sat on an old gurney. A flash of guilt shone in her eyes, but it disappeared quickly, and she shook her head.
"No."
"Oh, so you've just set up Camp Intern here in the dark, away from freaking all of civilization for the hell of it?" He raised an eyebrow at the stacks of labs and patients' charts piled around her. It was nearly a fort of paperwork, occasionally interspersed with various snacks.
Meredith clicked her pen indignantly, squinting in the dim light as she skimmed over a lab report. "I just needed a place to do labs."
"Seriously? You know, the hospital actually has some very nice conference rooms. With tables. And light." His voice was filled with a sarcasm quotient usually only achieved by Cristina, and he shoved Meredith's things over unceremoniously to give himself room to flop down beside her on the gurney.
"It's quiet here," she said with a rather hesitant shrug, before reaching over and yanking her bag of chips back out of his hands. "Helps me concentrate. But seriously, you found me. What are you doing here? Civilization proved too much for you too?" She turned and shot Alex a grin just in time to catch a fleeting look of embarrassment cross his face.
"Nothing…"
"Oh you're lying," said Meredith delightedly, grateful for an excuse to set down the lab report she'd been working on.
"So are you," shot back Alex instantly. Meredith's smile faltered, prompting Alex to smirk as he stole a few more of her chips. She didn't answer, just stared uneasily down at the scuffed toes of her shoes, until Alex shrugged and cleared his throat. "Fine…Izzie's been complaining about how she wants those stupid cookies with the red stuff in the center, only the machine by the lockers is out. So…" His voice was both gruff and nonchalant, but his eyes looked uncomfortable.
"You mean the ones with the raspberry filling," corrected Meredith.
Alex gave a noncommittal shrug. "Sure. Whatever."
Meredith's smile returned, stretching once more into a delighted grin. "You're vending machine hunting," she declared. "For Izzie." Alex shrugged again, but his cheeks flushed noticeably. "You and Izzie…" she continued, her voice lilting and her eyes lighting up happily.
"Shut it Grey," replied Alex, finally looking up. His expression was a strange mixture of amusement, annoyance and embarrassment. "It's your turn anyway. Why are you up here? Spill."
Meredith sighed and nodded her head, her features instantly growing somber again. She leaned back to rest against the rough surface of the brick wall behind them, and closed her eyes. "Hiding," she murmured quietly.
"From Shepherd?"
It was her turn to shrug her shoulders as well. "Sort of…it's a long story." She pressed a hand to her forehead, sweeping her long bangs back and away from her face.
Alex's voice was uncharacteristically gentle. "I like long stories." Meredith turned and raised an eyebrow at him. Her eyes were hesitant and uncertain, and she fidgeted anxiously with the tie of her scrubs while she searched his face.
"I'm pregnant," she mumbled, the words soft and almost lost even in the silence of the hallway. She wasn't quite sure why she was telling him, she just knew that she was growing desperate for an opinion beyond the two she'd been confined to for the past few weeks. Izzie had been delighted when Meredith told her she was keeping the baby, and was almost frightening in how sympathetic she was being; smuggling home an arsenal of baby books (that Meredith had yet to even touch), and managing to somehow both distract George and hold back Meredith's hair nearly every time she had to throw up. Cristina had been skeptical at best, but she'd cut out the dermatology jokes and was doing her best to be supportive, limiting herself to only a stray sarcastic comment or two. Still…their opinions were practically etched in stone. Meredith knew their replies without even having to ask, and she needed something different. And so, still fidgeting with the hem of her scrubs, she turned to face Alex.
His eyes were filled with shock, and he let out a low whistle. "Shit…you're serious?"
Meredith nodded her head. "Yeah, two months," she said, a humorless smile flashing briefly across her face. "And I'm keeping it, because…" she paused and laughed disbelievingly, the sound as empty as her smile. "Apparently I'm stupid…or I like pain…or something. So…I don't exactly want to see Derek right now," she continued, her voice quiet and a little bit shaky.
"What? Is that bastard mad at you?" Alex's whole body grew rigid, as if something angry buried deep inside him had been stirred by her words. "If he is, I swear to god Meredith…"
"No," she said quickly, cutting him off. Alex's indignation on her behalf turned her voice very small, and she looked away down the dark and empty hallway. "It's just…I haven't told him yet."
"You haven't told him?" Meredith didn't answer, but simply shook her head. "Are you going to tell him?"
She turned back to Alex, her green eyes grown pale and haunting. She licked her lips before answering. "Probably." The word was a whisper; a single strained sound that hung in the air.
"Well are you leaving?" There was something almost heavy and accusing in his voice.
"What?" asked Meredith, frowning at him. She had never known Alex to be so inquisitive.
"Leaving the hospital? Transferring?"
She shook her head, running a finger along the worn fabric of the gurney. She had played that exact scenario over in her mind several times, never managing to achieve a satisfactory solution. "I'm in the best surgical internship in Seattle." She looked up helplessly at Alex. "I'd have to move out of state for an equivalent program, and my mom… I can't leave her, but I don't know how I'd move her." Meredith bit down on her lip, her eyes clouding over. "A big change like that? She's bad enough already these days, so…" Her voice trailed off as she yanked at one of the gurney's many frayed threads.
"So you guess you're staying," finished Alex, when Meredith made no attempt to resume speaking.
"I guess I'm staying," she agreed quietly.
"And what? You want him to find out by coming into work one day three months from now and suddenly realizing his old girlfriend looks like a truck?"
Her mouth dropped open, and for an instant she looked horrified. "No," she moaned, burying her face in her hands. "I don't know what I want. It's going to make things so weird. Besides, he doesn't want kids, Alex. Not after the whole cheating wife thing."
"He said that?"
"Yeah," she mumbled, her voice muffled by her palm. "I asked him why he and Addison don't…"
"Hey," interrupted Alex, cutting her off. "Just because he doesn't want to father the antichrist, doesn't mean anything."
"The antichrist? Seriously Alex?" Meredith lifted her head back up, not quite sure whether to look incredulous or entertained.
Alex raised his hands defensively. "Just trying to stick with the whole Satan theme you guys gave the She-Shepherd."
Meredith snorted in disbelief. "Right."
"Look," continued Alex, sounding surprisingly earnest as he turned on the gurney to face her. "I think the guy's an arrogant ass for what he did to you. But, he deserves to know he's having a kid."
His words were met with a long silence, full of Meredith staring at the ground, avoiding his eyes. Finally she sighed and shook her head. "I know," she said quietly. "He does. It's just…I don't know how to tell him. You know?" Alex shrugged, and once again leaned forward to grab the chips Meredith had been eating.
"Just blurt it out," he said as he popped one in his mouth. "Like you did with me. Makes for a nice shock. Or…" he paused, a wicked smirk curving its way across his face. "Say it in front of Satan. Ask her for an ultrasound for your baby, and then sit back and watch all hell break loose." He wiggled his eyebrows at Meredith, looking very pleased with himself, but she simply scowled in return.
"No. Not happening." Alex just laughed and crammed some more chips into his mouth. "Seriously Alex, she can't know," insisted Meredith, sounding slightly frantic. "You can't say a word."
Picking up on the wild light in her eyes, Alex nodded. "Okay, okay," he placated. "Relax Grey. I'm not ratting you out to the She-Shepherd."
"Thank you Alex," she murmured, closing her eyes and letting her head drop down to rest against her knees.
He tilted the bag of chips upside-down, emptying the rest of its contents into his mouth, before reaching out and mussing Meredith's hair with a greasy hand. "Yeah. Well…I figure you can make a big enough mess of it on your own."
"Wow," said Meredith, finally looking up and rolling her eyes. "You're even more reassuring than Cristina." Alex just laughed, and the corner of Meredith's mouth twitched up into a slight smile.
"I am, aren't I?"
She nodded and the two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence that lasted several minutes. Alex had a bizarre way of calming her down, and Meredith found herself feeling far less tense than she had when she'd curled up in the empty hallway over an hour earlier. Finally Alex glanced down at his watch, and scooted forward on the gurney.
"Seven o'clock. Time to go," he said happily. "You heading out now too?" he continued as he got to his feet.
Meredith sighed reluctantly and shook her head. "I wish. I'm on call."
"Oh okay," he agreed. "Try and get some sleep though," he added, his voice only slightly teasing despite the utter impossibility of getting a good night's sleep while on call. "For the little guy."
Meredith was halfway to rolling her eyes again, but she stopped herself and simply smiled back at him. "Yeah…thanks Alex." He gave her a brief nod of his head, supplemented by a fleeting grin. Reluctantly, Meredith picked up her forgotten stack of labs and fished her pen out of her pocket. She was just about to start writing, when Alex paused in the hallway and cleared his throat. Meredith looked up expectantly. "Yeah?"
"For what it's worth," he said, running a hand over his short hair. "If it were my kid?" He was looking at Meredith intently, his voice completely serious. "I wouldn't care how fucking complicated knowing would make things. I'd still want to know."
Meredith couldn't seem to find her voice, and so she just nodded. Their eyes locked in a brief moment of understanding, before Alex started back down the hall and she returned to her mountain of paperwork.
-----
It was late at night by the time Meredith finally got a chance to wander towards the on call rooms. Her legs felt heavy, as if her bones had been removed and replaced with lead, making every step something close to agony. She sighed and pulled her hair out of its ponytail, before pushing open the door to the nearest on call room. It was dark and she unthinkingly reached for the light switch, flooding the room with a cheap yellow-white glow.
"Oh shit…sorry," she muttered, her bleary eyes just able to make out the shape of someone sitting up in bed, blinking unhappily in the sudden light.
"Meredith?" The voice was low and familiar, and stopped her from backing completely out the door.
Meredith rubbed a hand over her eyes, bringing the man in front of her slowly into focus. "Derek?" He was running a hand through the dark messy strands of his hair, his own eyes still adjusting to the sudden change in light. "Sorry…" she stammered. "I didn't realize you were in here…that anyone was in here really. I was just so tired." She shook her head, her cheeks flushing. "And seriously, I didn't even know you were on call tonight. I'm sorry." Derek just laughed. He was fully awake now, and honestly a little bit amused by the sight of Meredith rambling and wringing her hands together as she stood in the doorway.
"Mer, it's okay."
"No…sorry." She shook her head again. "I'm just gonna go."
His voice was an instant contradiction. "Stay."
"What?" Meredith turned back to look at him, her hand still hovering over the doorknob. Their eyes locked, full of something shared and guilty, which they both promptly ignored.
Derek cleared his throat. "There's another bed," he continued quickly, gesturing towards the second bed squeezed into the small room. Its covers were made; a perfect display of crisp hospital folds. Two pillows rested at the head of the bed, and it spoke of sleep and warmth. Meredith twisted to stretch her tired muscles, trying not to stare at it too hungrily.
Her voice was slow and uncertain. "I…shouldn't."
"You should." He grinned at her, a mischievous glint suddenly sparking in the blue depths of his eyes.
"Derek…" Meredith's voice was low and unamused as she folded her arms over her chest, daring him to explain how this could possibly be appropriate.
"It's just a bed Meredith," said Derek, apparently doing his best to rise to the challenge. "And we're both adults. Besides, it's late, and all the other rooms are probably full." Meredith rolled her eyes at that, knowing that she would probably need to walk just another ten to twenty steps down the hall to find an empty room. Still, her feet felt heavy, and she couldn't bring herself to just walk away. She sighed reluctantly, shrugging her shoulders, but not answering. "Please…just stay Meredith." The plea in his voice was barely disguised, and it was that more than anything else that got her to nod her head.
"It's just a bed," she agreed quietly.
"Exactly."
They frowned at each other, choosing to bypass the lie inherent in their words. Meredith slipped off her lab coat, folding it with more precision than usual before placing it on the lone chair in the room. Derek had dropped his own white coat unceremoniously onto the floor. His eyes followed her, a smile flickering across his lips, as she slipped off her clogs and moved to turn off the light. She shuffled cautiously forward in the dark, feeling for the bed with her hand before dropping down onto it. Slipping beneath the covers, a low grateful moan escaped her lips as the bed gave easily beneath her.
"You're tired," observed Derek, his voice sounding surprisingly close in the darkness.
"Yeah," agreed Meredith softly. She turned over, adjusting both the pillow and the blankets several times before laying still. "Goodnight Derek…"
"Goodnight Meredith…"
Their voices trailed off, sounding thin and insubstantial when compared to the last time they had wished each other goodnight through the darkness. Then everything had been a warm tangle of limbs--their bodies bare and glistening with the remaining sheen of sex and sweat. Goodnight had been this low and husky song; spoken on lips that brushed against skin as they moved, filled with laughter and something that Meredith had called love. Now the contrast made her feel cold and lonely, and she shivered as she rolled over once more, turning so that her back was towards Derek. She couldn't sleep. She shouldn't have agreed to lay down. Every second she grew nothing but more awake. He was too close and too far from her in the same moment, and Meredith dug her teeth into her lower lip to keep from bursting into sudden, unwelcome tears. She lay perfectly still, willing herself to rest until she couldn't tolerate it any longer. Meredith rolled back over, her eyes wide to the darkness as she stared unseeingly in his direction.
"Derek?" Her voice wavered as she spoke, filled with the tears she was holding back.
The bed groaned beneath the shifting of his body, and moments later he answered. "Yeah?"
"Are you awake?" She rolled her eyes at the stupidity of that question the moment it made it past her lips.
"Yeah Mer," said Derek, his amused smile evident in the tone of his voice.
"Oh…okay," whispered Meredith, straining to keep her own voice at something that could pass for normal. "Me too."
"Yeah, I kinda guessed that."
"Yeah…"
She let them lapse into silence again. The velvety darkness felt oppressive, and Meredith flung an arm over her eyes even as a tear slipped past her defenses, burning as it rolled down her skin. Both of them lay listening to the sound of each other breathing; neither approaching anything close to sleeping. Meredith was practically shuddering with the effort of pretending everything was normal and that she had nothing more to do than sleep. Alex's voice was playing over and over again inside her head. I wouldn't care how fucking complicated knowing would make things. I'd still want to know. It was a weight in her mind that seemed to weigh most heavily against her tongue, coaxing her to give in and speak. And finally she did, roughly wiping the stinging tears from her eyes before clearing her throat.
"Derek, I have to tell you something." She spoke quickly; her words tumbling together as if she were struggling to get them out before she lost her nerve.
He had been caught up in his own thoughts, but was far from sleep as well, so his reply was instantaneous. "Okay."
"A big something," she continued awkwardly. "Seriously…big. Huge. Scary." Her voice quavered, and she squeezed her eyes shut, still fighting to act like a calm rational adult and not burst into tears. She didn't understand the overwhelming urge to cry that had filled her, but it was burning her throat and her eyes, making her feel hot, dizzy and conflicted. "I don't know how to tell you," she continued, her voice thin and edged in fear. "But, I think you should know. So…so…I'm just going to say it." She barely realized it, but she was desperately trying to prepare Derek for what she was about to say.
"Meredith?" His voice was hesitant and uncertain, but it was filled with a gentleness as familiar as his arms around her. "What's wrong?"
She shook her head fiercely, holding back for one last second. But the darkness hid her face and gave her something to cling to. Meredith stared wildly at the ceiling, one hand pressed to her hot tear-stained face. "Derek, I'm pregnant," she said, nearly choking on the words.
A silence as bold as the darkness filled the room, and though it was barely two seconds long, it felt endless to Meredith. Derek wasn't saying anything, and that was enough to send her spiraling outward, tears spilling unchecked down her cheeks.
"You're pregnant?" When he spoke, his voice was filled with disbelief, but it slowly swung its way towards awe. "Meredith? You're having my baby?" She nodded her head, but the gesture was wasted in the shadows. "Meredith?" His voice was more urgent this time, and it prompted her to reply.
"Yes." The sound broke in the middle, turning into a sob. Even as she gasped and started to cry, Meredith found herself thinking of how much she hated the person she'd become…this weak, pathetic girl who was shuddering with tears simply because Derek was a bed away from her, and she didn't know what he was thinking. Her tears felt bitter and unnecessary, but she couldn't seem to hold them back.
"Meredith, don't cry," said Derek softly, attempting to calm her. "Please…shhh…it's okay." But his words were lost beneath the uneven sound of her breathing and the quavering of her voice. Meredith curled into a ball, exhaustion and the overwhelming release of emotions due to finally confessing leaving her close to irrational. She knew nothing concrete until she felt the bed shift and a body fit in next to hers. "Meredith…" murmured Derek, pulling her into his arms. He pressed his lips to her hair, marveling at how perfectly her arms still wrapped around his neck. She buried her face in his chest, soaking his scrubs almost instantly. "It's okay. Breathe…just breathe." Derek could feel her racing heart against his own chest, and so he clasped her small hand in his and brought it between them, feeling unsure of how to calm her. "Mer breathe," he tried again, and felt her move closer to him. He responded instinctively, enveloping her tiny frame completely in his arms. He ran a hand up and down the length of her back, his voice whispering low in her ear.
Finally, she grew calmer. Tears stopped spilling from her eyes, and her breathing returned to something close to normal. She sniffled, and pulled her hand away from his to wipe at her eyes. "Sorry," she whispered, and her breath tickled his neck.
"What? No, don't be. Why are you sorry?"
"You have a wife," muttered Meredith darkly. "You don't need to be dealing with all of…this." She shrugged her shoulders, and the motion was trapped between them, felt in both their bodies.
"No," said Derek, his thumb reaching out and wiping at her tears. "I do need to be dealing with all of this." Meredith sighed, simply relishing the feeling of the edge of his thumb grazing down the curve of her cheek. She didn't want to speak. She didn't even want to move. All she wanted to do was lie there and pretend that things were as simple as they seemed in that moment--that nothing existed beyond herself and Derek. But finally, she forced herself to speak again.
"Derek…you're not mad? That I told you…that…?" She sounded weak and in desperate need of reassurance.
Derek had still been drying her tears, and his hands moved now to cup her face. "No," he said fiercely, an undercurrent of disbelief running through his voice. "Meredith…never."
"Okay…" she answered, her speech reverting to a whisper.
Derek's hands drifted from where they rested alongside Meredith's face, moving to trace the warm outline of her lips. The curving path of her mouth was something etched in his memory, and he didn't need light to guide his hand. As his thumb danced over and over along that familiar path, they both moved instinctively, legs shifting to bring their bodies closer together. Their breathing slowed and became synchronized. "You're having my baby," Derek said quietly. His voice was pure awe--low and reverential.
"Yes…" breathed Meredith.
Without thinking, they both moved to eliminate what little was left of the space between them. Derek's thumb lifted away from her mouth, replaced by the sudden press of his lips against hers. Meredith reached up, her hands running through the thick messy curls of his hair, pulling him down to her. Their mouths opened wider, every motion of their tongues hungry and searching. Their eyes were open in the darkness as if desperate to see all that they could of each other. Meredith untangled her hands from Derek's hair, shifting them down and beneath his shirt. She ran them across the smooth skin of his back, relishing the feel of his muscles moving just beneath the surface as she pulled his shirt off. Somehow she lost her top as well, and Derek's hand pressed against her still flat stomach as he whispered her name. She reached down and lay her hand over his, their fingers intertwining and holding tight for a moment.
But soon, Derek's teeth had found her neck and his hands drifted downward to climb up the curve of her thigh. Meredith moaned as the pressure of him against her eliminated all thought from her mind. She knew nothing save for the fact that her skin burned wherever he touched her, that his fingers raked through her hair and pulled her hips towards him in a way that was achingly familiar.
And so it took a long time for the sound of the pager to register. It had to find its way past the ragged sound of breathing that filled their ears. It had to distract them from the business of untying scrubs and shedding clothing. It had to become more important than their need to feel each other again; their suddenly frantic desire to relearn every forgotten taste and touch. It took a long time, but the beeping was insistent, and finally it broke through.
"Damn it…" hissed Meredith, pulling away from Derek before she fully realized what she was responding to. But as she shifted away from him to grab her pager, the truth of what they had been about to do hit her hard. She stumbled in the dark, cursing loudly, before making it to the light switch and turning it on with a sudden upward thrust of her hand. Her eyes were frantic, and she refused to meet Derek's as she bent down to grab her scrubs.
"Meredith…" His voice was insistent, and her body was still flushed from the warmth of him. The combination forced her to pause in the midst of pulling on her pants.
"Derek, we shouldn't have been doing that," she said, sounding both angry and confused. She turned towards where he had sat up in bed, her eyes going immediately to the gold ring around his finger. Meredith felt a note of panic awaken in her heart, and she nearly spat out the words, saying, "Baby or not, you're married." She was dressing as she spoke, and so missed the flicker of pain that caused in Derek's eyes.
"Meredith…" She shook her head, shoving her feet into her shoes and grabbing her lab coat off the chair. "Mer, please."
Meredith glanced up at him. "What?"
"Stay," he pleaded for the second time that night. She shot him an incredulous look, and he moved to elaborate. "A few minutes…you can't answer a page like that." He had a point. Her eyes were still bloodshot from crying. Her clothing was terribly askew at best, her hair wild, and her lips swollen--screaming of unfinished sex.
"I don't have a choice Derek," said Meredith, her gaze once again returning to her pager. "My patient is coding…was coding. He's probably going to be dead by the time I get there, unless the nurses think of something creative." She yanked open the door. "I can't stay."
"Fine. Go," agreed Derek. "Just…come back." His voice was uncertain, thrown off by the sudden tension coursing through her. Meredith hesitated a moment longer, turning back to look at Derek. His hair was nearly standing up straight and his eyes were intense, but her gaze settled on his bare chest and the long red lines her nails had left there. She had almost slept with Derek. With married Derek. She would have slept with him if her pager hadn't gone off. The knowledge that she hadn't hesitated for even a second filled her with a sharp pang of guilt.
"We…" she whispered, shaking her head. Derek was watching her expectantly as her eyes clouded with panic and uncertainty. Her voice was faint, nearly nonexistent. "I have to go." And Meredith turned once more towards the door, taking off at a run towards her patient.
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Okay, so…Derek found out. Finally. That was the most fun I've had this whole story. Seriously. The whole four in the morning thing I was talking about earlier? I would've gone to bed for any other chapter, but come on…Derek was finding out! Who needs sleep? Not me! So yes, thoughts…umm, starting with the Alex bit first. On the show, I adore the Mer and Alex friendship. I just love Alex. He's right up there, just beneath Mer/Der on my love list. So, I wanted a scene with Mer and Alex. And he has his own daddy issues, so that idea of Derek being upset with Mer at all over the baby instantly set him off. At the same time, he also feels strongly that the guy deserves to know. And I think Alex has a point. Derek does deserve to know. Still, he's very fond of Mer, so he wasn't going to go and "tell" on her. He just gave her his opinion, which proved to be helpful for her because so far, she's only had the opinions of other women. And while they wanted her to tell Derek too, they were easier to ignore because they weren't from a guy's perspective. Alex's words could apply directly to Derek, and they did…finally making her talk.
And yes…Meredith and Derek. Umm…hi. They almost had sex. I didn't know how to put the two of them alone in a dark room in the middle of the night, in the middle of angst and tears and their baby, and not have something happen. I mean…it's Meredith and Derek after all. Mer doesn't know why she keeps crying over the whole baby thing, especially talking to Derek, but she does and bam…she just starts sobbing hysterically. And Derek, he actually steps up and comforts her…says the right things, gets her to stop with the hysteria. Because he's there. He's not storming out, he's not yelling, he's not bringing up his obligation to Addison, he's not even upset. He's making it all about Mer. He's not doing any of the things she had imagined him doing. And seriously? Derek? So just…amazed about the idea of Meredith having his baby. He's in awe of it. He's overwhelmed and still wrapping his head around things himself, but at the heart of it, he loves the idea of her having his baby.
After all that, one thing leads to another and their bodies can't not fall back together again. But Mer gets yanked out by her pager, and almost comes out of a daze to find herself barely dressed and thisclose sleeping with Derek. She's overwhelmed, freaked out, guilty all over again… And in the end, the one who ends up running out of that room isn't Derek at all. It's Meredith. (And that is going to be very important throughout the story…umm…thematically. I think that's how the English class people would describe it.)
Okay…I think I made up for the short pre-ramble with the mighty long post-ramble. I'm not sure if I'll update this one until after Christmas because I want to finish my Christmas one before Christmas for obvious reasons. But this one will probably have a new chapter the day after Christmas. (Boxing Day….woo! Does anyone even call it that anymore?) So yeah, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all! Thanks for reading!
