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Why is Love so Hard to Find?
written by:
hikari - aozora
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xxo0oxx
Author's Note: I love the fact that I'm getting such good reviews already! I got three reviews and almost 40 hits just in the first couple of hours or so after it was posted, and it was posted pretty late at night. So far, all of the reviews I've gotten have been positive, which is pretty sweet, considering I said don't hold back. Either the story really was good, or I've been lucky enough not to have any flamers read it yet. Ah, but I'm sure the time will come. I've yet to recieve a flame but, I assure you, they will come. All those fanatics out there who are really picky about things ...
So I got a few questions about how Roxas is going to fit into the story and why Namine and her friends have grown so distant. Well, I think I explained how they grew distant in the last chapter, or the gist of it, anyway, but that will clear up as the story progresses. As for Roxas ... well, you'll just have to read and find out, wont you? He will be in there, don't worry. I know it looks like he doesn't even exist, based on the first chapter, but Namine just hasn't met him yet. She will, of course. I mean, afterall, the second genre is romance, and I said it was a Namine x Roxas story so ... just hang tight.
I look forward to more positive reviews, and I hope that the rate of reviews per hits increases, too. If you read it, I would appreciate a review, no matter how brief. Compliment me or criticize my work. I don't mind either. You're entitled to your opinion, after all.
Look at that, three paragraphs of ramblings! (I must get it from my dad. He's worse than me at it!) Might as well get on with the story! It's food for your creative, KH-loving side! Bon apatite XD!
xxo0oxx
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, and/or Disney characters used in this story. I merely own the plot of the story and any OC's that may end up stuck in there somewhere. Chances are, I'll run out of pre-used characters and will have to make up my own, so ... heads up.
xxo0oxx
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xxo0oxx
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Chapter Two
The lunchtime ramblings were pointless, as usual.
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I dropped my black, colorless lunchbox onto the octagonal table and dusted off a seat with my hand, plopping down into it shortly after. A sigh escaped my lips. 'Finally,' I thought, 'the day's halfway over.'
I unzipped the container and pulled out its contents. A sandwich. Pretzels. V8 juice. A package of 100-calorie cookies. Simple, but satisfying.
Unlike other things.
Or maybe I was just too hungry to care.
The first two periods of the day had not amounted to anything. The teachers introduced themselves, of cource, and rambled on and on about what we were going to accomplish this year and the like, making sure to include a you-will-need-this-and-that, have-your-parent-slash-guardian-sign-this-and-bring-it-back, and oh-that's-the-bell-have-a-great-first-day. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Or maybe I was just too uninterested to care.
"Hey."
I looked to my right, and there stood Rikku and Selphie, scanning the triple-tiered cafeteria as they set their things down for signs of another friend to recruit to our table.
Speaking of the table ...
"Assigned tables this year," I said with a groan, pointing to the hot-pink notecard taped to the center of the octagonal lunch table, bearing the number 36. "Part of their new 'ingenious' plan to prevent food fights." I rolled my eyes at the mention of the emphasized word. "Sorry guys ... Choir has this one."
Rikku shook her head and grinned. "Nope," she said. I cocked my head in confusion. 'No?' "Life Skills and Choir share this one. Blanton says so."
I looked to Selphie, who nodded in agreement, and smiled before turning back to my lunch. "That's cool."
The metal legs of the chairs clanked and squealed as they slid against the tile floor of the cafeteria ... away from the table, toward the table ... and they were filled. There were three of us now occupying it, the zziipp of a insulated box, the rustle of a paper sack, the crackle of a styrofoam tray, and Selphie's occasional oddly-timed giggle taking the place of conversation, for now.
It was Rikku who broke the ice.
"Sooo ... Namine," she began, shifting in her seat enough to face me, "Whatcha got next period?"
I paused, trying to remember as I dangled a pretzel in front of my face, halfway to my mouth. Shoving it in quickly, I reached into the pocket of my khaki pants and pulled out a crumpled-up piece of blue paper. Unfolding it, I slapped it on the table, dragging my finger down one of the creases until I came to the number 4. "Wright," I said, swallowing the pretzel mush in my mouth to read off the name. "US History."
"Ooh, me too!" Riku said as she read the name to herself. "I think Yuna has it next, also ..." She swivelled in the other direction. "How bout you, Selph?"
"Nah, I got Algebra," she said in an unusually chipper voice. "Only time they offer that class. Since I'm a year behind you guys, ya know. Had to either drop you guys' History or Science class. I flipped a coin." She crunched down on a potato chip.
"Oh," Rikku and I said in unison. I returned my schedule to my pocket, lifted my sandwich to my lips and added, "That sucks."
Rikku sighed.
Selphie giggled.
Munch.
"Speaking of Yuna," Rikku said, gesturing with her right hand, which just happened to be holding an unopened chocolate milk carton, "any idea where she is?"
"Hmm," Selphie actually looked like she was thinking for a moment, and then she shrugged. "I dunno."
Giggle.
Rikku looked at me for an answer, and I held up my index finger in response, signifying that I was still chewing. She just stared at me the whole time, as did Selphie, and I can just imagine how strange they must have looked to other people, concentrating so hard on the every movement of some girl ingesting her lunch. Stifiling a laugh at the thought, for fear that I might choke on my sandwich, I swallowed.
"Band," I said.
"Oh."
They knew what that meant, so there was no point in explaining further. Yuna was in Symphonic Band, the top band in our middle school. Symphonic Band was always in session during the lunch period, and they always ate at C lunch ... the last lunch. Yuna hadn't had A lunch with the rest of us since sixth grade.
"Stupid Band," Rikku said monotonously.
Apparently, Selphie found it funny.
Now, if this had been sixth grade and I had still played clarinet for the band, I would have been offended by that remark. But this was eighth grade now. I was no longer a naive sixth grader and I had long since dropped the instrument to stay in Choir. Besides, I had been friends with Rikku long enough to know she didn't really mean it.
We ate in silence for a while, concentrating more on the taste of our food than each other's company. Every now and then, Selphie would giggle, the sounds muffled and broken as if she were trying to control her fits, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. We would shoot glances at each other every now and then to stare, as if expecting a reaction, but when the other turned their head we would once again busy ourselves with eating, as if nothing had ever happened. We would have talked, but it seemed that, at the moment, there was nothing interesting to talk about. Girls and guys at identical tables across from our own chatted amongst themselves -- the lunchtime ramblings were pointless, as usual ... it wasn't hard to overhear them at the volume they were shouting -- sqeezing more people into the circle of chairs around their table than was previously advised, occasionally making a trip to tables such as ours to grab unused chairs. They were loud ... the cafeteria was very, very loud ... yet at our table, it was awkwardly silent. Just the three of us, eating our lunch in crowded solitude.
And then ...
"Oh my god!" Selphie exclaimed, slamming her fist on the table, startling Rikku and I.
"What?" we both asked, jerking our heads in her direction, shocked expressions on our faces. She'd said it like she was in mortal danger, practically screamed it.
"Nothing." And she erupted into a fit of giggles.
I pursed my lips and watched Rikku roll her eyes, turning to me and shaking her head in response. Then she smiled, as did I, even if it was a little bit forced, looking straight at me until her eyes strayed to gaze at something past me. Her smile fell.
"Well it's about time you showed up, Paine," she said.
I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough, there she was, strolling down the ramp from the second tier and then nonchalantly over to our table, carrying a lunch tray, book clamped underneath it in one hand. She was dressed in her customary black attire -- belts and chains hanging from random places -- her lips fixed in a permanent frown, beady red eyes set in a glare, noticably longer hair set atop her head, slicked every which-way. She rolled her eyes at Rikku and bared her teeth in what I assumed to be a smile, but what turned out to be more of a snarl-type expression.
"Always at the very end of the lunchline," Rikku said with a triumphant grin -- though what she had to be triumphant about I didn't entirely understand -- earning a growl from Paine.
"Yeah, well ... whatever," the girl replied.
God, she used to be completely different.
Paine slammed her tray -- which consisted of a mere slice of pizza and a carton of milk -- down on the table and slid into a chair, leaning back in it and crossing her feet over a corner of the table. She snatched the carton of milk from the table, jammed a red-striped plastic straw into it, and began slurping its contents. She slid her book out from under the tray (something by Robin Cook, I didn't catch the title, the author's name was in much larger font) flipped to a page near the middle, and began reading, tuning us out without so much as a, "Don't bother me."
I looked at the practically empty tray and took into consideration how she neglected what food was actually on it. Stealing a quick glance at Rikku and Selphie, who were sitting on the edge of their seats, perfectly still, staring at Paine, I looked back to the girl and asked, "Aren't you hungry?"
"No," she replied curtly, not even bothering to look out from behind her book.
"So ... you're not going to eat?"
"No."
"Not at all --?"
"Damn it, Namine!" She slammed her book down on the table and stared angrily at me. "What, did you just decide to get more annoying over the summer?"
Her words ... they should have hurt like hell, but I had long since grown comfortably numb to emotional pain.
Yet, for some reason, I missed the feeling. 'Man, what's wrong with me?"
And she wasn't finished.
"What part of 'I'm not hungry' don't you get?" she roughly inquired.
"Geez, Paine, I was just asking."
"Don't," she said, leaning back again. Then, she sat back up, leaning right over her lunch tray, as if searching it for something.
'Like there's any place for something to hide ...'
Still, she picked up the slice of pizza, looked under it, and set it back down. Then she proceded to lift the entire tray, all the while I exchanged confused looks with Rikku and Selphie, both arching one eyebrow as I was. When we turned our attention back to Paine, she shot up out of her seat.
"Damn," she said. "Forgot the chocolate."
"Umm ..."
"I'll be back," she said, stepping to the side of her chair but not pushing it in. She turned to leave, but before she did, whisked back around and pointed a sickeningly straight finger at the three of us. "Don't touch it," she snapped. Then, spinning on her heel, she was gone.
I didn't have to ask. I knew what.
And then I heard Selphie giggle.
My heart rate speeding up, I tore my gaze from Paine's figure in the distance and looked down to her tray. Everything looked in order ... but something was missing ...
Giggle.
'Oh no ...'
Gulping, I fixed a nervous gaze on Selphie, who was staring back at me with a stupid grin plastered on her face. She was sitting just as she had been before, save the fact that her hands were now hidden underneath the table top.
I was afraid to ask. "Selphie, you didn't ..."
Giggling again, she smiled wider, and slowly pulled her hand out from underneat the table, lifting it up into the air, relishing the sight of my eyes growing ever wider. There, grasped between her scrawny fingers, was Paine's book.
"Put it back, Selphie, put it back!" I ordered in a strained voice, reaching over Rikku as I frantically grasped for the book, but Selphie just laughed and shook her head in reply.
"No way!" she told me. "This is too much fun!"
"But Selphie! This is Paine we're talking about! If she finds out you touched it after --"
"Geez, chill out Namine!"
"It's Paine's book!"
"She's our friend, right?"
I didn't answer. I just stood up to extend my reach, but I still couldn't grab ahold of the book. I could have just gotten up out of my seat and taken it from her, but that would have caused too much of a scene. Besides, I was too worried to think about that, at the time. Honestly, the thought never crossed my mind.
"C'mon, Namine! Just once isn't going to hurt! I mean, what's the worst she could do? Whack me with the book?"
No, Paine was tougher than she looked. I was far from afraid of the girl, but I knew from experience what she was capable of. She could really cause someone pain if she wanted to, but I decided that explaining this to Selphie would be a real waste of time.
"Selphie!" I whined.
"Shh, you guys shut up!" Rikku ordered. "Sit back down, Namine! She's coming back! Selphie, quit waving that thing around --"
I immediately fell back into my seat and froze. Sure enough, Paine was headed back to the table, a Cosmic Brownie clenched in her fist. I tried my best not to look suspicious as I heard Selphie giggle and Rikku shift uneasily. Then, when a soft-cover book was thrust into my possession, my blood ran cold.
As Paine reached the table and noticed that her precious book was missing, she sighed, squinting to further empower her glare. I watched as her free hand twitched out of rage and then balled into a fist to rival the other one, which was now turning her Cosmic Brownie into chocolate mush. "Alright," she said, "who took it?"
Immediately, Selphie and Rikku placed their hands on the table, palms up, confident grins on their faces. Paine, after examining their hands quite carefully, focused all of her attention on me.
I swallowed hard. I'd been ratted out.
Slowly, I slid the book out from beneath the table and set it gently on top, smiling nervously at Paine as she made her way around the table to where I sat, never once taking her eyes off of me, even as she picked up the book and held it up next to her face.
And then, she whacked me upside the head ... with the book.
Mere seconds afterward, she was leaning backward in her seat, feet propped up on the table, ankles crossed, face hidden by a book, eating the chocolate icing peeled off of the Cosmic Brownie as if nothing had ever happened. I rubbed the back of my head and shot a glare at Selphie, who just smiled and giggled, of course.
I scowled. She could have done worse ... and strangely, I wished she had. Maybe ... maybe I could've compensated for something that way ...
Just then, Rikku elbowed me in my side. I turned to her and practically shouted, "What!" in her face.
"Geez, Nam, did it hurt that bad?"
I sighed. I couldn't help it. I was frustrated with them both. So I decided to try again. "What do you want?"
"I was just going to ask you if you thought it was odd that Paine was eating chocolate," she told me, hiking her thumb in Paine's direction, "you know, after she went off on you about not being hungry and all ... but nevermind."
Yeah, I thought it was a little odd, but what did I care? At least she'd be in a better mood. "Okay ..."
"Yeah. That was it."
"Mhmm ..."
"Yeah ..."
Silence.
Giggle.
More silence.
"Oh my god!"
I didn't fall for it again.
xxo0oxx
Author's Note: Another chapter down. I would have had it posted sooner, but I had a project in Global. For those of you who don't know what Global is ... it's English and History packed together in one 2-period course. Fun. Imagine someone saying that with their voice dripping with sarcasm and you'd have the gist of it. I worked on it piece by piece over the week, and I kind of found it hard to write in the first place ... I don't mean to scrutinize my own writing, but it's an entire chapter about lunch, for crying out loud!
Nevertheless, it was essential to write. From experience, I've realized that, when you sit down to eat lunch with your friends and talk (or not) about the day's happenings, gossip, and what not, personalities really become apparent. And that's really what I was trying to convey here. So, sorry if it was a bit boring and long, but I needed to really ground the personalities of the main characters and make their seperation -- both emotionally and physically -- from each other more apparent ... especially before I bring Roxas into the picture.
Speaking of Roxas, you'll get your first glimpse of him in the next chapter! I know, right? I'm sure you're all squealing with excitement right now ... of course ... 'cause we all love Roxas ... don't we?
Review, please! Seriously, I like reviews, and if they're honest, they're very helpful in the writing process ... besides being rather amusing at the same time. Tell me what you liked about it, what you hated about it, what I need to improve on, what you think about the characters, what you hope will be in future chapters, how it made you feel inside, whatever! Just review!
xxo0oxx
Next Chapter: Stalking strangers in the hallway is not something I do on a regular basis.
xxo0oxx