Chapter 3: Memories
Sometimes he wondered how she was now days. Five long years had passed since Hector had left Helen, as well as unknowingly his son (and heir) as well as his daughter.
Part of him wished he had given her a chance to explain herself when he had got there on that fateful morning. Had every thing been as it had seemed? If had there been he didn't know – a mistake. Some days he had even prayed what had gone on there that night had been rape, that Helen had been an innocent in Sparrow's clutches. That she hadn't wanted him.
Then he felt sick with himself for wanting to condemn the one he had loved to such cruelty. Although if she had slept with Sparrow willing, was rape any less than she deserved, sometimes he wondered.
It didn't take him long to realize after he had left her…. He had already thought of her, not as he had said on their last meeting a whore, but his wife.
His beloved.
The only comfort he had now was the sea, and he smiled with the thought that had and always would be enough for him. Until he got old, and unable to sail.
Who will you run to then, Barbossa? The wind seemed to whisper to him. Who will nurse you when you are sick?
Barbossa smirked at the thought of him needing nursing…it brought back a memory some times he would rather forget.
A young Helen walked through to the bedroom, tonics in her hand, and worry in her eyes.
She was no nurse, but she had been told how to try and ease Hector's pain, so she would try to help him none the less.
He had been in a battle at sea and even though the ship had come off worse than all the pirates put together, there were a great number of them injured and now stranded at Tortuga. That suited Helen down to the ground. It meant he was going to be close for quite some time and in her care.
Hector was clearly unfit to sail for now and so were many of the others. Only a few had come out unscathed. They had begun repairs on the Pearl.
There he lay in her bed, his eyes shut with fatigue, his entire body relaxed knowing just where he was and whom he was with. He was with Helen, she was close and he felt glad, for knowing his love was with him, though he did wish she didn't have to dress the ugly wound on his leg.
"If I do not do it, then some other women has too," she had said to him the night he had arrived, when he had foolishly trued to argue her trying nurse him back to health. "I am your women. I don't want another doing my duty." She had smiled.
With the gentlest of touches she undid the material that had bound his leg and begun bathing in, her eyes ever going too his face checking there was always an expression of relaxation and never of pain.
Once she had bathed it in a clear medicine, she took up the one which contained a green concoction. It had a evil smell, and the women she had brought it from had warned it may sting a little when it was applied to the wound.
"This one may hurt a little my love," she said to him giving him warning and he nodded but if it did hurt him then he did not show it to her, remaining in her eyes the most brave of all the pirates.
Once she had rebound his leg, though it was not wonderfully done (for she was no medic) she went up to the bed and lay down on her side of it.
His eyes opened, and a small smile crept on to his lips at the sight of her loving, loyal face. "Thank you my Helen," he said to her as he in his pain still moved his arm to cup her cheek wanting to feel her. "You are a good nurse."
"I don't know about that." She said as she observed his face. He had a huge gash on it, and looked sorer than his leg had been. But there was nothing she could do for it but bath it in water and keep it clean.
"I do." He said to her.
She stifled a embarrassed laugh and kept herself propped up by her arms so she was looking at his face.
He was rather handsome at times she thought to herself. Due to the fact he was in the sun so much, his face was bronzed, and his hair was a golden brown colour as was his beard. Was it any wondered she had fallen in love with him?
And his eyes…they were wicked, so intense and dark, as if they had been given him by the devil himself. And they entranced her. Made her want to see what went on behind them. Made her want to know more about him…more about his love.
"You've wicked eyes, you know," she told him and he nodded as he took one of her hands in his, brought it to his month and kissed it, savouring every touch of her warm flesh.
"Hector…" she said to him.
"Yes?"
"Do you think it would put you in much pain if I were to cuddle you?" she asked.
His eyes became masked with affection for the twenty year old. They had only being 'together' for six months and during them he had found her ever so innocent. Some times angry, and some times troubled, but always innocent.
"No Helen, I think that would help heal me," he said to her as he open up one arm and allowed her to put her head on his chest. The sound of his beating heart soothed her, and the love he could feel from her, did indeed help his recovery.
Hector let the wind blow through his hair. It was no longer golden brown but a grey. It had been fading ever since they had taken the Aztec gold.
He hated this thing he now was. Nor dead, nor alive. He could feel nothing. He could taste nothing, and it embittered him further. Some days he longed for Helens love… others for her death. Some times he did not think of her at all, but when he did, it was never with indifference.
To himself he could not deny the fact. Whatever the reason, he still felt a passion for Helen, and always would.
-
The five of them sat on the beach. Helen, Emily, Emily's own six month old child, and the now four going on five twins.
Jane and Hector, to their mother, between them had every good point of their father and some of his worse traits too.
Jane had grown in to a petite form, with golden brown hair and her father's sharp intense eyes. She could run, making mischief all day, or would if her mother allowed her too, and when Emily took her in for a swim she loved the sea. She had no care for her mother's fear of it, which she had not picked up on; her love for it was so strong. She was devious to, and the brains of any plan her and her brother came up with to cause havoc even at such a young age.
Hector was already a tall boy who would no doubt stand at tall as his father when he was older. He had his mothers brown locks and eyes, though his really did gleam with excitement for life. He had inherited just as his sister had there papas love for the sea, though he preferred to sail then to be swimming in it as his sister did. Emily's husband, Andrew, had a small dingy boat and when he went out to sea he often took Hector, for the boy had no father to take him.
As she watched the two of them play together she smiled. Some times the twins fought like cat and dog. They were both as stubborn as there parents and they had a great sense of pride already, just as she and their father had. They would be honourable, Helen was determined of that.
She hoped they didn't fight with their lover like she had fought with Hector when they grew up to have lovers (though that was a long way off). They were still only babies to there mother.
She smirked as she remembered one of the more memorable fights she had had with their father.
"You were looking at her Hector, don't tell me you were not because I know you were, I saw you were!" a furious Helen raged as they got back to her house.
"Nay, I was not my little sweetheart." He said in a patronizing tone, "How could I look at any one else when I had you there in the tavern on my arm, the most beautiful girl in the room."
Hector smirked. He loved it when he got her all fired up. He thought it was rather funny, and definitely very passionate. The rows drove his need and want of her.
Just the way she thought it was funny at times to tease him about what she got up to when he was away. And that she knew put a real fire in to his soul.
They both had humongous jealous streaks when it came to one another and the thought if any one else touching the other both horrified and broke them emotionally. Hector would rather see Helen dead he some times thought than in the arms of another man, another lover.
"Stop lying!" she said as she picked up glass from the table where she had left it before they had gone out and throw at him.
Helen smirked as she sae for her it was quite a good shot, and just missed his ear.
"That could have hit me!" he said to her.
"Good because it was meant to!"
He began laughing at her anger which only intensified it further.
"Why are you laughing at me?" she asked, demanding the answer by the mere anger in her voice. He knew she hated it when he laughed at her.
"Because I know I can, because I know your mine." He gently said effectively defusing the situation.
Why that had come out he didn't really know. All he did know was he had an overwhelming desire to have her lips against his.
Walking from his side of the room to hers, he saw the fear in her eyes. The same fear she always had when he was close. That she was one day going to lose him.
"I didn't mean to hurt you my dear," he said to her. "Aye maybe make yer a bit jealous. But never hurt you." He told her.
"I know," she whispered to him as she let him wrap her arms round her waist. "I didn't even really want that glass to hit you. Well maybe a little bit," She said to him sarcastically.
"I know," He said as pushed his warm lips to hers and she responded by kissing him passionately in return.
Her hand went to the back of his neck and rested gently. How did he do it to her?Make her hate one minute and love the next.
His lips bore down on her skin savagely, as if he was always trying to get deeper in to her. As if he wanted to become a part of her. Little did he know, he already had.
Helen sighed. If only things hadn't gone the way they had but the one thing she did know was she could not do was change the past. No one could do that.
As she let the sun beat down on her, she smiled and enjoyed the warmth of it. She was living and breathing and deep down thought herself quite content to be a mother and friend.
Long years had passed since she had been a lover. She had not gone with any one since she had been Jack Sparrow.
Even though she knew it to be foolish, she looked to the horizon for the Pearl. It had not come to Tortuga in years or if it had then she had missed it.
No doubt Jack used a different dock now. She wished he didn't, for she was even beginning to long to see him so he could give her news of Hector, and some days she allowed her self to hope. It was a fool's hope, but hope none the less. She was not so cynical as she had been when she had been younger. She needed the hope to go on now. If she didn't have hope she had nothing.
What really broke her heart though, was the fact at times no longer could she recall Hector's face. It was only at certain times and when she looked at his children she saw it instantly, and in memories it was constant. But some times, she thought of that wild man she used to love and no image came to her head.
"Mama?" she heard her son say to her as he approached.
"Yes my sweet?" she asked as he lazily sat in to her arms, leaning in to her as the sun and warmth filled the little ones with warmth bringing with it tiredness.
"When I am big like Andrew can I go to sea and be a pirate?" he asked.
"If that is what you want," she said to him. If he went to se then there was a chance h may one day find his father, she thought to herself.
"And me too mama?" she heard Jane's voice.
"Yes. You can have a grand ship together." She smiled.
"And I shall be the Captain and Jane the first mate?" asked Hector. That was how it was when they were in the make believe games, in there stories.
"Yes and you shall together be the most feared pirates in the all Caribbean oceans." She said to them laughing.
"Helen," said Emily. "Such talk is not safe." She said to her.
"We live in Tortuga, which is notorious for its pirates, my friend." She said as she cradled her son and smile at her daughter.
"But still. Word is that the East India Trading company are trying to clear the world of those who even only mutter the word pirate." She said to her.
"All that is, is a far off tale." declared Helen, putting her child's hearts at rest who had been worried momentarily. They had no father, they couldn't lose their mother. "These waters have always belonged to pirates and they always will."
Emily was such a good girl though. She had ensured she had been wed before she had slept with and few.
There son was going to be a good sailor she thought. No pirate. And Helen knew she disapproved of the way she brought up her children at times but she couldn't help it. All she was trying to do was raise them in the way she thought there father would have wanted her too.
Helen didn't know how Emily could for ever stick to the rules. If she had lived like that she'd go mad. For sure, she thought to herself, that was Hector's influence on her.
-
Night had come once again and Helen shut the children's curtains.
"Well another day in Tortuga is over my darlings." She said as she turned and walked up in the gaps between the single beds and sat on the edge of Hector's. "Did you have a good time at the beach today?"
"Yes mama!" her son replied and she looked to her daughter.
Jane was deep in thought clearly and looked a little bit down.
"Are you ok?" she asked as she went over and sat on her bed.
"Mama?" said Jane, well more blurted out with a nervous short of tone in her voice.
"Yes."
"Why do me and Hector not have a papa?" she asked.
"You do," said Helen as she lifted hair to her daughter's head and begun gently comforting her by stroking her hair.
"Then where is he?" she asked.
"He is just away at the moment." She said feeling a pang of guilt. She had no idea where he was. If he was even alive any more.
You can not think like that, thought Helen to herself. That sort of thoughts will kill you.
"Andrew never leaves Emily and the baby." she sulked. All she had ever wanted was to know her papa and it had been on her mind so much lately confusing the little one.
"Did I do some thing bad? Is that why papa went away?" she asked.
"No, no my darling, what ever gave you that idea? What happened with papa, none of it was your or his fault. Neither of you must blame him for not being here, or yourselves. Some times you see children, things don't always go to plan no matter how much you want them too and when the moment is gone, you cane never get it back." She said to them. "Your papa loves you both I promise you where ever he is, we are in his thoughts and heart." She said to them. She knew it w s a lie as he didn't even know about them, but she had to say some thing to ease them. He would love them if he was given the chance, if he would give himself the chance. She knew that much.
"Do you think he is ever going to come back to us mama?" Jane asked.
"I don't know, but we can trust to hope, and I do." She said to her daughter. "Don't worry little one. If papa could be here with us, then he would be." She said as she tucked her in.
"Promise?" asked Hector. She knew he must miss his father too. He was a male in a world so girls. The male influence was much needed and was only going to be needed more as he grew in to a man. Andrew was there as much as he could be, but it wasn't enough.
The needed Hector.
"I promise darling. He is a man of honour." she told him.
Kissing them both it wasn't long till Helen was back in the living room and she was worrying, she hadn't really thought of the affect his absents was going to have on the children in a while. She had always known his absence was going to carry some weight in there lives. She had always known there was going to be a time when they were going to ask after him.
But she hadn't expected it to be so soon.
If there was only a way she could get to him, to tell him what a fool she had been for sleeping with Jack, she still loved and missed him desperately. To think it had been five years since he had left her…
But there wasn't. Because the sea separated them. Maybe that was why Hector kept on sailing. Because he damn well knew that she couldn't go on it, she couldn't cope at sea. So if he was there, he would never ever have to face her.
The guilt she had for sleeping with Jack was renewed once more that night. She should have resisted. The thought she had not was going to haunt her for ever.
Then again maybe she should have resisted being with Hector when he had first slept with her too, she pondered, if she had now of this would have happen. But if she was honest that first fateful night had been her doing. She had been desperate for him.
In a soft blue dress, a nervous Helen walked down to the beach. She had spent hours getting ready for this and now the time had come she was shaking like a leaf.
The beach was deserted, all but for one person whom she was going to join.
Hector Barbossa.
After three months of 'seeing each other' they had decided to take things to the next level. Last time, when he had come to see her, she had said to him she had not been ready to give all of herself to him and when he had gone she had bitterly regretted it. So the night before when he had returned to her she had told him all she had been thinking when he had been gone and how much she had missed him, and what she wanted to do.
At first, Hector had not been sure it was the right thing; he thought perhaps she was saying it just to keep him close and he said he could wait longer if he had too. He wasn't going to leave her.
But she had said no. She wanted it to be that night.
A warm evening had come to Tortuga and as she walked up to him, she saw he had got every thing ready. He had brought rum to give her courage and he had set out a blanket. They were in a small well hidden corner of the beach. No one could see them. They weren't going to be disturbed.
As she reached him though she simply wanted him so much that for the first time she said no hello, she just kissed him… deeper and deeper.
"Helen," he muttered, more moaned as he spun round so she faced outwards towards the shore, her body covered by the shield of the stone cove that hid them from any ones views
"Yes…" she said to him.
"I love you…" that had been the first time he had ever said those words to her.
Her eyes were dancing with joy in that moment.
"Do I even have to say it back for you to know the way I feel for you my darling?" she had said to him.
"No, I know Helen, I know."
And they proceeded to take one another's clothes off and to make love under the stars till the early hours of the morning.
Then when the deed was done, they lay in each others arms, complete smitten and silent. He drunk the rum, but she just lay there as he held her close. She didn't want to forget a second of that night, and as she looked at him she run her index finger about his face.
"What are you doing?"
"Burning you and tonight in to my mind, so I never forget… tonight, these last few months… any of it." she said to him.
"You won't have to remember. I am always going to be here to remind you." He said swept up in the magic of the moment.
For that one night the world had been in a perfect place. Hector had taken her breathe away with very touch.
A tear slid down her face as she remembered what he had said to her. That'd he'd always be there.
"Where are you now then my love?" she asked at the sky as she went outside to see the stars. To see just a little bit of what had made them so perfect, that night so brilliant.
They were there as always. As long as they were there, so was her hope…
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