So, first of all, new episode of Grey's tonight! In like…less than an hour. I must say this here because my family sadly hasn't shown proper excitement over this…despite the fact that I've told them numerous times. Which is dumb…perhaps they haven't realized that GA has both Meredith and Derek in it, and is therefore possibly one of the most perfect shows ever? Sadly, they think I just watch just for The Hair. (And The Hair does play a role. Of course. But you know, there's more. Like um…the occasional shirtlessness of Dempsey?) Heh…anyway, I'm excited, and…what else? Oh yes, I'm also happy that most people actually kinda liked Josh, and…you know…weren't going to kill me over the kiss. That was a nice relief. Anyway, also very glad people enjoyed the chapter. Thanks so much for the great reviews. They make me want to keep writing and writing, so thank you so much. It's very encouraging!

Anyway, this chapter is another move forward in time. But a much smaller leap than the over a month leap from a few chapters ago. This an about a week or so leap. Because, you know, we need to get to the good stuff. So, enjoy!

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I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed
I could do most anything to you
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"So seriously," muttered Cristina as she walked down an empty hallway of the hospital with her friend. "Just give it up already, and tell me."

"Huh?" asked Meredith, frowning in confusion at the sudden change in topic away from surgery. "Tell you what?" She raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side. "What are you talking about?"

"Shepherd," said Cristina bluntly, and Meredith winced at the name. She looked away, pulling her hair up into a ponytail--delaying her answer long enough to ensure that her voice would sound reasonably close to normal when she spoke.

"There's nothing to tell," she said stiffly, giving a self-conscious tug to her scrub top. For some reason, it had started feeling curiously tight over the past week…much more so than before, as if her stomach had grown enough to start straining against the fabric in new places. She pulled her lab coat even closer to herself to compensate, not wanting to contemplate whether or not that meant she would soon look too pregnant to be hidden by scrubs.

However, Cristina failed to notice her fidgeting, and simply rolled her eyes. "Oh please," she said smugly. "You always have something to tell, and I always find out. Always. So just, save yourself the trouble of wondering when I will, and tell me already."

"Tell you what?" repeated Meredith, her voice carefully innocent.

"You know what," said Cristina impatiently. "What's been going on with you and Shepherd? You haven't said a word about him since Joe's. Something's going on. Why all the dark and angry looks?"

"It's nothing," murmured Meredith, still fussing with her clothing. "There's nothing," she continued slowly, stretching the words out. "Nothing to tell. Nothing to talk about. Just nothing, okay?"

Cristina sighed and shook her head. "Seriously Meredith," she said as she stopped walking and turned to look at her friend. "Stop being purposely dim. It's unattractive."

Meredith simply shrugged her shoulders, and turned away from Cristina. "I don't want to talk about it," she muttered at last, chewing on her lip. And that was the truth…she didn't want to talk, or even think, about how strange things had become over the past week. Everything between Derek and herself had twisted from strange into something that was utterly incomprehensible. She couldn't figure out what was happening even when she deliberately sat down and tried to make sense of things, and so, she avoided thinking about it as much as possible. She shut it off in a far back part of her mind, and simply let it fester there, leaving the rest of her free to somehow make it through each day.

"Ah…so there is something to talk about," crowed Cristina, obviously pleased with herself. "I knew something had happened."

"No. Nothing happened," snapped Meredith, Cristina's insistent questioning finally causing her own bottled up frustrations to start coming out. "Nothing at all has happened. That's part of the problem. It's like him saying he needed to talk to me never even happened. Seriously…He's practically ignoring me. I have no idea what's…" However, her voice trailed off abruptly in the middle of her rant, her scowl flickering and slowly falling away to be replaced by something curious and wondering. Cristina pivoted around, walking back to where Meredith had frozen in place.

"Uh…Mer?" she asked, frowning as she peered at her friend. Meredith didn't seem to notice her, but simply stood there, eyes widening slightly. Her hand lifted up, hovering just above her stomach, and the corners of her mouth twitched upward slightly. "Are you okay?" continued Cristina skeptically, glancing down at Meredith's hand and then up to take in her dazed expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No…nothing's wrong," said Meredith quietly, her voice a near whisper. Her smile brightened, and she seemed to tear herself away from wherever she had drifted to, because her eyes suddenly focused sharply on Cristina. "It moved," she added in a low amazed voice.

Cristina's face contorted into a frown. "It moved?" she echoed.

Meredith nodded excitedly, unable to keep from grinning. "It moved," she repeated, jerking her head down in the direction of her stomach.

"Oh…" Cristina's voice was a sudden gasp of comprehension. "McFetus moved." Instinctively, Meredith glanced over her shoulder up and down the length of the hallway, but, finding the corridor still completely empty, she nodded her head again.

"It did," she agreed, her voice soft and wondering. "I thought I'd felt it move before, but I wasn't sure. Only this time? This time, it definitely moved." She ran her hand down the growing curve of her stomach, desperately wanting to feel that slight fluttering motion within herself again. Cristina just frowned as she took in Meredith's eager smile and the peculiarly bright expectant look in her eyes.

"Okay, here's the deal," she said with a groan, pulling a hand through her tangled hair. "You want us to be all glowy and have a moment? Fine, but you will owe me." Meredith simply nodded, her eyes still trained on her stomach. "What did it feel like?" asked Cristina grudgingly.

Meredith swayed back and forth slightly, her lips pursed together as she contemplated the question. "Like wings," she decided at last. "Like I'd swallowed a hundred butterflies."

"If you'd swallowed a hundred butterflies, they would be dead. Or you would be gagging. They wouldn't be fluttering about and beating their wings magically inside your stomach," said Cristina practically, earning a scowl from Meredith.

"Ruining the moment," she hissed, scrunching her face into a displeased frown.

Cristina simply rolled her eyes in response. "Right. Sorry," she muttered. "McFetus feels just like hundreds of magical butterflies. Fantastic. I'll be sure to remind you of that when you're in labor," she added with a smirk. However, Meredith had returned to grinning down at her stomach, and was nearly oblivious to what Cristina was saying. She shook her head, holding out a hand to stop her.

"It's moving again," she murmured excitedly. "A lot." She ran her hands lightly over her stomach, finding it easier to pick up on the feeling now that she had realized exactly what it was.

"Oh no, next you're going to want me to feel it," moaned Cristina, making her voice sarcastic despite the slight smile that was tugging on the far corner of her mouth.

"Umm…I don't know if you can," said Meredith thoughtfully, frowning as she pressed her hand more carefully against herself. "I'm not sure if it's strong enough…" She shifted her hand slightly as she spoke, her lips pursed together, and her green eyes growing gray and contemplative. "Wait…" Her hand stilled, and she nodded slightly, beckoning for Cristina with her free hand. "Here. Tell me if you feel anything."

"Seriously?" asked Cristina as Meredith snatched her hand, pressing it against the round side of her stomach. "You're supposed to save the rub-my-belly-like-I'm-a-freakin-Buddha sessions for Tinkerbell and Bambi only."

"Oh shut up," snapped Meredith lightly. "You're ruining the moment again, remember?" She laughed, rolling her eyes at Cristina as she finally gave in, her expression turning thoughtful. "Feel anything?" asked Meredith after a moment, her voice surprisingly hopeful.

"I'm not sure," said Cristina. "Maybe…" She frowned, nodding her head. "I think so. It's not very strong, but I think…yeah."

"Way to go, McFetus," whispered Meredith, grinning down at her stomach.

"Oh god," groaned Cristina, pulling her hand back. "You're turning into one of those happy people."

Meredith's reply was quick and defensive. "I am not."

"Uh huh…right. Whatever you say Mer," said Cristina disbelievingly, continuing on in the direction they had been walking. "Oh and yeah," she continued as Meredith hurried to catch up with her. "Now that we've had our moment, you owe me some gossip."

"But I'm not a gossip," said Meredith indignantly.

"True," allowed Cristina. "However, your life is the source of gossip for the hospital. So, whatever. It evens out." Meredith frowned, but didn't contradict her--her thoughts flashing bitterly back to Derek. "So spill," continued Cristina after Meredith failed to speak. "I've got to spend the whole day in the pit, so…" She grinned almost evily at her friend. "Make it something good."

"Oh poor you," answered Meredith dryly. "I'm the one who's on call tonight."

Cristina simply shrugged, not at all swayed by this. "You get surgery with Burke today. I get suturing up idiots, if I'm lucky." She turned to look at Meredith, her expression growing sincere and somewhat concerned. "So seriously, why is Shepherd walking around like you accidentally let it slip that his hair does nothing for you?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, but her amused smirk soon faded away into a sigh. She shook her head, feeling as if she were slowly but surely being pulled back to exactly what she had been trying to avoid. "I don't know," she said quietly. Her voice started to tremble slightly, and she swallowed hard, trying to string together a coherent explanation of the past week for Cristina. "One day he wanted to talk to me, and the next, he's acting like…he hates me or something," she stammered, looking helplessly at Cristina. "He's always busy…I tried to talk to him twice, and both times he just snapped at me." She shook her head again, her eyes already starting to burn with the threat of tears; precisely the reason why she had carefully avoided thinking about Derek as much as possible over the past week. She was sick of crying. She wanted nothing more than to find her old self, but it seemed impossible. Even as she tried to fight the urge, she heard her voice turn once more into a pathetic quavering thing, saying, "I just don't know Cristina. I just…he's been lots of things, but he's never been mean to me before. Not really, and now…I just, I just don't know…" She trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip as her eyes grew troubled and uncertain.

Cristina heaved a sigh that was as frustrated as Meredith's had been overwhelmed. "Seriously Mer," she said, her tone brisk and businesslike. "If he's treating you like crap, corner the McBastard and find out why. Stop being all McWeepy, and grow a spine."

Meredith's eyes flashed at that, and she crossed her arms just above her stomach. "I have a spine," she said, her voice tinged slightly with annoyance.

Cristina let out a disbelieving bark of a laugh. "Oh please," she said, shaking her head. "Not with Shepherd. You bend over backwards for him whenever he asks, and usually when he doesn't ask too."

"I don't…" began Meredith, only to find herself interrupted immediately by Cristina.

"You do Mer," she said simply. "And I get it, you love him. He's McDreamy; you're all mushy and disgusting when you think of him. Whatever. But that can only go so far." Her voice lost its familiar edge, and turned strangely earnest. She was still as adamant as usual, but there was something uncharacteristically gentle--both coaxing and understanding--to her words. "He has to bend too Mer. It can't be just you every time."

Meredith found she could only nod. Cristina's words seemed to have somehow both evaporated her tears and left her speechless, but there was something strengthening in them as well. "Okay," she finally heard herself say, her voice sounding curiously far away.

"Good," said Cristina, apparently needing to hear nothing more than that. She was halfway to the pit when she spun back around, fixing Meredith with a sudden smirk as she added, "Now go find out why he's got his panties in a bunch."

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Derek Shepherd was angry. Actually, he was more than angry. Simple anger had been days ago. Now, it had twisted and grown within him, turning into this tortured burning thing that seemed to scald each one of his thoughts. A distant part of his mind knew that he was being unreasonable, but it was small and easily silenced by the bitter pangs of jealousy he felt whenever he thought of someone else touching Meredith. And, when that wasn't enough, there was that cold wave of fear--which he didn't completely understand--that kept washing over him. Meredith and someone else… Meredith and someone else… Meredith and… The thought had a constant undesired rhythm that seemed to have aligned itself with the very beating of his heart; refusing to leave him alone for a minute. Derek knew the right thing to do would be to talk to her, but the easier thing to do was to simply turn into himself. He was used to that, to moving inward and blindly hoping that things would resolve themselves on their own. And so days had passed in stiff cold silence without Derek fully realizing it. It was simple logic that he was following--simple, but utterly flawed and hopeless. He needed to talk to Meredith, but he didn't want to yell at her. If he tried to talk, he knew he would yell. And so he settled things by not speaking to her; through distance and gruff replies. Until suddenly, unexpectedly, she loosened the lid on his anger herself. Meredith came up to him in the hallway and took him by the arm, yanking him wordlessly into an on call room.

"Meredith, what are you doing?" he asked roughly as she let go of him, turning to lock the door.

She flicked the lightswitch on--the quick flood of illumination revealing an unusually determined light in her eyes. "Getting some sort of explanation," she said simply, looking up at him.

"Funny you should say that," he snapped, surprised to hear his voice come out so bitter. Meredith just frowned, her expression perfectly puzzled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Derek sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes--trying to find a way to not be angry--but the week's worth of built up agonizing had rankled within him and was about to spill over, leaving him no other choice. "It means," he said at last, opening his eyes to fix a steely glare on Meredith's confused and expectant face. "Of the two of us, I'm not the one who needs to be explaining things here."

"What?" asked Meredith, her voice incredulous, and her expression swinging between bewildered and frustrated. "You practically got into a fight with my friends because you said you needed to talk to me so badly, but then you spend a week going out of your way to ignore me. That doesn't even make sense." She shook her head, her eyes hurt and confused. "I mean, why Derek? What's wrong?" She was standing close to him, chewing anxiously on her lower lip as she stared up into his eyes, at a loss as to the reason why they had contorted from their usual piercing blue into something infinitely dark and burning.

"I just hadn't realized you had a new hobby," he said, his voice low and cold.

"A new hobby?" echoed Meredith, her frown deepening. "What are you talking about Derek?" Her apparent lack of comprehension was only irritiating him further. As far as he was concerned, it was perfectly clear what the problem was, and, seeing as how she had constituted half of the kiss herself, the fact that she didn't seem to know was infuriating.

"Kiss anyone good today?" he sneered at last.

Meredith just blinked disbelievingly. "What?"

"Well, it's your new hobby isn't it?" continued Derek. "You're thing? Kissing people in the stairwells?"

"What?" repeated Meredith as a sudden look of comprehension passed behind her eyes. "Wait…you saw that?" she continued, giving a confused shake of her head. "How…were you spying on me?"

"Spying on you?" echoed Derek loudly, stepping away from her. "Right Meredith, I was spying on you. No, I was walking down the damn stairs!" She flinched at the sound of his voice, and it seemed to pull her out of the shocked disbelief she had been frozen in.

"Derek…" she began again, her voice much more tentative now; all her own indignation melting away as she realized in a cold rush the reason behind his anger. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…it was just this one little kiss. That's all. Nothing more, I swear. It didn't mean anything." She was wringing her hands together, her lip trembling slightly as she spoke, taken back by the cold hard lines in his face. "It shouldn't have even happened."

"Then why did it happen?" demanded Derek, stopping his pacing to glare at her. "I mean, who the hell was that Meredith? I didn't realize you were seeing someone." He nearly spat his words out at her, feeling sick at the mere thought of what her seeing someone would imply.

"I'm not…" stammered Meredith, her voice shaking. "I'm not seeing anyone. Seriously Derek, I'm not. We were just sort of in the moment…I don't know…"

"In the moment?" interrupted Derek incredulously, and Meredith gave a meek nod of her head, nearly cowering in front of him.

"I was sad," she tried again, her voice still only a faint sliver of a sound. "And Josh was just…being nice to me…" She trailed off, looking up hopefully at Derek. Somehow, a kiss that she had considered to be utterly insignificant had mutated into something horrifying, and it left her feeling dizzy, as if the whole room had suddenly started spinning violently, and the only thing that could make it stop would be Derek understanding. But he didn't understand--she knew that much. His eyes were still bitter as he stared at her.

"No," he said, nearly shouting; the sound echoing loudly throughout the small room. He reached out, taking her roughly by the arm, and pulling her closer. She stumbled slightly, gasping as she fell forward. "Men do not kiss women to be nice Meredith," he continued, his voice turning into an angry hiss. His fingers gripped her slender wrist possessively, his mind still reeling from the thought of someone else being allowed to touch her. She looked up at him; her eyes wide, and her voice fading into a whimpered strand of barely audible apologies. Derek felt his anger start to melt away as he stared down at her trembling lips, and his voice softened into something that was more hurt and confused than enraged. "Who was he?" he asked, and before she could start to relax into the gentler sound of his voice, Meredith felt herself tense up again. "Who's Josh?" He nearly sneered again as he said the man's name, as if the word left an acrid taste in his mouth. "Is he some old boyfriend?" She bit her lip, looking away from Derek and down at the ground, knowing instinctively that he would hate the answer.

Her voice was quiet; barely a shadow of its usual strength. "He's the doctor."

"The doctor?" echoed Derek, not immediately comprehending what she was referring to. "The doctor…the doctor Meredith?" he asked, his voice rising disbelievingly. He was almost shouting as he finally spoke of what the two of them had been ignoring for months. "As in the one for our child?"

"Mmm…" she managed, nodding her head even as Derek shook his violently.

"Well that," he snapped, once again returning to pacing the room. "That just makes me feel so much better."

"Derek," began Meredith pleadingly. "He's a good doctor. He's…"

"Oh I'm sure he is," interrupted Derek, letting out a derisive laugh as he leered angrily at her. "I'm thrilled you found a doctor who could give you such a thorough exam."

"Derek…" repeated Meredith, her own voice slowly growing frustrated as well. "It was a mistake, that's all. And I'm sorry." She shook her head, crossing over to where he stood. "But it was just one kiss. Why are you so angry about this?"

"Why am I so angry?" Derek shook his head, not quite sure himself why he felt as if the room were lurching, and everything falling apart.

"Yeah…" she prompted tentatively.

Derek turned at the small sound of her voice, twisting to glare at her over his shoulder. Impulsively, he reached out again, bringing Meredith to him and nearly pinning her between his body and the wall. And as she stood there pressed against him for the first time in months, he felt what he hadn't been able to see…what had been carefully and continually hidden. And as he did, Derek began to realize just why he was so angry. Meredith didn't fit against him the way she used to; close like puzzle pieces, with every curve and groove finding its match in him. She had grown…far more than he had expected--her stomach swollen with the child caught between them. And that was the problem. Meredith with someone else would be devastating enough on its own, but there were three of them now, and something instinctive buried deep within him knew that that wasn't supposed to be threatened. They were supposed to be something solid and impenetrable--a perfect circle. And yet, they were so scattered…so utterly scattered that he didn't even recognize the feel of her new body pressed against him…so utterly scattered that some other man had found the time to press kisses to her lips.

It terrified him that that had happened. It made him want to lash out at anyone, anything. He didn't understand how it could have happened--how he had let it happen, how she had let it happen.

"Just…how could you, Meredith?" Derek asked at last, shaking his head. "How could you sit there, knowing that you're carrying our child, and kiss some other man?" His voice was low and broken, with more of the anger directed towards himself than her. However, all Meredith heard was an accusation, and she flinched slightly, her green eyes growing troubled.

She felt as if she were torn between two options. The first was one she had grown accustom to lately; to give in to the tears that he had summoned to the corners of her eyes, to cry and beg him to forgive her. In some vague subconscious way, Meredith knew that if she did…the whole argument would simply fade away. She didn't know where they would end up, but the yelling and the anger would stop. The truth was simple; he loved her too much to stay mad if she cried. However, Cristina's words were still echoing in the back of her mind, and, the more she listened to Derek, the more infuriated she became. She was tired of feeling weak; as if the world were simply happening to her while she crumbled and fell apart. And so Meredith swallowed hard, turning from the first option to the second. There was a strange strength in anger. It wasn't something pleasant. It was cold and rough, but it was strong.

"No Derek," she said flatly, pushing him off of her almost violently. "You don't get to look at me like that, when you're the one who has been living with Addison for the past two months."

Derek's expression changed instantly, and he stepped away as if he had been slapped. "What?" he croaked, frowning at her.

"You heard me," she snapped, glaring up at him. "I watch you go home with her every night, and I don't say a word. You see me kiss someone once, and you're acting like I've betrayed you." She shook her head, her voice rising into something as tortured and angry as the pools of his eyes. "I mean, seriously Derek…what? You think there's nothing I love more than you sleeping with her? That I'm happy the two of you are trying to work things out?"

Her eyes felt like needles, stabbing into him as she tilted her chin up and glared. Derek just shook his head disbelievingly, feeling as if the room had once again gone back to reeling madly. "You asked me to try with Addison," he said, his voice frustrated and heavy. The past two months… He had spent the past two miserable months with Addison because Meredith had asked him to--had cried and begged and told him to--and now it was being thrown back in his face. He was halfway to simply gaping at her in disbelief. "You told me to go back Meredith," he said slowly, his speech close to a growl. "You told me to try."

Meredith had turned away, but, at that, she spun back around to face him. "And you sure tried," she said bitterly, rolling her eyes.

"What? You think this has been easy for me?" he hissed incredulously, his voice rising as he finally found an outlet for the past months' frustrations. "That I enjoy lying to my wife about all of this? Lying to everyone about all of this?" Meredith just stared up at him blankly, her face flushed, and her breathing close to panting. She felt shaky, and so she stretched a hand out, steadying herself on the wall. Derek closed his eyes, hating the fact that what Meredith had asked him do so that she could believe in him again had somehow become this painful wedge between them. "I did it because you asked me to," he repeated once more, trying to get her to see how that changed things. It seemed like the crucial difference to him. He had been sent away, and told to save his marriage. To him, there was nothing threatening in Addison. But Josh, this other man, that was terrifying. Derek didn't recall ever asking her to go and kiss the doctor who was supposed to be watching over their baby. And yet she had done it anyway.

Meredith gasped slightly, seeming to need to take a long deep breath before she could look back up at him. "I know I asked you," she snapped hotly. "That's not the point."

"Then what's the point Meredith?" he asked, his voice rising once again. "Because I know damn well I didn't ask you to start kissing other men." He slammed his hand against the wall with a dull thud, trying to let off some of his frustration over the fact that they seemed to simply be going in circles; accomplishing nothing.

"The point is…" stammered Meredith, shaking her head in disbelief. "It's…" The point was too much to sum up in a sentence. It was every night that Izzie had held back her hair while she was sick instead of Derek. It was every time that Alex, of all people, would wordlessly sneak her those little cheesy crackers from the vending machines just because she seemed to crave them constantly now. It was the fact that she was scared. That she felt tired all the time. That he hadn't heard the heartbeat. That the baby had moved, and Cristina had felt it before him. It was the fact that, even if she wasn't alone, she was missing the one person she needed for this the most. Josh wasn't the point. He was so far from the point, that Meredith couldn't begin to comprehend how Derek thought kissing him was the point. That was nothing. Just another blip in the sea of everything that was going wrong and threatening to drown her. And so Meredith shook her head again, backing away to keep from crying. "If you don't know what the point is on your own, then I can't help you!" she spat out at last.

And without another word, she turned and hurried for the door. She heard Derek call her name, suddenly begging her to stay, but she didn't listen. Meredith let her anger and frustration propel her down the hall and away from him as long as it could. Growing exhausted and suddenly afraid that he might follow now, when she desperately needed to be alone, she spun around, her eyes landing on one of the supply closets. Within seconds she was inside, her arms wrapping protectively around her stomach as she stopped fighting the desire in her knees to simply give out. And so she sat curled up on the floor, eyes open to the dark of the closet, as she tried to get the memory of the two of them yelling at each other to stop echoing over and over in her mind.

-----

So…yeah. Hello again. Mer/Der had a fight. A big fight. Because…this whole thing that they have been doing for two months, with the secrets and the staying apart from each other and the trying…that whole giant mess? It's been eating them both up inside. And they pretty much both hate what they've been doing and are angry about it, but their only choices are to get angry at themselves (which they've already both done) or get angry at each other (which, well, they do here.) Because it's their fault together, maybe a little more or a little less per person, but they both agreed to do this, and they both turned it into this huge overwhelming thing in their lives. And, they were handling it okay until Mer and Josh kissed, and then, all of Derek's jealousy kicked in. Because sometimes, he can be a little too possessive of Mer, especially if he thinks there's a chance of someone taking her away from him. And so he bottles this fear of losing her and his jealousy right up with all his other feelings he's been keeping suppressed since they started the Secret Baby Conspiracy (dun, dun, dun…), and is avoiding her to keep from doing exactly what he ends up doing when she corners him and demands an explanation. And so they fight. Well, in the beginning Derek yells and Mer apologizes because she knows that she kissed someone else and that that hurt Derek. But, right when he's just about got all his frustrations over the kiss out, Meredith snaps. Finally. She finally, finally gets a spine and doesn't just cry.

Because, yes, she kissed Josh, but Derek is living with another woman. And it doesn't seem fair to her for him to blow this into a huge thing when he's the one who is actually in another relationship. And so they fight about that too which is a sore spot with Derek because he wanted to get a divorce. Mer was the one who asked him to try, and yeah…he's done a crappy job of that, but he feels like she's taking something that she asked of him, and then using it against him. And in the end, Meredith is frustrated that he's still hung up on the idea of her with Josh…which is utterly frightening for him in a way that he fails to realize is equivalent to him trying with Addison for Mer…when, for her, the real point isn't Josh or Addison. It's none of these outside people, it's just that she's been doing this all without him. And she's terrified. She's terrified of doing this on her own, and he's terrified of what Josh symbolizes, and so…while they say a lot, they don't come to a conclusion yet. Because all this fighting is emotionally and physically draining for Mer, and so she runs away because she doesn't know how to handle it at the moment.

Oh, and on a happier note, the baby moved. Yay! And Cristina felt it, and, you know, tried her hardest not to show any gushy feelings over it. Because that would be gross. But, she is happy the baby seems to make Meredith so happy. Which it does, because somehow she's able to separate the child from the mess caused by the child, and let one just make her happy even while the other overwhelms her. And yep, that's about it. So yeah, thanks for reading. I have a feeling I was very ramble-y yet again. But I don't suppose that's anything new. Oooh also, these next few chapters, starting with the very next one? They are the ones that I thought up first, and then planned the rest of the story around. So, I'm very excited to write them as I have been planning them forever…and I think they are fairly exciting. Hopefully they'll turn out that way. Because, you know…stuff…happens. Stuff that is…big. And I am being…vague.

Heh…anyway, thanks again for reading this thing. Hope you liked it!