Soo…hello again. First off, thanks as usual for the wonderful reviews. They make me utterly happy, and so very glad to know that people are enjoying the story. Because, you know, if you guys didn't like it, I'd only be amusing myself. Which…I guess would be okay. But this way, I feel a teensy bit more productive. Or something…

Anyway, for once I don't have a whole lot to say upfront. Just that…let's see. This chapter is long. I think. I almost cut it to make it shorter, but…I couldn't think of a good place to cut it. If it feels like too much, please do point that out, and I'll just go ahead and slice the next chapter if it ends up being this long. Also, this chapter picks up the day after the previous one. Early in the morning, after Meredith spent the night on-call. But, I say that within like the first paragraph of the chapter, soo…I'm really just being redundant here. In that case, I will shut up now, and try to get myself to stop typing more and more pointless things. So yeah. Enjoy!

-----
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
-----

Meredith stood with her eyes closed, slumped against the far wall of the locker room, trying to concentrate on simply standing. Every bone within her felt as if it had turned to lead, and she had stopped bothering with keeping her eyes open awhile ago. It was simply too much work. She couldn't remember a night in which she had gotten less sleep on call than the one she had just been through. She had made it into a bed for a grand total of twenty minutes, and consequently a heavy cloak of exhaustion had settled over her by the time five am rolled around. Sliding down to sit on the floor for a brief ten minute nap sounded beautifully tempting, but she was trying to resist. She knew it would be too short to do any real good. It would serve only to make it that much more painful to stand up again. The voices around her were this vague sort of murmur she couldn't bring herself to concentrate on, and her stomach was painfully sore and aching. She moaned and pressed her hand to her side, thinking it was because she hadn't eaten since sometime early in the previous evening…sometime after she had finally managed to stop shaking from fighting with Derek. She shuddered at the memory, and quickly dismissed the idea of going downstairs to get a bagel before rounds. She would have to move quickly, to hurry and jostle past people, and honestly, that didn't seem worth the effort at the moment. Meredith simply wanted to remain standing there, and continue with her efforts to melt right into the wall.

"Whoa!" came the sudden sound of a familiar voice, and Meredith blinked grudgingly, tilting her face enough to the side to squint at Izzie through her veil of hair. Izzie looked glaringly bright and energetic, smiling with a latte in hand. She was glancing down at Meredith's stomach and shaking her head, prompting Meredith to frown at her.

"What?" she grumbled at last--the sudden movement to speak reminding her that she was painfully thirsty as well.

Izzie shook her head again, reaching out and grabbing Meredith by the arm. "Seriously Meredith, just whoa... You need to come with me," she said, and without a further word of explanation, she had separated her from the wall. Meredith glanced forlornly back at her resting place, but stumbled after Izzie. She found herself being led across the locker room--which was just beginning to fill up with people coming in to get ready for rounds--and straight into the washroom at the far end. "Okay, everybody out!" declared Izzie as she pushed the door open, and kicked the few stall doors that were closed. However, all the doors swung easily on their hinges; proving that the room was empty save for them.

"Iz?" asked Meredith as she found a new wall to slump against. Izzie whirled back around from inspecting the stalls, grinning proudly. "Um…?"

"Phew," she said, giggling to herself. "I had no idea how that was going to work, but it's empty, so we're in luck!"

Meredith just blinked at her, shaking her head. "What are you doing?" She spoke slowly, incredulously, almost as if she feared Izzie had lost her grip on English, or, at the very least, on her sanity.

"It's…" began Izzie, but she promptly trailed off at the sound of the bathroom door being pushed open. "Crap," she hissed as she whirled around, but she turned to find only Cristina standing in the doorway.

"Morning losers," said Cristina, as she leaned against the doorframe. "What are you doing in here?"

"You can come in," replied Izzie, completely ignoring the question. "But guard the door. Seriously…with your life or something. Use your elbows if you have to. They look pointy." Cristina peered around Izzie, shooting Meredith an utterly confused look. Meredith just shook her head, giving a halfhearted shrug in response.

"Izzie this isn't high school," continued Cristina, yawning loudly as she spoke. "We don't have a secret bathroom club. Other people can pee in here if they want."

"I know we don't have a bathroom club," said Izzie dismissively, pausing to sip on her latte. "We have a problem. A Meredith problem."

Meredith just groaned, and swung a hand out in a wide and aimless gesture. "Meredith has lots of problems," she muttered. She turned so her back was to the wall, arching slightly, and bumping her head against the tile. "None of which seem to be getting any better."

"No," continued Izzie flatly. "You currently have one problem. You look pregnant."

"I do not," hissed Meredith immediately, suddenly finding a burst of energy large enough to move away from the wall and over to stand in front of the mirror. "I don't look pregnant," she insisted, her voice growing much less certain as she twisted about to look at her profile. "Do I?"

"Um…yeah, you do," replied Izzie as Meredith sent a pleading glance in Cristina's direction. She grumbled something nondescript under her breath about missing out on all the good cases, but shuffled forward, turning a critical eye on Meredith's midsection.

"Well, you don't look like a truck yet," she said bluntly. "But yeah, you can tell. At least, anybody who bothers to look and has half a brain can tell."

"No…" moaned Meredith, her voice curving into a disappointed sound as she tugged on the fabric of her scrubs, trying to ignore the blatant straining at the front of her shirt. "It's not possible," she continued, shaking her head as her eyes widened with worry. "I looked fine yesterday. How can I look pregnant today if I didn't yesterday?"

Izzie shrugged, staring at a long piece of blonde hair as she twirled it around her finger. "Maybe you popped."

"I did not pop," snapped Meredith indignantly, still glaring at her reflection. "I was up all freaking night. I think I would've noticed if I popped." Izzie just shrugged again, and kept messing with her hair. "Seriously," continued Meredith, her voice turning desperate. "It has to be something else…"

"Well…where'd your lab coat go?" asked Cristina, sliding down to sit cross-legged on the floor. "You're always buried under that thing." She scratched her head, tilting sideways and frowning at Meredith. "It helped a lot. Go put it back on."

The suggestion just prompted Meredith to groan and raise a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. "It's in laundry," she muttered darkly. "A patient threw up on it last night."

"Ah well then…" said Cristina, her voice nonchalant as she leaned back against the wall. "Guess everyone's finding out today, huh?" Meredith didn't answer, but simply turned to stare at her, her green eyes nearly glowing with fear and apprehension as she wrung her hands together, shaking her head. "Calm down Mer," continued Cristina as she took in the frantic light in her friend's face. "It's not going to be the end of the world."

"No," snapped Meredith, suddenly finding her voice again. "It's definitely the end of the world. This cannot happen today."

"Ooh," gasped Izzie delightedly. "I have an idea."

"And why is it the end of the world?" asked Cristina, ignoring Izzie's comment.

Meredith leaned forward, putting her weight on one of the sinks as she stared absently down at the dripping faucet. "I fought with Derek," she muttered, her voice leaden and filled with exhaustion.

"You fought…" began Cristina, but she promptly trailed off as she caught sight of Izzie peeling off her scrub top. "Whoa," she continued, raising a hand as if to cover her eyes. "We don't strip until after nine Iz, remember?" Izzie simply made a face, and so, with a shrug, Cristina returned her attention to Meredith. "So, did you find out why McBastard's been all bitter and hostile?" The sound of her voice summoned Meredith's eyes back open, and she blinked down at the basin of the sink, trying to remember what they were talking about.

"Umm…" she said slowly, leaning forward further and resting her forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. "He saw me kiss Josh."

At that, Izzie promptly choked on her latte, and Cristina's jaw dropped open. "Seriously?" she asked after a minute, sounding more amused than anything else. "No wonder Shepherd's pissed."

"You kissed McBabies?" managed Izzie once she had finally stopped coughing.

Meredith groaned but nodded her head, her forehead bumping against the mirror as she did. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to straighten up and turn around. But, the sudden motion only served to make her dizzy, and she quickly slumped against the wall, giving in and sliding down to sit on the floor. "It wasn't a big kiss," she moaned, frowning at the memory of the fight. "It was this tiny little kiss, but Derek saw. And then he flipped out, so I started yelling about Addison, and it was just this…big, angry thing."

"Wait…" said Cristina, holding up a hand to stop her. "You yelled?" Meredith just nodded, still fussing unhappily with her scrubs. Cristina grinned proudly. "You grew a spine." Meredith gave another half nod that melted into a shrug, a wan smile flashing briefly across her face.

"So, how was kissing Dr. McBabies?" asked Izzie eagerly. Meredith's shadow of a smile died completely, and she simply glared at her; the green of her eyes rapidly darkening as her expression twisted into a bitter scowl. "Okaaay…" continued Izzie, holding up her hands in defeat. "Forget I asked, McGrumpy."

"And then what happened?" prompted Cristina. "Did he forgive you for shoving your tongue down your doctor's throat?"

Meredith turned and glared at her as well, shaking her head. "I don't…know." Cristina raised a single curious eyebrow, and, with a heavy sigh, Meredith continued. "We never finished arguing," she mumbled, staring down at her knee. "I ran away."

Cristina just rolled her eyes. "Oh very mature Mer."

"Shut up," muttered Meredith crossly, her head falling forward to rest in her hands. "I just…" She took a deep breath, letting her eyes close again. "None of this would've happened if I'd just transferred," she said softly, her voice almost a whisper. "None of this would be happening."

"What?" gasped Izzie, sounding horrified. "You don't mean that Mer." At that, Meredith lifted her head up slightly, her eyes still dark and brooding.

"No," she said sharply, her voice somewhat bitter. "I mean that. This would literally not be happening if I'd left." Her words were met with an awkward silence, and so she let her head fall back into her hands, ignoring the confused look Izzie and Cristina were sharing. It wasn't so much that she wished she were somewhere else, as it was her simple desire for this to all just stop. Meredith wanted nothing more than to curl up on the floor and fall asleep. Only for an hour…maybe two. She was sure none of this would be quite so overwhelming if she didn't feel so utterly exhausted and sore, but, in the moment, everything seemed to be crushing her. Having no idea how she was going to get through rounds, especially if she apparently looked pregnant now, Meredith glared down past her knees, refusing to let her mind drift away to consider anything more complex than the number of tiles she could count on the floor.

Cristina cleared her throat first, shattering the heavy silence that had fallen over the three of them. She frowned and turned to look at Izzie, asking, "Are you going to put your shirt back on, or are you just planning to distract everyone from Meredith by rounding in your bra?"

"Oh…" Izzie glanced down, seeming to just then realize that she was still shirtless. "No, this is Meredith's shirt," she continued, tossing her scrub top so that it landed a few feet away from where Meredith sat. She leaned forward, picking it up and frowning at Izzie, her expression growing puzzled.

"Uh what, Iz?" she asked.

"It's yours," continued Izzie. "Now, give me the one you're wearing." Meredith just blinked at her, causing Izzie to sigh impatiently. "I'm a medium, and you're a small. Get it yet?'

"Right," muttered Meredith, wincing slightly as she pulled herself back up.

"Yeah. That should work for another few weeks or so," said Izzie. "After that, you're…" She trailed off, shrugging as she gave her friend a sympathetic smile.

"Screwed," supplied Meredith, her voice resentful.

"Well no, you already got screwed," said Izzie lightly. "That's why you're all knocked up, remember?" She laughed at her own joke, but Meredith felt too wretched to even bother with smiling, and so she simply turned and glared, her eyes growing steely and her mouth disappearing into a thin line.

"Please, please never try to be funny again," said Cristina as she walked over to the two of them, a disdainful yet amused look playing across her face.

"I'm just saying," replied Izzie defensively. She turned back towards Meredith, who was still dressed and leaning against the edge of the sink. "Shirt, Meredith," she demanded, holding out her hand. "Unless you want to start rounds with a very interesting conversation with Bailey, shirt now." Meredith rolled her eyes, but wordlessly peeled off her shirt. "Aww," continued Izzie, glancing down at her. "Look at you and your cute little baby bump."

At that, Meredith's blank expression twisted into a dark scowl, and she thrust her own top almost violently at Izzie. "Here," she said--her voice sharp and annoyed--before turning and pulling on the larger scrubs. "Is it better?" she continued hopefully, shuffling back over to stand in front of the mirror.

"It's too big for you," said Cristina flatly, and she had a point. It gaped at the neck and hung loosely around her small frame, however, it also served to completely hide her stomach.

"Whatever," muttered Meredith. "Can you tell I'm pregnant?" Cristina shook her head, prompting Meredith to sigh with relief, leaning forward to once again rest her forehead against the cool tile surface of the bathroom wall.

"Holy crap," gasped Izzie, struggling to pull the smaller top down. "This thing is strangling my boobs."

Cristina scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Shut it Barbie, we know your breasts are large," she said dryly.

Meredith smiled vaguely as she listened to the two of them continue arguing, but found herself soon distracted by a sudden twinge that went shooting like fire across her stomach. She gasped in a combination of pain and surprise, her hand flying instantly to her side. It had been an intense flicker of agony, but it had been brief, vanishing and leaving her with nothing more than the constant aching sensation she knew she had earned herself by staying on her feet all night long. A soft frown settled on her brow as she waited with closed eyes to see if it would return. When it didn't, she looked up and found both of her friends staring at her, their faces twin masks of worry.

"Mer, are you okay?" asked Izzie cautiously. Meredith shook her head but straightened up, walking gingerly back over to the mirror.

"Yeah," she muttered, reaching out and turning on the faucet. "It was nothing…just a cramp. I'm fine." But her voice wavered slightly, and she leaned forward, splashing her face with icy water to hide the uncertainty she knew they would see in her eyes. It's nothing, she thought to herself fiercely as she straightened up, blinking as the water rolled in droplets down her skin to soak the neckline of her scrubs.

"Are you sure?" pressed Cristina, frowning at her. "Because, you know, you look like crap."

"Oh thanks Cristina," snapped Meredith crossly. "Thank you." She rolled her eyes, staring at her reflection and raising a hand to fuss aimlessly with her hair. "I'm fine," she repeated, still leaning heavily against the sink. "I'm just, let's see…" She frowned, her voice growing frustrated and bitter as she listed things off on her fingers. "Tired and hungry and thirsty and sore and upset over Derek and…maybe tired again." Reaching down to give a self-conscious tug on her new larger shirt, she turned around and stared at her friends. "But seriously, what else is new? I'm fine."

"Okay Mer," said Izzie, laughing incredulously. "I think you need to go sit down."

"No. No, I don't," she snapped, glancing down at her watch. "We need to go round. We're supposed to meet Bailey in four minutes." Her friends just stood still, eyeing her apprehensively. "Seriously, I'm good," she continued, not giving them a chance to question her further. She smiled determinedly, trying to reassure herself as much as them. Because, despite her definite desire to just sit down, she had no idea how she possibly could right then…not without some heavy explaining. "I'll be fine. It was nothing." Finally, they consented; Cristina following her towards the door, and Izzie rushing back to the mirror one last time. She wiggled uncomfortably, trying to yank her shirt into place. "Um…you coming Iz?" asked Meredith, motioning through the open door towards the locker room beyond.

"Yeah, it's just…my boobs can't breathe in here," hissed Izzie, but she turned away from the mirror, walking past them and out the door.

"Her boobs can't breathe?" echoed Cristina in a low voice, smirking at Meredith. "You know, I think you being pregnant is just part of her master plan to get us all talking about her boobs, all the time." Meredith nodded and let out a vague whimper of a laugh. She couldn't bring her mind to manage a reply though, all of her attention being already caught up in the effort of walking and appearing normal; fighting off the constant desire to just wrap her arms around her stomach and sink to the floor.

-----

Meredith wasn't exactly sure how she had managed to make it through all of rounds. She had lurked in the back; both to try and dodge the skeptical frowns Bailey kept shooting her, and because walking fast had suddenly started to make her cramp, and consequently gasp in pain. And so she had shuffled through the hospital at a pathetic pace, her every thought concentrated on the fact that each step brought her that much closer to four o'clock, when she would finally be off. However, four o'clock was still a long way away, and, as far as she was concerned, her bad day was only set to worsen...

She was Addison's intern.

There was no one she wanted to stay further away from than Addison--yet there she was, forced to wait for her. Meredith moaned softly, and cradled her head in her hands, trying not to think of just how easy it would be to simply give in and start crying from sheer exhaustion. But somehow, she kept herself together, or at least…managed to scrape up a semblance of togetherness. She had her eyes directed towards their patient's chart, trying to prep for the case, but she couldn't bring her mind to make sense of anything written there. Her eyelids kept drooping--heavy and low from lack of sleep--and she felt vaguely dizzy. However, just as her eyes started to close completely, Meredith found herself jolted from her dazed state by a sudden bolt of pain in her side, similar to the one she had felt in the locker room. Through sheer willpower alone, she kept her hand from flying instantly to her stomach. She shifted slightly, cautiously; all of her attention instantly zeroing in on her baby. But again, the pain disappeared as quickly as it came, and Meredith didn't know what to do other than force herself to shrug it off. With nothing more to interrupt her, she returned to trying to study the patient's chart.

"Well, good morning Dr. Grey," called Addison several minutes later, her voice surprisingly cheerful. "I hear you're my intern today?" Meredith tilted her head to the side, not bothering to lift it from her hands, and gave an ungainly sort of nod as she watched Addison clack effortlessly towards the nurses' station, her black skirt swishing with every stride.

"I am," mumbled Meredith in agreement, blinking up at the taller woman as she came to stand beside her.

"Excellent…" said Addison softly, sounding almost distracted as she stared at Meredith. "It's a good case." A slight curious frown made its way across her brow, instantly filling Meredith with unease. Addison always brought up a strange combination of feelings for her; guilt and fear being the two most prevalent emotions, but there were also heavy doses of sorrow and jealousy, shame and regret. However, after being told she looked decidedly pregnant in the morning, Meredith felt nothing save for a desperate desire to keep Addison's eyes trained on her face only.

"Oh…umm…" she blurted out, not really sure of what she wanted to say. She frowned as Addison looked up, nodding expectantly. "So, should we go see our patient then?" she stammered at last, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

Addison just shook her head. "Nope."

"No?" echoed Meredith cautiously as a thousand dreadful scenarios raced through her mind, and she found herself wishing that the other woman's eyes weren't so impossibly hard to read.

"No," repeated Addison, suddenly smiling and taking a sip of her coffee. "We've got to wait. There's one more joining our merry group this morning."

Meredith sighed inwardly, instantly filling with pure relief that that was the only reason they were being held up. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected Addison to say; sudden accusations about her pregnancy, obscure questions about Derek…she didn't know. But myriad possibilities filled her mind, each growing more and more outrageous. Meredith grimaced slightly, feeling more than a bit ridiculous "Waiting…" she said slowly, trying to fill the awkward silence that had quickly bloomed between them. Instinctively, her hand moved to fidget with her watchband. It clinked softly as she spun it in nervous circles, and she licked her lips, trying to manage some sort of friendly facial expression. "Waiting is good. We can wait… Who are we waiting for?" she concluded, wincing as Addison shot her another very puzzled frown.

"My husband," she said simply, gesturing towards the open chart. "It's on the chart. I need him for a consult."

"Oh…right," replied Meredith dully, looking down and finally managing to focus on Derek's name up at the top of the page. Addison was watching her expectantly, and so she nodded her head, trying to wipe off whatever horrified grimace she was sure had just crossed her face. "Derek…I mean, Dr. Shepherd." She flushed slightly from embarrassment, and nodded her head. "That should be…merry," she said slowly, unable to come up with anything else to say.

"It should, shouldn't it?" agreed Addison, her voice dry and slightly ironic, as she raised one perfect curving eyebrow into a slow smirk. She glanced down, tapping her pager with a long fingernail. Wrinkling her nose, she pulled it from where it was clipped to her waist. "Wait here Grey, and snag him if he walks by," she continued absently, hitting her pager hard against the counter. "I've got to get some new batteries." Meredith nodded, and, with another disappointed frown at her pager, Addison spun around and walked off in search of the nearest supply closet.

Meredith's head instantly fell forward again, coming to rest in the palm of her hands. She moaned softly, trying to calm the worries that were slowly building up in the back of her mind thanks to just how awful she felt. Sighing softly, she closed her eyes; consequently feeling Derek's presence beside her first rather than catching a glimpse of his troubled expression as he made his way towards her.

"Meredith," he said gently, even hesitantly, leaning against the counter and frowning down at her. She blinked and looked up, once again not bothering to lift her head.

"What?" she asked flatly, the word sounding heavy and worn as it left her lips.

"About yesterday…" he began, but promptly trailed off, his frown deepening as he stared at her. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, taking in her slumped form and slightly shaking shoulders. "You look like you need to sit down."

"I'm fine," said Meredith, perhaps a little too sharply. She bit her lip, forcing herself to stand up straight, and shoot him a tightlipped smile.

He nodded slowly, uncertainly, still studying her face. "You're sure?"

Meredith heaved an exasperated sigh and nodded her head; growing tired of hearing the same comment repeatedly when she wanted nothing more than to sit down but couldn't. "Yes Derek," she continued crossly. "I'm sure." The tone of her voice left him little room to contradict her without arguing, and, after yesterday, getting into another fight with her was the last thing he wanted to do.

And so he nodded his head again, murmuring, "Okay." He glanced down at his hands for a moment--lips pursed and apparently deep in thought--before turning again to look at her. "Meredith, yesterday…" he began again, his blue eyes darkening apologetically. "I shouldn't have…"

"We can't do this right now," said Meredith quickly, cutting him off. Derek's expression grew rapidly puzzled, tinged ever so slightly with hurt, and she heard herself moving to explain. "We're working."

He failed to comprehend what she was implying. "So?"

"So…we're working with your wife," snapped Meredith. "You're her consult, and I'm her intern. We can't do this now." She nearly hissed her words at him, her eyes filling with fear as she caught sight of a familiar head of red hair moving towards them down the hall.

Derek heaved a frustrated sigh, but he relented with a slow reluctant nod of his head just as Addison returned to them, refastening her pager to the waistband of her skirt.

"Ah, good. You found him," she said, leaning forward and pressing her lips to Derek's cheek. Meredith promptly looked away, staring down at the floor and doing her best to ignore the greetings the two of them exchanged. "Shall we go?" continued Addison, smiling at Meredith in an attempt to minimize the awkwardness as much as possible. Meredith found she could only nod, and reluctantly stepped away from the support provided by leaning against the counter. She felt strange; as if she were dizzy…perhaps floating. However, the room didn't spin. It remained perfectly straight, and so, with a deep determined breath, she forced herself to follow after them. Derek's stride had always been long, and Addison was tall as well, but somehow, Meredith felt as if they were nearly racing down the hall. They were already several feet in front of her when a sudden painful twinge in her side forced her to stop walking altogether. It was pure reflex to gasp out loud, but even as she did, she tried to stifle the sound, knowing that it would only make them turn around and look at her. "Hurry up, Dr. Grey," said Addison, glancing down at her watch, her expression slightly irritated. Meredith mumbled an apology, and forced herself to start walking again. Derek was looking over his shoulder at her, his eyes both worried and curious, full of unspoken questions. Meredith silenced them all with a vicious shake of her head, filled with an almost paralyzing desire to act normally around Addison.

However, she had barely made it three feet when another stronger biting pain filled her stomach. The gasp that escaped her lips was louder and utterly impossible to restrain this time, and she stopped short, finding herself frozen in place. She was vaguely aware that both Addison and Derek had turned around again, that Addison was speaking to her in a voice that vacillated between annoyed and questioning. But all Meredith could focus on were Derek's eyes. They seemed to align perfectly with her own; absorbing and reflecting the fear written there. "Meredith?" he asked, his voice somehow both gentle and unbelievably strong. She heard a faint, pathetic whimpering sound slip past her lips as her stomach twinged sharply yet again, and the dread in her eyes escaped to flood her face. "Mer…" he continued, and she found herself somehow leaning into the strength of the sound of his speech; letting it fill her until it blocked out the fact that they were in a hallway bustling with people, that Addison was only a few feet away.

"I'm…" she began, her voice weak and shaky, refusing to look anywhere save his face. To pretend that he was the only one there was the only way she could bring herself to speak, and she knew then that she had to speak...she couldn't stay silent any longer. "I'm just going to go sit down after all," she stammered at last; trying not to be afraid, trying to pretend that she was somewhere else…anywhere other than where she was.

"Okay," he said immediately, turning and walking quickly back towards her. Meredith didn't know how he managed to sound so calm, when, inside her head, her mind was screaming at her.

"Dr. Grey," called Addison, her voice still puzzled, still annoyed, still not quite comprehending. "Derek?" she continued when she got no answer from Meredith.

But her voice failed to even register in his mind. Derek was aware of nothing save for the fact that Meredith had staggered to a stop, reaching out and grabbing hold of the wall behind her. "Mer," he repeated gently, having caught up with her by then. "Do you want to go to a chair?" She just shook her head fiercely, her eyes wide--almost frantic--as she stared at him.

"No…" she whimpered in a thin small voice. "I'm just…I can't…" Her words were cut short by another vicious burst of pain, and she cried out loud, unable to keep her hands from her stomach any longer. "I'm just…I'm just gonna sit…down," she stammered at last, sliding down the length of the wall to curl up on the floor, her lip trembling as she moaned softly.

"Okay…" he whispered, crouching down beside her and gently pushing the hair out of her eyes. In that moment, all the arguments and the pain caught between them dissolved away, turning insignificant when placed next to the fear that filled her. Everything seemed to disappear save them. Meredith reached out blindly, needing nothing quite so desperately as she needed his hand to hold. And for once, it was there. He was there. She had Derek. His fingers intertwined with hers; hands clasping and holding tight. "Meredith," he continued as her nails dug into him. "What's wrong? Can you tell me?" He reached out with his free hand, tilting her chin up as she gasped again. Derek's own heart was racing, but somehow he managed to keep his voice even--steady and calming. "Tell me what's wrong Mer."

She shook her head, biting her lip. "I don't know," she whispered, her voice quavering. "Something just hurts. Something…" Meredith moaned in pain once again, her words trailing off as she leaned forward, her forehead coming to rest against his shoulder. Derek bent and pressed his lips to the top of her head, murmuring gentle reassurances to her in a low voice. She seemed to calm down slightly then, and finally, Derek remembered where they were…remembered his wife. Slowly, he turned his head to find Addison standing perfectly still, as if frozen at the end of the hall.

Addison couldn't move. She simply stood there, staring with haunted unseeing eyes at Meredith's crumpled form. It was a sort of horrible delayed reaction that kept her from speaking, and set her mind whirling instead. It was coldly ironic somehow, she was sure of that. Her job was pregnant women. She knew them. She was around them constantly, and yet…she hadn't noticed. The past few months seemed to be playing back before her mind's eye with horridly vivid clarity, and Addison realized that, if she had only thought to pay attention, there had been plenty of clues. Her constant tiredness, the sudden change to looser clothes, the slight fullness to her features, the way her walk had shifted a little from its former light purposeful gait--that little skip that annoyed her so--to something heavier. Meredith was pregnant, and had been for months. Right in front of her own eyes. And yet, she hadn't seen it. Denial…willful deceit by her own mind against herself…she supposed it was possible. All she knew was that five minutes ago, Meredith had just been Meredith. The shrill and tiny blonde her husband still looked at. But now, when she looked at Meredith all she could see was that the girl was blatantly pregnant. Her body practically screamed pregnant at Addison. And, by the way Derek was crouching in front of her, clasping her hand as if his own life depended on her touch, she didn't even have to consider whose baby it was. She knew it was her husband's.

"Oh my god…" she heard herself finally gasp, and she could almost laugh at how ridiculously long it took her to say even that…if it weren't for the fact that she felt as if she had forgotten how to laugh altogether.

Meredith looked up at the sound of her voice, lifting her frightened tear streaked face from where it rested against Derek's shoulder. She looked at Addison with wide eyes; filled with a thousand things she knew she would never be able to properly express to the other woman. "I'm so sorry," was all she could manage--her voice a broken little gasp spilling over with apologies.

"You're pregnant," replied Addison dully, and the words sounded heavy and foreboding to her. Meredith moved to answer, but she winced in pain once more, and instead turned back with a whimper to burry her face against Derek's neck. "You're pregnant…" repeated Addison, shaking her head. She knew the answer, but for some reason, she needed to hear confirmation. "Derek," she tried, turning her attention to the man whose focus had once again returned to Meredith, watching as he stood and gently lifted her in his arms. "She's pregnant?" It turned in to a question when addressed to Derek; as if, despite all the evidence, despite her own unshakable knowledge that Meredith was pregnant, it wouldn't really become true until Derek himself confirmed it.

He looked up at her then--his eyes distracted--almost annoyed with her for pulling his attention away from Meredith. "Yes Addison," he said at last, his voice flat as he met her gaze for the briefest of moments. And in that single second, he effectively shattered over eleven years of marriage. "She's pregnant." Without another word to her, Derek turned and stopped the nearest nurse, reaching out and snatching her by the arm. "Page me OB/GYN," he ordered, glancing back down at the tiny woman in his arms. The nurse started to nod and walk off, but he stopped her again. "And I want an Attending," he added, his voice coming out brusque and demanding as a consequence of his own churning emotions. "Nothing less."

The nurse's response was as immediate as it had been the first time, although she seemed slightly taken back by the demand. "Of course. Uh…right away." She leaned forward, peering up at Meredith, before adding, "There's an empty room two doors down. If you want to put her on a bed…" Derek nodded instantly, and before Meredith had time to fully process all that had been said, she felt him lowering her gently down onto an empty bed.

"Derek…"

"Shhh…" he soothed, running his fingers through her hair. "You're gonna be okay Mer." His voice was a gentle murmur--like the soft lapping sound of water--and it helped to calm her. "You're going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine…" Meredith nodded and started to blink back her tears, only to find Derek already pressing his thumb to her cheek, and gently wiping them away. Another small whimper escaped her lips, and Derek frowned softly, studying her face. "What is it Mer?" he asked.

Her voice was a tiny trembling thing. "I'm scared."

"I know," he whispered, once again swallowing his own fear so that he could smile at her. "It's okay." She nodded her head, believing him…or at least, trying to believe him. She did feel a little bit better, now that she wasn't forcing herself to keep moving and doing. The thick veil of exhaustion that had followed her all day lessened slightly as her body sunk into the soft folds of the bed.

As if guessing her thoughts, Derek ran a hand along the curve of her face, asking, "How do you feel?"

"Better," she murmured quietly. "A bit better." But, even as she spoke, another sharp twinge ran through her stomach. Meredith tensed, her hand grasping at the curve of her belly, as her face crumbled and fell. She shook her head, adding, "Never mind. It comes and goes."

"I know," he whispered, once again stroking her hair. "I know… Just breathe."

"Doctor?" called a voice suddenly from the doorway, and Derek turned about to find the nurse he had stopped earlier standing there. "May I speak with you out here for a moment?"

He glanced immediately back at Meredith, squeezing her hand. "It'll just be one second Mer," he said reassuringly, and she started to nod her head, but her expression changed mid-gesture.

"No…" she stammered, her green eyes suddenly brimming with guilt. "You have to…you have to talk to Addison."

"That can wait," he promised, but she shook her head sharply, her voice growing agitated.

"No…" she whimpered, her lip trembling slightly. "No, Derek, she wasn't supposed to find out like this. This wasn't supposed to happen."

"I know Meredith, but…"

"Derek, please," interrupted Meredith, eyes wide and voice shaking. Even in the midst of all of her panic, a small part of her mind flickered back to what had happened in the hallway, and it caused her to feel as if she were very nearly being smothered beneath a crushing wave of guilt and regret. "You need to explain," she pleaded. "You need to tell her I'm sorry, and that we…that…"

"Okay," soothed Derek quickly, not wanting Meredith to upset herself in the slightest at the moment. "Okay Mer. I'll talk to her, okay?"

She nodded her head gratefully, seeming appeased by that. "Thank you," she murmured softly, her voice bringing a smile to his face.

"Of course," he said, and he raised her small hand, pressing her fingers to his lips. "Now you just rest, and I'll be back soon. You're going to be okay," he added reassuringly as he leaned down and kissed her forehead, before turning and following the nurse out into the hall.

Meredith watched Derek go with wide eyes, and, without him beside her, she turned warily to stare down at her stomach. Running a trembling hand across it, she repeated his words to her baby in a whisper. "You're going to be okay." Only she didn't know how Derek had made his voice so strong. Her own shook with worry, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying. "It's gonna…don't be scared," she stammered, shaking her head. "It's going to be okay." But, as she spoke, her stomach twinged uncomfortably again, and the tears she was holding back started to spill silently down her face. "Please," Meredith murmured desperately. "Please…you have to be okay. Please just be fine…" She sniffled and looked up briefly at the sound of a nurse entering her room, before returning her attention to the life within her. "Please," she whispered over and over, until the sound started to seem meaningless. "Please be okay."

-----

"What is it?" demanded Derek instantly as he followed the nurse out into the hall.

"Well, I know you requested an Attending," began the nurse apologetically. "But OB just called back saying that they had an emergency c-section come in, so the on-call Attending is currently off the floor. They said he can come once he's through, and they have a second year resident they can send to you immediately." Derek shook his head disbelievingly, casting a worried glance back through the doorway at Meredith's trembling form. "They suggested paging Dr. Montgomery Shepherd if it's urgent though," continued the nurse, as Derek whipped back around to stare at her. "She's a neonatal Attending on-call right now, and would be more than…"

"I know who my wife is, thank you," interrupted Derek angrily, and as he spoke, his gaze settled on Addison. She was still standing at the end of the hall, her face blank…utterly expressionless, as if she hadn't moved since he saw her last. They locked eyes painfully, and Derek brushed past the nurse, walking towards her. "Addison," he began quietly. "Please…"

She shook her head, her pale blue eyes wide and uncertain. When she spoke, her voice was a low and broken sound. "Derek, you can't ask me to examine her."

"Addie," he pleaded. "I know you're mad, and you have every right to be…"

"Mad?" she interrupted disbelievingly, still shaking her head. "I haven't even gotten to mad yet Derek. I'm still in shock. I mean, pinch me. I don't think I'll feel it. Seriously, when were you planning on telling me you were having a child with another woman? With Meredith Grey?" Her voice trembled almost imperceptibly as she said the intern's name, and she looked away, staring down at the perfect black leather surface of her shoes.

Derek groaned, raising both his hands and pressing them to his forehead. "I know," he moaned, rubbing his eyes. "I know it's not fair to you, and I'm sorry. Be mad at me later. Hate me later, but right now…please, Meredith needs a doctor."

"Derek, you really think what she needs right now is me as her doctor?" asked Addison incredulously. "You think that's going to help her? I'm pretty sure that I'm the last person Meredith wants walking into that room."

"She doesn't want you as a doctor," agreed Derek. "She needs you as a doctor. Her choices are currently you or a second year resident."

Addison sighed heavily, shaking her head. "I just think…"

"Addie," continued Derek, the fear he had held back while talking to Meredith finally seeping into his voice. "She was terrified of you finding out. Utterly terrified. For her to just collapse in front of you like she did, she would…she would have to be…" His voice shook slightly and trailed off, not wanting to voice what he dreaded, settling instead for ending in an utterly hopeless shrug.

"In a lot of pain," supplied Addison in a quiet voice of comprehension, finally understanding the nearly paralyzed look in her husband's eyes. Derek simply nodded, feeling as if he had lost the ability to speak. She took a long deep breath, slowly nodding her head as well. "Okay," she continued, her voice even softer than before. "I'll go. But Derek…she's what? Sixteen weeks? Maybe eighteen?" Addison pursed her lips together into a thin line, her eyes growing somber. "There's no extra-uterine viability that early. If she's in preterm labor…"

"Jesus Addison," interrupted Derek, whirling around to face her. "Don't you think I know that?" His voice was an anguished devastated hiss that had her reaching out, despite everything, to grip his hand reassuringly. "That's my child," he added, his voice coming dangerously close to breaking.

Addison nodded slowly, staring into his eyes. "I know," she heard herself say, her voice sounding quiet and very far away. She didn't know how she was managing to speak, when inside she felt as if she were falling apart, but somehow she found herself comforting him. "Now stop worrying…we don't know anything yet." A wry smile flashed across her face as she added, "Besides, I'm very good at what I do, remember?" He nodded, and the two of them stared sadly at each other for a moment, and consequently, both were taken off guard by the sudden arrival of George O'Malley.

"Dr. Shepherd," he gasped sounding curiously out of breath. Both Derek and Addison turned to look at him, frowning in astonishment. "I finally found you," he continued, straightening up and grinning proudly. "Trauma sent me to find you. There's a fifteen year-old female who took a bullet to the temporal lobe who just came in. You wouldn't believe it, but she was fully conscious when they brought her in," he continued, his voice filling with amazement as he shook his head. "It was wild…" He trailed off abruptly, suddenly registering the two stoic expressions in front of him. "Is everything…"

"Page the on-call neuro," said Derek roughly, already turning back towards Meredith's room.

"But that's you," spluttered George, his voice full of disbelief. "They've been paging you for twenty minutes with no answer. That's why they finally sent me to hunt you down." Derek shook his head, glancing down to see a wealth of missed pages he hadn't even felt register on his pager. He looked back up helplessly, his eyes wide and lost. "Is something wrong?" asked George hesitantly, finding himself filled with unease over Derek's strange behavior.

"Meredith…" murmured Derek softly, speaking more to himself than either his wife or George. "I need to go be with Meredith."

"What? Oh my god," gasped George, as everything before him suddenly fell into place in his mind. "Is she okay? Did something happen to the baby?" As soon as he spoke, he grimaced painfully, his entire face flushing as he turned to stare open-mouthed at Addison. "I mean…" he began, his voice hesitant and utterly unsure.

"Relax, O'Malley," she replied, holding up a hand. "I'm about to go examine her now."

"She knows?" stuttered George, looking back and forth between the Shepherds. "I mean…you know?" he corrected himself apologetically.

Addison flashed him a dry smile, nodding her head. "Just found out actually." Without another word, she pivoted on her heel, and started to head towards Meredith's room. Instinctively, Derek moved to follow her, but she shook her head sharply. "No Derek," she said, whirling around and pointing a perfectly manicured finger at his chest. "You're going with Dr. O'Malley."

"No," he said flatly. "Meredith needs…"

"You are not leaving a fifteen year-old girl down in the trauma bay to die," continued Addison, interrupting him. "You tell Richard he needs to get another neurosurgeon in as soon as he can if you want. But you go, and you start the surgery."

"But Meredith…"

"Is my patient now." Addison looked him square in the eye, her voice calming yet firm. "Go see yours. I promise, I will take care of Meredith," she continued, and Derek finally nodded his head. "Besides," she added, somehow managing to speak lightly. "You'd just be in my way in there." At that, a brief flicker of a smile flashed across his face, and he seemed to snap out of the terrified daze he had been held in.

"Dr. O'Malley," he said sharply, turning to look at George who was still standing there silently, eyes wide. "Run ahead, and tell them to start prepping the OR."

"Yes, Dr. Shepherd," he replied, and with one last nervous glance at them, he complied and hurried quickly towards the elevators.

In the sudden silence that followed, Addison and Derek found themselves staring at each other again. Their eyes were brimming with everything they knew still needed to be said, and it was holding them briefly frozen. "Just…" he said at last, shaking his head. "Just give me a minute." And Addison nodded mutely as he brushed past her, walking straight into Meredith's room. She tried not to pay attention as he bent over her, tightly clasping her small hand in his larger one. But it was like standing in front of a train wreck; she couldn't bring herself to look away. And so Addison simply stared, watching wide-eyed as her husband smoothed the stray strands of hair out of Meredith's face, and said something to her in a low gentle voice that brought a smile to her lips. Just when it was getting close to unbearable, Derek straightened up again, and came walking back out into the hall.

"Addie…" he began tentatively, taking in her somber face...her blue eyes that had lost their usual pale light. She just nodded her head, turning to stare blankly at him. "Thank you," he said softly, his expression sincere and grateful. "Thank you for doing this for me."

At that, Addison laughed sadly, almost bitterly; a shiver of a sound like the breaking of glass. "Not for you," she replied, her voice deathly quiet--the first open acknowledgement of just how much he had hurt her. "I'm doing this for the baby."

Derek nodded slowly, his face growing as solemn as hers. "Okay," he agreed in a whisper, and with that one word, he left her standing alone in the doorway to the room.

Addison wavered there for a moment; trying not to be overwhelmed, trying not to dread the knowledge that she had to turn and walk in through the open door to Meredith. She closed her eyes for a split second; unsure of how she had just survived all of that, and equally unsure of how she was going to survive what she knew was coming next. She wanted to go ahead and just let her heart break already for her marriage--but she swallowed hard, and forced herself to put it off for a little bit longer.

-----

And…hmmm…yeah. We have no more Secret Baby Conspiracy. (Told ya it would be over soon, didn't I?) However, Mer/Der didn't get to end the Conspiracy on their own terms. Not at all. Because seriously, the ideal way to tell Addison is not the way she found out. And…I shall ramble about Addison first! (I have a hunch I have a lot to ramble about, so you know…just a warning that I am feeling very…ramble-y.) So, I know some people aren't Addison fans, however…hopefully you guys feel at least a teensy bit sorry for her here. Because, she's working with her husband and his ex, and she knows it's going to be awkward, and is actually trying to be fairly nice and friendly about it for a change, and then with no warning, she gets smacked in the face with the fact that Meredith is having her husband's baby. And that is a lot for her to take in, and Mer is in pain and Derek is worried about her, so Addison doesn't even get a decent explanation. She's just left standing there, pretty much in shock. Until Derek comes back out to get her to take care of Mer, because he is scared, and doesn't want just anybody taking care of Meredith. The fact that she was in enough pain to just go ahead and let Addison find out scares him, because he knew just how much she was dreading Addison finding out. And so, even though he knows Mer probably wouldn't want Addison to be her doctor, and he knows that he just dropped a huge bombshell on Addison, he goes ahead and asks her anyway. Because he trusts her, and he knows that she's the best. Plus, he's utterly terrified. He forces himself to stay in control around Mer, but when he's not around her, it overwhelms him. So much so that his wife ends up letting what he's done to her alone for awhile to simply comfort him. And Addison finds a way to swallow everything that she's feeling at the moment to go and take of Meredith, despite the fact that she knows it has effectively killed her marriage. But, in the end, she makes Derek do the same thing, and go and take care of his own patient. Because he's spent more than enough time being selfish over things, and Addison doesn't want this other patient to die when technically Derek can go to her. So, she promises him she'll take care of Meredith, and just forces herself to put off her own pain and emotions for a little while longer.

And Meredith just…really shouldn't have been standing up and working pretty much continually for well over twenty-four hours. It wasn't smart. At all. Neither was continually refusing to sit down or rest or do anything remotely approaching sensible with regards to work and her baby. She was so caught up in keeping the fact that she was pregnant a secret that it ends up very much coming around to bite her in the ass. Because ignoring something that huge for that long? It's just dumb. She shouldn't have done it, Derek should've tried harder to stop her…a lot of things, but, in the end, it's what happened. And so now, Mer is scared and in pain, and doesn't know what's happening. On top of that, Addison knows now. And that is this huge wave of guilt for Meredith that has her just begging Derek to explain to Addison, because she knows this wasn't how this whole thing should've been handled. However, her problems with Derek that were making her miserable? When it really matters, they all just become insignificant. And so, in the moment, they just let go of all the awkwardness and the hurt feelings and everything, because she needs him, and he needs to be there for her. And he finally, finally is. That's not to say that it magically solved all of their problems, because it didn't. But, it did help them realize how insignificant all their arguing and ignoring each other was in the bigger picture.

So yes, that's about it. The Conspiracy is over. Addison knows. Mer/Der stop fighting. Etc., etc., etc… Yeah…lots of stuff happened. And we exchanged a bit of the emotional angst for…I'm not sure of what type of angst. But, I think it's a different variety angst. Perhaps… Anyway, thanks so much for reading. Hopefully, you enjoyed!