Author: therubyone
Summary: Josh and Drake are grounded again, but the boys are pleased to spend the time together. Josh has cooked up a secret evening out on the town, but will things go according to plan?
Disclaimer: Drake and Josh, sadly, not owned by me; only borrowing.
Rating: M for Mature - contains slash, drug use and mild het – if you find this upsetting, do not read!
Spoilers: Action set in the general D/J universe soon after the events shown in the episode Steered Straight.
Teaser: "He felt like he had stumbled into another universe . ."
Ch 3 of 6
PLEASE PLEASE ME
Chapter 3. Saturday Night Special.
By the time Josh and Drake arrived at the Stop'N'Shop, they were starting to come down a little. Probably a good thing when meeting someone for the first time, thought Drake. He had never been on a blind date before. Then Josh was introducing him to Register 5 and Frozen Foods, who was as tall as he was! Register 5 wore blue jeans and Frozen Foods was wearing short belted khaki shorts that displayed her long, slender legs. These college girls seemed more independent and sure of themselves than high school girls.
Josh's date "R5" was also tall, and had short, black hair, styled in soft curls. Her eyes were blue and her skin was clear and radiant. She had a long neck, and a friendly smile, with one dimple in her left cheek. Drake's date "FF" was model thin and had straight, medium length hair that had been chemically transformed into a bright spray of magenta. She was vivacious, with a small, high bustline. Her layered tank top revealed a taut midriff sporting a belly button-ring. She had a ready laugh, lively brown eyes, and her hands never stopped moving as she talked.
Josh put his arm around Register 5 and they proceeded to the parking lot to Register 5's old beat car. Once they were all inside, she proffered a blunt, lighting it, taking a hit, and passing it to Josh. He inhaled deeply and passed it into the backseat for Drake and his date. "Vanilla Dutch Masters - my favorite," commented Frozen Foods.
"I KNOW!" answered Register 5, laughing. Once they were all pleasantly mellow, they headed to the club.
"It's a jazz battle of the bands tonight, so we should get a good mix of sounds," an eager FF announced.
The exterior of the Sugar Shack didn't look too promising, but there were a lot of people milling around on the sidewalk outside. It was a beautiful southern Californian night. Once inside, it took some doing to find a good table. The couples wandered around twice under the dim lights before they lucked into a booth that another group was leaving. The girls held the seats, while Drake and Josh went to get drinks.
Suddenly Drake called out "JOSH!" in a loud voice, as he was wont to do when he had important news that demanded immediate attention, thus causing Josh to drop the two Orange Flips he was carrying.
"What?" responded Josh, suppressing his irritation over dropping the drinks and making a mess.
"You are not going to believe this -- look over there! Craig Ramirez and Eric Blaunowitz are here. With DATES! Two attractive females!" said a shocked Drake.
"Good for them," answered Josh, amused, stepping around the spill, and returning to the bar to get replacement drinks and let the bartender know that there was a spill that needed to be cleaned up.
Drake followed and insisted, "What if they blow our cover or something? Do they know we're supposed to be grounded?"
"Why would they want to spoil our evening?" queried Josh.
"Nerds can be unpredictable in a social setting," sputtered Drake.
"I don't think you need to worry," assured Josh. "Let's just sit down and enjoy the music."
Drake carried a Mocha Cola for himself and a Mt. Fizz for Josh, while Josh brought the Orange Flips for the girls. Frozen Foods produced a slim silver flask and poured something into the orange drinks. "Do you want some? I should've told you to get 4 orange flips. I don't know if vodka mixes well with what you've got."
Josh didn't think that drinking was a good idea for him or Drake, not wanting to risk anything going wrong. Diplomatically he replied, "Maybe on the next round."
Since it was so late, they would only be able to catch a few of the acts. The next set, performed by the Fabulous Fleckensteins, started with a catchy, soulful rendition of "Dream a Little Dream of Me," that combined the sounds of an organ, drums and an alto saxophone. Then they heard a song with a bossanova beat, a sultry female vocalist accompanied by guitar, snare drum and flute. Each song seemed better than the one before, and showcased a variety of jazz stylings.
The waitress brought a big platter of nachos. The conversation came easily to everyone at the table. Josh was casually monitoring Drake and glad that he seemed to be enjoying himself. Drake smiled inwardly as he heard Josh and his date deep in a discussion debating the finer points of certain graphic novels. "Comic books, so dorky!" tittered Drake, partly to FF and partly to himself.
Josh led R5 to the floor during a slow dance rendition of "Stormy Weather," featuring a pair of tenor and alto saxophones, blowing sweet and low. Drake excused himself to use the men's room. En route, he observed R5 and Josh, in a clinch, exchanging long, deep kisses as they swayed to the music. He felt a jolt of deja vu like lightning pass through his entire body, with part of him observing his stepbrother kissing a woman, and another part of him, experiencing the sensation of kissing Josh and being kissed by Josh. He stood stock still for a moment, puzzled, sorting through his reactions, then returned to his immediate mission. Once inside, he saw Eric coming out of one of the stalls.
"Drake? I never expected to run into YOU here," Eric said, rapidly blinking his eyes, and adjusting his glasses by twitching his nose. Eric was wearing a navy blazer with a crested pocket over a white oxford shirt, to make himself appear older; a plastic-tipped cigarillo was in the breast pocket of the jacket.
"Well, I never expected to see you and Eric on a double date with real, live girls," countered Drake, as he approached the urinal and unzipped.
"I'M Eric – you KNOW that! We answered an ad to tutor these two girls in math and science. They don't know we're high school honor students. They think we TEACH at Belleview. So, be a pal, and don't mess it up," requested Eric, in his best guy-to-guy way.
"Sure. Okay," answered Drake, feeling magnanimous. "Josh and I are here with some college girls, too." As Drake turned towards the wall and relieved himself, he considered what a funny, wonderful and unexpected evening it was turning out to be, and chuckled softy.
Leaving the rest room, Drake found that the original path he had taken was now blocked with chatting throngs of people, while the next act, Sunset 2277, was quickly setting up their equipment.
Impatiently, Drake turned to take the long way around to his table. To his utter amazement, he spotted Helen and Gavin, Josh's boss and a fellow employee. The two of them were sitting very close together. Oh. My. God. Gavin had his arm around Helen! Helen AND Gavin, as in a couple?!? They were sharing some kind of frozen concoction in a large margarita glass, their heads nearly touching, as they sipped from separate crazy straws. Drake ducked into the crowd and managed to get back to his booth, unseen.
Luckily, Josh's hands were empty, when he involuntarily startled at the sound of a loud "JOSH!" in his ear. "Helen and Gavin are here - TOGETHER!" Drake announced, bouncing on his heels with glee. He then leaned over and said quietly, so only Josh could hear, "Do you think Helen will tell our folks we violated our grounding, if she sees us?"
Josh laughed lazily and replied, "Not unless Helen wants everyone to know about her secret affairs. She and Gavin have been an item for a long time now. But the word's out that Crazy Steve is trying hard to win her back. Apparently, she knows her way around the bedroom, if you take my meaning."
Drake was dumbfounded. Shaking his head, he said "I never would have guessed."
"Sure. Why do you think Gavin gets away with sleeping on the roof whenever he feels like it?" Seeing the semi-horrified expression on Drake's face, Josh added, "And we know if the door's locked, that she's gone up there to be with him. Helen throws some wild parties at her place, too. You've seen her insane condo. I've only been to a few of these events, since her feelings about me are so ambivalent. But she definitely has a thing for younger men."
Remembering Gavin's comments about his own sweet mother, Audrey, Drake said, "That works out for Gavin, then, since he seems to like the older women. By the way, have you and she ever -"
Josh blanched and his lip curled, as he responded, "No, dude! No way! We only played racquetball a few times. Besides, I'd be too frightened!"
Drake gulped and thought back nervously to all the flirty remarks Helen had said to him and about him over the years, the way she stared right through his clothes, the tight, involuntary hugs. Then he threw back his head and started laughing. "You never put any of this in your journal, Josh, and it's way more interesting than the stuff you do."
Josh turned his head to make a face at Drake as he was leading his date back out onto the crowded little dance floor, and said, "Just for that, then, I guess I won't be telling you how I found out our Aunt Barb is gay! Or how I know where her tattoos are!" He stuck out his tongue, for emphasis, and left Drake gaping. The song being played featured a xylophone and it got everyone's feet a-tapping. The music was urbane and sophisticated and contributed to the thoughts that Drake was entertaining: he felt like he had stumbled into another universe, or that he was on the recreation level of the starship in Galaxy Wars; he was learning so many strange, new things about people in his life that everyone else seemed to already know.
Drake continued demolishing the nacho platter, enjoying the music, and getting to know his date. As FF laughed at his comments about other patrons, Drake caught a glimpse of a stud in her tongue, and his imagination started him wondering how that would feel against certain regions of his anatomy.
Frozen Foods got tired of waiting for the server, so she went up to the bar to order a big lime slushie, for her to spike, so she could share it with Drake. Drake took the opportunity to slip outside into the back alley, following one of the earlier acts, Miles Davis Tribute, as they exited to load some equipment. He was particularly interested in making contact with the female drummer. Since Drake and Gary were constantly at loggerheads in his band, Drake was always on the lookout for replacement talent.
Ten minutes later, Drake was just about ready to climb into a van with his newfound friends, when he felt a strong hand firmly gripping the back of his jacket and pulling him away from the vehicle. Drake observed the warning signs of Josh about to lose it: compressed lips, narrowed eyes, tapping foot. Josh gave Drake a flinty look that said "stay put" and waved goodbye to the departing group, "Yeah, great set, see ya next time."
Bringing his face level with Drake's, Josh wanted to know, "Just where did you think you were going?"
"They invited me to a party," answered Drake, on the defensive. "I just wanted to make some connections with other musicians."
In a stern voice, Josh told him, "I hope you got a phone number, then, because I'm not letting you go off somewhere with strangers, not tonight." Firmly grasping Drake's elbow, Josh steered him back inside the building.
"Unbelievable! Eric's actually getting to second base!" Drake pointed out with awe as they walked past a couple making out in a booth. Although the male's back was turned to them, they could clearly see the outline of a hand surrounding a breast, underneath the female's long-sleeved form-fitting t-shirt.
"You do know that's CRAIG --," muttered Josh, stopping in mid-sentence when Drake stumbled.
"Let's stay outside a minute, in the fresh air," Drake said, touching his forehead and starting to look decidedly pale.
Concerned, Josh quickly got Drake back outside and steadied him up against the alley wall. "Are you gonna be alright?"
Drake was gulping in lungfuls of fresh air. "I just felt a little dizzy all of a sudden."
"Aww, have you been drinking?" Josh asked, fearing the worst.
"No. Maybe. Some," admitted Drake. "She let me finish her Orange Flip when she went to get the lime slushie. It was very strong. I guess it crept up on me."
"I know you've been smoking pot all day. Did you eat anything this evening besides your snacks and the candy?" inquired Josh, analyzing the situation.
"I ate most of the nachos just now," admitted Drake.
"All that stuff is swirling around in your system," Josh continued, "and with the vodka thrown in on top of it . . . no wonder you don't feel so great. It's extremely warm in there. Do you want us to bail?"
"No. I'll be okay," Drake said, wanting to believe it, trying to quell the spinning in his head and stomach.
"How's it going with your date - the one you were about to leave a minute ago, so you could go to a party?" Josh asked, with a touch of sarcasm.
"She reminds me a little bit of the Bartleby sisters without the Goth make-up. Maybe it's just because she's older," Drake said, sounding somewhat scared, "I kind of feel like the fly in the spider's web. It's as if she can tell what I'm thinking before I even know myself."
Josh replied, "Well, we can tell the girls we have to be going after this place closes."
"No! It's turning out to be a fantastic evening so far. I'm really digging the music and this cool club. Isn't this where Henry Doheny and Walter came that one time?" Drake continued to lobby, "Let's not end it because I'm out of my comfort zone."
"If you're sure. All you have to do is say the word, if you change your mind. We have to work as a team on this," Josh reminded Drake. "That fusion jazz place was a bar, downtown. That's why Dad and Mr. Doheny didn't take me along after all. I changed into fresh pants for nothing!" Josh remembered, with regret.
"Alright then," said Drake, squaring his shoulders and pulling himself together. "Let's get back in there, before the kitchen closes. I think I'll feel a lot better if I eat something substantial."
When the two boys reached their table, the two girls were sharing the frozen lime slushie with crazy straws. FF waved an extra crazy straw at Drake, then used it to point to a platter containing a cheeseburger and onion rings. "I sensed you were getting hungry, so I ordered this for you."
"You must be a mind reader. It's just what the doctor ordered!" replied Drake, taking his seat and reaching for a napkin.
When Drake had finished every last crumb from the plate and he was sighing pleasantly, FF introduced another spliff, with a head-tilting gesture to indicate going outside in the alley to smoke it. The couples took turns in the alley, which was beginning to fill up with other people who were smoking, talking, clearing their heads and/or making out. Drake and FF had a slurred talk about the Beatles and the history of music, when it came out in the conversation that FF knew how to play the drums! It was like stepping from black and white into color for Drake, as his evening's enjoyment quotient just shot off the meter. R5 came out after 15 minutes to shoo them back inside. Last call had been announced.